bedroom antics...

18 years ago

gotcha curosity aroused anyway...right? just wondering, do you make your bed top to bottom (comforter, decorator pillows, etc) every AM or PM depending on your schedule or just straighten as you go to bed for the day?

Sometimes old habits are hard to break as I was a "straightener @ bedtime" for years, but when we placed our place up for sale with a realtor, I became obsessed with "making the beds" every day just in case she called for a drop in showing....now, after more than 15 years, I still have a hard time just "tossing the covers". how about you....

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Comments (27)

sue_va
18 years ago
You just had to ask that today, didn't you?

I make my bed very shortly after I get up, sometimes immediately.

But today I didn't, and so far haven't!! I was checking in here and at Djuma and playing Bookworm and time just slipped away. I'm on a roll at BW; score is 597,680 right now. Time for a break.

Sue

No point in making it now, is there?
brenda_in_tx
18 years ago
Ours is made up every morning as soon as we get up.
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What a tough day, you are a hero, you know. And a good vent can be very satisfying. What about putting her in an Adult Day Care program every day. They are very good, it will give her a chance to get out of the house and do things, and give you the break you need. They are well worth it. Your mother sounds bored - she's needs to "keep busy" and she finds whatever catches her eye, and does it, even if it makes no sense to you. Of course she doesn't want to go to a nursing home, not too many of us wake up and decide today is the day to move to a nursing home. But it looks like it's time to get her out of your home. It's not doing your or your granddaughter any good having her there with this much chaos and anger and frustration. The tables have turned, now you and your husband have to make that decision, and see that it gets done. But..... once there, she'll be fine, she'll be happier there than at home with you. Good nursing homes have lots of activities and lots of supervision, and good care. And your weekly visits with her will be a treat, not an ordeal. Medicare won't pay for a nursing home unless she needs it for sub-acute rehab - and then only for a short time. If she has no money, Medicaid will pay for her care. If she has money, that would go toward nursing home expenses, she must get some money every month - Social Security/pension, etc. Why do you think you have to pay the entire cost? Your energy should go towards taking care of yourself, your husband and your dear granddaughter - his mother should not be at the top of the list. You know you are not going to hurt her, or your grandchild. That leaves you, and your marriage. And if your husband leaves, you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he'll leave his mom with you. LOL You are doing an amazing job, and have every right to be angry with her, even if she doesn't know what she did. It's still a waste of your time, money and the food you prepared. My mother had Alzheimers, for 15 years, and my dad took care of her for most of that time, and she became very difficult. After 10 years, we sat down with dad and said that it was time to move to a retirement community, he fought us for almost a year. After they moved, he loved it, said it was the best thing he ever did. After a few years, we insisted mom go to adult day care, and he fought that, but she loved it, and he could finally do some things for himself. The next year it was clear that it was time for her to move to the nursing home in their retirement community. She had become violent and was hitting him, and didn't sleep at night. She got out of their apartment a few times, even with an alarm. Even so, he fought that too, but the move went well, she was much happier and so was he. She died 9 months later. My dad lived for 6 more years. For 4 1/2 years, he remained in his own apartment, with some help after he had a stroke. Eventually he moved to the assisted living facility, and 3 months later, to the nursing home in the retirement community. He died there a year later. Both of my parents had excellent care, they loved the staff, and we were confident we'd made the right decisions. Take a deep breath, have a good cry, and hug that wonderful granddaughter and dear husband.
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Thanks sap1967 & vivian31 for listening and responding. It is so nice to have a place where people can relate and understand how you feel in these stepparenting situation. I made it through the day with ss. It was difficult but did it. He continues to think everything that DH and I have is his too. Ss demonstrates this with things like, "our house dad", "our land dad" "our automobile", etc. the list goes on and on. He never paid one penny for any of these things and it bothers me that he thinks it is his. And he has really never worked hard or helped us out by working for us. I work very hard for my money and I have paid for these things along with DH. He can't even hold a part time job. At 20 yr old you think he would start working and get his own things. Will that come with time? Let me know what you think. He acts like a child and when he gets DH husband alone asked for money related things or asked DH NOT to take bio mom back to court. DH is taking his ex to court so he can stop payments to her. There are no more minor children(ss is the youngest), she has a job, makes the same as DH, does not pay anything towards her children, and still gets monthly money from DH. Just doesn't seem right to me or anyone else I talk to. When we arrived home their was another insurance claim from the other step child (24 yr. old) saying she has another health claim. She goes to the doc when she feels like becuase she feels her skin is bad. Her face has a few pimples on it, nothing major. DH call her to check on it and she is not paying the doc bills, good old dad is. SD goes to college (grad school), does not work but has time to train for a marathon, go on trips and party with friends. Here we go again paying on another one I get so upset with all this step parenting stuff. I know it will continue until these step kids grow up and learn responsibility. And when DH wakes up and stops giving all the time, which you both have said he most likely will not. I just want to stress that it is great to have a place to vent and release all this stuff. I have found this site helpful in getting things out and feeling a little less frustrated. By saying things I have, it does not mean that I treat my step kids poorly or anything like that. It just means that it is difficult to deal withthese situtions. Thanks for listening.
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Well I think i can give you a different perspective. On Sd and they way she is, i understand. I lost my mother to cancer when i was 11 1/2 years old. So...looking back on those years now, i now see that i was also a very negative , angry individual. I felt that life was unfair and that i was jipped by my mother's death. I focused alot of hate on my own father and i wasnt' the most warm person when he tried to meet woman. My first SM was to me terrible. Not to me but to her kids and i was indifferent to her. My second was amazing. Why? She did'nt infringe on my space. Thought or physical.She let me go to her ...not the other way around. You said you spend money and alot of time to get to know her and fix her room....a bonding when she was no where near being ready to do that with you. I understand your intention were good. I dont think you are a bad person...but it was too soon for this year and she was just thrown into your house without the choice. Plus grandma sounds like a B**ch....So that didn't help you cause. Your husband. Is an *ss for what he has done to you as a friend adn partner in marriage. I would be more concerned with him. He sounds like my husband who didnt' want couciling either...so i basically told him that we are either on the same page or we are not. The day i see him taking his kids side over me , is the day we divorce. I made it very clear to him. The kids fall under the marriage. UNDER the parents. THey are not equal to the parents or more important. All the kids...bio, or step.. THe main issue to address is your husband. Speak to him and stand you ground with him to clear state you treat each child the same and his daughter will be no different. You've put time and effort and she hates you?? Normal, she has emotional issues. Sit down with hubby and tell him how you feel and tell him you were hurt by his comment. That sd is part of our family and will be treated the same...she should not be treated special because mommy died. .....Does she also have biopolar???? This could also be an issue of behaviour. Question...How was your SS with you ? Was it good? Was your husband at his defense when something came up divided or did he agree with you? Cause if he was fine with him , then you should remind your hsuband how he was with his son and you and that sd does not and will not get any special treatment. In the end , if he continues to act this way, warn him it will be the demise of your marriage. If he wants to do that its his choice but you know what, pull back from her and let her dad handle her. Take care of your daughters and when she mouths off to them, you defend them tooth and nail and take it on with your hubby. Go to counciling for your own piece of mind...you can't force you husband but you can put your foot down with him..and if he doesn't like it...sorry tosay...tell him to take the door. You are either a team or you are not. Yes its harsh..but i noticed that some men here are wishy washy with their daughters and need to have it put straight in their face without suttletees... I have a friend of mine , whos' friend at work divorced because daddy put their own daughter above the marriage..well....they divorced and dad has custody because mom doesnt' want her. Its sad..it happens...but its a crazy world. 1. Take a break from her and step back. 2. Go to counciling and see what they say. 3. Keep open honest calm communication with hubby for now. 4. Let him handle her. She views you with hate because she has alot of emotions to deal with....leave her have some space. Its important. 5. Concentrate on your girls now and leave her with dad...it will be divided for a time but it wont last forever. 6. Connect with hubby again and keep connected for your relationship.....because if that goes...its dangerous for the futur. Tell him you will back off on sd but that he must be responsible for her since she has issues with you. 7 . YOU: Expect nothing from her...no cleaning..no chores...her homework? your hubbies problem....expect nothing...Focus on your girls. Your sd is angry, hurt and still trying to get over the loss of her mom...she sees you in the 'mother' position and she hates that...not you personally. She is too young to separate the two. She'll be like this for a while...i know..i went through it. Give her space.
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jannie
18 years ago
I never make my bed. I have just a bottom sheet and a large blanket. I pull up the blanket and I'm done.
patti43
18 years ago
Have to make it every day--just HAVE to. I'm anal!
nodakgal
18 years ago
I'm sorta with Sue! Just had to ask today didn't ya?
I make it every morning, throw the pillows in the shams on top and it looks so good! LOL
This morning was one from hell, it hasn't even had the covers thrown up and the pillows in the shams are still sitting in the rocking chair where I put them last night when I went to bed!
mad_about_mickey
18 years ago
Well, if I am the last one out of bed it gets made . But if someone-who-won't-be-named is last getting out it remains rumpled.
kayjones
18 years ago
When I arise every morning, I throw the covers to the bottom of the bed so it can 'air out', spray it with Fabreze, then make in about an hour later.

Today is an exception - I haven't made it today - I think I might take a nap!
bunglogrl
18 years ago
Sign my name to mad about mickey's post...
ruthieg__tx
18 years ago
I always make my bed...even when I worked 10 or 12 hours a day, I made my bed. I think it stems from the fact that it was the one easy thing to do in the way of housekeeping and it made a big difference in the way my place looked. It would haunt me knowing that my bed wasn't made...It would torment me so bad that I would end up going to make it...Truth is I have always thought it was the height of laziness to not make the bed...Ok just slap me around but that's the way I feel.
deemarie5500
18 years ago
Another one here -- I must make it each and every day.

Of course, when I am away on a business trip, DH swears to me that he makes the bed each morning. However, he has been known to ask me several times on the phone "when does your plane arrive"? Now I tell him I have an early morning flight home so that he makes the bed before he leaves for work!

LOL!!!
lindyluwho
18 years ago
Most of the time we throw the cover back in place but I don't bother with throw pillows and such.

Linda
gadgets
18 years ago
I didn't used to make it daily. Then I started doing Flylady and now it would be foreign to me not to make my bed. It doesn't help that my bedroom is just off the living room. I leave the door open and any visitors can look right in. I much prefer it made up. BUT if you're a non-maker, it doesn't bother me at all to see YOUR unmade bed. lol

Shirley
Happy_Go_Lucky_Gayle
18 years ago
I try my best to slip into my bed like a stuffing a envelope. I don't "yank" covers or buddle. When I get up all I have to do is sweep the dog hair off of the bottem sheets and pull up the covers. LOL!

Gayle
kim_still_in_pa
18 years ago
My husband is of the opinion that an unmade bed is the equivalent of eating a sandwich that has been left out all day long without the top slice.

Odd but true.

So I attempt to throw the top slice, err, cover over the rest of the bedding on a daily basis.

Kim
firemanswife
18 years ago
I make it on the weekend. During the week my DH is last in it and the rule in our house is last one in it makes it! He just pulls the covers up but on the weekends I strip the bed and wash everything so I just take care of it.
FlamingO in AR
18 years ago
I make it as soon as my feet hit the floor, but I don't do fussy pillows unless we're expecting company. I keep them in the closet and they're very happy in there. :)

Sometimes I scoot out on Woody's side so I can do his side first, then walk around to my side to finish it up before heading towards the bathroom to brush my teeth and stuff.
dex215
18 years ago
I make it 99% of the time. Read somewhere that it takes 2 minutes to make a queen bed. Time yourself!
lydia1959
18 years ago
I've made the bed every day for years... but today (of all days) it is still unmade! I was meeting a friend for shopping and didn't have time.
caflowerluver
18 years ago
I pull the blanket and sheet up and tuck it in then prop up the pillows. But I don't pull up the bedspread or put the pillows in the shams everyday, only if I know company is coming over. I am bad!!!
Clare
Linda Wayman
18 years ago
As long as I can remember I've made my bed as soon as I got up, even when I worked 11pm to 7am shift and slept at two different times during the day. That was the story of my life til Luther, the Great Dane, came to live with us. I let the dogs out as soon as I get up then make my own trip to the bathroom. By that time the dogs are at the back door wanting in. Whenever Luther sees me heading toward the bed he jumps on it thinking I want a playmate. I shoo him off and he gets off. By the time I turn around he is back on it. This past year I have just pulled the spread up as well as I could and learned to live with it. If we are expecting company I will lock the dogs outside long enough to make it. I don't have any decorator pillows or shams with this particular bedspread.

Linda
nan_nc
18 years ago
No, I don't "make the bed." I sleep alone, and don't disturb the covers very much, so a tug to straighten them is usually all that's required. If we have company coming, all I have to to is shut the door!
gazania_gw
18 years ago
Ours is made as we get out of it. I hate, hate to see an unmade bed!
Lindsey_CA
18 years ago
Stuff that I have read recently in health-related news states that it is more healthful to not make the bed immediately upon getting up -- that you need to let the bed and bedding air out to kill any mites or other germs.
gazania_gw
18 years ago
lindsey, I have read that to, and it makes sense. But I still can't stand to leave the bedroom without making that bed.
oldrustybucket
Original Author
18 years ago
thanks lindsey_ca,
I knew if I hung around long enough I'd learn another reason besides being lazy to not make my bed! Boy I will sleep so much better tonight (12:04 am) knowing that the critters I left last night aren't there anymore! I like the idea about Fabreeze-ing it, then waiting an hour to make it, but as you can see, I'd probably spend that hour waiting...with my KT friends and still have to explain to HD what happened to that exra hour I was supposed to be using for something productive....can't win for losing!
linda_in_iowa
18 years ago
I quit making my bed several years ago. I have a very small bedroom and no one sees it except me and the cats.
joyfulguy
18 years ago
Sometims I pull the sheet and cover up.

Sometimes it stays with the covers and sheet turned back, diagonally, for an extrended period ... (sort of like, " ... all day").

Thanks for easing my slightly unsteady conscience, lindsey ca.

o j

bedroom antics...

Comments (27)

sue_va

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