Happy, I haven't had breast cancer but my youngest sister has. She was diagnosed with metastatic BC with multiple primary tumors (very aggressive) when she was 28 YO, 3 months after the birth of her daughter. That was almost 12 years ago and I'm so happy to share with you that she is living a healthy and happy life today. We will celebrate her daughter's 12th birthday in March with joy in our hearts that our beloved sister is here. Here are a few things she and we as her family did: -She scheduled her chemo sessions on Fridays, so her support team could really be there for her when she was feeling the worst. She would go in early, and I took care of the baby that day. Her husband was available all weekend and so were our other sisters (we are 5)and our stepmother, to be 'on duty' Saturday and Sunday. As a realtor weekends might be your busy time, but you can try to schedule your chemo so you will have a couple of recuperation days if you need them. -We focused on specific tasks. People will always ask 'what can I do to help' or say 'just call me if I can help'. And too often when you are sick and your energy is at a low ebb, it is impossible to be on top of everything, much less to be the case manager for yourself! So, instead of thanking folks, you can practice accepting with grace :). Don't be afraid of setting up a schedule for your friends, especially at church, to bring over meals a few nights a week while you're doing chemo. It can be hugely comforting to know that dinner will be on the table without you having to plan, shop, prep, cook and clean it up. Plus I don't know too many women who won't feel more than happy to prepare something tasty and bring it over to help a friend; as nurturers, it's what we do and it makes the giver feel terrific to help in such a concrete way. Or tell them you could use help on any number of ordinary things that might be a drain on your energy: running errands, picking up medicine, etc. As long as you are specific, my experience is that people are more than happy to do things. Picking something up at the pharmacy or the grocery store is easy when someone is out running errands. And, the more folks you have who can do X, Y or Z ror you, the fewer X-Y-Z energy and time drainers you have to worry about. Emotionally, I won't ever presume to say I know what you are experiencing. I do know that my sister told me, years later, that it meant the world to her to have people she could talk to about the darkest fears she was feeling. As the oldest sister, I wasn't that person...I was busy case managing all the stuff I wrote about above :). But she talked about the emotional aspects to another sister--for her, that was her safe person. I hope you find yours, and that you can have a listening ear able to be there for you. And last but not least I know that breast cancer treatments have made such tremendous strides that it is a much, much less fearsome disease in terms of life outcomes. Again, I don't presume to be able to tell you how to feel or not to worry. But breast cancer is a treatable disease and doctors have a huge number arrows in their quiver now that they didn't have even when my sister was diagnosed. Ann

Well all I know is the people that I know that have had cancer and had chemo and radiation were much younger than that and it was absolutely a terrible experience. My mom had radiation for breast cancer and was sick from it for a few years...she had another cancer and told them to just remove it and she was absolutely NOT going to take treatments, she lived about 15 years past that to be 89 YEARS OLD! My In Law had lymphoma and had radiation and actually died and had to be brought back during the treatment. He's OK now but he was only in his early 40s. My mom had a routine surgery when she was 84 and had a stroke from it and lived to be 89 not knowing what was up or down...just a terrible way to live! At 95 years old, I'd think you'd lived a good long life and just because there's a cancerous tumor doesn't mean you will die any time soon.

I'm not knowledgeable but would like you to get some help. There is a very nice forum called Kitchen Table. It is made of mostly women of all ages and I would love to see you put it there. It is very active and the members have been through many things. This site for some reason isn't active. However, two women were very helpful when I had sciatica problems. When I asked about in on The Kitchen Table I had about 43 replies. So good luck and try them out.

Silverdove you are only the second person I have heard from who has personally been able to use the SAVI. (The other person is my SAVI Sister from KS who just went through the treatment in March.). if you don't mind sharing, how long did it take you to get this experience in the rear view mirror and move on? I am just 1 week + 1 day out of radiation so I have just begun the healing process. Next week I hope to go to physical therapy for exercises for my arm on the surgery side. Do we always (forever) have to accommodate that side --like carry the purse on the non surgery side, etc.? Thank you so much for writing! I can hardly wait to be able to say like you "back in such and such year I had ....." You are an encouragement Silverdove!