I've been responsible for two doozies in the last couple of years. Both times I was trying to call my neighbor. I suppose it would help if I said "hello" and made small talk before I started saying things, but I'm more of a "stream of consciousness" conversationalist. The first of these was a couple summers ago at the height of Japanese Beetle season. I'd been out handpicking the buggers and drowning them in soapy water. I tried to rope the neighbor kids into helping me a la Tom Sawyer, and when that failed, I tried to make a game of it, "Let's have a contest to see who can drown the most Japanese Beetles! The rules are that I can only catch them in my garden, but you can catch them in your mom's garden and in mine!" The monkeys (my neighbor's pet name for her kids) didn't bite at that either, so I just went about my business with the beetles. The next day, I was pleasantly surprised to see a pile of dead beetles on my back patio. I assumed it was the kids next door, so I called to thank them. When their mom answered I said "Your monkeys have been busy!" "Pardon me?" "Your monkeys! They went on a killing spree over here! I have a whole stack of corpses on my back patio! I'm thrilled!" "Excuse me?" (long pause...) "I dialed 849-XXXX instead of 850-XXXX, didn't I!" (Our village (yes, we live in one too) only has two prefixes.) "Yes." "I'm so sorry! Nevermind what I said about the bodies!" When I hung up, it took me ten minutes to stop laughing enough to call my neighbor and tell her what I'd done. Recently I called her on inauguration day. She had worked on the campaign and I knew she'd be very emotional about it... but she'd have to keep it on the down-low because she was at her parents' house, and they are staunch Republicans. In an effort to give her an opportunity to let off a little happy steam, I decided to call her on her husband's cell phone. She answered and I said "So are you crying tears of joy?" and she said "Yes I am! It's been a great day! Who is this?" "It's Michelle." "Michelle who?" "Oh crap! Apparently, it's Michelle-the-total-stranger-who-can't-dial-numbers-correctly. I'm just calling to check in on your emotional well-being. I'm happy to hear you're having a great day!" When I finally hung up the phone, I realized I'd managed to chat for over three minutes with a total stranger. Neither of us mentioned why she was happy, which sort of made it even better, because for all I know, she had just received a promotion, or found out she was pregnant (or not!) or any of the millions of other things that can make a person beam with joy. It was a funny conversation that tickled me. And it tickled my neighbor too when I finally managed to dial her number correctly.

This was in the Milwaukee Sentinel today: Madison - The state Senate today unanimously voted to add cell phones to the state's "do not call" list and raise the maximum fine for violating that law from $100 to $1,000. The bill's sponsor, Sen. Jon Erpenbach (D-Middleton), said it would be the first major expansion of the "do not call" list maintained by the state Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection since it became law in January 2003. Last year, more than 1 million Wisconsin residential phone lines were covered by the list, Erpenbach added. Letting those with cell phones add them to the list and avoid telemarketers is a "popular public consumer service," and raising the maximum fine for each violation will deter telemarketers from ignoring the list, Erpenbach said. Erpenbach said he expects Republicans, who control the state Assembly, to also pass the measure before the Legislature's scheduled adjournment for the year in mid-March. Under state laws, telemarketers are charged fees that maintain the list.

Many grandparents are slow to get cell phones, or keep them turned off much of the time, because they fear they are running down the batteries. They may have a new cell phone number because they recently signed up for new phones or something. Many also do not believe in call waiting, and their land land can be tied up for hours (if they are anything like mine) and so it can be vital to have a second number to reach them on. If the bio mom is a caring mom, then what in the world are you thinking by not allowing her to have "ALL" numbers regarding her children. Even when kids go on playdates, you get home numbers, cell numbers etc. Even schools want home, work, all cell numbers, including those of nearest relative, AND up to three friends home numbers AND cell numbers. A mom and dad has EVERY right to have access to "all" phone numbers in connection to their children, unless something is wrong with them or something. And even if the kids have cell phones, many don't bother bringing them when they are just out with grandparents. Many also might have theirs turned off or charging. I know some kids who always have their cell phone, and others that rarely have theirs. Treat others as you want to be treated. If the kids were with her relatives, and your DH asked for the cell number, how would he like it if she and her new boyfriend refused to give it to him? Sounds pretty bad when you turn it around, doesn't it? Do the right thing. If she calls more then the grandparents are comfortable with, they can either say something, or not pick up until they are ready to talk. But she has the "right" to be able to reach her children, ...just as their dad does. Geez....

When I was about 4, my parents let me dial the 0 operator and ask for North Pole 123. The operator asked if I wanted to speak to Santa and said his lines were all busy. After I was asleep, my parents woke me up and said Santa was on the phone for me. I was so excited. Years later I learned they had called a friend of theirs whom I didn't know very well and asked him to play Santa on the phone.