We have a 15 year old at home. For our regular meals I do plate the food because I serve from the stove. When we have company over I do family style in the dining room. If we have lots of people over I will do buffet style.

Both! Whichever fits the occasion, and who is being seved.

When we get together, because it makes a large bunch...we set all the food on the table in the kitchen.

The dinning area is open to the kitchen. We all sit in that area and fill it buffet style. There is always enough for seconds or thirds if someone is hungry enough.

patti

I've always served family style. My DD is home from college for the summer.. but she eats like a bird, her BF is often here and he eats like.. well.. he eats a LOT! I could never fix plates for them.. it's too hard to judge how much they would want.

I don't think I've ever been served a plate of food except in a restaurant. Maybe it is a regional thing?

I always serve family style when entertaining. It's not up to me to decide what someone else might or might not want to eat--nor how much.

However, now that it's just DH and I, sometimes I plate our food to save on dirty dishes (really--a bunch of serving bowls for 2 people? That's just wasteful, IMO) Now that you've got me thinking about it--the difference is this: If I'm cooking food in pots on the range, I generally plate up the food for DH and I (we always eat all our meals in the dining room--if that makes any difference to your research--LOL). If, on the other hand, dinner is something in a casserole dish, or cooked in the microwave, and the container is appropriate for taking to the table (so I don't have to dirty an extra dish), then I serve family style.

Children--my 'one and only' is grown and out of the house. Will add this--we almost always ate family style when she was home. So guess that messes up your research, sorry. As I said--the real determining factor for me, is the number of dirty dishes I have to clean at the end of the meal. Once in a blue moon, the consideration that I'm trying to stretch a modest amount of food, so I divide it in the kitchen (DH sometimes forgets he's not the only one eating, and serves himself 90% of the food I put out, if he gets to it first!)

Never plated except when we have steak, baked potato and a salad, which is in a separate dish. When it's just the two of us, we eat out of the pots the food is cooked in. When we have a few people, I bowl it up an put it on the table. For a lot of people, it's buffet.

The same here as at Nita's house. When it's just the 4 of us, I usually take up the plates from the stove and put them on the table. Claude will go and get seconds if he wants more.

We do have 2 small children (5 and 2), but when we have company I put the food on the table so people can help themselves, but if we have too many people to do it that way, I'll put the food out on the counter and they serve themselves like at a buffet. I've never taken up plates of food for company - I don't think I've ever had anyone do that when we were visiting, either.

Always family style. It's too much trouble to remember who likes what. One of my SILs and my DH are pretty picky, so it's easier to let them serve themselves. I think it also cuts down on waste.

We were the guests last week at a friend's house and he plated. There were just 4 of us, so I guess a small number is easier to plate. I NEVER have a small number when I serve a feast!!

When it's just me and Larry here,we serve ourselves from pans on the stove.If we have company.I put the food in dishes on the table.I never "plate"...our neighbor does at Holidays when we go to their house and I HATE it....I would rather get my own food,she gives me stuff I don't like and not enough of the stuff I do like...

We always served family style. But now there is just the two of us, and there is a desire to loose weight for both of us. With that said, it is a fact, that if the food is not in front of you, (for second helpings), that you won't eat as much as if you have to get up and get it. We're trying that theory, but DH says the excerise he gets by getting up to get more, cancels it out! Can't win.

BTW, my DSIL, the chef, always plates everyone's food when we eat at his home.

I put it on plates, off the stove. Just me and the kids. But the few times I've had company I will put it out on the table in bowls. At Christmas and Thanksgiving I usually put it out on the table even if it's just me and the kids.

I have 4 kids at home, almost-15 down to 6.

Our own family meals are mostly buffet, right off the stove and/or counter. I help the younger kids or serve 'em all it it's something sloppy, like lasagna. Sometimes I plate the food for all the kids, depending on what it is, like sandwiches that I would just put together on the plate. And sometimes just to limit the chaos in the kitchen. If I plate DH's food for him he asks "what did I do to deserve this service?" LOL. I only do that to be extra nice, like he just sat down after hours of yard work and I save him the trouble of getting up again.

If we have guests it's usually casual and buffet off the kitchen table or bar counter and carried to the dining room or patio table. I would not plate the food of another adult, and I don't remember a time when someone plated my food as an adult.

Holiday meals are always on the table in serving dishes family style, and once a month or so just cuz I worked extra hard on the meal and we're going to make to-do of it, darn it!

That is pretty much how my mom would do things now and when I was at home. DH's mom, too.

I nearly always serve family style. Once in awhile, I'll have a more formal dinner party, with five or six courses. When I do that, I often plate the soup and appetizer, though not usually the main dish. I'll serve up to about 15 people seated and family style, but after that, I'll sometimes do a buffet. I don't really like buffets, though, so I try to get everyone seated, with real plates and flatware. (I *hate* eating off paper plates or eating with plastic "silverware".)

The food is plated and eaten at the table.

Another Nita style here. I like my food hot so we've always plated directly from the stove unless we have guests.

For the 3 of us, DS is 23, we plate straight from the oven or stove. When I have company, even relatives, I put the food in bowls or on platters and let everyone help themselves.
Clare

"I always serve family style when entertaining. It's not up to me to decide what someone else might or might not want to eat--nor how much."

I hate it, too ;o) Granted once in a while I serve from the stove (when it's just DH and me), but when company is over I would never plate their food. It just feels really strange to me.
Maybe the "survey" should consist of two parts: first, do you plate or serve family style, and second, when you plate do you have extra food to put on the table or when served, is that all there is (no seconds)?
I guess it's not the plating of the food that drives me batty, but the fact that the "offering" of any extra food is not forthcoming. When someone plates my food without putting the extra on the table I always feel like, "Well, that's all, folks. Hope you're not hungry."
Plating (at least in our area...might be regional?) here seems to be done by folks with kids at home. So I think the assumption, albeit unconsciously, is to plate the food because they do it for the kids and it just comes naturally.

Growing up we ate Family Style.

When my children were young we ate Family Style. But, when I divorced, their Father fed them in front of the TV on his weekends. I was furious. Their table manners became awful. I made them sit at the table family style when they were with me.

Now I usually eat alone in front of the TV or at the snack bar. LOL!

Gayle

I have kids... and I do not plate the food.

How can I guess WHAT they want and HOW MUCH of it?

Okay...so where do you think the plate vs. family style serving comes from? What makes some folks plate others' food when serving dinner to immediate family, visiting family, or friends?

I think, like everything else, different people have different lifestyles (and probably different histories). No big deal. Just as different families handle finances, discipline, decorating, and everything else differently.

I'm sure there are those who feel that plating = classy (like a restaurant). Others who feel that with plating, they can make sure the food they prepared is enough to go around (if they're on a tight budget, that may be a consideration). Others may like to have the food presented a certain way on the plate. And some of us feel if you have company over, you should offer plenteous food, lots of choices, but leave to the guest which items they want to eat, and in what quantity. Just different styles. And it makes the world more interesting than if we all did things the same.

Definitely no right or wrong when it comes to serving food. Whatever one is comfortable with is fine, right?

Whether or not I plate depends on what I am serving.

Most of our guest meals are buffet style, because usually we have a lot of people over when we have guests.

But sometimes I plate for guests. If I'm plating, usually I am fixing a very nice meal, perhaps complete with garnishes. While I always feel like I have plenty for my guests to eat, I may not have enough for them to pig out on just one thing. For example, if my appetizer is labor-intensive, I may just have a few pieces for each person. Or if my entree is something very expensive, like lobster or some expensive fish, then I may just have one piece per person. But usually it's not an expense issue, it's because that particular recipe is labor intensive. As far as I know, I always serve plenty of food, it's just that someone who needs a much larger quantity of food may need to fill up on salad or bread. I don't think I've ever plated for more than 6 or 8.

As a guest, I am just happy to be invited, whether the meal is plated, buffet or family style. I treasure the company, whether the food is hot dogs or lobster. I love to be a guest in homes where the food is plated, because most of the people I know who plate do it when they've spent a lot of effort on the meal, complete with presentation, it's very pretty and the food is delicious. I also love the relaxed atmosphere of buffet-style.

When we have many guests, all food is put on the kitchen island, countertops and stove, and everyone helps themselves buffet style, free to go back for seconds or thirds. Should a guest be handicapped and unable to get around, I would gladly plate for them. If there are only 4-6 people besides us, I serve family style.

We serve ourselves from the stove, I have done this for years maybe since the kids beame teenagers now they are all grown. If we have company I always serve buffet style which really is partly from the stove at my house there is always enough for 2nd's and 3rd's.

My DD's BF always fixes our plates for us we get our meat and he stands at the stove and serves the sides, my DH and I think it is odd but it is just his way it works.

My inlaws serve family style at dinner~~~too many dishes for me:)

How food is served, what is served, etc. is a bit of a touchy issue for me.

I think, like everything else, different people have different lifestyles (and probably different histories). No big deal. Just as different families handle finances, discipline, decorating, and everything else differently.

I really appreciate that attitude. That's the way I feel. When I'm invited to someone's home for dinner, I appreciate whatever they've done. If it's different than my own personal tastes, then I just appreciate the adventure of experiencing someone else's family culture or lifestyle.

The reason it's a touchy issue for me is this:

And some of us feel if you have company over, you should offer plenteous food, lots of choices, but leave to the guest which items they want to eat, and in what quantity. Just different styles

That's the way my MIL feels about it, but without the "Just different styles".

I've known my MIL for 30 years, and every meal I've ever had at her house offered lots of choices, tons of food, buffet-style, everything was delicious. I deeply appreciate all the effort she puts into all her meals, and they are always wonderful.

But she just can't seem to accept any other way as appropriate for guests. When we were a young married couple, we almost always invited my inlaws if we had some type of special occasion or dinner. Sometimes I did a party with a theme, or served just one special entree, etc. It always clearly upset and embarrassed my MIL that I didn't have lots of choices and tons and tons of food. She tried to make up for my deficiencies by bringing lots of extra food. I'm not talking about dinners for her extended family, in which case I keep to their customs if I'm the hostess.

In all the years I've known my MIL, her special meals have all been for family, no dinner parties with friends. And that's fine. Special meals involve 3 meats or more, all her regular every day homestyle vegetables dishes (mashed potatoes, peas, fried okra, etc.), served on paper plates. Basically the same as her every day meals, just more of it. And that is fine. It's wonderful, and I never have ever thought she should do anything different than that, I've always just been happy to eat it.

I just wish she didn't see a special meal with only one entree, one salad, one fruit, one starch, one vegetable, and one dessert, plated and served on china as an offense against my guests. Like azzalea said, it's all good.

I will be happy if you serve me on paper plates, hopefully you won't care if I serve you on china. I will be happy if you serve me mashed potatoes and peas, hopefully you won't care if I serve you marinated asparagus and fish with a garnish. I will be happy if you serve me 10 choices, all of them plain and family style. Hopefully you won't care if I go to a lot of trouble and expense to create that one special entree for you.

I could go over to someone's house, step over the toys and the laundry that needs to be folded, eat hot dogs and chips that they plated on paper plates and have a wonderful evening. So I guess it just astounds me to meet someone who thinks you shouldn't invite someone over unless you're going to have 3 meats, 5 vegetables, 2 salads, 6 desserts, and deviled eggs and serve it buffet style, in a house that's immaculate.

Whew! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!

Daisy--may I have your mother-in-law? Bless her heart, she sounds amazing, trying to please all her guests. Glad you appreciate her, even though it isn't your style.

My father always carved the meat at the table and served each plate--potatoes, meat and choice of vegetable. We ate in the dining room quite formally for all our dinners.

I have a smaller family, by one, and we eat family meals in the kitchen as a rule where I serve the plates to save on all the washing up of serving bowls.

Holiday meals include extended family, and I love to use the silver and crystal pieces from my mother and things I have too. I put out the good china, linens, sliver, sterling silver and crystal. I usually plate the meal to order (white meat or dark, yams or twice baked, etc.), and then have other foods on the table such as relishes, a few breads, butter, wines, gravy, etc. My table cannot hold all the serving plates I would put out, but the kitchen buffet line is close by for seconds either served by me or the relative who wants more. I encourage seconds and will often bring in a dish of whatever seems especially popular and pass it around.

oooh, I hate "plate" as a verb. At least, as THAT verb. I don't mind it in the "plate the silverware" usage.

But I feel as though I'm fighting a losing battle, and your use of the word is just another shot across my bow. Shucks!

I'm too lazy to put everything on the plate in the kitchen. And it would make me feel as though i am at a restaurant (which is NOT gracious dining, actually, nor is it the epitome of good manners or gracious living)

Though Miss Manners wouldn't approve of me--I set the pan right on the stove. I'm not *that* worried about dirty dishes, bcs I have a dishwasher, but I'm basically too lazy, plus the pot is keeping it warm.

Patti - LOL, no, you can't have my MIL, but yes, she is amazing trying to please everyone. And I do appreciate her efforts very much.

But I wouldn't say her style isn't my style. The vast majority of the time when we have guests over, I serve very similar to her style - lots of choices, tons of food, buffet style, paper plates. But occasionally I like to try something different.

Daisyinga, I relate! I, too, like to have dinner parties and try new, labor-intensive foods. It's just not the same as putting out a casserole or a ham or a platter of baked chicken, where it's almost no extra effort to double or triple the recipe.

Like you, I always have plenty of food, but may have limited quantities of individual foods. I figure that after appetizers, soup, salad, main dish, vegetables, starch, and dessert, just about anyone will have eaten enough. And I like to do pretty garnishes, too.

It depends.

For just the two of us we serve ourselves from pots on the stove.

If we're entertaining another couple I usually make something special. I plate it because I want it to look the way I intended. I also want it served in the order I planned. The servings are always more than generous.

For big, special, family dinners (like Thanksgiving) I serve family style with tons of food down the middle of the table.

For big, casual, gatherings everyone serves themselves from the kitchen (stove and counters) whenever they feel hungry. Some eat in the dining room, others in front of the TV, or in the back yard or on the front porch.

I don't use paper plates or paper napkins. My family and friends are accustomed to using the real deal when they come here. DH has one aunt who REFUSES to use a cloth napkin and I have no idea why. I don't know if she questions my laundering skill or if she doesn't want to get lipstick on the napkin. She simply says, "I'm not putting my mouth on that, dear" and goes to fetch a paper towel.

Just one to eat - sometimes at kitchen table, sometimes at computer, occasionally in front of TV.

Haven't seen "tracks" of a mouse in months (and baited traps sit in relaxation mode) and the cats don't get any "people food".

Let's see ... I drop some peas in a pan, beat some egg and milk, drop it on peas, then add some seasoning, occasionally some cheese.

Total amount goes from pan ... to plate ... to mouth (in increments, over a period).

Usually when I eat as a guest in someone's home, I can choose which food I choose, either from bowls/plAtters on table, or buffet (which may include hot food in pots on stove). Seldom am I offered a plate all filled ... including some stuff that I want only some or next to none of, and other food of which I might like more ... but don't have a choice. I'm used to being free to take which choices and how much of each that I choose, plus have seconds, whether at table or from buffet, which usually is available.

One trouble with plating (pardon, having the food placed on the plate by the host[ess]) is that there's no allowance for folk who may be trying to diet - except leaving stuff on the plate (which someone who worked with refugees considers somewhat wasteful).

No allowance for food dislikes .. or possible/certain allergic reactions, either (but such issues usually are dealt with at the time that the invitation is given).

Good wishes for having your choice about what and how much you eat.

ole joyful