LOLOL. Boy, what a thread! I have an iron gut, and I can't think of too many experiences where it turned me off on food, but my husband the butcher (who'd have thunk?) is just the opposite. If anything offends him in the food catagory, then you may as well throw it off the menu forever. I have, for years, put dry staples like flour products in the freezer first to kill pantry moth larvae and then in an airtight container. Those little pests often just come in products you buy, even when they are sealed. Living rural, I have become very diligent in "demousing" my house because the field mouse invasion comes twice a year with great regularity. Bleach is your friend, lol. So are housecats! The weirdest wildlife in my kitchen? Beat this, I dare you. A baby chimney swift in my linen drawer. They must've fallen from their nest in the kitchen fireplace, worked their way through some bad brickwork and into the cabinet in the inglenook. About a hundred tiny frog or toads one time by the back door. I can only think they hatched in water somewhere near the foundation of the house and made their entrance into my kitchen through the walls. There were so many of them, I had to carefully brush them up into dustpans to release them. Snakes. Ring neck, and rat snakes. One baby I found was only inches long and I mistook him for an earthworm. I place it tenderly outside in my fern garden. The occasional bat and God knows how they get in. Several shrews. Brown thrashers. And the most bizarre, a duck in the living room hearth. LOL.

Sounds familiar. :( Minus the other woman though. He says that it's him but it doesn't understand what's wrong....he's depressed. An early sign of a mid life crisis. Believe me my ex did basically the same thing and after a few months of being on his own he started realizing what he had and had given up. I didn't fight for him and I do regret that now because I did really love him. It's too late for us. I can't live my life wondering every day "is this the day that he tells me again that he doesn't love me anymore". If you love him then fight for him. Give him a book about mid life crisis, especially one that details the depression and "lost" feel. My ex husband actually called several times to tell me about how he took all my good qualities for granted....at the time those same qualities were what made me "boring". He probably will completely dismiss the idea of a mid life crisis but that is exactly what he's going thru. Good luck!

I was the one who didn't want kids, but here I am, w/ three little boys of my own. Dh wanted kids - has three grown that he had w/ the wrong woman; I raised my 3 Dear Nephews largely. Anyway, he wanted me more than more kids, I guess, and we wed - I was 33, he was 52. On our third anniversary, we brought home DS #1 - a second followed two years later and an unasked for blessing appeared 2 mos. after I turned 40. My point is that he may change his mind. For me, it was a change when I turned 35 and I saw the damage done to my skids by their BM, and I faced difficulties w/ my DNs as I was not the parent - paid for everything, but wasn't the parent and my hands were tied. My DNs opened up that unconditional love that kids do in a person, and as I got on in age, began to realize that I did want children in my future. Your age isn't on your side, but you've several good years left, so don't panic just yet. Anyway, if you really want a child, then there is a plan for you. This thing called motherhood is a selfless journey, but we need more women called to it rather than doing it for the wrong reasons. Do a little soul searching during this time alone. If you feel compelled to have a baby on your own, then do it. There may be a bigger, better plan for you right around the corner - someone waiting w/ your ideas, etc. Open yourself up to that. Frankly, I'd gladly go it alone rather than be w/ someone who didn't want what was so important to me. And, you are absolutely correct: you WOULD resent him in the future, no doubt. I applaud your courage for ending it rather than trapping this man or settling. For me, having the stepkids would never, ever be able to come close to having my own kids, though we didn't have a great start. My DNs, however, 100% could have fulfilled my motherly instincts. My skids were teens when we married and I came on the scene when my DNs were quite young, so maybe that's part of it. But...those newborn days are just priceless. That baby will be the only thing or person you will ever gladly lay down your life for before ever setting your eyes on him/her... All the best, Dana

Rosie: When I was growing up, my mother made me clean my room, help with the cooking, clean the kitchen after dinner and other miscellaneous chores (my mother didn't work). I did not however, mow the grass, scrub the floors, do the grocery shopping, wash the families (6 of us) laundry, help the others with their homework, pay the bills, plant the garden (although I did help weed and pick the vegetables), maintanin the cars and other household appliances. My mother worked very hard at home raising 4 kids while my father worked 12 hours, 7 days a week at Fords to provide for the family. I also went to school and got very good grades, participated in the band and played softball in the summer. At the time, I thought she was the meanest mother in the world, but when I got married at 20, I found out that I had no problem keeping a house, working full time, going to school at night and eventually having children. I was capable of doing all this because my mother prepared me for adulthood. I am very gratefully for that now. Take my stepdaughter for example. I entered her life when she was 15 (she is now 18). She lived with her mother for a few months in the beginning, but decided she preferred to live with her dad and I (and my boys)full time. She did not assist me in any way with anything to do with the house, but was very demanding about being driven here and there and asking for money as if it grew on trees. I asked for her help ie: taking her own dishes off the table and putting them in the dishwasher, etc, and she said she shouldn't have to do that because her mother made her do those things when she was 4 years old. This seemed to be a common excuse which her father and grandmother (who lived with them for 4 years) says did not happen. I didn't want to be a b**chy stepmother , so I didn't press the issue. She was getting good grades in school and was a cheerleader so I figured her time was better spent on those activities. Big mistake!!! She is now 18 and can't even make it out of bed for a 10:00 class at college. She has been late for work many times because she "just slept in" (I can't believe they haven't fired her). Her claim now is that she is 18 and is legally an adult and we cannot ask her to do anything. She began college in September and has now dropped out because she cannot balance, work (20 hrs wk), school 4 classes and socializing with her friends. She demands to be treated like an adult,but was never made to accept any responsibility, so she doesn't know how to act like an adult. I firmly believe that if she had been made to be a part of the family and take responsibility for helping in the running of the household, she would be better prepared for "adulthood". So now we have a disrespectful, inconsiderate, lazy 18 year old in our house that causes a terrible disruption to the rest of the family. How am I supposed to teach my boys how to be proper, respectful, considerate young men when they have an example just the opposite in the household? We have now thrown away $2500.00 in college tuition (which we can't afford) and she has forfeited a $2500.00 MEAP scholarship. What a waste!!! But let's not forget, she has lots of time to socialize with her friends now!!!!! That is really going to get her far in life. Kids need to know that life is not easy and having them help around the house is not going to cause them any harm.