apostca, your mother must have been related to mine. That is a saying that she firmly ingrained in me too.

Sorry he hurt your feelings. Just consider where it came from.

What Paula said!!! How would he have known it was the biggest if he wasn't paying attention???? Dont let him get to you..he's probably got a world full of issues and is just bitter and needs to take it out on others. He's not worth your effort.

Thanks for replies. My Mom use to also say, "Consider the source.", before you let something get to you. What bothers me is that I let it bother me. If you know what I mean.
Clare

Paula's 100% right! I know I would have laughed at it. Think how he'd have felt if you'd laughed. What an as-.

Are you sure he was talking to you? If so I think you should have shoved the tidbit up his left nostril.

Or you could of looked very sympathetic and said it must be so difficult for him to live with his disorder. When the oaf asked "what disorder" you just smile sweetly and say you do have tourettes right, or are you just normally a horses....?
Ahhhh hindsight. LOL

Please let it go Clare. I have met you and a bit of fluff doesn't hide your inner and outer beauty. Your size isn't the issue,his ugliness is and he can't change that.

Well do tell...what was the Sample and did you buy it? LOL! I love hanging around for those Samples and I would look for the biggest piece. LOL!

The Guy was a jerk and probably thought he was funny.

Gayle

I had a guy nearly run over me in the parking lot at Walmart once...I said something to the lady next to me....
He squealed his tires backing up to start yelling at me...calling me filthy names and a lot of "fat" things..

When I got in the store I ran into him again...he was fat too....

I laughed at him and said..."Well...look who's calling the kettle black, your no skinny mini either".....He started yelling again...I just smiled and walked off.

Just ignore...

People like him just have no joy in them...they speak hatred. I feel sorry for them. They are the ones loosing not you or me.

patti

I'm sorry it's still bothering you. Take the advice of the smart people above.

He'll get his one day, just take comfort in that and in knowing that he has to live with his miserable self and YOU DON'T! There, now you should feel better!

What a jerk. I could almost feel sorry for peeps like him if they weren't so aggravating and occasionally mean.

Clare, you will get over this fast once you're done venting about it, so vent away! And if you ever see him again, accidently run over the back of his ankle with your cart. :) It really hurts, I know. lololol J/K, kinda.

Have you identified exactly what about this still bothers you? If it's that you didn't come back with a smart retort, try rehearsing what you will say the next time some stranger says something rude. Here's what to say: nothing. Honestly, the best response under those circumstances is no response at all.

I'm guessing that it bothers you that you apologized to him. If that's the case, console yourself with the thought that he's already forgotten it. Someone like that is too busy spouting off his mouth to listen to what anyone else says.

I am so sorry that you had your feelings hurt!
That guy was a jerk, and I bet you weren't the
only one that he said something nasty to yesterday.

Ditto what everyone else has said. I hate rudeness, there is no reason for it. I too think he was upset because he didn't get it first! After an incident like this you always think of things you could have/should have said. I wish I could come up with a quick comeback sometimes! Sometimes it's right there and other times I am totally blank! That's the only time I tolerate my rudeness...when it's coming out of my mouth and I'm retaliating! LOL...let it go, he isn't worth the worry!

I think maybe he was just mad you took the biggest piece and that his comment didn't even have anything to do with your weight and that he would have said it even if you were a skinny 8 year old kid... He was just mad or noting that someone, anyone took the biggest piece.

Sometimes we are so self conscious that we think things are directed towards us personally when they are not. He just sounds like a crabby old man who wanted the big piece for himself. I could see myself saying the same thing to my husband or vice versa if we were at the store together and that happened. It would have nothing to do with our weight, we'd just be joking around. Of course we know each other, but maybe this guy just really has a bad sense of humor.

I mean, say they were samples of kleenex boxes and there was one bigger one and you took it over the other smaller kleenex boxes before he could take it; could you see where maybe this man would have said the same thing? Or, no?

I agree - it's hard to let it go once some ass---- spouts off for a stupid reason. I had a crazy woman yelling at me in the market about a month ago. Long story but the jist of it is, I wasn't even talking to her when I originally said something to another shopper about the narrow aisles in this old store. My DH heard her & before I could say anything back, he took over for me. I do think she had some mental issues & it's scary to think they walk among us.
I think it is true that venting helps a lot so vent away all you want. I can truly relate.

A man said, "Of course YOU would take the biggest piece!"
I can see me or my BGF saying that to one another in jest, maybe even attempting to draw attention to ourselves. We have been known to play like we are hassling over who was next in a line before...just for fun. BF says we are obnoxious when we are together, and he's right. We both have a kind of sicko sense of humor much like Roseanne (Barr).

It is even possible that the fella was a real jokester, and just did not realize how it sounded or might be taken by a total stranger, particularly one that is fluffy. Could it maybe have been that?

."Well...look who's calling the kettle black, your no skinny mini either".
That would have been a great comeback line for you at the time...adding a loud chuckle to it.

Sue

It was blue cheese burger, and I admit it was good but not for the price. I put my own cheese on my burgers and next time I will try blue cheese.

It was meant for me because he looked me in the eye and we were the only ones there at the time. Everyone else had left. After I got over the initial reaction, I tried to laugh it off and made a comment about this is my lunch. He didn't laugh back. What a nasty piece of work. I guess he hit a sensitive spot.

wildchild - Thank you for your wonderful comments. I know you would have come up with something witty. I wish I could have shoved it alright.
Clare

I'm sorry it's still bothering you, Clare. It would bother me too.

He's crass and not worth any more of your attention, he must really lead a lonely life.

LOL @ Wildchild - why just the left nostril? I'd treat each side equally ;0)

LOL at Zipper!

When I gained a lot of weight, my then husband used to call me a fat***. It would hurt my feelings so badly....I'd usually crawl off somewhere and cry, etc. Then I lost ALL of my excess weight (due to nerves.. wonder what caused that?!!right?). The next time he was in one of his 'moods', guess what he called me? You got it. I stood there and laughed till the tears ran down my cheeks. He never did find out what I saw as being so funny. Try to laugh it off.

Shirley

(((Clare))) I don't blame you a bit for being upset. I don't know whatever happened to manners in this world, but they sure seem to be down the tube. How DARE he make such a rude remark. It was totally uncalled for and I'd be fuming, too!!

Whew--now I feel better. But wildchild had the best idea!!! Either that, or shove it in his big mouth so he can't be spewing nasty things to strangers.

"Well ... if it troubles you that much ... here, I'll just take a (small) bite ... and you can have the rest".

o j

I have nothing to offer that hasn't been said. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt. It would have hurt me too, and I have no idea what I would have said or done. I hope it would have been something witty.

Linda

"you just smile sweetly and say you do have tourettes right, or are you just normally a horses....?"

See, now that would just make you just as much a horse's patooty as he is. DH has Tourette's and I would have been very hurt by that comment. I think your best response is no response at all. That would show you had class and that you were above such behavior. And it would prove that you took to heart what Mom taught you.

I'm so sorry you were bothered by this comment. People can be stupid.

Amen, Donna. You are so right.

My apologies to you Donna for hurting your feelings.

This reminded me of something that happened with a friend of mine. She was pushing her little daughter around in Walmart and the little one spotted a very obese man. Being innocent,she pointed and said" look at the big fat man ". My friend was mortified and apologised to the man ,who accepted graciously and smiled at her child. Out of earshot she admonished her daughter about not saying things to hurt others etc.etc.,and telling her she might hurt the "nice mans feelings"....well, wouldnt you know,they get up to the check out counter and run into the man again.The little girl then points and says" Oh theres the fat NICE man again" Not that this helps your situation, but its another example of "consider the source". The guy was an idiot.....at least the child was innocent.

That comment deserved no response at all.
He was obviously angling for the largest piece, otherwise, like you he would not have noticed.
I hate mean people.

That was just plain rude. Forget about that jerk.

This makes me realize that we don't know what effect our words will have on someone, especially a stranger. Maybe the comment was meant as a joke, though usually people laugh or smile when they say something funny, or he was in a bad mood, etc. Maybe I was being over sensitive for some reason. If it had been many years ago I would have said it was that time of the month. But I have learned something, I will watch what I say and if I am in a bad mood I won't take it out on some stranger.
Clare

I once took a sample in a store, liked it, circled back and picked up another. The clerk said "Only one to a customer." I put it down, she said, "You had your hand on it, you might as well take it." I was very embarassed. The truth was I wanted to hand it to my husband, who was in another part of the store. She really bummed me out. I rarely speak to strangers, because I'm very shy. I wish I'd said something to her.

What an a-hole...I'm sorry he hurt your feelings...what go's around comes around...

When I was younger, a remark like that would have hurt me also...and that still may be the case. But, as I've aged, I must have gotten a little more self confidence because I "would" have said something back now. My husband told me (after one such incident) you should be careful, some people carry guns :o) But...I was minding my own business and was verbally attacked for nothing that I had done wrong...but there "are" crazies out there....

A simple response that would point out the hypocrisy of his remark would be "Oh I apologize for not saving it for you" but unfortunately it's hard to think of a clever comeback when one is in a state of shock. And the sarcasm probably would have been too difficult for his feeble brain to decipher anyway

When I was younger I was way to shy to say anything back to someone. Not anymore though. Maybe I would have said something jokingly back to the guy. Possibly,,,Your to late bud. Get back! or Darn right I get the big piece!

He could have said something more direct,, THAT would hurt my feelings too, but a smart butt comment from another fluffy, I would let it go in one ear and out the other. imo, you can too.

What fun it would have been to dump it down the front of his shirt! Here you crap for mankind, eat this and all you nasty comments too!
(ahhhhh...I would never, but think it would feel good. lol)
What an as$ he was to have even said anything that was not nice. A miserable person no doubt.
I am so sorry you are hurt. Do something really nice for somebody just out of the kindness of your heart next time you go in public. Kick him in the butt in your own way. HA!

Some people just don't know when to be quiet. I have been insulted on several occasions by people that have no manners, and it still bothers me today.
I am sorry this happened to you.

Trin

I'm sorry that old fart hurt you. I doubt he was referring to your weight. He was probably mad because he had his eye on the big one.

Pattico, you had me LOL reading your story. Loved it!

Thanks everyone for your wonderful support and all the kind comments. You have all made me feel so much better.
Clare

Now me, I'm not quick witted enough to come up with a good statement to reply back....but I can almost bet I'd have said "Up yours" or "Stick it where the sun don't sh*ne" and walk away. The fellow was rude...and I for one couldn't turn the other fat cheek!

I said something today that came out wrong. DH and I were sitting at the Subway area of WalMart and he had his oxygen tank in a shopping cart. A lady came by and the cart was blocking her. I said to DH "we're in the way" I was disgruntled at myself for leaving the cart there but she thought I was miffed at her. When she came back I thought she was coming through the same area again and I said " do I need to move this?", she was going another direction that was wide open and it sounded like I was being a smart a**. She quietly said "no" but she seemed upset.

Rude people like that really don't deserve the human effort required to reply. A stranger in a bar, years ago, made a similar comment years ago on a day I was feeling very secure and at my witty-pithy best. To him I replied, "and what's that thing following you around? A mack truck?"

I'm sorry he hurt your feelings and being nasty back doesn't make it right, I know. Now, running into his ankles with your shopping cart would make me feel much much better...LOL

I hope you are feeling better!

Lori

Clare, I think I know what you mean. When someone says something rude, you wish you had a good comeback at the time. I never seem to have one and then stew over it for a long time. I know it's dumb, but I do it. I am a preschool teacher and I also work retail a couple nights a week. Some customer made a rude comment about teachers (after hearing I was one), and since then I have come up with SO many things I could've said.

It's hard. We know it's best to let it roll off our back, but it hurts. We don't understand how someone could be so mean. It's happened to me over and over again, but it will always hurt me.

Sheryl

I have met Clare and am here to say that I am at least as fluffy as she is, and that she's not only great-looking, but also very amusing!

Clare, I am so sorry that this happened. Many years ago, I went to public garden exchange. I was asking the man about how to plant something in a pot, and he said "Just bend over and put it in the ground. You look like you could use the exercise." I was so humiliated and I just walked away.

People don't realize how hurtful weight remarks are to us fluffies of the world. And Clare, you are so much a better person than that jerk.

I know that I would have looked him straight in the eye and said absolutely nothing and would have stood right there and eaten the sample. Just to be mean, I might have attempted to have another one. Sheesh, what rudeness! But you had no need to apologize, you didn't do anything rude or wrong.

What a a--hole. Some people have more nerve then brains.

I might have said "Bite Me" or just walked away from the jerk.

sable_ca - Thank you for your kind words. You are so sweet. Sorry to hear that jerk was so rude to you. Us Fluffies have to stick together! LOL

Thanks to everyone again. You all are great and really cheered me up. I don't feel so bad any more. The heck with him! But why are people so mean, especially to strangers. I just don't get it.
Clare

"I was reaching around a couple of people and just took the sample that was closest. A man said, "Of course YOU would take the biggest piece!""

There is no excuse for his rudeness and I am sorry he hurt your feelings. I'm not defending him, but from his perspective, could he have thought you were butting in?

Once at Costco (they must attract odd ones)a woman yelled at me to make up my mind where I was going. She was really angry, and I still don't know what I did to pi$$ her off. From her perspective, I'd really done something! I didn't bite back, just told her I was sorry I made her so angry.

Some people are so bitter. It really surprises them when you don't fight back. It is often hard to hold back, though.

Good points. I was reaching around them because they had their sample, but didn't move out of the way, eating it there while blocking the booth. I hate that. I always move out of the way to some quiet corner to eat mine.
Clare

A lot of things can upset us and for each of us it'll be different. Sometimes things can be said innocently and it will be taken wrong or someone will be offended or whatever. Sometimes it's intended to offend. Sometimes people are jerks and stupid.

This guy isn't worth worrying over. Don't torture yourself over it. Make a game out of it! Start thinking about some good comebacks and truly make a game out of it, like I should have said yes I had to grab it quick before you shoved it into your mouth with the 17 OTHER pieces you've helped yourself to! Or I couldn't see it with you grazing there in the way. Or whatever else you can think of.

I've always tended to bite my tongue, but I'm getting more crotchety and started to fire back a little bit. Wish I'd do it more!

And Jannie, for that comment, I think I'd be tempted to pat down all the junk they had out there! No, I'm sure I wouldn't... but it's fun to think about isn't it? :)

I probably would have said something nasty....but, that's the way I am. I agree, no remark is probably best. Or...I might have just handed it to him and said, "Here...you take it. Looks like you need it more than me."

But..you know, this had gotten us all thinking. I'll bet all of us will have a good comeback if someone treats like that soon :o)