Happy, I haven't had breast cancer but my youngest sister has. She was diagnosed with metastatic BC with multiple primary tumors (very aggressive) when she was 28 YO, 3 months after the birth of her daughter. That was almost 12 years ago and I'm so happy to share with you that she is living a healthy and happy life today. We will celebrate her daughter's 12th birthday in March with joy in our hearts that our beloved sister is here. Here are a few things she and we as her family did: -She scheduled her chemo sessions on Fridays, so her support team could really be there for her when she was feeling the worst. She would go in early, and I took care of the baby that day. Her husband was available all weekend and so were our other sisters (we are 5)and our stepmother, to be 'on duty' Saturday and Sunday. As a realtor weekends might be your busy time, but you can try to schedule your chemo so you will have a couple of recuperation days if you need them. -We focused on specific tasks. People will always ask 'what can I do to help' or say 'just call me if I can help'. And too often when you are sick and your energy is at a low ebb, it is impossible to be on top of everything, much less to be the case manager for yourself! So, instead of thanking folks, you can practice accepting with grace :). Don't be afraid of setting up a schedule for your friends, especially at church, to bring over meals a few nights a week while you're doing chemo. It can be hugely comforting to know that dinner will be on the table without you having to plan, shop, prep, cook and clean it up. Plus I don't know too many women who won't feel more than happy to prepare something tasty and bring it over to help a friend; as nurturers, it's what we do and it makes the giver feel terrific to help in such a concrete way. Or tell them you could use help on any number of ordinary things that might be a drain on your energy: running errands, picking up medicine, etc. As long as you are specific, my experience is that people are more than happy to do things. Picking something up at the pharmacy or the grocery store is easy when someone is out running errands. And, the more folks you have who can do X, Y or Z ror you, the fewer X-Y-Z energy and time drainers you have to worry about. Emotionally, I won't ever presume to say I know what you are experiencing. I do know that my sister told me, years later, that it meant the world to her to have people she could talk to about the darkest fears she was feeling. As the oldest sister, I wasn't that person...I was busy case managing all the stuff I wrote about above :). But she talked about the emotional aspects to another sister--for her, that was her safe person. I hope you find yours, and that you can have a listening ear able to be there for you. And last but not least I know that breast cancer treatments have made such tremendous strides that it is a much, much less fearsome disease in terms of life outcomes. Again, I don't presume to be able to tell you how to feel or not to worry. But breast cancer is a treatable disease and doctors have a huge number arrows in their quiver now that they didn't have even when my sister was diagnosed. Ann

Shannon, thanks for responding again & sharing more about yourself and family. I feel you really understand both sides of the coin; being the one with the diagnosis and being the loved one of that person. You are a very compassionate person who can put yourself in others' shoes. Auntjen...thanks for the hugs and good wishes. I appreciated your support! Texanjana, thanks so very much for your empathy & for your prayers. There has been a new development. Day before yesterday when my sister went to get her chest x-ray for pre-admission/pre-surgery, they found "something" on her lung. Today she had a CT done. Just talked to Peggy and all they determined via the CT was that there is a "mass" on her lung. The details still remain sketchy. They want to do a "fine needle aspiration" & a PET scan next week. She needs to call Monday to schedule those tests as no one was around this afternoon to do that. They have cancelled the surgery for Tuesday. She's hanging in there! I think she's looking forward to having a quiet day at home tomorrow (no tests) to "chill out!" Then we'll all be over to bug her on Sunday! Hopefully by the end of next week we'll have a better idea of exactly what she has & how it should be treated. Again, thanks to each of you for your interest, support and prayers.

My wife had a mastectomy 10 yr ago and because of a potential threat, all 21 nodes were striped out. Back then, that was the standard practice. Her lump was fairly large: A lumpectomy was performed while she was on the operatng table and the quick analysis said the margin was not 'clean' so the surgeon proceded with the full procedure including all node removal. It truned out that all nodes were clean and the removal was unnecessary. We also found that if the surgeon had removed just a little more material around her lump, the margin would have been clean and that would have prevented a lifetime of problems. Less than 2 years later, the recommendation for her case type changed and the new procedure became: remove the first node and check it. If it is ok, stop. It was our experience that removal of all nodes create a drainage problem. Fluid tends to build up for at least 6 weeks until the body can find ways to absorb and reroute it. These nodes are part of the drainage system for the infection fighters. The body did eventually heal, but a comprise remains. My wife has a lifing restriction of 10 lbs on that arm for the rest of her life. A larger weigth will not do physical harm, but the exertion can overload the drainage system and the muscles may be weak. it can result in a minor injury that will take a long time to heal. So my advice is: Do not let your nodes be removed unless these are PROVEN invaded. Over 10 years ago, complete removal was done to insure that an invaded node was not missed. In too many cases (back then) when nodes were left, they gave trouble and once the cancer invaded the nodal system, it is very late. Better (and faster) detection plus more research has changed the picture. Be sure to discuss with your oncologist.

At a hospital here they now have a digital mammogram that is much better picture wise than the old mammogram and a lot less painful. A saliva test for breast is being studied. Cut and paste. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22594117/ I have cystic fibroids in my breasts. Two years after a breast reduction an ultrasound found at least 18 fibroid cysts. My mother had breast cancer in her 30's and fought it for years and died when she was 49. That was 31 years ago. Treatment for breast cancer has come a long way. Marcia, you're in my prayers for a full recovery. Janet