ok...adding more here, for the record... from an email from queenofthemountain. CA I saw the discussion about postage rates and wanted to let you know my Post Office charges the parcel rate for bubble mailers. When I have gone there to mail (usually 2-4 seed packets, taped in place) they charge me $1.22 or $1.39. Here is their info: 8587 Fenwick Street Sunland, CA 91040-1953 (818) 951-0376 I think next time I will print out the Mail Prices page from the USPS Web site to take with me. I suggested she also print out the Physical Standards for Flats (2.0 thru 2.4) and that she ask them to show her their First Class Mail Shape Based Pricing Template...PSN 7530-10-000-0765. If they follow the instructions on the template and check for flexibility (print out that flex test) and see that it is uniformly think...show them the printout on that...then they should be on board. I asked that she report back here with whatever she is told. Hopefully she can get them straightened out, as it is just 2 months shy of being 3 years that the public has been overcharged. Sue

I was fortunate in that my Mom did not show signs of violent behavior. The wandering was bad enough while she was still able to walk. I think your friend needs to rethink taking care of her Mom. If she finds it hard now, it is only going to get worse. Much worse! As you know I was the sole caregiver to my sweet Mom for over 10 years and I would never ever put myself in that role again and my Mom was a dear gentle patient. Your friend's life will change forever if she takes this challenge on. You become an appendage of the person you are caring for because as the dementia progresses you have to do everything for that person. My Aunt was the violent type, my sweet gentle religious Aunt turned into a rabid animal locked in a cage. Swearing, hurting my Uncle, telling lies that almost put my Uncle in jail. My Aunt paced, back and forth. She wouldn't sit to eat, sleep. She walked and walked and ranted. She would get out of the house and walk into a neighbours house and act like it was her home and not theirs. Even after my Uncle put her in a nursing home she never found peace until she died. That is what Alzheimer's did to her. As someone above said, get the Alzheimer Society involved. They will send out a case worker but first your friend's Mom needs to be assessed by a Doctor. There could be something else that is causing her violent dementia. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't hesitate to put my Mom into care and as I said I had it easy until my Mom got cancer and I had to give her insulin shots but taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer's will suck the life blood out of you. 8 years since my Mom passed away and I am still trying to find out who I am and to put my care taking in the past and not let it define me anymore. I must say though after the first couple of years of taking care of my Mom I became a better person and had to let go of the anger I was feeling at having to give up my life as I knew it, my savings, dating life, getting married, having kids because I chose to do this. I learned to be happy because I knew if I wasn't happy I would be in H'll on Earth. Alzheimer's in a terrible disease, much more terrible for the person that is doing the care giving than the one who suffers from it. I hope your friend gets some help for herself and her Mom sooner than later. Anne

My plan has always been to have my body cremated and my ashes scattered. When I see these gravestones, it kind of makes me want a permanent memorial for myself. I really don't want to be buried in the family cemetery. I don't even know those people! Thanks for that link Alisande. I am going to see if I can find my paternal grandmother's grave. See? If I am "blowing in the wind" my grandchildren (if I had any!) wouldn't be able to find me.

keswick_sniders I loved your poem, many parts of your journey into gardening although on a different level hit home with me, along with happy times there were some tough years to get through as I was growing up. Not only does a garden give one a lot of joy and pleasure, it, at least for me when I was very young without going into detail, grandpa's garden was a place where all my little worries and cares disappeared. There was a tall patch of grass behind his vegetable garden where on a sunny day I would lie down in amongst it and watch all the billowy clouds roll by, sometimes even take a nap, the warmth from the sun, a slight breeze, lovely. I used to have a huge library but have since passed many of my books on to up and coming gardeners, magazines, I had a bookcase full of them which I used to pull out and reread during the winter months, those have now been handed on to others. I've only been using a computer for a few years and still on the learning curve, very thankful I have DH to straighten it all up when I hit a snag but those times I'm happy to say are getting less frequent. I'm sure most of you have discovered not only does a garden give you satisfaction at creating beauty even if it is just in your own mind, like me, a garden is a great healer. For those of us dealing with disabilities, illness, hardships or even emotional issues that can wear one down a garden becomes a sanctuary where you can relax and toss all your cares to the wind at least for a little while, that is... until you look down at your favorite hosta that some damn slug has used as a smorgasbord the night before, but after a little searching you find the culprit, the crunching sound heard when you bring the heel of you boot down on the little sucker... ahhhh such satisfaction... all is right with the world again :). Gardens, so many different styles of gardening to choose from, it's a place where you can do your own thing, whether it's acreage, a few raised beds, containers or even just a simple window box to start with, welcome to the wonderful world of gardening, enjoy. WARNING!!! it can become very addictive LOL. Annette