Sounds to me like he trying to make the best out of a bad situation.

I hope he is able to take care of the little one. Also gets some good legal advice.

I hope someone gives him a gift certificate for a paternity test.

Agree with the above. And I don't know what's so different about this and the traditional baby shower when the female has it. Still begging for money and gifts. No different. Still looking for others to provide food. No different. Very often a knocked up female talks their way back into the parents house. No different there. Many women/girls can't support themself and a baby. No different there. Not unusual for a pregnant girl to have nothing for a baby. Same thing isn't it? What's so offensive other than in this case it's a male? I see that fathering a baby and taking care of it and being in his 30s is a problem, but what if it were a female? Would it still be so wrong and mind boggling?

What's wrong about it is that no one else threw a shower for him! Where are friends and family in times of need??

Mt thoughts on this (as if anyone cares. LOL) I hope the guy knows for sure it IS his baby. If he is ready to take on rearing the baby, more power to him. Yes giving yourself a shower is maybe tacky, but desperate situations, take desperate measures. I also hope one of the gifts he gets at that shower is..... a box, a BIG box of condoms. ( and i don't mean a box of big condoms) Yuk Yuk.

I think it's tacky. My nephews girlfriend had their baby last Novemner. He dropped out oF school and is looking for a job. Family members on both sides have helped the baby out with clothing, cash, other gifts, etc. My sister (the grandmother) refuses to babysit while the baby's mother is working. At one point, there was a shower thrown by the girl's family. Very few people went, not even my own mother (the great-grandmother). Lets hope this shower gets a similar reaction.

We seem to have a lot of Emily Posts among us. Sadly we not living in the kind of world where all of the etiquette rules were followed. I truly liked that world, but it doesn't exist, again, sadly. If this father is ready to be responsible for his baby, I think it is more kind to give him some help, than throw etiquette rules. JMO

Does this make any difference to anyone?

He has an excellant job--as a medical professional. BUT he choses to drink his money, rather than be responsible for his own life--I can't imagine how he's going to be responsible for an infant with special needs. I know many people in his field who, in their mid-twenties were makign enough $$$ to buy their own homes, cars, provide for themselves, a spouse, children. It's a well-paying job. BUT he's reduced to begging from friends because of his poor choices, apparently

One perspective is that this guy might just not understand the nuances of baby showers - that someone else is supposed to throw them, that you provide some food in exchange for the loot, etc. As a man he may just think baby = party = gifts, which is the essential equation when you think about it. His idea of a party happens to be mass invites and potluck. There's a reason you don't see many straight men in the party planning business.

Well, Azzalea, some people live that life until they finally wake up and see the big picture and this may be his wake up call. I spent most of my money on entertainment when I was single and yet somehow I still managed to settle down in my 30s and become a responsible parent. It's not that far-fetched of an idea. And he is no more begging for gifts than any other baby or bridal shower, he's just not doing it with as much style.

This is probably going to tick some off but I've just got to add my $.02. There are some very different opinions of love, genuine concern for community and friends, gifting and forgiveness, what a gift is and what a shower is. Any shower, no matter who throws it and what the invitation looks like. Yes even a tacky e-mail invite is still an invite. Welcome to the electronic age.

A gift is something that is willingly and happily presented to another person with out expectations of payment, restitution or compensated for by the receiver. If you consider a party designed to give gifts, such as SHOWERS, begging parties DON'T GO.
The shower is for the BABY. People who are involved in the life of the Mom and or Dad care enough about the coming or just birthed child to give something to help with the care of a child.
A child that was not planned and the parents are struggling could find these gifts a blessing indeed. Those who want and can attend can give as generously as they want or feel necessary. If that means a life time bedroom set or if it is a bid and baby spoon woo hoo for the kid!
All babies need STUFF and baby shower gifts are just the original BIRTHDAY GIFTS. Give or don't, go or don't its up to the invited person. My belief is to give a gift to the child after it's birth not before, but I have attended showers and just given a token gift of a stuffed toy or a few bibs then after the child birthed gave something more special or in some cases needed.
A child is a blessed event. Not in all cases is it planned, within the "sacred" bounds of marriage or even accepted by both parents and their entire family lines. So what? A child is a child innocent and in need of love and protection. If the Mom and Dad can and will provide together for the child and all the family will be there for support and love that is a right thing to do. If there is some reason one parent or another cannot help rear the child in the best possible ways then be hopeful and happy someone can and will provide what the child needs to live a safe and happy life. I've seen to many tragic stories of children and infants alone, abused, neglected, enslaved, sold and sacrificed.
From the OP and several answers so far there is gossiping, complaining, greed, anger, retaliatory negative wishes no one shows up??? and judgmental attitude towards another persons actions and choices in a tough situation.

Those who have offered kind words about/to the man and his situation Thank you for keeping love first in your hearts.

The levels of wrongness in this thread are simply mind-boggling, aren't they?

Bless this man for trying to take responsibility of the health and well being of a child, (biologically his or not isn't the issue if it is his in his heart). If I were him in need for my child I would "beg" for help too. If I knew who he was I would send them a little 'sometingsometing' as my grammy would say.

LIL

I also agree that he just sounds desperate and is trying to provide for his new baby best as he can. If I was a friend/acquantaince of his, I'd stop worrying about how "proper" it is and find a practical gift or jumbo box of diapers. I'd hate for that baby to suffer just because the parents are less then responsible.

And I think paula hit the nail on the head-guys don't pay attention to this stuff. They don't know how it works ie the family isn't supposed to be throwing the shower.

I feel for him...he is doing the right thing and trying to be a father. Whether he has made selfish choices in the past, doesn't mean he can't change in the future.
He needs help. A baby is a lot of work and expense. If he doesn't have the money now...well he just doesn't. But the baby still has needs that must be met.
He probably broke a few ettiquette rules, but sounds like he's trying.
If you really think he's out for money...make sure you buy a baby gift, not cash or gift card.

Being judgemental will not help that baby at all.. the baby needs love and support, and the best way to do that is to support the dad, both financially and emotionally. The breaking of a few etiquette rules is trivial and inconsequential in this situation.

To me this is no tackier (is that a word?) than the invitation I just received..... young professional (well he is, she is SAHM) couple, just moved into a 500,00+ dollar new home, they threw their OWN shower for their SECOND baby. HE sent out e-vites, and she prepared the food. Really doubt that they NEEDED the gifts they were asking for.

As for this guy, i agree with LIL. Seems like he is trying to do the right thing for his baby. And apparently he thinks it IS his baby. Maybe this will be his "It's time to grow up" wake up call. Let's just hope he is capable of providing a good, healthy, loving home for this infant. Wonder why the mother is not in the picture? All in all, I say God bless him, and I hope his family and friends step up to support him.

I agree with Kris - at least he's trying to do SOMETHING, and not bail on the baby!

It wouldn't bother me to be invited to that shower. Kudo's to him for stepping up to the plate IMO.

He's trying to be a father and getting things he needs is going about it the best way he knows.

thumbs for him