You might very well have been considered 'wrong' no matter what was decided by you or anyone else. There are just some folks who like to complain more than others.

If I didn't happen to agree with a choice that was made, I certainly would not be emailing anyone and causing them grief over it later. Why not just consider the 'source'?

What you chose as their option would have been perfectly fine with me. I would certainly have not expected everything to have been changed on my account. Was this all prior to the meeting? Would you have easily been able to get word to everyone that the dinner time had been changed? I wouldn't have liked it if I didn't know ahead of time, maybe having had a late breakfast, or snack or something.

Sue

I would accomodate them. Their travel plans are not flexible and the group gathering obviously means a lot to them or they would not come.
Sounds like a fun time!

Lori

If they had plane reservations already made - sounds like
they would have had time, in advance, to tell you their
plans.

Sounds like they just assumed everyone would go along
with what they wanted.

I don't think you were wrong either. I think they were,
for not telling you sooner.

I think what you did was fine...You can't expect everyone in the group to be put out because of two peeps...We have choices in life...they got to come and hopefully made their plane...Why inconvenience everyone?

Dotmom, I can understand their request because they wanted to remain part of the event but I think that it would have probably impacted the flow of the party. The way you had it set, with the business part first, then the exchange and then dine you are allowing folks to sit and visit as long as they care to. Having the meal first and then moving on to the exchange and or business meeting would put a more definitive end to the luncheon.

Had they approached you asking this in advance or did they show up at the luncheon and then ask to be accommodated? If the latter then I think you did exactly the right thing. If they asked well in advance then I would have tried to do something to included them.

I think you handled the situation correctly. The luncheon party should have been planned around what was convenient for the majority of people attending. There are always people that are never satisfied with events that others plan. My message for the complainers is...."you do the planning next year."

I'm not sure what the problem was. They asked to have their meal first and they did. They are upset because you didn't change it for everyone else in the room (who hadn't asked for a change)? Sounds like they only had time to eat and run - why should everyone else have been rushed?

You can't please them all...

I used to have a scout group....of 21 little girls. I didn't have anyone to help me the first year.

I always had someone who needed the plans to fit them...

I just told them I was doing my best...and if they wanted to take over the troop they were welcome to it.

Didn't say it snotty , just made it plain.

I think this was a lose-lose situation for you no matter what you decided. Darned if you do, darned if you don't.

How many people were at your luncheon? I would never dream of asking everyone to rearrange their plans to accomodate mine, especially after all the plans were made.

IF I had known this way in advance, MAYBE a change of the normal schedule would have worked, but frankly, I don't want lunch at 11:30, that's just too early for me. I'd rather get the stuff out of the way first and then have a leisurely lunch with no pressure.

To the people who complained- I'd let THEM take over trying to please everyone for the next meeting. See if they find it easy to accomodate everyone at once.

Maybe the one thing that could have been handled differently would have been that it be put up to the group to make the decision as to how it be handled, rather than you alone? Then, those that don't concur with the outcome know they were the minority (perhaps less gossiping behind the scenes that way?)

You went to a whole lot of work just planning the party. And believe me, I know how hard it can be and how much time you must have put into it.

That said, put my name on Flamey's post!

Thanks KT gang, for your input. It was a group of 32. For some of these seniors, this is their only Christmas festivities. I just didn't think their party should be rushed for one couple. And yes, they didn't make their request until they arrived that day. Maybe I';m looking at his wrong, but I have a problem with some people wanting to have it all. Being able to enjoy this party, AND being able to go on their way to their own plans. I guess I think life is about choices, and we can't do everything we want to do, Especially when other peoples plans are involved. Guess this is all water under the bridge, now. I learned a long time ago youcan't make everybody happy. Dottie

Dottie,
You were not wrong in any possible way that I can see!
IMO the couple asking you to change the pre scheduled group plans for them was so not right. Did They get their meal, exchange their gifts, hear the business and make their flight? Did they leave smiling? If all that happened Good for them and don't let the complainers worry you at all.
It would have been hard for any restaurant staff to accommodate a nearly two hr shift in an event of meal prep, cooking and serving staffing for a planned large party of people unless it was one of the buffet type places that feed the hoards all the time.
You just nicely let the complainers know if they can plan the next event if they reallly want to continue complaining.
Remember: You can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time but you will never please all of the people all of the time.

LIL

Dottie,
You did exactly right and were considerate of EVERYONE! Congratulations on making such a nice Christmas festivity for some who would have no other.
If you want to come to Texas we can make you the social secretary of a bunch of groups! Your senior group is lucky to have you.

At first I thought maybe you should have changed things, but after you said And yes, they didn't make their request until they arrived that day.
That changed my mind. The other people were expecting to eat later... no way would I have changed anything at the last minute like that. You did good.

I would never expect such a change to an event just for me/DH. Seems selfish if you ask me. You did right IMO. Someone is always going to complain.

You did the right thing! I don't "do" last minute changes (except maybe in an emergency) and if it'd been me..they probably wouldn't have gotten their meal! People that think it's all about them and expect everyone to accommodate them..turn my stomach!

I think the way you handled the situation was perfect. They threw you a curve ball at the 11th hour, literally. It wasn't just a matter of the members have their schedules rearranged, but the kitchen would have had to scramble. They knew they had X time before they had to have the meals on the table. You change that at the last minute and you create havoc for them.

Frankly, the couple got their meal, was able to share in the fellowship, and got to their plane on time. I would have counted that as a total success, myself.

Put my name on yarnlovers post.

Ron

Dottie, you made a totally reasonable change for one couple. Stick to your guns. Whenever theres a group, they need a "leader" to make plans like this, yet some people love to complain. Yarnlover said it perfectly, the couple gets to go to the restaurant, see everyone, get their meal , and make their plane on time. I think you did great.

You made the right decision. First, the restaurant could not be expected to serve a group of 32 earlier than the planned time. Second, some members may have been late and it would be terrible to come in and find everybody already eating.

My one hope is that you would not suggest to that couple that they "plan it next time." No need to be (using Patti's word) snotty. Your own dignity is more important than that.

Sue

You did the right thing and don't let this ruin your Christmas !!!!

You did the right thing not to change the plans for the whole group.

Had this been one of the pot luck lunches you could have put it to a vote for the whole group, maybe, but with a restaurant there is NO WAY.

The food would not be ready. The staff would be put out. And if the servers were serving another party or customers scheduled at that earlier time and have to now serve two parties at one time the other group or other customers would end up with subpar service which is not fair to them either. Lunchtime is the busiest time for a restaurant and you would not have made any friends with management by pulling a stunt like "we have a change in plans...serve us.........immediately.......NOW." In fact the restaurant would most likely refused the request to eat earlier anyway.

If anyone confronts you about your decision, just retort that it would have been impossible to eat earlier because the food was not cooked yet, and there were no waiters available to serve it earlier. It was out of your hands.

There is a saying in the restaurant business:

"You can rush the cook, but you can't rush the food."

In other words; baked potatoes are still going to take an hour in the oven no matter how much someone screams for them.

Who were these folks who sent the complaining e-mails?
Are they the kind of people who always complain about everything?

I think that what you did to make sure that couple got their meals early enough for them to make their plane sounds more than reasonable.

Oh! With the piece of information that . And yes, they didn't make their request until they arrived that day. ... I agree, that was no time to take a vote or even discuss it with the other gal who worked with you. They didn't just get their plane reservations that day, so they should have brought it up before the outing, if at all.

I think you did just the right thing. And how dare the couple of e-mailers who questioned your decision! Ignore them.

I could see ONLY two choices. One was what you did, get them served early. The other would be to ask if they'd brought their Tupperware so the meal could be boxed up for them to take on the plane! LOL

Ignore the negative comments. Some people have too much time on their hands. (Not moi, of course!)

I don't think you were wrong. You did serve their meal early like they wanted. Who's business is it that you did not rearrange the whole meeting. The two people did get served early so they could leave and catch the plane. Why did the crybabies email you? Why didn't they email the airline saying two passengers had a christmas party to attend so why not change the plane's schedule. I think you handled it right.

Being secretary of our seniors, until this year, I just take notes, but the Pres has been in this situation several times. I agree with you, when you have that many, with a short meeting, gifts etc, you do the best you can for the majority. Restaurants would prefer a larger group to either eat early or after 1pm due to the noon rush. I know our local cafe is that way. We are asked to please start eating around 11:30. Lots of service/dishes etc.
You did the best you could, and besides what does the pres/vice president do? In our organization, it is either the Pres or VP do the planning, that is their job, like I said, mine is only to take the notes etc.

LOL. Mariend...That is a problem. Our Prez is the nicest of guys, but (and please don't ever tell him I said this, cause I truly wouldn't want to hurt his feelings) He is not at all a take charge person. He has this office, just like I have mine, because no one else will do it. The only dif is, I really like mine, and do most of the business at our meetings because he asks me to do it. Our Vice=prez is a no-show at most of the meetings. Our Treasurer has had the job for 8-9 yrs. Robert....of Roberts rules of order, would really flip of he attended one of our so-called meetings. But some how it does work, and in January will be election of officers and like the past few years, the four of us will unanimously be voted to continue in our jobs.I do like the group and I like to be involved. This really is the nicest group of filks. Dottie

Seems like another case of entitlement. We're special...change it for everyone else. You did the right thing. Too bad for them if they didn't get their way.

I agree with lindakathy, you made the right choice. Next time maybe they will give you notice more ahead of time. I've known people like that, "everyone should go along with what I want" types, not considering others. They knew about the flight, why would they think you should rearrange the meeting?

Hey Dot, my DH's side of the family is huge. We spent the last two summers organizing several wedding & baby showers. On my small side of the family I threw many a shower by myself. On his side there are always several volunteers...making everything harder.

My point is that his side doesn't seem to get the idea that you pick a date, schedule or whatever and STICK TO IT.

Oh, the committees that be on that side of the family! When we picked a date certain girls couldn't make it because they had ball. Sucks doesn't it? When they signed up for ball they should have known they'd miss certain things or would be in the position to find a sub. Another person had a class. Sucks, doesn't it? If she felt strongly enough about wanting to go to the shower she should have skipped her class, not expect the other 25 people to adjust their schedule. Different scenarios, but same problem. Nobody is happy with the date or time. Sucks, doesn't it? I am done trying to hosr on his side of the family. Like I said, they don't understand the concept of picking a date and sticking to it. Not everything is a democracy.

So, to answer your question I think you were too nice to try to be accomodating. It comes back to bite you in the butt. Next time tell them, sorry you'll miss (because your other plans are more important.) We'll see you next month.

Why didn't they email the airline saying two passengers had a christmas party to attend so why not change the plane's schedule. Good point CB! Dottie.. email those complainers back and ask them if they did that. LOL

For the complainers, I'd ask them if they called the television networks and asked them to change their programming schedule because they'd be on the plane when their favorite programs are on. Or if they demand that stores change their hours to accommodate them. Maybe they could have demanded the plane wait for them???

You bent over backward to accommodate them. Shame on them for not appreciating your efforts! They're selfish, inconsiderate and rude. And that's their good points.

Take a deep breath Dottie dear, there's a lot of people like that in the world. The Grinch can't steal Christmas so don't let the selfish folks mess with the joy of the season. There's a storm-a-comin! Get ready! :)

And...that is one problem with e-mail...people don't hesitate to click "send" where they wouldn't have called you or talked to you about it in person...been there had have had that happen.

Had they emailed you five days ahead ... and if most of the members could be reached by email (or if you have telphone linkages so that one person only need call three), you could have canvassed the group to see how much enthusiasm/willingness there might have been to change the plans of all 30 ... and the restaurant would have had time to change their plans (which they might have been somewhat unwilling to do, were it to have involved, as some have suggested, feeding your crew right at their regular lunch hour, when they'd be run off of their feet).

As it was, having made their reservations at 2 in the morning a few hours before your meeting, then having slept in till just before time to leave for the party, so not having time to have phoned/emailed you to give you some lead time ...

... they expect everyone to jump through hoops to accomodate their plans.

Someone should suggest that they were lucky that the group didn't agree to have 30 people eat an hour or two earlier ...

... or some of the restaurant staff might have slipped a knife between their ribs!

(As it is ... someone(s) feel(s) entitled to slip one between yours).

Dad used to say, "Small potatoes ... and few in a hill".

As it is, I'm sort of glad that this is the most serious thing that you have to worry about just now.

Have yourself a lovely Christmas!

ole joyful

P.S. I don't think that I'd consider for a moment suggesting their taking over the party planner's task ...

... can you imagine the merry chase that they'd lead the group on, more than likely, were they to accept?

o j