Mellen, The box from you arrived today. Wow! I was thinking it was like Christmas morning as I pulled one thing after another out of the box. The only bad part is that I am almost certain that I was here when the mail was delivered (probably around 1:30 or 2 p.m.) and the postal worker did not let me know. They usually beep the horn so you can walk out and get the box. Around 7:30 p.m. I said to my husband that maybe we should check the front porch in case the box came and there it was! My husband was a dear and helped me get the plants either in the ground of in pots for the night. You sent me so many plants that I love, I just hope they settle in okay. I put some water on them even though it was almost dark at that point. Anyway, I can't possibly list it all - Mary Ellen sent a beautiful Christmas ornament decorated with fancy lace that I will certainly keep from year to year. I also got a candle, memo pad, journal, angel plant poke and squirrel pot hanger (these two are so cute!) With the journal, I decided I will try to keep myself a little better organized with my plants and will write it what I received and who it came from. I completely lose track of that. Mary Ellen also was a true treasure as a friend because she had already prepared plant markers with the plants' names to stick alongside them. That is so good. I usually rush to put them in a pot or the ground and think I will remember and do a label later and I don't get around to it and forget the name. (I know no one else does that! LOL) Anyway, as for the plants, I got: Sweet Potato Vine 'Marguerita' (I have two sweet potato vines but didn't have this one), a Polka Weigela - it is a shrub - couldn't believe it when this came out of the box! - a cigar plant, a Sum and Substance Hosta that I have wanted for a few years now, a heuchera 'Chatterbox', two daylilies - Heron, and Custard Candy, and a flowering maple (also called Abutilon - I have a different variety that I bought at the Botanical Gardens plant sale this spring and it bloomed all summer and I love it so I am really happy to have another!) Does anyone grow these? I am wondering how to get more (root or save seeds)? I also wonder if they are winter hardy in our weather. Guess I will do a little research. Anyway, I know I did not list some of it. Thanks so much Mary Ellen. I know you weren't feeling well and I don't know how you put all this effort into the box that you sent. Thank you so much! Sandlapper

Hi Ladies Just a quick note to Let you all know that so far today we have raised over $ 2000 . We are all On a very exciting High :)) as to how our 1st day of sales has gone :)) I'm so tired tonight but the day was so filled with so many good people :)) we had the trucker's on their CB's telling others of the food we had :)) . what a day & I can tell it is going to get better :)) To All Our June Bloomin Friends Birthday Gals I was happy to do it they were just small tokens & glad they arrived ok :)) Well I have to go lay back & unwind . will be back I hope tomorrow evening . My xmas box will be going out after the 4th . :))) Have a great night all . susie

Great thread. My family gave up giving gifts to each other some when we were in our 50s - we all have too much stuff, so we visit each other instead. But I recently married a man whose family is into expensive presents of clothing and jewelry and expensive technology. He, and they, have given me some beautiful things which are not to my taste and I will never use. Some I have been able to exchange - the problem is that I have too much as it is and am trying to have less, not more. So exchanging doesn't work for me. My husband has refused to pass on my suggestions of more practical gifts (like an outdoor compost bin). I am going to try telling my husband that every time he buys me a piece of clothing or jewelry I am going to have to give away something I already have. He knows I am down to what I really love. We are also about to combine households next month, which means paring down even further. Maybe that will make him change his view!

newhomebuilder, I guess we didn't understand completely -- but we didn't misunderstand completely, either. In your first post, you wrote "I thought it would be nice to include those that we will not be inviting (but would like to,) to come to one of the parties given for my daughter and her fiance." This time, you wrote "We would only invite extended friends to a cocktail party." Unfortunately, I think you still have the same problem, because it is still a party YOU are giving (or at least for which you are making up the guest list). Also, even though it's not A Shower, it's still a party given in honor of the bride and groom around the time of the wedding (I assume). People may still feel like they should bring a gift. And even if there is somehow no expectation or thought of gifts, it's still the B-list event. I do understand that in many communities, 350 isn't an unusual size for a wedding, and many people have large families that expect to be invited. But nowhere is 350 considered a private ceremony, either. 350 = 350 wherever you are. I think lowspark's is the best suggestion: "Now, if you wanted to host a party a few months AFTER the wedding, just to have friends over who missed the wedding and want to meet the bride & groom, I think that would be ok. However, I would just call it a party or get together without intimating any purpose related to the wedding or the couple." I wouldn't even limit the guest list for that party to those who weren't invited to the wedding. If your real purpose is to have all your friends meet the couple, that will do the job. It will not serve to "include" more people in the wedding festivities themselves, though, which is what you said you wanted. And I just don't think there is a way to "include" people without inviting them to the wedding itself. No one can do that for everyone they would like to have, and no one does. Yes, you're right, it's really hard, but you will make your guest list and move on. Those who aren't invited will understand -- they've been there, too. Listen, EVERYONE has the same hard problem! My son and his girlfriend aren't even engaged yet, and I'm already worrying about what we will do about the guest list. I have NO idea how we will manage it, but I am sure we'll figure it out when the time comes. And so will you! So although I'm sorry I cannot help you feel better about what you would love to do, I think in the long run you will be happier if you don't complicate things by trying somehow to include everyone. Lucky you to have so many dear people in your lives.