Forgive me if my message is a little disjointed, I just lost my second baby and had to have another D&C and am not quite "with it" yet. I know someone who refused to do the HRT thing because of concerns over the risks of it, and I seem to recall her mentioning the cream form of progesterone. She recommended it to me to help w/ ovulation and it really worked, and she told me that she had used it too, but I think it was during menopause that she used it. (The dr had given me the pill form of artificial Progesterone to help my body ovulate and I hated the very harsh side effects. The natural form cream had none of those side effects, was very easy to use, and the container was still not empty after the few months I used it. My first D&C seemed to jump-start regulating my ovulation,making the cream unnecessary.) (I am unsure of what one needs to replace during menopause so I apologize in advance if I misunderstood what she was telling me and progesterone is not needed then.) I paid a hefty price at a health store for the cream but recently saw it at a WalMart in the vitamin section. I didn't look at it closely so I don't know if the quality was the same as what I had used or not. The same woman recommended the book "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause" by Dr. John Lee. (Yes, I wrote that down; you never know when info like that may come in handy for someone. Case in point--this message!) Hope this is of some help.

You are not alone. As others have said, I think the first step is accepting that your house is never going to look like a sit-com, TV, Ozzie and Harriet, Cosby and family home. In real homes the floor has to be mopped over and over again. You have to take off the kids clothes and wash them, ( wash the kids and the clothes ) and then put them away and wash the bath tub. I used to live in fear that someone would come over and see my mountain of clothes on the sofa. We practiced stashing things away in 2 minutes or less, I used to think that was abnormal. It not, thatÂs why most do not want others to drop by with calling first. I am feeling you sister. I was traumatized the day my dear sister-in law told me she was in the process of cleaning under her refrigerator. How do you factor that task in? I would rather be doing, well almost anything else, but housework. The whole subject of cleaning makes me hungry. For me the first real step in dealing with the whole thing was reading these posts. You see, you are not alone. The second is following the good advice from Tally- Sue and all the others who have been there too. The third is accepting that, like brushing your teeth, it just bugs you until you deal with it and afterward you can forget about. I sometimes get up real earlier in the morning just to clean and listen to a movie. Even if I spend the time on the forum at least my day starts earlier and the work does get done, eventually. For me the real big change came, when I started replacing all the old things that I could never could get clean. When I felt the pressure from DH to do more, or to switch my concentration to some dismal task, I started throwing things out. I mean I went crazy and decided, I was not going to deal with the un-removable 15 minute scrub down of my toilet anymore so I threw the toilet out,( and got a new one )I did the same with the nasty uncleanable toaster and the smelly old microwave, then the wall to wall carpet. I only have things around me that I really love and are new and crisp. So when I spend time cleaning it looks clean. I want to keep things looking clean. Instead of bringing the mountain of clothes upstairs I leave it in the basement. I clean between commercial breaks now. When I get that creepy feeling that DH thinks I wasted my day doing "nothing" I leave the kids with him for a few hours and go to the library. Ususally when I get back, he "gets its". I hope you continue to enjoy your garden and your kids, and I hope you keep us posted on your plan of attack!

It was NOPSI when I lived in New Oreleans, and in rental shotgun houses...NOPSI claimed a large part of my paychecks! New Orleans has a lot of Energy Raters, the highest concentration in the state actually. Entergy has made use of some of these raters in their efficiency program Energy Smart. here are a couple of links for you to check out: http://www.energysmartnola.info/one-stop-shop/ http://www.energysmartnola.info/for-your-home/ not being in that area anymore, I don't know how this program works..but you can find out if you are interested. my only advice would be to involve yourself with an experienced rater there in N.O. someone with experience in old homes...the newer raters I met may have the training... but couldn't tell gas from electric heat systems, or know how to identify balloon framing. so look for someone who has 10+ years of experience. La. DNR also has list of energy raters state wide, their efficiency incentive program isn't still in effect...but last time I checked the list of active raters was still online. DNR(dept natural resources) provided the training for all of us back in 1999. so they have a good handle on who knows their stuff...and who doesn't. it is hard to see detail in your posted plans. so I'll keep my questions fairly general. my first two concerns are air sealing & hvac system. I know you have a partial ' basement' (LOL) are electrical & plumbing exposed? was there ever a central hvac system installed? if basement isn't full size of house...what access is there to the part of the house without basement? how much room is there between ground & house? 3'...4'....more? is house all electric or is natural gas provided? as to heating...do you have a prefrence? if all electric..then look research heat pumps...great wintertime savings in our area. (I'm south central La these days) have you looked at mini split units? condenser unit outside, individual air handler units that hang on walls in rooms. I can't tell if your layout would work for this or not. is there a space in your home you could make into heating system closet? have you had any hvac companies come out to look at the house yet? involving hvac company never starts too early. it may be that ductwork will need to be installed during the reno. if you can't give up the sq ft for system inside house...I've seen people put the heating system in the 'basement'. quite a few flooded after katrina, but its not an everyday occurrence, and depending upon what part of town your house is located in...flooding is something to consider. I know uptown floods in a hearbeat with heavy rains...but areas like bywater stay dry. the top floor...full attic or are there walls of the living space that are shared with attic space? is attic space large enough to house heating system? air sealing.. there are really two ways to air seal. caulk, backer rods & more caulk which can be diy..or foam insulation. one is inexpensive & time consuming...the other expensive & fast. foam insulating the roofline will be biggest bang for the buck. then putting heat system & ductwork in attic keeps it in a semi conditioned space, so that you don't have ducts to cool the house in a 140 degree attic. by moving air & thermal barriers to roofline, a lot of the air leakage sites in ceilings are depressurized, so that house isn't sucking hot dirty humid attic air into the house to clean, dehumidify & condition when central unit is running. as most of our heat gain/cooling loss is through the ceiling into the attic space creating a tight air barrier, and thermal barrier (insulation) is very important. we use open cell in the attic roofline, depth to equal R-value required ( R-25 for cathedral for example is 6- 6.5" deep) also if house is balloon framed, foam seal at eaves to attic floor will stop air movement in walls. we need to air seal our walls...but insulating walls here isn't high on our list of things to do. foam in walls...is a huge waste of money. the next place for foam is under the floors. here we use closed cell. to keep moisture from ground from being sucked into the house. 2-3" is sufficient. this will also seal bottom of balloon framed walls. I've had issue with some of the foam insulators in N.O., because I am one picky b!tch. unlike most energy raters I oversee install of foam and test for air leakage with foam co on site, so that they can catch any leakage sites then without an added trip. as these companies expand into my area...they don't stay long. over the years I've learned which companies will actually create air tight seals...and who doesn't. and fyi...it isn't always the big companies that do it right. owner/installer companies are more willing to learn how to do it right. and the install of foam, just like the install of the hvac system is the key to the whole thing. ok...there are your questions to answer & things to think about for today. I'll check back after you reply. and think about investing in a blower door test of the house at minimum. this will identify leakage sites that need to be sealed. if you have ductwork, spring for the duct test also. better to know what you have to start with..what you need to do... and have it tested when completed. this way you have a goal to work towards...and an idea of how to do it. best of luck

It's normal to feel sad, depressed, blue, etc when you realize that something for which you had high hopes isn't what you thought it would be & that it's time to move on. A grown married man should be planning a vacation for him & his wife to enjoy, with a little excursion to visit other family members for a couple of days. (wonder if son didn't change his day off because he'd prefer his dad not spend the whole week there?) This guy is too old for inexperience to be an excuse; this is the way he is. Cut bait & throw him back. The fact that he "suggested" that you cancel your trip says it all. If you fit into his plans, he's happy (& isn't that what it's all about???), & if you don't fit into his plans, then you can stay home & *p!$$ away* your vacation time. Take your vacation, go somewhere else, indulge yourself, & see if life isn't more enjoyable without trying to fit yourself into someone else's life. 'cause he isn't budging one inch to fit himself into yours. I wish you the best.