I am having the same problem , i know my husband for 7 years but married a year and half my son was 7 when we met, he decided to call him daddy but he was okay and he started treating my son badly, i left in 2019 for him to get help, he did and we got married in 2020 he was good to my son in the entire 2020 till our marriage in dec 2020 my son got on very well with him then we moved into a house he bought and then the nonsense started he shows no love and reprimands my son all the time and we have to walk on egg shells with him, he treats my son badly and says i dont shout at my son or reprimands him which i always do and give him the rope to discipline him, but nothing my son does or say is right in his eyes, i left in may 2022 and he still is picking on my son ,but even he did go for counselling but nothing has changed i cannot expose my son to this, because i choose my son all the time, and i will always, my son is 12 now, and he does not want to ever see my husband again and he said he will never ever call him dad he has damaged my child and therefore i will never go back, he is toxic and a narcissist, he has uprooted my son and my life so many times and i have had enough and i am done, i love my child too much to allow him to treat him this way, i love my husband as well, but at the end what is the sense in having a house but not a home.My son is my life and i will not allow anyone to treat him that way, i dont deny my son does things and is naughty as well, but to be treated like you always wrong is not on, my son talked about suicide as well, so that we can be happy and that pushed me over the edge,i wont lose my child to a man, i also have cancer and he is the one that is aggravating my cancer because i stress so much what is he doing to my son, we are emotionally abused by this man, he walked away from 2 marriages because of the children and by the way it way his own so there is no way he will tolerate mine. any advise for me

I am in the same situation. It’s New Years Day and I am lying here depressed. My adult son came to temporarily live with me and my new husband of 2 years about 7 months ago. He asked and my husband said yes. My husband decided not to charge him rent or anything, even told him he can eat what we eat, wash clothes, basically our home is his home. We have a written agreement which we all signed. My son takes out the garbage and cuts grass, clean his room & bathroom. He’s making plans to move back out as agreed. He has savings. Is my son perfect? No, but he is not disrespectful. Other than not walking around the house naked, nothing else has changed in our marital relationship. My husband took it upon himself to step in as a father to my son and even asked my son if that was ok. His biological father…didnt do his job and has no real relationship with him. My husband and son get along fine. However i know my husband is faking it. If my son makes one mistake or forget something, my husband is very critical and judgemental. He complains to me telling lies about my son and says hateful things about my son. i love my husband but this is unacceptable to me. i am beyond hurt and angry. My son doesnt even know how my husband really feels. What brought to this post…my husband thought my son had left and left the door unlocked at 2am. My son was actually outside. Anyway all i literally said was to tell him and immediately he accused me of coming to my son’s defense and starts going off. I am confused. If someone does something wrong or forgot something, isnt the natural thing to do is tell them? What did I say wrong? There is so much more I could say to paint the picture of everything that has gone on. I dont want a divorce but this is too crazy!

LOL Joanna! My family is a gang of their own! I have 2 tattoo's. A hummingbird and flower on my left ankle. (done in 2 visits) and a flaming heart on my right hip area with DH's initals in the center of the heart. DH has the most beautiful tattoo I've ever seen. A tigers head and paw. Its bigger than he thought it would be when they started. He's gotten SO many comments on it that its a great work of art! Very detailed. DD's each have an ankle tat (one has a vine twining around the entire ankle and the other has a small blue heart) alao youngest DD has Chinese symbol on her right shoulder. DS has a Star on the inside of his bicep. (dunno why? LOL) and has on his left arm Madison (written vertical) with Paige on the right arm. Maddie loves it and she knows it is so she will ALWAYS be with her Daddy. Ooops, just remembered DS also has a Chevy emblem on his chest....that was done when he was 18 and he is still a motorhead at 27!

Really you know the answer already. It's right there in what you've written. I think we women, perhaps more than men, don't want to make changes, we don't want to admit that we've made a mistake, that things are bad, that somebody's not our friend. But it's right there in your post: this guy is not your friend. He is bad news, & his kids, unsurprisingly, are bad news. These things don't get better, they get worse. I wish you the best.