You have reasons to be especially concerned about avoiding major issues, but they may be on their way to making major issues out of things that need not be. Molehills become mountains when we are stressed and exhausted. Take a few deep breaths and try to look realistically at what the current situation is and what you are certain to deal with in the near future and not everything that could possibly go wrong unless you don't want to buy ANY house. I would ask for the sealant to be applied and then schedule it to be checked and reapplied if needed. Asbestos is a problem if it becomes loose and airborne or "friable." If it is bound up in concrete, it doesn't sound friable as long as the cement is not breaking up or becoming powdery and having lived with cement slabs for most of my life, I just don't see it as inevitable that cement is going to start flaking and turn to powder. If it will give you peace of mind, ask them to apply the sealant or do it yourself if they say no. Grading and adjustments to landscape grading are both acts of nature and maintenance issues. It isn't practical to try to overcome nature, so you try to control what you can. And then there are different approaches to the same problems. You can DIY -- fill in the low lying areas with some new soil and let the grass fill in over them on it's own, create a rock bed or other drain path to give water ways to move away from the house. A bit of working in the yard can be good therapy -- or it wouldn't cost that much to get a yardman (as opposed to a landscaping company) to help you with some of these things. A French drain or other way to remove water against the house would be something most women wouldn't undertake on their own, but it doesn't sound like you need those if a 45 year old house doesn't have any damage issue. The other extreme is for a landscaping company to come in and spend thousands - even tens of thousands, removing everything, grading and replacing the plantings. You will still need to make adjustments down the road -- maybe more if the soil does more settling. Even homes with good drainage can have mosquito issues and there are any number of ways to address them. I've added a link below for a place I've purchased from to give you some ideas. The garlic oil really works too. I wouldn't expect the relo company to do much on these issues, and I wouldn't expect them to upgrade hoses that are not failing. That's one of those things a good agent here would remind you that (1) the washer and dryer are not usually sold with the home and if you are getting them it is a plus so take the plus and pay for the hoses, (2) most folks suggest you replace the hoses each time you move , so if you brought your own W&D you would be buying new hoses anyway and (3) you are asking for an upgrade when you are entitled to repairs. Relo companies are often adverse to doing anything they don't have to if there is a chance it could come back and bite them -- and they may see buyers who expect too much to be exactly the kind who will come back and bite them. Also, keep in mind that when they respond, you will have to decide to take the house with what they agree to -- even if it is nothing, or move on. They are more likely to negotiate the size of price adjustments for repairs than they are to change their minds on the yes or no factor. Good luck. Here is a link that might be useful: Mosquito control ideas

DC native here but living in MD. "Lived" in Chicago area (about 20mi from O'Hare) for almost a year. Boy do I miss Giordano's!! Also can't get good hot dogs here either. I never really liked them before my stay in Chicago. While WAITING, and WAITING in the airport terminal (infamous O'hare saga), I ordered a hot dog - not thinking it would come dressed to the nines, with lettuce and cucumbers - boy was it good. Every once in a while, ya just gotta have a hot dog. Also miss the shopping!!!

I once heard (I think it was in a song), that "Love is not a feeling, it's an act of the will". Being "in love" is an immature physical/emotional response that happens when you meet someone, and they give you the 'warm fuzzies'. LOVE, the stuff that keeps you going when your world is falling apart. It's what keeps a couple together when one has suffered a tragic dibilitating accident, or is facing rounds of chemo and radiation. It's what makes a person willing to make tremendous self sacrifices, in order to see that the person they love has what they need...the parent who skips meals to allow their hungry child to have extra when there isn't enough food (third world countries)...the person who risks their own life to protect someone who is persecuted (think of during the hollocost...the ones who risked their lives to save the jewish people who were being persecuted)...the man who works eighty hours a week, in order to pay his child support and still allow his new wife to keep her dream of staying home with the baby (THANK HUBBY!!). It's the mother who spends the night holding her sick child even though she has puke on her slippers and her legs are cramping from not being able to move (Thanks mom!). It's the man that spent twenty years twisting wrenches, to keep his family housed and fed, it's what kept that same man doing it, even when the arthritis set in or his knuckles bled from scraping them while fixing cars, or that time he grounded an electrical short in a motor through his wrist watch, welding it to his flesh. Gruesome but true. (Thanks dad...) LOVE is not a feeling. It's what's left after the honeymoon is over, the warm fuzzies have faded. After you've come to realize that that little thing he does really ISN'T cute. After he's come to realize that you (leave the dishes in the sink for three days at a time, stay on the computer until midnight, sometimes annoy the heck out of him...) It's being WILLING to look past the other persons faults and realizing that your life wouldn't be as fulfilling, as meaningful, if that person wasn't in it. It's making a choice, a decision, to do what makes THEM happy, even if it doesn't make you happy, because it will make THEIR life richer. Falling 'in love' is what brings people together, but it's making the choice to develope that into real LOVE, and then acting on that choice, that keeps them there. Maybe that's why so many people divorce. That fuzzy feeling fades and they decide they want out. Maybe I'm lucky. I grew up with both my parents, and they have both demonstrated real love, both for each other and for us, throughout our lives. The personal selfsacrifice for the betterment of others. It's funny, in a sad sort of way, but it seems to me that there would be a lot less people on here if there was more REAL love in our homes. When there is love, there isn't room for selfishness. These dads...who want to be a father to all of their children, not just the ones from their current relationship...that's love. They understand that fighting for access or custody could cause them financial ruin, and that it can make their adult relationships more difficult, especially if they don't have an understanding partner, but they are willing anyway, because they know that their childs life will not be as rich, as rewarding, as fulfilled, if they grow up without one of their parents. Any partner of a parent needs to understand that their partners life won't be as rich, as rewarding, as fulfilled, if they are denied the ability to parent their child. It shouldn't matter if it makes it harder for you, LOVE isn't about you. It's about him, or her, or them. You SHOULD love your children, and you can, because it IS a choice, an 'act of the will'. As a parent or step-parent you aren't called to LIKE your children all the time, heck, you aren't even called to like your SPOUSE all the time, but you are called to LOVE them. And you can...because it's a decision. Read "Words of Hope" by Bananarama...I'm pretty sure she didn't always like the kids, but she decided to LOVE them...and look, twenty years later that love is being returned in multiple, through both 'her' children and now grandchildren. Love is working through the hard times to get to the better...no matter how far off it seems. And the funny thing is...the more you give that type of love away, not worrying about your own wants, the more of it you give...the more it's returned. Trinkets and toys, money, a bigger house, a newer car, a life with someone who never challenges you to step outside your comfort zone, never asks you to become a better person, that maybe tidy, easy, comfortable, but it will never bring lasting happyness. Loving someone may not give you a 'tidy life', but it will give you a life worth living. My life with(out) step-children is hard, messy, ugly, stressful, draining...I can admit that...but at the same time, pouring my life, my very soul into those I love, my husband, my son, my stepkids, that is what makes my life ultimately fulfilling. When I am (hopefully) old, I would rather die, knowing that, with love, I have enriched the lives of those around me, than die, knowing that I lived only for myself, and left noone who will celebrate my life or mourn my death. They say the best way to love your children is to love their other parent. If you have a child of your own, with your current partner, but you are unwilling to love your partner in the way he needs and deserves (such as encouraging and supporting him in his desire to parent his other children) then in reality, by not showing love to your spouse, you are not loving your own child. It's something worth thinking about. Verena

lolauren, your law enforcement contacts said exactly what I was trying to say, and the term "false sense of security' is at the core of my message. My experience was such an eye-opener to me. Up until that time, as a young woman living in a city, I'd collected tips and techniques to be used in the event I found myself in a dire situation. I walked away from that horrible time thinking, "Yeah, none of that would have worked," That's when I came up with my polar bear analogy because I think it's a good visual for people. Just ask yourself how effective a particular technique would be against a polar bear, and that's probably close to the truth. I use the polar bear as my visual not only to depict strength but also because there was absolutely ZERO human connection between my assailant and me. Our eye-to-eye contact was like NOTHING I had ever, or have since, experienced. It wasn't actually like looking into the eyes of an animal, as my analogy suggests because I always see truth, empathy, a desire to understand, and to be understood when I look into the eyes of animals. It was more like a robot, I suppose, or an alien maybe. I have always found it difficult to describe, but I recognized instantly that it was something I'd never seen. My absolute takeaway was the realization that the only real defense is to prevent the situation. We cannot prevent every situation, of course. But we can prevent more than we think. A quick trip to the ATM at 9pm can probably be squeezed in on the way to work. Going out on a date with a fellow, even though we feel a 'little weird' about something, can be canceled. Etc. In this case, I do think the fact that the young man seems to have been warned off by the police is very good news. And it sounds like Lynn's daughter is staying vigilant, which is excellent.