Holiday Eating Tips - For The Sane I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. 1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, after all, have some standards. 10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.

"Buy to Cover" means you agree that you will purchase the stock at the current market price; however, because there is a lag between the time you agree to purchase the stock and the actual transaction, a price difference could occur. You could end up paying more than anticipated for each stock, or a lower amount per stock, which is what you are hoping for. I'd select the option of buying at market. The number of shares you can purchase is dependent on the amount of funding you have available in your Etrade account. If you have $125 available and a stock you're interested in costs $46.05 per share, you can buy 2.1744 shares or slightly less because of the Etrade fee. If the stock is priced at $3.50 a share, you can buy approx. 35.7144 shares. You might do well to fund up your account for a while, then in the meantime study up on stocks you have an interest in before making your first buy. Another good way to get your feet wet in the market is direct buy. Check your next electric/utility bill when it comes - the local power companies usually have a space right on the bill to buy their stock simply by sending in a minimum amount (usually $10). The need for energy isn't going to go away and most are diversifying into wind, etc.. Many of these energy stocks pay nice dividends - and you can opt for dividends to be reinvested to purchase additional stock shares to kind of painlessly bulk up your portfolio. Another nice thing is they don't charge fees. It's nice you're getting your feet wet with stocks reasonably and with discretionary funds. Taking a measured plunge won't make you "nuts" with all the yo-yoing. Whatever you do, save all the statements, confirmations, etc. back up computer files. Create a file folder, put them in a box - just don't discard. These buys will be your cost basis - and they will be needed. Maybe not today, but definitely someday.

There's usually major volatility around the market as it works through the bottom, so it would often be well to be making ongoing commitments periodically as one felt that the bottom was being developed. Not getting bent out of shape as the values went down again, figuring that, after while, there'd be recovery in quality companies, and the more commitments that one had made on a regular basis through a prolonged bottom, the larger would be the amount eligible for increased value as the market moved ahead again. But I'm not expecting a major move ahead soon, as I think that our difficulties are much deeper than in earlier recessions. If I'd suggested to you, five years ago, that there might be a possibility, in a few years, of GM being at risk of going bankrupt ... you'd have laughed me out of town! And it seems to me that a number of our problems aren't just cyclical ... they're structural: many of these disappearing jobs aren't going to reappear later ... at least, not in our portion of the global economy. Although several here disagree with me, my feeling is that I'd like to get the debt on the house paid off - to be out of debt. But I'd want to have a substantial cushion available in case of emergency, especially in these times of major economic uncertainty, with so many layoffs taking place. Having lived in 22 locations during my 80 years, I've never owned a home, so never had a mortgage. That said - I frequently lack that emergency fund, myself, of 3 - 6 - 9 months' or a year's income in case of major immediate emergency. But I have a credit card, which I almost always pay off in full prior to due date, and a Line of Credit at the bank, fully secured by stocks and mutual funds, which I can draw on to pay off that emergency loan that I'd put on the card. The Line of Credit bore no initiation fee, and there's none for inactivity, either. Would your lender be willing to offer you a Line of Credit, using stock or mutual funds' certificates (could be part of your emergency fund, if you know for sure that your lender will give you an LoC) along with using the equity in your house, while you still had a substantial amount owing on your mortgage? I don't like to borrow for consumption purposes, but I may borrow to invest in quality assets (whatever they may be!), as I have something of ongoing value to show to offset the loan that I owe. If I do borrow for consumption, I want that on a different LoC, as interest on investment loans is deductible ... that for consumption purposes usually is not. Good wishes for making a decision which will please you on an ongoing basis as you choose which path to follow. ole joyful

The idea, as I understand it, is to become smarter as the years go by. When I was a kid, we always had a car (including a couple built by companies that went out of business later: "Star"? "Willys-Knight"?) but some people went around in horse-drawn buggies. Do you still go around in a buggy? To invest one's assets only in guaranteed-dollar assets reduces risk, yes ... ... over the short term. But over the longer period, especially in the current low-interest rate environment, interest-earners get slaughtered. In the personal money management business in which each of us participates, most of us except very low earners have a partner whether we like it or not. Every year, that partner has a question, and a statement, for each of us who earn more than a minimal amount ... ... "How much did you earn?" and "We want part of it". The income tax people are required partners in our personal money-management business. Another way of looking at it is that there are two rats that eat your cheese. Except for very low income earners, the income tax people want part of our annual earnings. But that's not the only problem - there's the other rat's depradations. That rat eats the value of part of our assets, each year. If you put $10,000. into the bank 15 years ago, they'd pay you rent on the money each year - that's taxable that year. But that's not the only eroder of value that you face. Since the depression of the 1930s, the value of each of those saved (but many of us say, not invested) dollars shrinks every year that it's used in such a fashion. If you put that $10,000. into a bank 15 years ago, it would have bought a nice new car ... but, in the ordinary course of things, if you took it out now, it wouldn't: it'd buy a lot less, due to inflation.So those who earn interest must add part of the annual earnings to the principal in order to maintain purchasing power. The owner of the money gets what's left .. and never forget ... the rats eat first! Forty-two years ago I used about $4.20 to buy a share of a Canadian bank and they paid me a dividend (taxed, in Canada, a lot lower than interest earnings) of about a dime or 12 cents a year. Over the years, the value of the shares grew. Despite their having had some involvement with the Enron crisis, a few years ago, even so, had I sold those shares in June 2007 they were "worth" (whatever that means) $107. And, as the value of the stock grew, the dividend rates did, as well - to $3.08 per year in mid-2007 - on that original investment of $4.20 or so. In the fall of 2007 they increased it to $3.48 (which increase was, please note, almost 10% of the originally invested amount). That bank was also involved doubly, so I hear, in the U.S. stinky mortgage fiasco, as they had direct exposure, and backed a company that insured those mortgages! So the value of the stock fell - through the 90s, 80s, 70s and 60s, over a period of months. Eventually it got down to around the low 40s, last Nov. ... but still paying that dividend of $3.48 annually, over 9% - as, noted above, low tax rate, and even lower due to recent changes in calculation rate. Could you have found a GIC that would, after 40 years, produce an annual rate of return of over 75% of the originally invested amount?? My grandpa bought a 250-acre farm near an Ontario village in 1917 - sorry, I don't know how much he paid. Dad took it over shortly after his marriage in 1925. Mom got sick in '34, Grandpa died in '35, Mom died in '42. Dad had trouble breathing in this part of the country so moved to farm on the Prairies in '46, I left home in '48. Dad sold the Ontario farm in 1947 - for $15,000.: our family had owned it for 30 years. The family who bought it later agreed with hydro for an easement to install some electric towers on the land, later sold about 50 acres to the province when they built a multi-lane divided expressway through the area (largely to assist the large trading business back and forth between Canada and the U.S.). They sold the remaining 200 acres in 2007, after owning it exactly 60 years ... for about $2.4 million. That's in addition to it having provided an income for a family of about 6 - 8 kids for several years, then for two families for several years, later for the family of one son. Would they have done better to have "invested" that money in the bank? Many of us say that "owning" is better than "loaning" (and the bank makes more on our money than does the owner). End of rant. ole joyful