So sorry to hear about this - how frustrating! This sounds like my kind of luck. May of this past year, we hit a deer, which totaled our van. We searched forever for a good used van (since the insurance company didn't give us much for ours - it was older, but in mint condition). Our financial situation is not in a position to add another monthly payment. Finally in August we found one that "worked" - although we weren't sure about buying a Chevy. But I needed one by fall, when my craft shows started, so we decided to get it. We got it on Sunday afternoon and Monday I drove it to town and got whammed in the rear end. We hadn't even had the title work done yet. I was sick. But it was fixable and I wasn't hurt - so it all worked out. So glad Carol wasn't hurt anymore than she was - been there done that - triple Advil every 4-6 hrs. was the dr. advice for me - that is prescription strenth. We got hit with 8 or more inches of snow this weekend and as we were shoveling/clearing the drive/sidewalks, I asked my husband if he could imagine climbing on the roof and shoveling it! We just replaced that roof 2 summers ago and I will attest that it was SCAREY being up there when it was dry, let alone snow covered and slippery! I can't even imagine. Hang in there - spring is just around the corner! Arlene

Very good post, and it's interesting to hear what people have to say. What Suzy says is worth the most serious consideration. I'm confused on the subject. First, I've been gardening for over twenty years, and am on my third serious garden (there have been some minor ones in between), which I've been working on for about a decade now. Currently I have about 350 varieties of roses and about 500-600 plants, not to mention hundreds of other shrubs, subshrubs, perennials, and so on. The garden is currently about two acres in size and will increase a bit more before we stop expanding. All this is to explain my situation. My garden is many things to me. It's a plant collection, with emphasis on old and older roses; I'm particularly fond of the once-flowering old roses which are so little grown in Italy, and of the Teas, also little cultivated. It's my aesthetic experiment, my lifetime work of art, my form of creative expression, and I can't put into words how important this is to me. My garden is also a long term experiment in low-impact gardening. I want to see what happens if I grow roses and other plants with just water the first year, mulch, pruning, weeding, cutting the grass, and not much else. The results have been encouraging enough that I keep on going with the same basic practices. In terms of consumption, my conscience is in pretty good shape. The land the garden takes up was grassland, some of it very weedy and poor, marginal areas given over to weeds, and one part, the shade garden, was a mixture of brushy woods and swamp and the site of our predecessors' burn pile and dump. Our fertilizer is the old hay we use as mulch, a local resource which would otherwise be simply thrown away. The water the garden uses, not a lot, is balanced out by the increased fertility of the soil and greater volume of plant material growing on the land, which also inhibits landslides, which are a very real consideration on our property. I've introduced exotic plant species, but also look for and introduce local native plants to the garden. If I haven't made it clear before, this is anything but prime farmland I'm gardening on, and it would be either grass, brush turning to woodland, or weeds--all three locally abundant--if I weren't gardening there. My husband and I plan on expanding the garden, and we're in a hurry, as he's my chief labor force and is currently in his late seventies, and won't be able to dig planting holes and steer the motor scythe forever. We get poorer every year and I don't see how we'll be able to hire anybody to do the work he does now. Everyone has a limit, or so I suppose, and I suspect that mine is somewhere in the neighborhood of 600-800 varieties of roses. But I don't know whether we'll get there before our resources, of money and manpower, give out. I'm wondering if I can't borrow a horse to be a living lawn mower: I'm told they eat only grass. The money isn't that big a deal. Some people buy clothes or go to the movies or eat out; I buy plants, at moderate expense. I also give and receive a lot of plants, and this cooperative aspect of gardening is one of its aspects that matters to me. But I certainly do wonder at times why I'm dedicating my life to a garden that no one ever sees. This is frustrating, and it also offends, quite deeply, my sense of thrift. I will feel my garden has been a failure if it remains unknown and never touches anyone's life, no matter how beautiful I succeed in making it. It's too much for one person alone to enjoy. I'm familiar with the sensation of greed, and it's an uncomfortable feeling. In spite of the ambitious scale of my garden, my desire to keep working on it doesn't feel like greed to me, not quite, and I certainly have thought about the matter. Could I spend my life more usefully? Quite possibly, as the chief practical result of my decade of labor seems to be that two acres of dirt are more fertile than they were before. I could be earning money, perhaps, staving off starvation and power cutoffs in my old age. That would certainly be useful, to me at any rate. As far as the work I might do is concerned, how many people do truly useful work, work that benefits society? Would I be doing something more globally useful if I had a job in advertising, say, instead of going out right now to shear grass and vetch in my rose beds? So many questions, so few answers. Melissa

We have a neighbor like that. Yes, she does have a brother in another state. But she doesn't seem interested in having him her to help her. She is 80 and he is in his late 70's. She asked another friend of hers to be the executor of her estate. She is asking her to sell many of her things now. She also asks my husband to do many things for her. She gets free lawn cutting from a local group. I think she can afford to have this done. She owns a very small . house. Cluttered and this may be why the friend has suggested that she sell many of her collectibles. She doesn't eat well, as she doesn't cook. She uses our phone to talk long distance to call her family. I don't think she has actually talked to her brother but his wife always answers the phone. She writes to them and I wonder if he reads her letters. So sad. Do what you have to do to help your friend. Whatever the cost. Mary

I remember going to Costa Rica one year during the last week of November, thinking it would be "warm." OMG, it was so hot and humid I thought I would suffocate. I ducked into a shop so I could breathe, went back onto the street, ducked into another shop, and continued this all the way down the street. Here's the kicker for me: I grew up in Florida and thought it was paradise. I guess people become acclimated to their environments, but honestly I don't think I could do it again. As I write this, I recall complaining yesterday because we're going up to 80 today, and down to 30 on Thursday. Go figure -- LOL.