For me it was the bs. That was my original vision for the kitchen before anything else and it turned out to the one thing I could not make happen.

I had seen older houses with lavender tile and black bullnose edge tiles. I had planned on either a simple liner in it or a deco liner with a small pattern. I searched high and low and could not get the right color lavender that I was picturing. I went so far as to search out Italian tiles on Italian websites (non-English text) and talavera tile from Mexico and just could not find it anywhere. I'd get close and then the sample would arrive and be wrong. I found one company that showed exactly what I wanted on their website, but then saw it in a showroom and it was way off. I guess they no longer made it like their pictures show.

We ended up going with a pretty 3 tile feature that we will frame in with some lovely vintage/salvage tile we bought surrounded by black liners. The field will be gray after all. I am hoping it will just be a different kind of wonderful.

Perfection! Thats what I'm letting go of. The closer I get to completion, I am discovering that my vision isn't quite what is coming to fruition.

It's an old house, things are not perfectly level, things cannot get perfectly level, and I can't seem to get the old nicks in the wood to be perfectly covered up. Stupid little things like that. I want to preserve the old feel, yet make it look, well, near perfect! Not a great combo.

Don't get me wrong, my kitchen is still wonderful to work in, and SOOO much better than before. However I think most of us TKO folks will find that something isn't just quite as we had envisioned, right?

I really wanted a kitchen without any uppers! But we just did not have the space to make it work and have enough storage. I mourned for about 2 months.. then finally picked myself and moved on. We did all glass front cabs which helped a bit, but I still longingly admire the topless kitchens I see...

For the OP:

I may not be understanding your dilemma correctly, but I wanted to point out that you may be able to have crown moulding by mounting it on the soffit face and not at the top of the cabs. Are the front faces of the cab farther out, in the same plane or recessed under the soffit?

If farther out, you could fir the soffit faces out to match the cab plane. Obviously if the cabs and soffit faces are even, you can treat them as one unit, even if they aren't.

You could attach a piece of trim to bridge the surfaces and then mount the crown on or above that. If your out-of-squareness is highlighted by the raised trim line then consider paint colors as tricks to fool the eye. You have the option of painting the soffit face to match the cabs, the trim, the wall color or the ceiling color. Or you could paint the soffit area above the crown trim in a slightly darker, more receding, shade that fudges it even more. The multiple planes of a built-up crown are excellent opportunities to bury the vagaries of not quite true meeting surfaces.

The only caveat here is that with the Adel cabs you have a fairly simple one-dimensional trim scale (stiles and rails of cabs are the same width, not varied between top rail rail and bottom) so you probably should keep to a similarly plain style of crown rather than a more ornate one. But you could have a rectangular lower part and a slightly more curvy upper section laid on top. That way the difficult coping and mitering across uneven planes is done with square edges on the plain stock and the more complicated profile work is done off the now-true rectangular base. Then either paint the remaining area of the soffit the same color as the wall, or consider painting it the same color as the trim or cabs.

To get ideas about this look at pictures of column capitals and 19th c trim assemblages in books showing old house construction. You will see many very complex, even leafy designs - skip those as thay won't work as well with Adel style. But keep an eye out for things described as "Tuscan -style" as these are often very plain. Study the proportions to train your eye to see them well - the various elements were always put together in very regulated proportions that look best. Also keep in mind that the crown moulding is visually "holding up" the weight of the ceiling so make sure the thickest part is towards the bottom of the moulding, rather than the top.

If your soffit sticks out way beyond the cabs, then you might consider some crown at the ceiling/wall joint, though, again I would keep it plain-ish with the Adel.

When it comes to surface style details like crown/no crown I think you have a lot of options for getting what you want if you think like a scenic designer (stage designer) not a cabinet assembler.

Good luck!

L.

You asked...
What visions for your kitchen did you have to let go of when reality reared its ugly head? (And how did you deal with it?)

My answer...Size! I let go of the size and with that came the death of other kitchen ideas. We had to ask ourselves honestly how much spending all that extra money on taking out windows and extending the kitchen would change our lives for the better. I came to thinking that I would just correct and improve the existing Bad layout.
How I deal with it? We had a lovely vacation in Italy with some of the time spent renting a beautiful villa in Positano, and after, a trip to Madrid then on to Mexico. I'm not in a financial position to have it all...a great big new kitchen and traveling. We can do some of each though with careful spending. My husband and I are more than pleased with our decision especially since the real-estate around here is still in a slump and we are planning on down sizing in a few years. Next summer's European travel plans are already in the works. The money saved on my original idea's will fiance many a vacation.
There are a lot of big fantastic kitchens on this site and sometimes it can make you not as excited about a kitchen on a smaller scale or a kitchen with less high end appliances and stuff. In my case I'm happy that we did not go too crazy.

That the kitchen remodel would go smoothly and quickly.

Mine was supposed to be barely above ground level so that one just strolled out the door into the garden. A very close relationship betwewen the two being the one feature from my old home I really wanted to recreate here. Because of the manufactured floor system, combined with a mistake in the basement floor pour requiring another on top of it, we have a wood stoop outside the French door with 3 steps down. Hard to say why, but sadly different.

Jterrilyn, I often find myself wishing here that people would do what you guys have. Step it down and visit Italy too.

"That the kitchen remodel would go smoothly and quickly."

That's my worry.

I had to give up getting the fridge out of eyesight of the FR. I wanted to put the wall ovens and fridge together on the same wall where the wall ovens are now but I just don't have enough space, dang it. I tried to eek out a few extra inches to make it work but no go. There's no way to expand the space because the wall oven area is recessed into the PR by 9". I'm 10" shy of my dream. Sigh.

I could have gone with a range instead but after 17+ years of using wall ovens combined with periodic back issues over the years, I'm not giving up my wall ovens.

But I am going to be able to get the cook top off the island, which is really the impetus behind our remodel. I want to have more than 16" on each side of it, crazy, huh? Given that, I can live with the fridge-in-view issue. Happily, in fact.

But I haven't started my remodel yet so there may be more visions that have to adjust to reality.

Dualing islands. I had a myraid of iterations and one included dualing islands. It was a glorious notion...

Knocking down walls to have an open floor plan. Cost was a consideration, but I would have waited to do it. My husband, being the one to always pull me to earth, made me realize that having 4 rooms on ground level was going to be far more useful and ultimately hold the value of our home moreso than having a large kitchen and only 2 other spaces. Also, where the support walls are located, we would have had to incorporate some really funky workarounds that I'm not sure would have worked out in the end.
I do have visions of new cabinet doors and drawer facings, but I know I'll get that in a few years, so I'm not too sad about it. I'd rather have new counters and wait for the doors.

Do away with perfection and go to Italy. Now those are two Fantastic ways to deal with kitchen let downs! :)

liriodendron: Our soffits do extend out past the cabinets by a number of inches. If we had more height to play with for a crown of some sort, I think having "a rectangular lower part and a slightly more curvy upper section laid on top" would have worked brilliantly. I agree that our best bet would be simple moulding where the soffit meets the ceiling. Thanks so much for your thoughtful advice!

My kitchen has been finished for almost 2 years and the good news is that I can't even remember what visions I gave up because in the post-reno perspective they really were minor. The satisfaction of the renovated kitchen makes the details I fretted, stressed, and cried over for months on end pale. I hope that's the way it ends up working out for everyone. A little time and space away from the intensity of planning helps give a little perspective.

In the end, the feel I wanted is slightly off from what I envisioned, but only very slightly and I am by no means unhappy. I compromised on a hutch that was built to the ceiling and wasn't supposed to be, so the scale is off. Those aren't dealbreakers, but they were the only visions I sacraficed and in light of a new kitchen neither seems like a sacrifice at all. However, during planning, it seemed I was making sacrafices left and right!!

Size.

The architect whom we just brought on board had a contractor come out to give us ballpark costs on three ideas, the most ambitious of which entailed bumping out 8-10'. The additional space would become the dining room, our current dining room would morph into a guest room, and the remaining space would be my large kitchen - multiple sinks, tons of storage, plus an easy area for a coffee-tea-wine station for DH. Well, we just can't justify the cost for the bumpout. Our other two ideas leave us within the original footprint of the house, with more challenges for us and the architect to try and to fit a kitchen, full bath, storage closet and dining space into the area.

I'm still mourning that big ol' kitchen, though I'm sure it will be the first of many reality checks along the way.

Soapstone countertops...where I live. no one even knows what they are, so they are very $$$...:o(

For me, it may be the vision of purchasing my MIL's house and doing an addition which will include a new kitchen, eating area and family room.

We were all set to put our house up for sale in order to purchase MIL's house and get this reno going. Unfortunately a day before we were meeting with the realtor, my DH was temporarily laid off from his job. So we have put the whole project on hold till DH goes back to work... hopefully sooner than later. MIL needs the funds from the sale of her home to help pay for the assisted living facility where she is living. She was able to take a HELOC on her home (which is paid in full) which will help for the next several months, so that is good since taking care of her is our main priority and will give us time to get our stuff together.

But since we have been thinking of this and planning for the past several months, I have the whole reno planned.... cabinets picked out, appliances, room layout, etc. so I am emotionally invested in this at this point, so it will be hard to let go of my vision.

Renovating it.

The biggest: Comfy sitting area in, or connected to, the kitchen...and having it finished by the time we move in...Ha! It's 3 1/2 years later and still no end in sight.

Others: Concrete counters. QS oak. Bigger pantry (but am just happy I ended up with the one I have, which almost didn't exist). Fireplace...seen from the kitchen, or anywhere in the house!

Can't have everything, and I'm so thankful for the amazing kitchen we have.

finishing it

There were a few ideas in the early design phases which I had to give up: Mop door. There should be a door to the side yard. Eventually, the new electrical box went there, so it's just as well that didn't happen. Sitting area. Traded for storage. Galley kitchen to make the seating area. GW denizens told me I was cracked and to throw that whole idea out. Door to the stair landing. Gave up for storage. Lowered baking area. Given up as unworkable and too tall clogs work to raise my shoulders instead.

So then I had a good layout with a Waltons table. A small Waltons table, though, without the feeling of open space. Something just wasn't right. Part of it was the fridge dimensions available to me then. Miele came out with their fridge columns (I didn't like the Therm, though they're the same boxes). I realized I needed a deeper counter and it wasn't going to happen on the perimeter U. Swapped the table for a table sized island, and added a flip down table on hinged brackets that could encroach on the walkway.

I've just done a couple of weeks of non-stop cooking for the holidays. I'm glad to have all my ovens, and cooler space, and pantry, and everything, and I was yet again impressed with just how easy it is to cook and bake in my new kitchen (which is heading toward finally getting completely finished. The big box of grout is gone!).

You know what is so great about this thread, I really had to think HARD about the things I compromised on, because the end vision was still so much more than I had ever dreamed of! Truly, I know that I one time I wanted a walk in pantry, but it just didn't work with our layout. I also wanted no uppers at one point, and then I wanted uppers that were painted a creamy white, against our q/s oak bottoms. But, I can't stop looking at the kitchen we have and I can honestly say, I have no regrets. Even though every little thing I wanted didn't get in the final plan, the final plan is so ME, and us, that I couldn't imagine it any other way.

I guess that is all to say that when it is on paper, or even in the progress stages, it is so much different than when it is complete.

I have really big eyes and a tiny pocketbook.

I feel like we did really good base work - restored plaster, added plaster over blueboard where there used to be drywall, restored copies of original moldings. Good flooring, v-groove paneling and nice new windows made nice bones of a rustic georgian room.

We were not able to do really nice cabinets again, but did Ikea with custom doors. To personalize it, we made a bunch of stuff fabricated from premade bits and shelving boards. A lot of the finishing work is trade-offs between desires and costs.

I do sometimes feel like we're the old blue shoes inna world of new manolo blahniks.

I had to keep p.o.c ge profile. It just turned 6 but it was sitting under a drop cloth for at least two of those years. In appliance years, and given its poor quality level, it should die soon. Now that I need it to wait a while, it'll likely die tomorrow :) If looks or feelings could kill, it woulda died the first time I ran the candles (its called a broiler in the instructions).

We still have little things to do. Finishing is hard!

a tall ceiling with interesting windows that look into the trees; a porch outside the kitchen where I could reign and drink coffee and be the queen and still hear the buzzer on the stove when the cake is done

We ended up with a patio-like sitting area on ground level where we sit with backs to the street AFTER the cake is done ... and a regular ht ceiling with lots of windows that just face the street and all the neighbors' cars. (I see 7 cars in 3 yards as I type...aargh!) But...the house looks nice from the street, as DH defensively points out.

Runnels near the sink.....though they are big in Europe, hard to find a place that will do polished runnels on granite....contractor says it is because machine to polish them costs $500,000. Unpolished they are porous, I .e. Bacteria prone. Guess I'm still gonna have a drainboard....boo hoo!

Funny.
With as much as I struggle to rebuild my house, I'm not finding I have to give up much. It's more that I just haven't managed to make them happen yet. I'd like a desk, I think. But I could still have the room to make that if I expand into the mud room area where my dogs stay at night. Another dream and one thing at a time!

But all the other things I want, soapstone counter tops, a butcher block area, a tall, skinny, counter-depth fridge, my cabinets, flooring, etc? Oh! And inset cabinet doors that I covet? I'm going to have them because I'm going to MAKE THEM! So I'm not giving up much. :)

One step at a time, I'm getting these things made/purchased/installed/created/and done. It might take me years, but I am determined. I have only myself to please and I refuse to live in the "House of Good Enough for Now" any more. I'm even changing things I've already had done because they ddn't please me or they weren't done as well as I was paying for.

I admit I'd like to change out my windows. I hate them, but it's what we bought because we had to make a decision NOW (so my husband insisted). At least I have windows. [LOL]. But someday they'll be casement.

My kitchen is coming together. I now have all my pre-inset doors and have made my drawer fronts. I am going to be painting the rest of my life.

Christine

The built in fish tank between the kitchen and DR/LR. Heated tile floor at the back door (opens to the kitchen so it counts as kitchen, right?). Wired sound system in the ceiling. Hood fan with >300 cfms. We're just starting but clearly these are all things that can be lived without so far so I feel pretty good about it all. Nothing worth crying about. Well maybe the hood fan. But I'll live with it. Until I can save enough to upgrade the furnace and take the cfm reducer bit out!

My wife had two early musts that didn't happen, and which she still laments from time to time. Early versions of our kitchen design had a pass through to the dining room with stained leaded glass bi-fold doors. We also had several layouts trying to incorporate a large walk-in pantry with stand up freezer and counter space. Both visions had to be dropped in the final design.

To the very end, we planned to do the end TV wall in cultured stone and include a modern propane fireplace. During construction, we deleted the fireplace and dropped the stone in favor of wallpaper (which we'll actually select sometime...!).

I really wanted to bump out an addition and make a lovely breakfast nook with windows on 3 sides, like 2 other houses have on my street.

But I took a big gulp of reality and realized we could not afford it, and we remodeled within the existing footprint.

I was making the perfect the enemy of the so-much-better....

We haven't started yet, but that is because of a family illness, not budget. However, I feel like perhaps I should start over with my design because in my original plan we were moving the powder room into the new mud room and putting a walk-in pantry in the former powder room space. Turns out it was the one thing our budget just couldn't handle. The contractor was going to build us a closet in the mudroom the same size we had planned for the powder room with the intention it could be our pantry and we could switch the spaces in the future. Before we put things on hold, I was okay with the decision, but now that I've had lots of time to ponder it I doubt the functionality of having to walk into the mudroom for food items. *sigh* Still working on this one.

I had to think hard about this one. It's been almost a year since we finished and I am still in awe of how well my kitchen works now, and how pretty it is to me. The in-process disappointments have long faded away and I had to look at my original post and chat with my DH to remember the lost "visions".

For us, it's that we couldn't find a slab of Luce de Luna quartzite for the counters. But, the revised vision (marble and engineered quartz) has worked out so well I can't imagine anything else now. Also, we wanted a Euro-style chimney hood but for structural reasons had to go with an under cabinet model. LIke I said, by now I had completely forgotten that this had been a disappointment! At the end of the day, I just felt so lucky to be able to redo my kitchen at all, since I had waited and saved 10 years to do a full gut!

But my next kitchen, probably when we downsize after becoming empty nesters, WILL have a chimney hood!

I had to let go of the idea that the new kitchen would actually accommodate multiple cooks. Maybe I just work better alone no matter what!

All of my inspiration kitchens had natural cherry cabinets and soapstone counters. I knew before we even started that soapstone was going to be out of our budget--I had a lot of counter space going in, with some other expensive details. Instead, I chose a laminate with a similar vibe and put in huge windows. I have plenty of work space for multiple cooks, all the space I could want for baking and prepping, and I can always see the trees in the yard and the sky above them. I am very happy with my choices.

The thing stung a bit was giving up the walk in pantry. In a 20X19 foot space, you'd think that we could fit a walk in pantry, but no matter how we positioned it, it screwed up something else in the layout, so in the end I gave it up and put in a wall of built in cabinets instead. I stash things in the laundry room and mudroom closet when I need to. I'm ok with that, because I got the mudroom and the laundry room in the remodel as well! :-) Again, I'm happy with the choices we made.

Cj

It's reassuring to hear how many can hardly remember the things they lamented having to let go of at the time. I'm in this really funky place with this remodel, where I'm not loving anything and I'm afraid I'm going to end up spending a lot of money (relative to me) and end up unsatisfied.

@houseful, if you can and when you get a chance, could you talk about why that (multiple people cooking) isn't working?

Houseful, you have me curious, also.

And Thynes, was it a financial reason to nix the fireplace, or other? Hate to rub salt in the wound if it was financial, but what an wonderful thing it would've been to view from your fantastic new kitchen. If it was financial, may you be able to add it later?

For us, a few visions were lost because of financial or practical choices.

Challenging countertop materials-- marble or soapstone. We might need to move in a few years and have a young family, so we opted for granite as easier to deal with and resell.

The Kohler Karbonator faucet. Too much for our pocketbook and not really in keeping with our kitchen's style, but I just thought it was so COOL.

A counter-depth fridge. No room or money for a real one, and no space to cut the wall back to shove our big fridge back (we would have lost half the pantry).

I really, really wanted a double wall oven. But with our kitchen's layout, the only way I could think of to make it work & not leave a microwave "just stuck somewhere" would have been a drawer microwave, and I don't care for them. So I went with a single wall oven and an integrated microwave above it. The layout works very well, and I've only missed having a double once or twice. ;)

rhome, thankfully finances weren't the reason for deleting the fireplace. I think it came down to "decision fatigue", for lack of a more apt phrase. We loved each each individual design choice we made (lighting, fabrics, tile, etc) but just weren't confident that we'd found a fireplace design that inspired. We were also concerned that a stone wall with fireplace would create yet another focal point in a room with some pretty strong focal points as it was. So we decided not to decide and just left the wall bare for now, to perhaps do something less permanent (like an understated wallpaper) in the near term.

In answer to your question, it's entirely possible that someday we'll do the stone fireplace wall. You will notice in the photo showing the TV wall that we left that wall bumped out a bit, enough to install a fireplace if we ever find that perfect one!

Wood countertops, natural stone backsplash, stone floor, arched window over the sink...I think my budget was a bit more than my dh's!

We're not done yet and I'm loving the granite countertop we installed and the new window that my husband built above the sink (!!!!) I love the hammered copper sink we got, this was dh's casual suggestion and I jumped on it. It is virtually care-free - never shows dirt. I clean it because I know I should. The oil-rubbed bronze faucet is care-free too!

Still have to finalize the floors and backsplash and where to place stones on the wall. DH will indulge me some stones....

I guess I want a hobbit kitchen!