Oops! I forgot to post that I received 2 huge boxes from my secret pal! October - First, a note apologizing for being late for October(had flu/hospital), which was really nice but she didn't have to do because she'd already told me in an email. I feel for anyone w/ the flu - last year was the first time in 10 years I didn't get the flu. I luaghed (sorry!) when I read PlantladyJan's post. The one year I was able to get a flu shot was the one year I had the flu the worse. Go figure! I decided this year we weren't celebrating Halloween since the kids are teenagers. We live out in the country so we don't get trick-or-treaters. Therefore, my kids were grateful for all the candy you sent. My husband does most of the cooking & will enjoy the Vidalia french onion seasoning & raspberry vinaigrette dressing. he loves cooking & experimenting with new dishes & can't wait to try the recipes in the little onion cookbook magnet or to use the onion ball that you can use in the microwave. Since I have to get up so early I've developed a love of coffee (lots of creamer, little sugar) so I'm looking forward to trying the hazelnut coffee. My pal also sent an air freshener (smells great!) & "purrfect 10" on it, 2 hand poured votive candles, a peach scented body spray that my daughter begged for, & a little jewelry box that she's also begging for. I also got a picture & frame of a cup of Earl Grey tea done in blues & white w/ a little yellow that I hung in the kitchen. I also got one of those very decorative vinegar bottles w/ flowerheads or potpourri in it. There was also a little wooden cut-out made up like a girl with a heart sign that says "I'm having a bad hair day". I'm gluing a magnetic strip to it and making a magnet out of it. I also got this candle that is just too pretty to burn. It's one of those with the flowers pressed in & is just really gorgeous. It came on a terra cotta base surrounded by potpourri. Also, a little frog you hang on flower pots, a needlepoint kit I can work on when it's too cold or icky outside. Also a pretty coffee mug w/ 2 garden-related refrigerator magnets & packets of seeds (3 kinds of squash, 1 tomato, & 1 pumpkin). As if that wasn't enough: November - set of doll-shaped notecards the girl child confiscated, an herb stake w/ seed packets (sweet marjoram, parsley, chives, lemon balm), set of magnets, a jar of candle crystals that smells heavenly (rose petals). Hubby & boy child thanks you for the sunflower seeds - what they don't eat themselves they'll feed to the chickens. There was a little wooden desktop plaque the girl child wants, a pretty plaque of a lavender plant, a photo frqame w/ memo sheets, a box of Earl Grey tea, & an agenda kit w/ a calender, addresses, & memo pad. The pkg. of sour gummy worms went over well w/ the kiddos. There was a large container of powdered cheese for making pasta. My aunt told us you can take packets of the cheese from boxes of mac & cheese, & make cheese popcorn so we're going to experiment! My weakness is ice cream so I'm not sure that the bottle of chocolate ice cream topping will last long here. Also included in the box was a cute little birdhouse, a floating candle, a little jar of natural potpourri (smells great!), & a candle & candleholder set. I also like the garden-themed picture frame, & the yellow & white rose soap set. after the peach scented candle burns completely up, I'm going to clean the tin out & use for a pill box or to store Q-tips. Thank you pal! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! If you don't send anything at all December, I won't be offended or feel left out at all because you have more than sent your share!

LCaroline...it's not not wanting to raise a grandchild, step or biological, that's not 'popular'.It's the cold hearted attitude about an innocent child that you seem to delight in baiting with that is not 'popular'. --"I don't want to get involved in this situation and I don't give a damn about the kid other than the fact that I don't want it in my house".-- You don't give a d*mn about a child being abused. Your husband cares, but not enough to rat out his son. A drunken abusive child beater. --"he really doesn't want to call childrens' services due to his fear of getting his son in trouble-- "My husband is worry that the boy will be put in foster care if the beatings are discovered."-- For Pete's sake, do the child a favor and pick up the phone yourself before the drunken fool really hurts the little boy. Why instead run to a forum? You have a computer, look-up your state's child abuse hotline number and dial it. I seriously doubt you have anything to fear that somehow the child will be placed with you...one home interview with you and child protective services will flee from you in a d*mn big hurry.

We are going through some of this with DS and DIL who married last year. DIL, seemingly overnight, decided she did not like us before they became engaged. There were some tribulations over the wedding plans and I felt she was rude and disrespectful on more than one occasion. My son would always come over alone, unless it was a holiday or special occasion. Then there is the issue of holidays.....they revolve around her parents and their schedule. I did expect this but not quite to such an extent. The year before last we were told that they could only stop by for about an hour or two xmas eve day in the afternoon for appetizers. Well, I had not planned on doing afternoon appetizers but I did anyway.....and then everyone was too full for dinner. I was not happy having spent the day preparing food. (They spent xmas eve and all of xmas day with her folks). So, this year I took a different tack. I say...this is what we are doing and when and we'd love it if you can join us. If it fits into their schedule, great. If it doesn't, that's ok too. I've just let it go. All last year, when we would see DIL I was cordial but kept my distance after having tried on several occasions to forge a better relationship with her and getting nowhere. Well, she is slowly becoming more pleasant with us. Don't know where her new attitude came from! She just had a surprise bday party for DS and I helped with alot of the stuff and she thanked me profusely...so I am hoping we are turning a corner....but not holding my breath. But, to answer OP, let it go. You may feel disappointed from time to time but it's not going to make for a happy family by making them feel guilty when they don't want to or can't participate. As others have suggested, ask them to get together another day or weekend....it's still several weeks away. Maybe they just want to start some of their own traditions. You need to be cordial and polite to D's IL.....but you don't need to be close.

Oh boy! I remember when my kids had to bring home "baby". They had the car seat and whole smear. It cried and you had to hold the key in it for "feeding". I can't remember everything but that darn kid was heavy to hold too! LOL It wasn't a light weight doll like Madison has, I think they filled it with sand! The kids found out that sitting in bed, holding a key in the baby's back was tough at 3am!