Honestly I don't think CPS will do anything about giving coke to a baby. Obviously it's not good but it's not abuse. It's a perfectly legal substance for all ages even though it's completely empty nutrition.

The beef jerky, however, is a safety hazard. The kid could easily choke so I'd be more concerned about that. Maybe you can bring over a big box of cheerios or something like that.

And food stamps can be used for any kind of food pretty much so I don't think there's really much you can do other than perhaps appeal to your sister to look out for her grandchild's safety.

I don't think it qualifies as abuse. It isn't the best situation, but it isn't abuse. Your sister's attitude bothers me. Just because the baby gets crap food at home doesn't mean grandma has to continue the tradition at her house. My kids have different foods at the grandparents house. It's never been a problem.

It's stupid, nutritionally a disaster, and I find it irresponsible and shortsighted. But it isn't abuse.

I agree with the others. Not abuse, but certainly not a good thing, either.

But even more than the nutritional aspects (empty calories in the soda/choking hazard of the jerky)--I'm really concerned about the discipline comment. If your sister doesn't want to PROPERLY do the job of babysitting, she shouldn't take it on. An 18 month old is just learning the rules of the world--whoever is minding her has a very serious responsibility for teaching her right from wrong, manners, kindness, etc. Sadly, if your sister just wants to be a piece of furniture when the kid's over, she really should excuse herself from babysitting.

and WHY isn't DAD watching the child if he's not working????????????

The child's teeth are in danger of rotting from the Coke in the baby bottle.

Dad Timmy is busy playing games on his Ipod. Tanya works a lot. Grandparents are indeed pieces of (s*it) furniture. It isn't illegal to feed a child Coke and jerky. I'll talk to my sister, I can't believe she's that dense. Timmy and Tanya once dumped baby Kelly on Grandma for 5 days while they went on "vacation" to visit some friends from high school. Only they didn't tell Grandma where they were going or when they'd be back. I'll just warn my sister she's acting as Kelly's parent and it's up to her to use some good judgment. I'll remind her about tooth decay and choking. Thanks for the opinions!

Besides the Coke and jerky, an 18 month old should be drinking from a cup, not a bottle. The 10 month old I watch drinks water from a cup.

You might remind your sister of a couple of things.

By giving Dad a free pass to play his video games, she's enabling them to be irresponsible parents. That means that as the years go on, they're going to rely more and more on her to do THEIR job of parenting this child (and probably a few more).

If she thinks she's too old at 55 for this job, how does she think she's going to be able to manage an elementary-aged child in her 60's? Or a couple of wild teens as she approaches 70? That's where she's headed, from the sounds of things

AND if no one bothers to discipline these children now, they are going to be terrors as they get older.

Whether or not your sister likes it, she really, REALLY needs to sit down and look at where the future is going here. She needs to set boundaries--for both the grandchild and the child's parents; she needs to realize that SOMEONE needs to discipline this child. And she needs to understand that it's likely the consequences may fall in her lap, if she doesn't do something now to improve this child's situation.

I can only imagine this childs teeth and the future dental bills, the attitude they are allowing her to develop at such a young age is scary, and a dad that doesn't care to take care of his own. Agh, I don't think your ever going to see much in this parenting that's going to make you happy. The best thing that might happen is to invite the child to your house and show her how to ask, please and thank you, show her good food and teach her about cavities. Love her all you can now because there may be some issues to deal with later.
I like the idea of bringing cheerios and other toddler foods to grandma's and also a sweet tippy or sippy cup you can make a big deal about. Good luck!

I don't think it's child abuse. If any intervention is going to happen, it sounds like it will need to start with your sister. I know she has already raised her kids, if that is her excuse then she should not be babysitting. Someone needs to teach this child proper nutrition and behaviour NOW. Your sister needs to tell mom and dad that when Kelly is in her care she will adhere to the rules of grandma's house.

Is your sister worried that if she intervenes, Tammy and Timmy will not allow her to see Kelly? I've seen that form of punshiment happen to grandparents, so they just go along to keep peace.

Thanks for the opinions and suggestions.

I agree with the above. I cringe when I see toddlers with soda in their bottles. Awful for their teeth-wonder if they are brushed properly? You HAVE to take care of baby teeth-you don't get to start over when they fall out. My friend works in a dental office and could tell you horror stories about kids teeth already rotting at such a young age.

Milk and water would be best, but I bet Kelly already has a taste for soda. Most juices have some kind of vitamins and food stamps will buy certain kinds.

>> Both parents are somewhat retarded.

I think I understand what you mean. The parents are challenged, correct? In addition to what others have said, I think it's very important that you sister sit with them and make sure that they understand how to never allow this to happen again. In other words, birth control.

I lost my first post...I guess I needed to think my reply over, but it does make me upset to learn about this situation. They happen too frequently.

First it is tragic for that child. Then it is also tragic for the Gramdma for the reasons already posted. The future does not look bright for that child. This is what I think:
1.Grandma is "reacting" to the situation. Most likely it has been a "situation" ever since the pregnancy began. (Bad start)
2.She may not realize that she still has the responsibility to raise HER son to be a responsible adult and father of that child.
3. There are steps that MUST be taken to improve the quality of that childs life and maybe SHE has not seen the contribution and the DIFFERENCE that she can make by continuing to help her son to grow up. Otherwise...well, we have added two more lost souls to our society.
4. The young man should be gently persuaded to spend a set amount of time interacting with his daughter. Feeding, stacking blocks, reading...what ever...one on one...quietly TOGETHER. Maybe 15 minutes at first...increasing each day or as often as possible. He should not get a 'free pass'. He (CARE LESS LY) created this child and if she is 'just another "carelessly created human being" she should be in a different home.

I feel very strongly about the responsibility of this older generation. Some of us (over 50's) didn't do the best job raising OUR kids; and our kids are doing a worse job raising more un-cared-for little human beings. Not all, for sure; but too many.

Most of the posters have focused on nutrition...and while it IS important; the well being of the child...the lack of "caring" that I hope I have mis-read is so much more disastrous.

BTW Fifty-five is NOT to old to be raising grandchildren! Grand Parents are doing it by the thousands every single day. I know them. I have seen them. I am lucky that I have not been one of them, but I am so proud of the contribution I have made to the lives of my grand kids and the rewards are SO very worth the effort is takes to change the the "situations" and "directions" that some young parents are simply not equipped to navigate....and extended (as in close grandparents) families are a thing of the past.

BOTTOM LINE IS....create the environment for that child that she is entitled to have for as many minutes..moments...hours..days as you can. With DADDY as much as you can. IF anyone has a child for more (or less) than15 minutes...it should be the BEST 15 minutes of its day (or life). Children deserve to know that when they enter the room, they are the most important part of your day. (Maya Angelou said that!)

Stepping down from my soap box.

I'd stay out of it IMHO

You really can't police what people feed their kids. Judging from what I see at the grocery store, this child isn't an anomaly, even though the food is crap.

Since it's your sister, you could talk to her, once, but that's about it, I think.

I can tell you that it is a regular occurrence to go out shopping at some places and see plenty of little ones with a bottle or sippy cup full of soda, it happens a lot, it always has. It is not a good idea but it is not considered child abuse, if it was there would be a LOT of people in big trouble.
Not everyone makes the same decisions, some not so bright decisions but not ones that would be considered abuse.

I know a couple, both have down's syndrome, they married and have 4 children, all the children are exceptionally intelligent and basically run the show and take care of their parents. They all love each other immensely. Certainly not what I would have suggested for them but it works, they are happy and all healthy.

so everyone has their own thoughts and opinions on things like this. Who is right and who is wrong? I too would make an attempt at letting them know there are better healthy options but that is about as far as I would take it. I am sure they already know all that anyway.

What your sister doesn't seem to understand is that if you take some time to discipline a child, in the long run life is so much easier for everyone.

adellabedella's and toni_ne's posts are my thoughts and nanny98 made some great points too. This is going to be a disaster. She's an aggressive kid to start, plus she's a spoiled brat with incompetent parents. Not a good combination. Face it, the kid will grow up dining on McDonalds and Dominos and with the way things sound, well I'm glad I won't be the kid's teacher.

One thing though, juice is not that much better an option when fed from a bottle. Some friends would always give orange juice in the bottle to their first daughter and her teeth were rotted out from the sugar in it. The dentist set ma & pa straight on that quickly. If it's in a bottle it's formula, milk or water only.

Kudos to you Jannie for taking a stand and trying to do something. Few would. Maybe you can suggest some things to your sister to help not only the child but your sister as well. Good luck.

And FWIW, in my state you can't buy just anything with food stamps. And WIC is tighter yet on the controls.

Hmm I thought it was a standard but maybe it differs by state. I live in MA and you can use the EBT card on any food except alcohol and pet food. I've gone shopping with my friend who gets food stamps and she fills her cart with all sorts of processed crap and pays it all on the EBT card just like a debit card. She's even bought a cake from the bakery with it for a birthday. I know WIC is much stricter and I think that's better. My friend's poor kid grows up on cookies and hot dogs.

I'm guilty of the coke thing...My kids got soda when they were little so did my grandkids...they all have great teeth...This was not everyday...and it wasn't a bunch but I don't believe it hurt them any.

Some people go over board on the giving and some go overboard on not giving. neither way is good. Just love em and meet in the middle. They will be fine.

Milk in a bottle, especially if used to pacify a baby to sleep, will also cause teeth to rot.

I see the future clearly for this child, and it isn't pretty.