What's to be gained by lying? What's the harm?

13 years ago

If a person whose honesty is in doubt doesn't have some obvious pay-off in material goods (money, gifts, etc.) there are some posters who believe that a story being posted therefore MUST be true... i.e."If they aren't asking for money, then there is no reason to lie." And further, "Even IF they lied, "What harm has been done to you?"

Tally posted the link below & I took the time to read the article. (Thanks, Tally) It's really too good to be overlooked & might have been lost in the fray. Both the above conclusions would be wrong. The pay-off can be non-material in nature & there IS harm to the group, as well as to individuals.

Here's a small excerpt:

Three lost souls with heart-rending stories, they clicked their way to Internet support groups, where they elicited outpourings of sympathy from fellow sufferers.

All three were incorrigible fakers. They lied their way into networks of people with real troubles who had come to care about one another and to think of themselves as communities. For months the frauds strung along their on-line audiences, which included many people who were living through genuine crises and tragedies but who had nonetheless extended themselves to comfort others.

Eventually, tripped up by their own lies and confronted by their victims, the intruders withdrew. But they had broken the trust of the groups they invaded, leaving members hurt, angry, embarrassed and suspicious of one another....

Why would anyone do such terrible things? Dr. Feldman said most people with factitious disorders were ''longing for nurturing, sympathy, care and concern that they feel unable to get in appropriate ways.'' They also like being treated as heroes and admired for their courage in the face of adversity.

''But some may have a bit of sadistic motivation in that they get some glee in deceiving others,'' Dr. Feldman said.

There's lots more. It's a really informative article, surprisingly, written in 1998, the year that the KT came into being. It sheds some light into understanding "Why?" and also "Why would you question someone's honesty?"

Here is a link that might be useful: I encourage you to read this.

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Comments (9)

Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana
13 years ago
I do know that I take a lot of things said on the net (like forums), with a grain of salt.

If it is anything important to me, I will consult experts on the matter.

Here is a link that might be useful: What is the Difference Between a Sociopath, a Compulsive, a Pathological, a Chronic, and a Habitual Liar?
magic_arizona
13 years ago
That was a very interesting article. The thing that struck me the most is

"They also like being treated as heroes and admired for their courage in the face of adversity."

That's enough of a reward for some people and seemed to be the case in recent events.
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monica_pa Grieves
13 years ago
And the sniping continues...
Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana
13 years ago
hmmm...read my mind
golfergrrl
13 years ago
Very good article. Try reading it. It's information. Take what you will from it. *sigh* Your complaining about sniping is....... sniping. Not necessary, but anticipated.
wantoretire_did
13 years ago
I'm assuming that the entire events are true. How dare some people insist that FW document the legalities and timelines. The guardian/adoption procedure is complicated enough for those in the legal field, but for a lay person the entire procedure is overwhelming at best. Why are so many of you ready for an AHA moment of exposing a supposed falsehood? You are like dogs with a bone.

If it is all not true, then there must be caring for the need expressed. There has been so much caring for physical problems, why not for emotional, if that is the case.
kfca37
13 years ago
That was an interesting article about sociopathic v. compulsive liars. Still can't decide if the late health guru I did the genealogy work-up on was one or the other. He sure did lie about his background a lot. I'm leaning toward the sociopathic though. People Magazine did a three-page photo article on him the year before he died (Sonny Bono, if anybody remembers him, was on the cover that week) that was pure crappola.

I'll have to think about it more. Either that or eat dinner.
chisue
13 years ago
Well, *I* think The U.S. District Attorney for Northern Illinois is a VERY MEAN PERSON, the way he's picking on our poor removed-from-office former governor. After ALL, Rod never actually GOT any of the money he was *taped* attempting to extort in exchange for appointing a Senator from Illinois to replace Obama. Rod's just a big talker, that's all. He didn't really *mean* any of that. heh-heh-heh

We should forgive and forget. Move on. We shouldn't spend money to re-try the guy, even though this jury was hung on most counts because of one nutcase juror. Let's go out and build something instead! Roads are good. There's lots of room for graft in roads. Chicaga ain't ready fer reform!

(I'd almost agree if it meant I never had to hear another word about this creep again. We could continue politics-as-usual, but with somebody new!)
kfca37
13 years ago
What is the old joke about the former Chicago resident, directing to be buried there so he could always vote in that city....

What's to be gained by lying? What's the harm?

Comments (9)

Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana

magic_arizona

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