I hope she gets the care she needs. It's very scary as a parent to hear these stories. Even if your kid isn't on the social media, the other kids are and "talking" behind her back and she knows something is going on. Schools need to stiffen the penalties for cyber-bullying as much as physical bullying - I don't know, maybe the state has to get involved, if it takes charging kids with a misdemeanor, or issuing restraining orders to prevent driving another kid to suicide then that's what it takes! DS is 15, has always been a thoughtful, sensitive, private kid with a few close friends, not into the "popular" activities but seems to be happy, is definitely busy with Scouts, track, and church. I don't know what other kids may be saying about him, but at least he doesn't know either - or doesn't care. He is going to camp counselor training in a few weeks, and then to National Youth Leadership training for Scouts, hopefully next summer he will get a job at the Scout camp. OK, I'm bragging I guess but I think he's a good role model, and I *think* he's not at risk for depression. DD is 5 years younger and starting puberty - she has 2 very close friends, and watching others coming up to her after school concert she seems to be "popular" but again doesn't have the same interests as many her age (she's also almost a year older than everyone else in her grade, both kids are Nov birthdays and we decided to start DD later than DS since he had been in daycare/preschool and was an early reader, she was a late talker/potty trainer). She's more sensitive to peer pressure - I suppose girls usually are? I wouldn't pull her out to HS unless I thought there was a serious problem, I want to wait to see if she keeps/makes friends in middle school. I hope that keeping her in Scouts will help - if the leaders can keep a group of girls aware of the problems that bullying can cause, and keep them believing in their own value in spite of other people (peers, even some siblings and parents I know of) telling them otherwise. Girl Scouts just doesn't seem to be as organized as Boy Scouts though, and not too many girls seem to keep up with it through middle and high school, from what I can tell by the size of the troops in our town. But "mean girls" start early - DD ran into one her first day of kindergarten. Add a mean teacher, and in 1st grade she was begging me to HS her! At least 2nd - 4th she has regained her love of school, is actually disappointed to have only a few days left this year.

hi Springer mom, sounds like you have a lot of heavy things going on in your life. Adding my good thoughts and prayers to the other KTers for all of the members of your family and for you too. Dottie

Oh how terrible for this to happen so close to the holidays. Please let us know when they find the kitty. She's fortunate to have you helping them out. They'll be in my prayers.

I think all of us that have been brave enough to post our plans here have felt like they are ripped apart and the statement that there are no good redeming qualities is said quite frquently. Based on this I hypothesize that close to 90% of the houses in the town I live in would ever meet the standards set here. That being said I did get some good ideas that we incorporated (and we used an architect that apparently shouldn't be allowed to practice based on what he designed for us). I found the kitchen forums to be a much more helpful bunch, they give lots of great ideas and help without making you feel like your entire plan is horrific. Frankly, I am so THRILLED that my plan and especially my early elevations were ripped apart. It is because they were ripped apart over and over again, that I will be building a much better, more well designed house. I would much rather live in a well designed house that meets mine and DH's needs and looks like it belongs in the neighborhood, than something that was just so so. After all, if I'm spending 6 or 7 figures for a custom built house, shouldn't I get the best house I can possibly get for our needs? My advice is to listen with an open mind. Yes it's hard at times. I remember several nights where I repeated the same thing over and over (the fact that because of my lot, my house size downstairs was limited) but the good folks here, still wanted to try and figure out how to give me more space. :) Or when they basically bashed an idea of mine (can we say entry laundry?), I felt extreme frustration. However, even what seemed like a silly idea or an undoable idea, sometimes sparked a workable idea that helped improve my house. And I would absolutely listen to the architects on this forum. Without their extensive knowledge, my craftsman house would have looked like a mashup of every applied craftsman gee gaw without having any cohesiveness.