Usually one of the men picks up the tab if it's only 2 couples. More than 2 couples....the men split the tab evenly.

When we go with friends, we all know that it's Dutch treat. Getting together with friends is fun, and not to put a financial burden on anyone. Everyone I know is comfortable with the arrangement. Usually if there are two or more couples, the waiter will ask in advance if dinner is on one tab. Usually, for some reason, it's the wives who ask for separate checks.

I think it depends on what you all want to do but truthfully, I think it is better to ask for seperate checks and here is the reason why...It's much easier to go out to eat and pay for two people than it is to pay for four...and since everyone might have a different amount of money to spend...I think it is just easier to have each couple pay their own way and then you can better plan in advance going out to eat...Now we are retired and all of our money comes out of the same pot...but if you live pay check to pay check...it could make a difference in whether you can go out or not...and it's really the fair way to do it...each couple pays their own way.

We have two couples that we go out to dinner with often. We always just split the bill three ways. We go to dinner with DH's sister and her husband quite often too and we always just split the bill.

You said, "If you invite friends to a reastaurant", right?

If I invite friends/family out to eat, of course, I pay the bill. I wouldn't expect my guests to pay in a restuarant, any more than I'd charge them for dinner if I invited them to my home.

On the other hand, if it's more of a 'let's all get together and do something' kind of outing--with everyone having input, then it's more of a do your own thing (pay your own way) kind of event.

Really, though, it just depends upon what you're comfortable with, and what's the custom in your area of the country and among your friends.

I should think if the wife is asking for separate checks, that is what she is wishing you all had been doing all along. Perhaps they are having to watch their pennies, although they wouldn't want to have to say that, and have been ordering a less expensive meal. I know I had to hear for years from my SO when we were with a large group (they were my deceased husband's family) and the bill was split. He belonged to AA and didn't appreciate having to chip in for meals for those who ordered drinks.

As for it always being the women who ask to have the bill split, I don't think it is in a man's personality to admit to wanting to do something like that.

What Azzalea said.

If you invited them to dinner, then you pay.
Our group of friends usually just split the bill.
If someone isn't having cocktails, they usually just pay a little less.
We never ask for individual checks.
We never sit and add up each person's part.

I eat out often with friends----separate checks!

Depends on how you word the invitation."We want to take you out to eat," means our treat.
"We are going out to eat,want to go along?" Means you pay for your own.
If it is someone inviting me that maybe I don't know as well,I always ask for separate checks.Sometimes they will say they are getting it,sometimes not. I think that takes some of the pressure off and is less embarrassing than not knowing for sure before you order.
I know my friends well enough to be able to state exactly who will pay.We do often take their check and pay for it though and they do the same for us at times.

I invited my husband's brother and wife to a restaurant for Brazilian Barbecue, to celebrate DH's birthday. we paid the whole bill. We brought our own wine; That saved us some money. Normally, if we eat out with others, we split the bill. Not "I had the lamb, you had the vegetables" but rather, let's split 50-50 or we pay the bill, you leave the tip. I figure it all averages out. I like being generopus,I'm a big tipper besides.

We go out so rarely that this isn't an issue for us. However, we went to a new Chinese restaurant awhile back and called some friends to see if they wanted to meet us there. They did, and DH paid.

It depends on who we go out with. It is generally a hey lets get together thing and go eat someplace. We have some friends that I would consider to order normal meals like our family does. We have other friends that order the biggest steak, shrimp, ect. and then only eat a small portion of it. They also think it is horrible to take left overs home. These people I do have problem with paying the whole tab as it chaps me to no end to be wasteful like that. Maybe they were raised that way. I always had to clean my plate when I was growing up and I still do to this day. If they aren't going to eat it all I think they should order more reasonable portioned meals. But that is not my business and that is why I feel comfortable asking for separate checks.

I agree with azzalea. We do it the same way.

You should have heard XDH and his DB split hairs on the check when our two families went out to eat. XSIL and I would be so embarrassed! When I go out to eat with friends we usually ask for separate checks.

When Mom and I go out we always ask for seperate checks. If we meet this other couple (maybe once a year, and my Mom's friends) we still ask for seperate checks. Mom and I both like a glass of wine before we eat, and maybe another with our meal. I don't want anyone paying for my bar tab, which is usually as much as the meal, so I prefer to pay my own tab. If they want to grab Mom's check and pay it, fine with me, and I don't feel slighted at all. I just drive Mom so she can meet her friends, and go along for the good food, cause we always meet at my favorite restaurant.
Leslie

Most of the time when we go with this one couple he drives and we buy the meal(one meal). Because the distance is about 1-2 hours. But then we only do this about once every 3-4 months.

In my closest group of friends, we always ask for seperate checks.. some of them drink quite a bit so their bill can be more than I'd like to pay. If we are invited to each others homes we always bring our own drinks and a appetizer or snack to share.

With other people it's a little trickier.

If DH and I are out with another couple it could go any of those ways. Our treat, their treat, split it, or separate checks. It is clear by the invite if one/other is paying full, someone says "Our treat." Otherwise, it's assumed to be divided one way or the other, and it just doesn't matter to us how. IMO, as long as it's done upfront it's all OK, but it's inappropriate to wait until the bill comes to figure out how to handle it.

If I go out to dinner with just other women I ask for a separate check b/c I don't drink and won't split the alcohol tab. Too many strange experiences, like different definitions of "fair share." It rarely turns out well when it's just divided among a group. I went to one "moms' night out" once with a group of 3 other women. They decided to divide the check 4 ways. I was not happy as they all ordered 2-3 drinks and I drank my unsweet iced tea. AND I drove so they could indulge in those drinks (I never drink and they know it). How rude, designate me driver then charge me 1/4 of your drink tab! I was offended, and I don't think I'm easily offended. I was too stunned by their sense of "fair."

I never accepted an invitation from them again.

We do what Azzalea does. Except when we go out with hubby's best friend and hubby's mother, then we take turns paying the whole bill.

Same as Azzalea.

Azzalea's method(s) make a lot of sense ... as usual.

ole joyful

Another in agreement with Azzalea.

Sounds good Azzalea. I love to go out to eat and "try" a new mixed drink and it gets pretty pricey.

Gayle

Yep, if we do the inviting as in "we want to take you out for dinner Friday night", we pick up the tab. If it's a "what do you think about meeting for dinner Friday night", then it's dutch treat.

My friends and I always split the tab. It is assumed everyone will be paying for themselves unless someone specifically says "I want to take you out to dinner".

Used to rotate paying when we would go out on a regular basis. Especially if it's a birthday, anniversary type thing involved. But that would be cumbersome if there was a single person with a couple of couples! Now basically it's decided up front during discussion of whether to go and where to go, it's now usually separate checks. Just makes things easier. Except the occasional thank-you for some help or something.

Plus I like a separate check thing since I tip very well for excellent service. Some people I've been out with don't and it's embarrassing when you've received top-notch service.