Hello. My name is Caroline and I am a forum-a-holic. I don't spend long stretches of time on the computer (very often, LOL), but I do take all my "breaks" here and I check forums at least twice a day. I even use a time to keep myself on tract. I have a routine...check and answer emails (delete the silly "forwards" unread; they could steal my forum time, LOL), then I check the Home Decorating, Kitchens, Baths, Remodeling, and The Kitchen Table forums. Less often, I check the Cleaning, Cottage Gardens, Small House forums, too. We are currently remodeling two bedrooms (new closet configurations, new closet and entry doors, refinishing hardwood floors, installing baseboard, casings and crown, and paint all round), a bath (gutted), extending a linen closet (to hide a 24" square patch where the chimney use to be), and planning the new kitchen, sun porch, entryway, and livingroom. Yes, the Little House of Horrors is living up to its name. I've learned so much on the forums here. The forums, and all the kind, helpful, friendly people, have been such a blessing as we've tried to muddle our way through this "it's a fixer-upper" ordeal. My name is Caroline, and I am a forum-a-holic. But I could quit any time I want...yeah; right! Anytime I want to feel lost and alone and overwhelmed again!

Gellchom great post. If it was me, I'd probably put the wedding on hold until I knew for sure what was going on. Although it appears they have remained friends after the breakup, it's an uncomfortable situation for the bride. I don't see what the big deal is that she not go to the wedding either. Marriage is about give and take, compromise. This marriage doesn't appear to be starting off too well. The OP will always wonder about them, it's not going to go away. 4. She lives on the other side of the country. But my fiance had to spend about 1 month in her city for work, and would meet up with her a lot during this time. After he came back, he slipped up and called me by her name. That was probably the last straw that made me decide: I really don't like this girl. If it was me, I'd give him a week or 2 to decide who matters in his life. I would feel uncomfortable after that. Who knows if they reconnected, (not necessarily sex) and now wonder about their feelings for each other? Why is it so important she come? 5. To be fair, he doesn't talk with her much anymore, and he has cut back on talking with her a lot (compared to how much he did before we met) How do you know? Could he erase text messages? How about on the computer? IM? What about gaming? I'm not there (obviously) but from your post, I don't see how you 2 will be able to spend the rest of your lives together with her hanging over your relationship. Marriage is very hard and something like this makes it even harder.

Brandym I resent very much you saying I am blaming her for her illness. It is at my suggestion and her father spending thousands and thousands of dollars that she is now on the correct medication that is working- you must have missed that part. My point is that at some time she has to be responsible for her own financial situation-mental illness or not. I have people in my family who have had severe depression and my mother has been hospitalized several times with it. I do not pretend to understand what someone with bipolar disorder goes through and I have spent huge amounts of time trying to put myself in this girls shoes and to try to figure out what the best thing is that we can do for her. Her dad (whom I am marrying next spring) feels guilty about his divorce. He loves her dearly but will not continue to financially support her through college unless she holds up her end of the bargain- b's in school. I have encouraged him to hold her to some standards-defining what he expects from her and letting her know what support she can expect in return- so that everyone knows where they stand and there are as few suprises as possible. We do not put undue pressure on her to be a college grad-we would be thrilled if she chose any trade/job as long as it leads to her being productive and independent. She is the one who insists on getting a phd-thereby preventing her from getting a job with insurance- she has no sense that at age 25 most people are making own car payment,rent payment, paying for own car repairs,insurance etc. etc. We will always love her but will not always pay her way. No matter anyone's life situation they must figure out how to best deal with it in a self sufficient healthy manner. To me , that is the definition of growing up. Rosie and nadastimer thank you for your comments- I think every family has someone who goes through some version of this story.

Even though this is an urban legend, I have certainly heard of similar or even worse happening in real-life. I don't think the step-dad expected SD to love him more than dad. I think the step-dad just expected to be respected. I always see a lot of confusion with this issue. Just because you are a step and you want to be treated with respect and have your marriage treated with respect at a step-child's wedding, it doesn't mean that you are trying to take dad or mom's place or overstepping your bounds. At my step-daughter's wedding, all I wanted to do is hang out with my husband of many, many years, and basically got shot down and hung to boot! And, I'm pretty sure there were people there who thought that I was trying to one-up mom or something like that, just for trying to sit with my husband of 14-years. Like I always say, at no other event would it ever, ever be "acceptable" to break up a couple and act like they were never married, except for step-mom or step-dad at a wedding. Any steps are just supposed to sit there in the back row and drool and put up with the kick-me sign figuratively placed on their backs. Urban Legend or not, kudos to this guy for saying enough is enough.