I'm divorced, not widowed. IMO, what you are doing is right. You are still in the very early days of grieving and YOU will know when - or if - the time is right to remove your rings. My neighbor wears her husband's ring just as you are doing, & his passing was several years ago. Don't let anyone tell you "the time is right" or "why are still wearing the rings?" Do what YOU feel is right. There is no time table.

I think you should wear your rings, and his, as long as you want to. It's no one else's business.

I picked up an 1957 edition of Emily Post's Blue Book of Social Usage a few days ago. She addressed the very same issue. Wear your rings as long as they have meaning to you or you want to wear them.

She also said she understood how divorcées may want to "throw their rings into the ocean." (She herself divorced an errant husband in 1905 after 12 years of marriage.)

Enjoy your rings and the love and happy memories the hold.

For our 25th Anniversary, my first DH gave me a beautiful diamond wedding ring ... he died a couple of years later, and a month later, I switched this ring to my right hand and put my original rings away.
When I remarried, new DH had no problem with my keeping it on.
So, i wear both rings.

I stopped wearing my wedding ring before my husband died because it had gotten too small for me. I thought about getting another, but had other things to think about during his long illness.

I agree that you should do whatever feels right to you. One caution, though.....If and when you decide to remove the ring, please don't feel even one pang of guilt. It's just a symbol; taking it off does not mean you're removing your husband from your heart.

I'm not a widow, but my mom is. My day died a few years ago and I was with her when he died. She didn't know what to do at all, she was lost. I asked her what would you "like" to do, not what do you think you should do. She wanted to talk to her minister but it was midnight and I said ok let's call the minister. The minister came right over and was glad my mom called.

The point of my story is do what you want to do, not what you or someone or society says you should do. My mom wore her rings for about 18 months and just said one day that she felt it was time to take them off. You will know when (or perhaps never) it is time to take them off. It's only been 5 months. Don't worry about what others think or say. This decision rests with you.

I continued to wear mine for about 6 months, until I moved to Florida and started working in the yard a lot. Now, they are in a safe and will be passed on to my sons, to do whatever they want.

I never had one because I'm allergic to metal and Harry didn't want one. He did buy me an 18k chain and I was allergic to it, too. Bummer! I

My first DH and I just had plain gold bands. I saved them for my DD and gave them to her a few years ago.

I say wear them as long as you want.

My Dad died in 2003 and Mom died in 2010. When she passed she was still wearing her wedding rings. My DB took them off of her before they took her to the hospital. I wear them now, because I don't see Prince Charming "upping" the carat solitaire and I do wear the wedding band he gave me closest to my heart then the solitaire, then Mom's wedding band.

Keep them on as long as you want!!!! Wear them forever if you need too.

I wore my wedding ring until the day before I remarried.

I have put both rings - (my first husband's and mine) in a box with a beautiful letter that he wrote me when he gave me the ring. I have instructed my daughters to read that letter after I am gone.

My first ring was a plain gold band, I never removed it until that day. My second wedding ring is a band with small diamonds.

i also have a packet of letters from first husband, saved for my daughters to read. They will see a side of their father that they probably never knew.

I haven't worn my rings for about 20 years because they don't fit. Lately though I have been thinking about wearing them on a chain around my neck under my clothing. My husband passed away 12 weeks ago today. I gave his wedding band to my youngest son, who is getting married in December. It fit him and he will wear it. My husband never wore it because of the work he did so it is like new. I think you should wear your rings as long as you want to.

After my DH died, which was thirty years ago, I wore my rings, engagement and wedding, as long as I could; then my fingers were getting larger and arthritic, and I had to stop wearing them. When I look at my rings now I can't believe how small my hands were back then.

Several years ago, my DD gave me a Family birthstone ring, with stones for me, her DF, herself, and our son, her DB. I wore that on my left ring finger until about two years ago. Now it is getting to be so tight I don't know how much longer I'll be able to wear it.

I really feel odd with no rings on my finger, but I'll never get any others. They would have no meaning to me.

Wear your rings, Momrox. I would suggest that you make arrangements with a family member to remove them, before the lid is closed on your casket. My DF never wore a wedding ring. When my DM died, my sisters and I could not bear to remove her wedding ring. How wrong we were, and it still breaks my heart to think about it.

Sue

I am not a widow but my mom was. My mom was only 61 when my dad died and she continued to wear her rings until after she went into a nursing home. The nursing home strongly suggested she take her rings off so they would not be stolen. I put them in a safe deposit box. Now that I had my wedding ring made into a pendant (I am divorced), I wear my mom's rings on my right hand. They fit perfectly and I had them soldered together. It is a very personal decision how long a widow wears her rings. I forgot to say my mom lived to be 93 and was a widow longer than she was married.

My husband passed away three years ago and I still wear mine quite a bit. I can't see just putting them away. Once in a while though, I wear the diamond on my right hand without the ring guard. It is a personal decision. I am so sorry for your loss.

Wow! Emily Post was divorced -- way back in 1905! That that took my eye. When my parents divorced in the mid-1940's it was very unusual in 'polite society'. My DM eventually had her rings made into a 'cocktail ring'.

When I met the wife of a business associate of my DH, I noticed that she wore two wedding rings on her left hand. They had divorced and later remarried.

I suspect I will always wear my ring. I wore my diamond engagement ring five months. Before our wedding, we had a second band added to it, so it is all one piece. This is also the ring our first dog rescued from going down the laundry tub drain when I was washing him -- irreplaceable.

BTW, *never* wrap a piece of jewelry in Kleenex! I threw away a pair of pearl and diamond earrings while we were on a cruise. I was clearing up a vanity before going to dinner and tossed the Kleenex in the waste basket. I only realized my mistake after we returned to the cabin for bed. Fortunately, our steward was still able to find them. He earned a nice reward and thanks for his honesty.

A friend, recently widowed had the jeweler take her rings and her DH's and he designed her a "new" ring out of the 2. It is really beautiful!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been widowed for three years, and still wear both of our rings on my left hand. The bands are wide--mine fits almost entirely inside my late husband's. The rings look as if they're 'spooning.'

Wear your rings as long as you feel comfortable. We were married 32 years, and I doubt that I'll ever remove them. Big hugs to all of you.

As ChiSue said, never wrap jewelry in a tissue. My mom almost lost her wedding and engagement rings shortly after she was married. Wrapped them in a tissue, later threw the tissue in the trash. She found them before the trash was emptied.

We had been married almost 51 years. It has been nearly ten years and I still wear my rings. It is who I am. My choice. Had he died when I was much younger I might have stopped wearing them at some point. Do what you are comfortable with. Good luck and peace to you.

Thank you everyone for the thoughtful replies.

My mother was widowed when she was 68 and lived to almost 92, She never removed her rings and I let her be buried with the wedding band. I , of course, removed her diamond ring before the casket was closed. I should have taken the band too on second thought. It would have been a remembrance. I have not worn a wedding ring for decades. I hate wearing rings. When I go out to a function ,I put the band and the diamonds on. I wear hers too. Husband has always worn a ring. When he fell out of a tree and broke both arms they cut the ring off but he had it "fixed" and still wears it.

My husband died in June 2008. I still wear mine.

Momrox, I get the feeling you are trying to push through the grieving process, but please know it is a difficult period that just takes time and there is no rushing it. June was just a blink of time ago. I also get the feeling that wearing the rings comforts you, and that's wonderful. You wear those rings as long as you want, no need to stop at any time.

Momrox, I'm so sorry about your loss. Deepest condolences.

Susan

My mother's situation is almost like Linda's--widowed at 58, 93 now, and never removed her rings--no desire to do so. Momrox, I'm so sorry for your loss and hope you are finding comfort. If the rings are part of that comfort, leave them on!

My husband died when our daughters were 10, 12 and 14 and I had him buried with his wedding ring on, which later I was sorry I did, but you atren't thinking correctly at that time. I wore my wedding rings for many years and later gave them to my daughter who was the oldest. Unfortunately, she had a robbery at her house and they were stolen.

Now when one of our grandchildren is performing in some event I wear my husband's graduation ring so we have his presence with us. We just had our first great-granddaughter three months ago, Nora Ellen.

I was just thinking about all the wedding and engagement rings that have survived their owners. Has anyone's son or daughter used family rings -- as they are, or re-made? Our DIL's new (1999) diamond is in an old platinum setting I had.

An acquaintance wears her own modest rings and her mother's and her MIL's larger diamonds -- all together on her ring finger. She's been quite negative about both women. It kind of sets my teeth on edge.

I wear my Mom;s engagement ring all the time & her wedding band too. I wear Prince Charming's wedding band closest to my heart, then Mom's engagement ring(a carat solitaire) then her wedding band on my ring finger. I wear the other diamond ring that Dad gave her for their 40th anniversary on my right hand. never take them off except when I am putting on lotion or cleaning them..

My youngest son is going to use my husband's wedding band (as is) when he gets married next month. It fits perfectly and isn't worn looking at all. We were married 41 years before he died.

I wore my rings for about three years after my DH died. I stopped wearing them when I started to date again. I'm thinking o f having the diamond made into a pendant to wear around my neck. It's way too pretty to leave in a drawer.

Orchid -- But I bet you loved your DM! The woman I mentioned has often said how much she disliked both her own mother and her MIL, yet she wears their rings with something of an 'attitude'.

Hi MomRox ... who isn't in much of a mood to rock, these days, I expect,

I'm glad that you found the various advice here helpful.

Quite a few people suggest that folks who've lost a spouse take it easy for about a year, not making major decisions, e.g. sale of a family home, that may have lost a good portion of its appeal, while they are under such emotional pressure, as they may later regret it/them.

I also suggest that you choose your own path with regard to the wearing of your rings ... don't feel pressured to conform to others' view(s) of the way to run your life, especially with regard to things that relate to your recently departed loved one.

Have you felt a desire to talk to a counsellor, whether professional or faith-based? If so, have you found some person to fill that need well ... if not, keep looking, as such folk can offer useful support. I hope that you have some close friends who can offer similar support, as well.

Do you know if there are bereavement groups in your area? If not, ask around among people who deal with such issues, Many have found them helpful, possibly recently-organized ones, so that everyone is new and there hasn't developed a formation of some groups of special friends within it.

You'll find many friendly, perceptive, thoughtful and compassionate people here, many of whom, as you've found, have trod your current path before you, and, as you've found, they offer a wide variety of suggestions. And most are willing to leave you free to tread your path as you find agreeable.

Good wishes to you as you move through this process of grieving.

ole joyful

We gave our son the diamond ring that had belonged to my husband's grandmother and encouraged him to have it set in a modern setting for his girlfriend when he was planning to pop the question. She was thrilled that it is a family diamond with history. I think the simple setting he wanted for her was only $200. He wanted to surprise her, and he picked a ring setting that fit her preference perfectly.

I plan to leave my ring set to my daughter to be used by either one of her sons the day he decides he has found his future wife. One of the two of them might appreciate the free jewelry.

OJ, that was beautiful and brought a lump to my throat. You have a way with kind words.....

My mother gave dh my dad's ring and of course he still wears it. We had to have it sized down as dh weighed about 135 soaking wet, then sized back up as the years have passed.

My friend's mother carried her departed husband's glasses in her purse for quite awhile; I think that was a nice idea.

My husband died in August. I removed my rings because everytime I looked at them I get emotional. I need to let go of the past to start a new life.

I am not a widow, but a male. However, I did see grieving by my mother when dad died.

When the time is right to make a decision, you will know. There is no rush. but do keep the rings until you know for certain what you wish to do with those.

My advice is to not make any major property decisions right now, but wait for 6 months to a year.

My thoughts go with you in this trying time.

I have been widowed....twice. The first time, I wore the ring for about 4 years, then had the diamonds put into a "dinner ring" and wore it on my right hand. My second husband died about 18 months ago and I still wear my rings and wear his with a little guardian angel on a chain around my neck.

This diamond is far too expensive to leave around the house and I feel safer when it is on my hand. I have no plans to take it off and when I am done with it, I have willed it to my only grand-daughter.