My drug test screening
I go to a pain clinic for when my illness gets really bad, and since they prescribe me narcotics I get drug tested often. Earlier in the week I peed in a cup (almost impossible for those of us who shake so bad, but it was better than the catheter alternative!) and the preliminary tests they do while you are in the appointment showed I had methadone (yes, the stuff to help you off of heroin) and THC (pot) in my system. I told them I never did heroin, I am still deathly afraid of needles, and unless I didn't exhale in college I was sorry to say that was wrong too.
The final results came back negative, but Liza (my PA) and I had a good laugh.