In spite of all the motion detectors and 3 dogs for an alarm. She is outside my glass sliding door on the patio. I was cleaning the glass doors and there she was. I refused to let her in. Then I went to clean the front storm door, there she was mocking every single move I made. The doors are locked and I've drawn all the curtains.

Be very careful She lurks here and knows our every move.

Help!
Gayle

There is an old woman living at my house and yesterday evening she left a message for the newspaper circulation department saying she did not receive her newspaper. The paper is not published on Mondays! She really embarrasses me when she does things like that and leaves my address and phone number. I wish she would just mind her own business.

To top it all the old battleaxe has followed me to work. She takes my notes and leaves them scattered around the desk and in the store room. She can't spell and misfiles everything according to her own personal alphabet. I keep hoping she will take a vacation, but she seems to think I can't live without her and won't go AWAY!

Well, I really thought that I was exempt from having her at my house. After all, I live all the way in the backwoods of Arkansaw.... I've had suspicions that she might be hangin' around. Now this afternoon, I KNOW it! She picked up the phone to call Pizza for Less to deliver. Then told Twinkie, "Guess they'll get here quicker if I don't try to call them on the remote!" Sheesh!

That old woman is kinda like a wet dog. She gets around to everybody eventually, I guess.

She made me grab a hot dish with my bare hands tonight! I'd warmed it up in the oven and decided it wasn't hot enough, so she thought..."just put it in the microwave for a bit"...and so I lifted it from the counter... and nearly dropped it.

She's gonna hurt me one of these days, the ol' biddy!

Leslie/KS

She hid three items that I looked for weeks . One, a Xmas card holder was in the attic, one a bunch of old blocks was in a hooded wicker cat bed?? and the last an Ikea metal grid I have never found and she says she put it in the kitchen. How can she lose something that big.?

I think both she and the old man have invaded our home. Twinkie and I both used to love to travel. We still would (if we had the money!) but we both get this "like to be in our own bed" syndrome. I used to think Mama and Daddy were strange when they expressed that one! LOL

The old lady in my house is hogging the bathroom! I see her working in the kitchen, then she is suddenly running down the hall, knocking over anything in her path as she barges her way into the bathroom, slamming the door so hard that it ratttles the dishes in the china cupboard. Seems I am always buying toilet paper. And worst of all, this old woman doesn't remember to replenish the roll when sjhe uses the last sheet. Honestly, I don't know how or why anyone would have to pee so often!

Well she really gets around! At my house she keeps ajusting and reajusting the text size on my computer and the thermostat goes up and down like a toilet seat. And if I catch her hiding my glasses just one more time...

See that? She even plays around with my spelling! (adjusting) LOL!

This old woman looked in the mirror, and my mother was looking back at me!. Many times I can see her in my face, and it always startles me, cause I'm still 35 in my head!

I have so enjoyed this post!!!

This old haglet has lived with me for quite a few years! I opened the frig last night and her Preperation H plugs fell out....slid across the floor and my neighbors foot stopped the box. I was so embarrassed for the haglet, I quickly scooped up the box and slid it into the crisper for the time being.
And what IS up with the big cotton drawers??? And those stiff, HUGE cupped bra's??? I am thankful for a dryer!!! I could never let her hang those on a line to dry!
And I have never heard such moaning and groaning when she bends over to pick something up. In fact, she stands there staring down at the object wondering if she REALLY needs it that bad...LOL
I am really tired of her poking me in the hip all the time! It has gotten to be very sore when I bend a certain way.

So the old lady has come to stay at my house in Florida for the winter it seems. Ya'll can have her over any time you want...really...I won't be insulted!!!!

Deb

On my 50th birthday, last year, I saw her come down the street.
I ran inside to get my scale, healthy snacks, exercise equipment, skinny jeans, Retin-A, vitamins and high heels.
As she started to come up my walk, I threw my scale at her, she tripped over my exercise equipment, slipped on my vitamins and healthy snacks, while I was wearing my skinny jeans and high heels, holding up my Retin-A like a cross to a vampire.
BRING IT ON - I don't think she will be back for a long time...Mom

Why does she bother to shout out to the Old Man on the other side of the house? Like HE can hear, or something?

I saw Her at the grocery store the other day as She was putting coins in her tiny coin purse. Then the person in line behind her told her She dropped some coins on the floor. When She bent over to pick the coins up She spilled the whole purse on the floor. Credit Cards, Panty Pads, Eye Glasses, and pills rolling everywhere. What a sight crawling around on the floor. Finally, some kind soul helped her get up or She'd still be there.

I was really embarrassed for Her. I bet She doesn't go back to that store again.

Gayle

Last night , the old woman decided to help me wrap presents
, She got down on the floor and after about a hour she said her fat A$$ was sore and she tryed to get up but just
was rolling around on the floor , my dog was looking at her like (YOU Got A Problem Lady!) Any way she finally got up walked in Kitchen and walked right into a cupboard door she left open, Her eye sight is really going , she is forever Kicking the dog , and them DH Yells at me for it ,
I tell you I think she needs to leave! oh Ya, she came back and went back to wrapping Presents and she forgot to
put a nametag on the last present she had wrapped so she had to open the
gift again to see who it was for , I tell ya I don't think she helped me any.

Who you callin fat A$$?

{{!gwi}}

Oh my gosh I am laughing...

The old hag went down to the basement to get some frozen peppers this morning. I told her to take those couple of tools you used back down too. She took the tools and the peppers are still in the freezer in the basement.
She hid my address labels too! I found them and she hid them right away again.
Kathy

She locked the keys in my car last night with it running and then lost the reciept for the gift she bought and the claim ticket...this morning she was cracking up laughing when she got it out of the Bass Pro Sack.....I looked in it last night and she had not put it there.....hag....STacy

She's dangerous to keep around. Yesterday, I put some chopped dates in a little pan on the stove. Then I went into the living room to look at the paper. While I was gone, she turned on the heat under the dates, without telling me. Well, the stink and smoke would drive anyone else out, but not her....she's looking around to see what other mischief she can get into.

What about this poor old lady. She was driving (thankfully in a small town) made a left turn at a interesection. The right front door was not latched and flew open Her open purse was on the seat and fell on the road all the contents spilling out . Cars stopped in all directions with nice young guys helping her retrive her lipstick, billfold, keys, or whatever she had in her purse.Crazy old woman could not remember to shut the car door.I was so embarressed for her.

She's pulling Christmas pranks here, too. Yesterday she wrapped some gifts for my DH. Today she hasn't a clue what's in some of them. *sigh*

She had the nerve to forget her MIL and sis's birthday...so she rushes out like a madwomen...gets two cards...sitting at the post office...SHE FORGETS both of their addresses...now she's only been mailing stuff to these women for the last 30 years and she decides to strike and forget addresses...but I told her to get outta my car and then proceded to help her out by sending two cards to wrong addresses, but the womens got their cards anyway thanks to a good postal person who knows where they REALLY live!!