First off, 70 is not old! You should plan on being in this house 20 plus years at least!
Because this was something that was originally planned as a project for the two of you, it is no wonder that you are having difficulty with all these expensive decisions.
Have you actually gone to see the new stainless steel appliances? There are also brands that look like stainless steel but are not.
But first, you need to decide on the material for your cabinets. You say that you like white, but there is an upcharge. If this is important to you, then maybe you can cut back on something else.
Do you know what your floor is going to be? This might help make a choice if you are going with wood.
Have you taken the time to look at the finished kitchen blog? You will probably find yourself being attracted to the same kitchen over and over. That might be your starting point.
You need to make one decision at a time. Each one does build on the other. Get feedback here. Usually if the majority of us disagree with your choice, it is advise well taken.
You will also hear about our mistakes, and you will be able to avoid many mishaps.
Your house will be great and you should feel proud of how far you have come.

First, condolences on the loss of your DH:-(
I think I can make your decision easier-with white appliances, a darker cabinet will make the APPLIANCES stand out as opposed to blending in. Most people don't want their eye drawn to the fridge first-they want it drawn to a back splash or beautiful counters. So, the lighter woods or the white for cabinets would be my choice. I'd remove cherry since it darkens a lot over time.
Ceiling fan-I would never want one in my kitchen directly. I have one in my dinette area and that is fine.
Chrome will show spots, finger prints, etc, so take that off the list. A BRUSHED stainless steel if you go stainless.
Since you have computer access, I suggest going to houzz.com and entering some key words like "white appliances" and getting ideas of what others have done.
For a 55+ community, I think staying neutral and low maintenance are key. I'd say no to granite tiles as the grout/seams would cause more cleaning issues.
I have this in my mind:
https://www.houzz.com/photos/fletcher-kitchen-portland-phvw-vp~443792-spaces-portland

First, my condolences on the loss of your husband. My mother was 54 when we lost my Dad, I know it is a very difficult time for you. And I imagine making decisions for you is very difficult, it was for my mom. She relied on her daughters and friends to help her with all of her decisions. I think only having to please herself was not something she was used to. She also moved about 9 months after his passing to a condo that she "built" where she made all the design decisions herself.

But on a happier note, congrats on building a house! So much fun to make all of the decisions vs living with someone else's choices when you buy an existing home.

Let me ask you this, what color cabinets do YOU want? What do you really really want? If you want white and it is an upcharge, can you save the money somewhere else? White cabinets make me happy. I don't think I would ever want anything else, in the kitchen. So, you need to consider that.

Your comment on the enormous task of cleaning stainless. Let me tell you, it is not a big deal at all. I was at someone's house this past weekend with two toddlers. I "think" they had a stainless fridge. It was hard to tell, if you know what I mean. I think you can handle stainless, I don't have any issues at all.

But if you are worried about keeping stainless clean, I would suggest you do not do a dark cabinet. It shows fingerprints, dust, splashes and I found that they were difficult to clean. My 2 cents.

Another thought is, will the builder give you a credit if you do a laminate counter? Get the cabinets you want, and replace the counters later, after you move in. You know the builder is adding on costs to that granite and you can probably source them for less money afterwards. Donate the laminate ones to Habitat for Humanity. A lot of people do this. Everybody wins.

As far as my opinion on orb, I hate to say it, but it seems trendy to me. I've heard that a lot of people are going back to chrome. It is a classic, been around a long time. I like the sparkle from them. Again, my faucets are not a big deal to keep clean, just wipe them off. I did have stainless in the last kitchen, and nothing ever showed, so I have no idea how dirty they really were ; )

I can't wait to see your project. I hope you keep us posted as you make progress.

Bee

Phoggie, you need a designer or even a design savvy friend on site who can hold your hand through the many many choices that building a home entails. You don't pick your kitchen choices in a vacuum from all of the other choices that you make for your home. The house as a whole has to be cohesive and have continuity from one room to the next.

That being said, even if it's an upcharge, I'd personally vote for white. Our eyes require a lot more light as we age and need more light reflective surfaces. White cabinets will help to provide that. And carry the use of white throughout the other rooms by using major components in white, such as the trimwork or some upholstery pieces.

You also want to make sure that your home has good attention to lighting, with a lot more fixtures than you think you will need. Put them all on dimmers and you can control the light levels to suit your now eyes as well as your light level needs 10 years from now.

I too am sorry about the loss of your husband. Even though my DH wasn't that much of a help during the renos it was nice to have someone hold my hand when the stress of decision making got to me. Do you have someone in your life who could do that for you - go with you to show rooms, help bounce ideas off, help you with research?

Your age has nothing to do with making these decisions - they are hard for all of us regardless of our age.

I have stainless steel appliances (GE fridge and stove and Bosch DW) and have absolutely no finger print issues. I just wipe them down with a damp cloth once a week like I would any other colour of appliance but no finger prints.

I'm not 70 but I did the same wondering as you - white cabinets or wood, and we were going with stained wood because in our market it's what you are "supposed" to do but I always have loved white kitchens and at the last minute we switched. Your concerns and questions are the same ones that we all have - find some pictures of kitchenss that you do like and then analyze them and see if you can pinpoint why. You will slowly get some answers and then you can join the rest of us in those sleepless nights wondering if you did indeed make the right decision.

Feel free to keep coming back here with your questions and concerns. I, for one, will gladly hold your hand through the process and I know that lots of other people here will do so as well. Try to have some fun.

Sorry about the sudden loss of your husband. Making decisions after a loss like that can be really difficult. Hopefully your kids can help out with some of the decisions. And you are *only* 70? Totally agree with the others you should be looking at 20 years in the home! Since it will also be your last home it sounds like - as much as financially possible, make it the way you want it.

Do you have some selections that you can make that aren't upcharges? Where I'm building there were about 15 granites to select from (of course I didn't select one of them), 5 colors of cabinet but only 1 cabinet style (of course I didn't select that style or any of their colors either), standard appliances, and fixtures, flooring, and all that. I have upgraded everything. But, I could have had a very pretty and liveable house with no upgrades.

Will your builder give you allowances if you don't select the standard choices? Mine will not - and so for lighting, bath fixtures, kitchen backsplash, and appliances I'm going with the standard and will strip them when I arrive and put in what I want. The builder was almost doubling the retail price of the upgraded faucets and such that I wanted. However, for things difficult to replace, cabinets, countertops, floors, etc. I am sucking up the upcharges. The problem with not including them in the build is that I can't include them in the loan. So that is something to consider also. Just for info as for fixture color - where I'm building chrome is the basic, BN is an upcharge, and ORB is more than BN.

I agree with bahacca if you want white appliances go with light wood so they don't stand out like a beacon among the dark wood. Also wouldn't go for granite tiles. My sister has them and has hated them every single day. She doesn't have a level work surface, things tip, and she is hoping to switch to slab in the not too distant future.

It sounds like you have your floor nailed down. That's great. Then build from there. I found selecting my granite first was important for me because that determined my flooring. What I had wanted on the floor was too busy for the granite. Then I built the rest of the kitchen, and the house really, around that.

Good luck. Let people here know what colors you have to work with and I'm sure they will help you figure out something spectacular within budget.

Oh, and I'm having my house painted all one color, a super white-white which I really only want on the trim, and hiring my own painters to add the ceiling and wall colors after the close. Again, it is cheaper that way, and I got a recommendation for some awesome painters.

Whew. Sorry this got so long. It's just that I'm just a few steps ahead of you so understand how overwhelming it can be selecting EVERYTHING at once.

Oh thanks to all of you who have taken time to respond and I hope more will do so too with pictures...that would help. I had decided on stained hickory for some interest and will use that in other areas of the house. You have rethinking about dark cabinets...maybe I will revisit my pics that I took from a magazine of natural maple with dark counter tops if the white appliances would look better. I thought of white/white, but the appliances made the cabinets look "yellowish".

Maybe to keep initial cost down to a closer budget, I could consider laminate instead of granite slab....will have to see cost difference. I am paying the costs out of pocket for lighting, faucets, towel bars, etc.

My thinking is that I want to keep the wood floors light so they don't show everything, but do not want to get the cabinets too close to the flooring colors.

I wish I could have had an island so I could have done that In a different color but do not care for the top in one color and the bottom cabinets in a different color.

Please post pics of your kitchens.....I would love to see them...Thanks!

Phoggie, I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your DH. First, cut yourself some slack. It's hard enough to make decisions about building a house under the best of circumstances, let alone when your world is reeling from such a loss.

Indecision is perfectly normal--just read most of the postings on this website! Some people have a definite preference for white cabs or some specific species of wood or color of stain. Then there are others who like both--like me. :) One day I want cherry (probably natural or lightly stained) and then the next I'm imagining white or creamy cabs with touches of wood stain (trim around the windows and maybe a line of stain in the trim at the top of the cabs). I've been in the planning stage for 3 years now and still can't decide.

Gunstock/hickory flooring would go very nicely with natural maple cabs--a nice contrast between the two. The granite you like might go with the natural maple, too. Go to Houzz.com and put in white appliances in the search function. Most of the kitchens have white cabs, but there are some nice examples of stained cabs with white appliances as well. You can also see what kind of countertops they've used to see if you like the degree of contrast.

70 years of age doesn't mean you should plan your home for only the next few years. My mom will be 81 this month and is going strong, as is her sister who will be 90 on her next birthday. When my dad died (over 20 years ago), my mom moved out to CO to be near my family and bought a little patio home. She had always decorated her home to please my dad. This time, she picked everything she liked. It's her forever home and she's very happy in it. I went with her when she picked everything out because it can be overwhelming to make all those decisions at once, but all I did was help her see how her choices would fit together--I tried very hard not to influence her one way or another. I hope you have someone you can rely upon to help you with your decisions without pressuring you to choose their favorites.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. And I look forward to seeing your progress on building your new home.

Phoggie - I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I can only echo everyone's sentiments when they say that these decisions are hard for everyone. It's very overwhelming. And you have a lot on your plate, so don't be so hard on yourself!

When I did my kitchen, I was facing the same problems. Torn between painted, natural or stained cabinets and I didn't have much direction.

I ended up with hickory floors and did natural cherry and cream (almost a very light yellow) cabinets. I thought I'd share a photo with you so that you can see how those two choices work with the grain in the hickory:

I think if you can find one element that you KNOW you want or that you fall in love with, then you can bring everything together based on that.

For me, it was our countertops. Once I picked out the stone, everything else fell into place eventually.

Good luck! Can't wait to see your kitchen as it progresses!

Ayerg, thanks so much for this post. You have a beautiful kitchen and it gave me idea of both white and stained.

I hope more will post pics.

Good Morning, Phoggie!

So sorry you have recently lost your husband. I can't imagine how you are able to do all this: Losing your spouse makes all things different and more difficult, though time should help make day to day things easier.

I am including a link for you to click on, to take you to the Houzz.com that folks have mentioned above. There is another thread I will include in the next post that you can click on and see a lot of different kitchens. Also the Finished kitchen blog, which will be in the third post. Really, there are a lot of pictures out there to look at and it sounds like you are hoping to see them, so click away!

Here is a link that might be useful: [Houzz.com[(https://www.houzz.com/photos/home-design-ideas-phbr0-bp~)

Here is a thread started a bit ago, with lots of our own Garden Webbers' kitchens.

Here is a link that might be useful: posted kitchens thread

And this is the famous Finished Kitchens Blog, or FKB, that was started by one of our own GW posters. Not sure if Starpooh is still active or if the site has had much attention lately (given the Houzz.com availability and other options) but there a lot of gorgeous options to drool over.

Here is a link that might be useful: FKB

Phoggie, I'm also sorry. It's such a shock to find yourself without that presence beside you, even if they were in your way every time you turned around.

My mom just turned 76.
When she was 52, my 57 year old dad died suddenly. He'd retired at 54 & they'd moved to Sarasota. Within 3 years my mom was L.O.N.L.E.Y and packed herself up and moved back to Michigan. Said, "You don't make friends of 30 years down in Turtle-land." (Sorry, all you Floridians!) Anyway.

A while later she met her beau, 10 years older than she. A bit later, she moved in with him. 10 years LATER, she went thru some horrible medical stuff and dumped him. Bought herself a gorgeous patio, detached condominium home and decorated it just beautifully. But then, she's never been one with decorating indecision.

My point is that although you might feel pretty alone and worn out at times, take a breath. You've made a decision on a beautiful floor. Congratulate yourself there, because that's a toughie to start with!

Can you find out if your HOA worked with a designer to start with? If it's not a long-established community, they might have someone well-recommended.

But browse. Posting pictures of kitchens is all over the place here. There's even one thread that says, "Please post pictures of your kitchens!" So it's just a question of reading.

You'll do just great and it will be all yours. You might be surprised to find what speaks to you after all those years of keeping someone else in mind. This will be a picture of you!

Oh Claybabe, thanks for the threads.....this should either keep my busy for hours, or confuse me even more :-)

CEFreeman....thanks for kind words and agree with your mom...I also needed to come "back home". DH was the only reason to stay in the other town (and we had planned to come here anyway) but now he is gone and the move was good for me. But this kitchen decision (or undecision) is driving me nuts! The rest of the house is pretty well decided. This has to be a modest build, so keeping the costs down is important, but I also want a kitchen that has some "wow factor" that others will not have. But I will have a view that is a WOW that no one else will have, so I guess they can just look out of the windows!

Thanks to all.....and all suggestions are welcome.

Well, there's a place to start!
Work to frame your view.
You haven't posted a layout, but would your kitchen, or your dining area, or your living room (often a "great" room now) be able to see out?

That, at least, is a wonderful focal point.

Remember: There is no deadline, (that you've mentioned) there is no prize for finishing by a certain date. Take a breath and enjoy the shopping, the browsing, the disdainfully discarding something as "eh" and the Ah HAAAA moments. Emotions are probably wild right now, so just run with it.

You are most welcome!

I have a couple of thoughts on counter tops. First, I am a fan of formica, since it is potentially an inexpensive and very durable choice. I like the variety of colors and patterns. However, it can also be a lot more expensive once you start adding on the fancy patterns and edge treatments. At that point it it reasonable to consider more expensive options, but I would think long and hard about that since you don't seem to have a strong preference about the counters and they can be easily replaced later (with the caveat re sinks as follows).

If you have your heart set on an undermount sink, so you can just sweep goo and crumbs in without having an edge to catch it, this can be done with formica/laminate counters, but it takes someone who is willing to go outside their comfort zone if they haven't seen it done before. This is a common complaint among folks who wanted to try it and were told it couldn't be done. However, there are no issues with doing a drop in sink, and I haven't ever found them to be too difficult to clean, although I do love the undermount thing in my house.

Granite can be found in a variety of prices. If you live in or close to an urban area you will have more options here. There are prefab pieces that can be had for prices close to lower priced formica/laminate. Start thinking about price per square foot as you look through your options.

Wood counter tops are gorgeous in my opinion, and can be sealed to be durable around water. There are multiple people on this site who have done that. And a wood counter can be very price friendly, so if it appeals to you, it might be worth considering. (And I love how wood counter tops look with white/off white cabs, but you will need to look specifically at those combos as you look through the photos.)

I have Granite, wood, and copper counters in my kitchen. I love them all. But I would do formica/laminate in a heartbeat if I were looking to save money --oh yeah! I did do that in our little basement kitchen!

As a place to get you started, buzz through some of the photos and see what grabs you. As another poster or two mentioned, figure out what you like about the photos you like and write it down. Then start thinking about what materials will help you accomplish that. If it turns out that you like a more monochromatic look (soothing and soft) then wood everywhere or paint and light counters/backsplash will be in order. If you like a little definition then perhaps dark counters with light cabs, or a medium counter with either lighter or darker cabs. Lots of options. But at least that is a place to start working now that you know your floor (which sounds yummy!).

CEFreeman.....I am so computer challenged, but the pics of my lot and house plan is on "Small Houses", under "Now I can officially join you"...mama_goose posted it there for me. So you are welcome to look at it, repost it here, or whatever you might chose. Some day I'll get my daughter to sit down and help me post pics....I don't do well with the directions here.
THANKS!

Phoggie, I really, really love your plan. Combined with that lot, it will be truly lovely. With so many pretty, sunlit ways for the gaze to just continue on without crashing to a stop at a wall in every direction, your home will also look very spacious and much larger than it actually is.

With that open plan my choice would be cabinetry that blended as much as possible with its background, so it sank back instead of standing out in a big block, which contrasting cabinetry would do. Deep brown walls, deep brown cabinets. Pale honey cabinets with pale walls in a honey, honeyish off white, or pale green, gray blue, shell pink whatever, as long as it was about the same value as the cabinets.

BTW, life spans being what they are these days, I think you'd better assume you just could be spending, maybe 15 years from now really want to spend, the next quarter century in this house. (Just in case you don't take it in your head to join your best friend in a condo overlooking the bay in Charleston for the 2020s.) My aunt's 102 and started making what she announced were her last important choices 40 years ago and better--an ongoing family joke for longer than most of us have been alive. :)

Rosie, I bow to you: I am unable to find the thread she is published in. Would you mind posting a link here?

Claybabe, if it takes, this is a link to a thread on the Building a Home Forum.

Here is a link that might be useful: Phoggie's new home

Thanks, rosie.....but there is a much better post of it (as well as of my beautiful lake lot) under "Small homes"...and search "I can now officially join you"....if you would be so kind to post those pics.

It will take the view of the lake to appreciate the house!

here's phoggie's lot and plans on small homes forum

scan down about halfway to plans and lot pic posted by LL

Here is a link that might be useful: phoggie's plans

Who needs a house with a view like THAT? I'd pitch a tent and live there!LOL
I didn't look at the plans-does the kitchen overlook that view? If so, I'd try to pull some of those gorgeous colors into the kitchen.

WOW. That is stunning. Tent works for me.

I agree, but the house will be even better. :) Phoggie'll be able to glance out the front to see who's going by and, of course, to the pond at the rear, while the short wings and porches front and rear will provide a lot of privacy from neighbors. The dining or sitting extension, however it will most often be used, will be sunny with a completely unimpeded view. Just all very nice.

Here is a pic of Phoggie's view! Wonderful!

Thanks for those who posted my view.....that is what I paid for!!! So help me get a kitchen that it deserves..thanks!

Hi phoggie,
I am very sorry for your loss. I am not sure if someone mentioned this already but natural maple cabinets yellow and darken over time. They are beautiful new though. Mine turned a darker golden color within 3 years and look so different. I regret my choice and am replacing them with painted cream in my remodel.

Phoggie- Here is the floor plan :)
{{gwi:1444252}}From Cottage house plans

Which way to the lake... out the kitchen window side or the deck side?

None of my business but sticking my nostrils in anyway, do you need 3 bedrooms?

deedles, the house will sit on the lot so the windows in the LR and DR will look directly down toward the dam of the pond. No, I probably do not need 3 bedrooms, but for resale, I think they are necessary.

Deedles- For retirement homes, many people like a separate wing for guests/activities. Usually one bedroom is a guest room and the other a study or craft room...or maybe a grandchildren's guest/playroom.

Phoggie- That lovely view out the back will be visible from almost every room. If you aren't sure about the kitchen, think about how you plan/want to decorate the dining area and living room. Maybe your furniture style in those rooms will help you to come up with a plan for the kitchen, too :)

Hi LL
Well, the rest of the house is pretty well planned. The dining room will have hardwood, with carpet (creme and brown ) insert under the table, which is traditional walnut table with 8 chairs. The chairs have a padded back and seat in a creme fabric...still looking for a buffet.

In the living room, I have ordered a creme sofa with a tiny bit of sage fleck, sage recliner for ME (old people need those lol), two swivel low back chairs in a solid creme....end tables, etc. will be dark traditional style...probably cherry wood. The entry will be the hickory gunmetal stained wood and it will run back to the door at the end of the windows, leaving the seating area, where the same carpet will be set in. Paint in the d.r., l.r., and kitchen will probably be a lighter shade of the sage. By keeping it all neutral, I can change accent colors from season to season.

The other two bedrooms will be the same furniture as my former house. The guest bathroom will be sea foam with white accents. All trim will be white. So you can see, I can make up my mind on other rooms.....it is this darned kitchen that I am struggling with!!!

I guess I like too many of them ( or none of them have hit me yet....and I have looked at hundreds!)......I may just have to draw one out of the hat.

So believe me, I appreciate everyone's help.

I have also ordered all new cherry furniture for my bedroom and plan to perhaps use white bedding, taupe paint and some accent in a bright color.

Hi LL
Well, the rest of the house is pretty well planned. The dining room will have hardwood, with carpet (creme and brown ) insert under the table, which is traditional walnut table with 8 chairs. The chairs have a padded back and seat in a creme fabric...still looking for a buffet.

In the living room, I have ordered a creme sofa with a tiny bit of sage fleck, sage recliner for ME (old people need those lol), two swivel low back chairs in a solid creme....end tables, etc. will be dark traditional style...probably cherry wood. The entry will be the hickory gunmetal stained wood and it will run back to the door at the end of the windows, leaving the seating area, where the same carpet will be set in. Paint in the d.r., l.r., and kitchen will probably be a lighter shade of the sage. By keeping it all neutral, I can change accent colors from season to season.

The other two bedrooms will be the same furniture as my former house. The guest bathroom will be sea foam with white accents. All trim will be white. So you can see, I can make up my mind on other rooms.....it is this darned kitchen that I am struggling with!!!

I guess I like too many of them ( or none of them have hit me yet....and I have looked at hundreds!)......I may just have to draw one out of the hat.

So believe me, I appreciate everyone's help.

I have also ordered all new cherry furniture for my bedroom and plan to perhaps use white bedding, taupe paint and some accent in a bright color.