Mme. Hardy? It's gorgeous, whatever it is. I was tempted to say Boule de Neige except that the dates are wrong.

wow I learned something from this thread! I love learning new things LOL from the link listed above: "Although a nut in the culinary sense, in the botanical sense the nut of the cashew is a seed. The seed is surrounded by a double shell containing an allergenic phenolic resin, anacardic acid, a potent skin irritant chemically related to the more well known allergenic oil urushiol which is also a toxin found in the related poison ivy. Properly roasting cashews destroys the toxin, however it must be done outdoors as the smoke (not unlike that from burning poison ivy) contains urushiol droplets which can cause severe, sometimes life-threatening reactions by irritating the lungs. People who are allergic to cashew urushiols may also react to mango or pistachio which are also in the Anacardiaceae family. Some people are allergic to cashew nuts, but cashews are a less frequent allergen than nuts or peanuts"

Really, Rita? Welcome home. patti is closest with a flower petal. It's a dried oriental poppy petal. Although it does look a lot like the laugh lines around my eyes. Thanks for playing. Ron

I used to think "family" was so important. As I aged I soon found out that "family" means nothing - it's your friends that count. Ideally, your family will be your best friends but often they can be your worst enemies (as I found out the hard way). This gives two choices, agonize over it and destroy yourself, or as I did, gather yourself together and realize "family" is a term of little or no intrinsic importance, concentrate on your friends including family friends and take deep breaths often. Coach yourself. How to deal with it? Well, have you coped with a death of close friend or family member? It's virtually the same thing. It's the death of a relationship. Accept that it's dead, remember the good times and you'll be able to move on. I accepted that someone else killed (murdered) my relationship with my father. I did not do it. By putting it in proper perspective helps coping with the situation. Not unlike a death, there's times it'll bother you, but it gets better and you move on unless you choose to keep it on yourself, drag yourself down and abuse yourself. Don't do that. It's not worth it. Sometimes you need to lose friends when they're bad for you. Sometimes our pretty skin becomes a festering boil. Do you continue to keep it because you've always had it or do you lance it, accept the short-term pain and move on. Why should ones who are technically "family" be treated differently than friends? A song lyric that means a lot to me is from Caledonia: I have moved and I kept on moving Proved the points that I needed proving Lost the friends that I needed losing Found others on the way Since the debacle I endured, I've found myself closer to some family members than ever before and I value that. Life is too short for toxic relationships. Nobody has the right to poison my life - only I have that right and I choose to not so do. There's enough others who want to make me feel bad, I don't need to help them do it. Now, there's some other things else that should be said. There's no perfect parent. Anyone who thinks they are have probably got their own problems. Accept that you could have made some mistakes but did those mistakes damage her that badly? I think not. For the sake of argument, let's say feeding her junk food, poor upbringing and depriving her of things hurt her. OK, she can throw a tantrum but by the time you hit 18-22 there's a thing called "personal responsibility"! By then, the parents obligations decrease dramatically. Even if she was fed poorly, raised poorly beforehand (and I'm not saying she way, again, in arguendo) it's time for HER to eat healthy, live a better lifestyle, grow up and be an adult. Adults need to accept their responsibility - not blame everyone else. Assign responsibility if appropriate then deal with it like an adult! She's long past the point where she can blame junk food as a kid or a perceived poor parent for her current life. My biggest concern is not for her, but for her kids. I don't know if she's got a husband or not but there's some responsibility there too if so, and shows yet another lack of maturity and responsibility. Lastly, this business of it's a dirty little family secret. BALONEY! It's a situation in life. Period. Don't try to hide it. Let it be known. I'm not saying attack her, but if someone asks who cares about you, why shouldn't they know that someone is trying to hurt you? I state facts, as unbiased and documented as possible and let people make up their minds. I tell them I have phone calls recorded if they don't believe me they can hear them and everything is stated calmly. I refuse to let them get me excited. Nope you're not going to raise my blood pressure (that much anyway). Someone who cares about you should know what's being done to you. I refuse to cover up the source of my family issue and when someone brings it up, yes I'll tell them my side of it. It's amazing how many people don't get both versions and what *should* they then think? I have stories on this too but this is long enough. My point is that if you try to hide this, cover up for her and think it's a "secret" you're only going to hurt yourself even more. I made that mistake for years. I learned my lesson. I hope you learn from my past mistakes. Now one other suggestion. Go out and do something special for yourself today. I don't care whether you and hubby go out for an enjoyable meal, take a walk by yourself, buy or pick yourself a flower, read a book you've been wanting to read, go to the library, a museum or call an old friend and rekindle a past relationship. Just reward yourself and do something kind for yourself for doing what is right and taking this like you have. Don't be afraid to do something nice for yourself on occasion. You deserve it.