Start. . . stop . . . curl up and cry??

15 years ago

So demo on our new Brady Bunch wonderland kitchen was set to begin (by DH and yours truly) the last week of this month. I've solved my classic black vs. white dilemma, ordered my cabs, appliances are in the garage . . . and whammy! Brick wall.

DH's parents are in some financial straights and we've had to write a couple big checks to help out . . . and it looks like we will be doing that for a while to come. This money is basically coming from the kitchen fund, and though our granite/marble guys are family friends, I don't think they will take a 6 pack as payment for that tab.

So the question is do I: a)put it all on hold and try not to lose my mind, b)do as much as we can before the well runs dry or c)curl up under the computer desk, clutch my Carrara sample and cry for a bit?

The fun part is that the kitchen is open to dining and living, so ALL the flooring, ALL the woodwork, ALL the ceilings have to be done at once.

Part of me thinks I should just buy a new apron and embrace the Carol Brady-ness of it all. Your thoughts?

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Comments (11)

chefkev
15 years ago
I'm so sorry about this potential delay. Is it possible to split the project up into 2 phases which can be completed at different times without leaving you without a kitchen indefinitely? Something like doing the structural work, floors, ceilings, lighting & electrical, but waiting for new appliances and/or using craig's list and going with inexpensive laminate counters which could be replaced later? Could existing cabs be reused temporarily and then replaced with nicer ones later? HTH - Best wishes!
favabeans5
15 years ago
personally i would hold off until you can do the whole thing.. it takes long enough as it is without having to worry about money.. ive been working on my kitchen since july.. cabinet order got screwed up which added 3 weeks and i went on vacation.. but things pop up.. and not having a kitchen or a kitchen in disarray for an exended period of time is no fun..
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claybabe
15 years ago
Oh man. I'm sorry for ya: The momentum is at its peak and you have to shift directions. I wouldn't sound so sane if I were in your shoes.

How tolerant of mess are you? For how long?
How much can you do yourselves?
How much will the flooring cost?
Are the checks to the parents likely to increase?
If you continue at this moment, even if it lengthens the time, you diy, get there more slowly, will it put you in any kind of financial jeopardy if another crisis arises? Job loss, illness, you know, the usual kinds of things that happen when you can least afford them.

If it were me, I would be starting with the curl up and cry, and move on to starting (Do all the ceilings first? do the floor a room at a time?) and just deal with the hassle. However, I don't think that's even close to the best solution for everyone, and I'm currently trying (unsuccessfully) to be supportive to a family member I encouraged 4 years ago to "go for it" on a cabin they really didn't have time or energy for. So be strong, find your inner Carol, and try to assess your family's tolerance for chaos and drywall dust.

You might also want to check with the folks who sold the appliances and find out if your warranty can start with installation. If it's already started, consider wiring them/using them to make sure they work, if you aren't going to move forward on the kitchen now. Also, see if the cab order can be put on hold until you have a better time, otherwise, they'll be joining their friends, the appliances, in your garage, and start calling softly to you to move them inside (and little Cindy will come ask why you won't move the poor little cabs inside).

If you don't procede now, I think you'll be much less stressed, but it would be REALLY hard to just stop/postpone at this point. Good luck making your decisions, don't worry: It will happen!
laxsupermom
15 years ago
I am so sorry for you. Sending you a big e-hug. Yes, you should start with a good cry. Then assess how much of a mess you can stand. With the appliances already on site and the cabinets already ordered and you and DH planning on doing the demo yourselves, you need to ask yourself how much can you do on your own? Ceiling drywall takes forever to do right. It can be done(we just did it,) but it took way longer than we had expected. Woodwork can wait if you can stand to look at your house without trim. What type of flooring were you planning on ? If it's a floating floor, like laminate,it should go in after the cabs anyway, so if you can live w/ plywood subfloors for a bit they can wait, too. Backsplashes can wait for years and even though you've already picked your beautiful carrara even that can wait a bit. Many GWers have had plywood tops waiting on finding the perfect slab. I have yet to find the perfect slab of soapstone and am living with plywood tops right now. I've been using my kitchen for a month already - even had a party where everyone oohed and aahed over the cabinets, appliances, etc. Definitely check e-bay and craigslist for the things you haven't already purchased. Just yesterday an auction ended for cabinets and a gorgeous apron front soapstone sink that a showroom was getting rid of. They went for a song. You can proceed, you just need to figure out if you're ok with waiting on a few things and how long you could wait.
mamadadapaige
15 years ago
also, so sorry for you and also for DH's parents which is probably difficult for everyone most of all them. Think of the bright side: you married someone who is a family man and there for them when they need him! Also, despite what is happening I did not note any resentment in your post. Given the situation it would be easy to feel that way, but you should be proud of yourself for knowing what really matters.

Eventually you will get it done and I bet it will be even more gratifying when it is complete.

If I lived near you, I would come over and pitch in for a day to help with the DIY.

Keep your chin up (after you have your good cry!!).
claybabe
15 years ago
Ooohh, it's time for a GW/Kitchen forum work party! COunt me in! Hmmm, what part of the country are you in...?
mjsee
15 years ago
Is it only the counters you can't afford? That's easy. Laminate until the money is available for the marble. They are the easiest thing in the world to switch out.

I feel your pain. My kitchen money went to a brand-new retaining wall, pavers, and a drainage project. I love the out-door space we created...but I'll have to live with my old kitchen for several more years. (We didn't have a choice, the wall holding up the driveway started to fail.)

Good luck.

(Oh, and a good cry is always appropriate.)
lovemcm
15 years ago
Kitchenus interruptus, very stressful. As everyone else has already mentioned, you and your husband must be wonderful people, --he because he is there for his parents, and you because you haven't killed anyone yet. Anyone else here watch "Snapped" on the Oxygen network? I'm just saying...

Forgive my feeble attempt to make you maybe crack a smile. I just feel for you. Can the cabinet order be cancelled or postponed for now?
bdaykitchen
15 years ago
So sorry to hear of your family troubles. We had similar delay w/my mom's final illness & passing earlier this year. We are just getting to the point of being able "handle" it all. I couldn't have thought about undergoing the kind of stress that major reno brings along with family crisis too.

Just want to add about other sources for potential $ savers: although they have now been sitting in my living room & guest room for over 2 years worth of delays, we bout several appliances at liquidation sale of local high end appliance store. In addition to checking ebay & craiglist, also check paper & internet for liquidators & auctioneers who may be liquidating such businesses. I got an $800 Franke sink for $350 and 6 burner GE pro style range 60% off.

Best wishes to you & family & a big e-hug from here too!
igloochic
15 years ago
I'm so sorry you're in this position. I do agree...curl up and cry, and morn the death of the one stop kitchen remodel. Then, get tough :) Walk through the project one step at a time on a budget sheet. Also do your family budget, and see where you are with funds if you have to help the elders out for whatever conceivable time you think it might be. You might also consider their budget as well. Is there room for funds coming out of home equity for them? Any investments to work on, etc. Probably not, given that you state you may have to help them for a while, but it's worth really checking well.

then look at those steps to the kitchen. It is true you can live on plywood floors for some time,but not if you have small kids. I put down a horrible peel and stick floor in our kitchen and dinningroom here in the rental, just to get by until we rip the house up (when our house is finished). It cost a total of about $20 because of a clearance sale, and frankly...its not ugly. I could live with it if I had to while waiting for real floors :)

Don't go cheap on your cabinets...that's structural and you'll regret it, so only do those if the budget allows. But do throw on a cheap countertop. Plywood is fine if you hit it with a hand sander and throw some paint on it. Or go with cheap laminate.

There are ways to go forward if you really look at it, maybe :) Don't go down to no savings taking care of the parents and your kitchen! That would be worse than the brady bunch space by far :) And try to keep your chin up. We're always here to help with useless ideas if you want.
justnotmartha
Original Author
15 years ago
(((wiping away a tear or two))) You guys are just GROOVY, and I say that while embracing the Brady-ness around me . . . and trust me, there is a lot to embrace.

Kidding aside, I really appreciate the encouragement . . . it means a lot. Few of my friends come close to understanding my TKO need to get this done, and that having just moved from my completely personally remodeled house into this Brady love fest is a serious downer. Family always comes first, but Carrara slides in at a close 2nd and I'm trying to keep it all in perspective. My good karma has to put Carol Brady's to shame for sure!!

We were already doing a majority of this ourselves (being our 3rd kitchen we're getting pretty good) so we knew it would take longer, but with 3 kids the thought of being half done for a looong period of time is enough to send me back under the computer desk. I started playing around with cabinets for the laundry room and craft room tonight and it made me feel a little better ~ those are projects that could easily be started and finished without eating Top Ramon for months on end. So I think if I can pull it all together we will start on that next week and leave the kitchen in it's Brady Glory for another month or two. By then we should have the in-laws on the right path and a clearer idea of how long we will be helping.

Anyone know if you can run a disco ball out of a can light??

And in case you wondered, I will have to put Carrara in the laundry room now!!

Start. . . stop . . . curl up and cry??

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Start. . . stop . . . curl up and cry??

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