Many of the distributors of items that the stores carry have guidelines of what do with items that do not sell. The stores must comply to receive credit for the no-sales. Sort of like when magazines don't sell and they send back the front covers but throw the rest away. There is no excuse for not recycling parts of these things. The stores throw away the entire plastic cup and plant. I can understand throwing away the plant and soil - often the cheap plants are in a mix of Styrofoam and soil and may be diseased and should not be composted (plus full of growth hormones and fertilizers and stop growth hormone etc)... clothing stores could send those clothes even when cut up to a jobber to recycle the fibers for fiber fillings, the plastic plant cups can be recycled, it is a waste. I do understand stores having policy of not giving things for free. Discount yes, free no. I ran a nursery here, if I had spent my time to serve everyone who wanted free plants I would have spent so many store hours that they did not recoup any $$ from. I'm not kidding when I say every 3rd customer wanted a discount or something free. It often felt like haggling in a Persian market - the experience was very weird (plus I had low prices!!!) Dead and dying plants I removed out of sight to save reputation of only having healthy and great plants. Our wonderful store owner let us set up a hospital out back to try and save things. One of my favorite nurseries let people shop in the hospital. They had blanket signs, everything was $2 if it was back there, and they'd paint a red dot on the pot so the cashier would know. Many of my shrubs came from the $2 a pot lot!!!

I love you guys!! Thank you so much for the sage advice and the virtual shoulders to lean on. Today I called my son and told him I was coming over to help him deep clean his house. I guess I left my cell phone at home, cuz DH had to text DS to get in touch with me. How liberating that was!! I worked really hard at DS's house, but he worked along side me and was wonderful company, so even tho I'm sore and tired, it was a good day. DS was VERY appreciative of me being there to help him and I liked doing it for him. I'm going to try to talk to DH tonight. He has a tendency to avoid conflict, and while I don't want conflict, I DO need him to hear me. DH has been self employed for years, just recently his business (more like a hobby income the last year or so) has just about come to a standstill. The things he makes are not a necessity item, so he's not bringing in the $$ like before. We can basically only count on my income...which is plenty for us to live comfortably on, but not where we can still live like we do and support another person. DH's income was for the fun stuff and extras for the most part. Rose...your DH sounds so much like mine. When my SS lived with us, it was horrible, too. He was much like yours and when he finally left our house for good, it was like a weight off my shoulders. But he almost tore us apart. My DH has always had a tendency to put his family ahead of me. For the most part, I dealt with it, but they've intruded into our life for the past couple years to the point where I can't take it any more. We've got an empty nest, and I want to enjoy it. We were both parents when we met, so we never had time alone together until the kids were grown. We were starting to have fun together when MIL became a pretty much every day fixture in our lives. She started backing off after I complained to DH, and it was ok, but now BIL is here. I'm just not sure of his situation. MIL said that his wife told her she does not want to reconcile. She wants to be friends with him, she loves him but is not in love...blahblah. He's holding on to the idea that they're going to reconcile. He goes over to her place at least once a week and stays there, but apparently stays on the sofa, and the other day he said he had to sleep on the floor because grandkids or something were there. Yesterday he told me he has an interview at a gym, I asked him about it and it's a fly-by-night outfit (he's a certified personal trainer) and he's been talking alot about how unhappy he is at his job (he works in retail and has a decent job w/bennies). This is his history, he's never worked at a job longer than 2 years, and he's just about past that time now, so he's ready to move on. DH said BIL is broke all the time, likely because he's giving his wife the $$, and that is again typical of him. So I'm not sure how the money thing will work. But frankly, it's not my problem!! The holiday thing...when my Dad was alive, he and my DH did not get along. My DH made every excuse in the book not to spend holidays at my parents, so to avoid the fight with him, and the tension if they were all together, I'd take the kids to my folks and he'd stay with his kid. It made me angry, but I chose the lesser of 2 evils. Later, we noticed a trend, DH would get pouty and start picking fights shortly before holidays. I finally figured it out, that he didn't want to spend time with my family and holidays always included them. His family was not nearby and when they were, they wouldn't come...they didn't want to celebrate. So once I figured out his M.O., I realized it wasn't ME, it was him...and I wouldn't let him get his way. He would pitch a fit and try to get out of events, but I'd make him participate. And what do you know, he always enjoyed himself! But I also learned that he;d bug out early, so I got used to it. He's very shy and not comfortable around people he's not really used to. I'm the opposite, I am gregarious and love to socialize. Well, this year, our DD who was married last year said she would like to host Thanksgiving at her house and have her in-laws and her family together. I am thrilled and am excited to do this with her, but as soon as DH found out (he read the email from DD) he said he was spending T'giving with his Mom. He is extremely uncomfortable about DD's in-laws, he only met them the first time at the rehearsal dinner, and barely spoke with them during the wedding weekend. So he's going to try everything he can to try to get out of going. I'm not going to say a word to him about it...I thought about trying to cajole him, but I'm going to let it be up to my kids to make him understand how disappointed they'll be if he doesn't spend time with them because he's shy and being a baby. But now, with BIL here, or at least in the proximity, he'll find every excuse, and likely his mother will want her boys over to her house. Anyway, it's just drama that I do not want to contend with, and honestly, I thought it was all over with...that DH had moved on, because every year I host a big Christmas party with lots of people and he enjoys it. It's almost like he's taken 3 giant steps back now that his brother is here every day. So the more I think about it, the more I think I need to get DH alone...sit him down and lay it out. I've already made up my mind that I WILL leave him if his mother ever has to come live with us!

Good advise here. There is something happening and I am not sure you would want to discuss it with the group. Would they be honest? I find that friends can serve many diffrent purposes. But, in order to be MY friend, you have to call me and INVITE me sometimes. And, I can invite you ten times and you might invite me once, but I am expecting that one time at least! You have taken an important step in being social. Rather than sit and wait you have taken the initiative. Good for you! So, with this particular group of ladies, when you are bored etc use them to go places. But understand they are not true friends. Then, you need to find some real friends. Look deep into yourself. At this stage it is hard to change old habits but you might be more mindful. Do you tend to talk a lot, or as suggested above, complain too much? Do you like to "brag" about children and grandkids perhaps? Or it might just be that you have to keep looking and it has nothing to do with you.

I found a recipe if anyone is interested 7 layer salad 1 pound bacon 1 large head iceberg lettuce - rinsed, dried, and chopped 1 red onion, chopped 1 (10 ounce) package frozen green peas, thawed 10 ounces shredded Cheddar cheese 1 cup chopped cauliflower 1 1/4 cups mayonnaise 2 tablespoons white sugar 2/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese Directions 1.Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Crumble and set aside. 2.In a large flat bowl, place the chopped lettuce and top with a layer of onion, peas, shredded cheese, cauliflower and bacon. 3.Prepare the dressing by whisking together the mayonnaise, sugar and Parmesan cheese. Drizzle over salad and refrigerate until chilled.