It's difficult for any person to have to go through so many changes/adjustments, but it has to be VERY difficult for someone like your son. I have a mentally retarded sister in a Home. They will just up and change her room at the drop of a hat and it sends her into a tailspin each time. Due to dealing with Annie, I know a little of your fears/concerns in this with Tay. I pray that God helps him AND you through all of this.

Shirley

Wendy, keeping you & your Family in my prayers!

Hugs to ya, Donna (^_^)

Gosh Wendy, I'm so sorry your Son has had so many changes. Having worked as a Developmentally Disabled Supervisor I know how hard it is to "trust" new things.

Once he gets into a Adult Home things should become more stable for him. Just give him all the assurance you can that things are getting better.

I'll keep you and both kiddos in my thoughts and prayers.

Gayle

Wendy, hugs and support to you and yours. You truly are an amazing mom and I'm humbled.

Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

april

I have a 24 YO son with high functioning Autism. Everyone keeps saying we should put him in a home so we don't have to handle such a burden, which is mainly me because DH isn't here 5 days out of the 7. Both DH and I are against it, though there are days when I wish there was a place he could go to. But as long as we are able to take care of him, we will. We see it as he was given to us to take care of for a reason. What made you decide to put your son in a home? Not trying to pry. I just want to know your thinking behind it.
Thanks.
Clare

Hi Wendy, hope things work out well for Taylor. You are doing a great job of balancing work and family.

Our DD and grandson came down for 2 days for a visit. He is in first grade now and not happy about the longer school day plus he has a new para he has to get used to.

Clare, the hardest decision we have ever had to make in our life. Our decision is the right one for our son. No ands ifs or buts about it. If you go to the blog and read it, back for the couple of months we have been writing it, it is all there. Our son was running away about 5 nights a week as he had such a lack of communication. He was not safe. His fits of rage were dangerous for himself and for our 3 year old daughter. I don't want to see either of them to get hurt unintentionally. Our son's vineland test revealed that he was a three to five year in living skills in many areas, which also left him in some very scary situations.

Him living in a home forever is most likely not going to happen. That is why it is called a transitioning home. A home preparing him to come home. He also started to harm himself because of frustrations. The assisted living is there to teach him some vocational training and also to teach him some living skills.

Sometimes when such bad things happen and it is super scary, you can't go with your mothering instinct and be selfish to keep your child in your home for your own peace of mind. You have to do what is best for his/her health and well being. That is what we have had to do. Believe me it wasn't, isn't easy. I was out of work for months with depression and anxiety over it... lost a ton of sleep and a ton of weight. It hasn't been this rosy picture of we don't have to worry about it now. It is quite the other scale to be honest. We worry about him when he gets hurt, and we can't be there to comfort him. We worry if he is getting things to eat that are his favorite. We worry that he won't hear us say we love him near as much as we usually say.

Each case of autism is different. I am glad as it seems that your son's must not be to the extent. I am glad as I hate to see others go through this.

All of our friends and family see a huge difference in him since he is getting the help he needs with intense therapy and med regulation. I am also a mom that works full time as well does my husband and our son can't be unattended as his case is severe enough it is not healthy for him. Our neighbor is a therapist that works with autistic children also and she has a million times over come over to tell us how much of a change she sees in our son and we did the best thing for him.

Thanks for asking. The blog has a lot of information on it.

Here is a link that might be useful: Our journey through autism

Wendy, it sure sounds like you made the right decision for your son. What a difficult decision for you to make. Keeping Taylor and your entire family in our prayers. Hang in there.

Thanks so much Lynne. Of course we made the right decision for our son. There are times I think it is harder on us than it is on him. It is hard to love someone so much you will do anything to get them help, even if it includes breaking your own heart into a million pieces.

Here is a link that might be useful: Our journey with autism one day at a time

Thanks for the answer. I didn't mean to come across as judgemental, I just wanted to know your reasons. And like you said, every Autism case is different. You did what was best for your situation and we are trying to do what is the best for ours. I keep meaning to read your blog but just don't get around to it.

We are lucky in that our son is an only child and he is pretty mellow most of the time. And that I could stay home and take care of him. He has had thearpy and classes to help him to be more social and have appropriate behavior in public. He is also on Paxil for his severe OCD. I think sometimes that is more of the problem than the Autism.

As long as he can play on his computer, video games and watch TV in his room, he seems to be a happy guy. He hardly ever wants to come out, not even to eat! LOL People say we should put him in a home now to get him use to it, because someday he will probably end up there when we are no longer able to take care of him. That is what I worry about the most, what will happen to him when we are gone. Both sides of our family have made it very clear that they don't want to take care of him. I think the government is going to have to step up to the plate and provide shelters for adults with Autism with trained staff, since there are so many and there are more everyday.

Good luck with your son.
Clare