sherry, best thing would be to contact your county's agricultural extension office or the university. They are more familiar with your area and best at recommending and help you out. They would have local information that they know more than us who are not in your area. Besides, the help is free and they would gladly help. That's a good starting point. Then you can clarify some questions in this forum and we will relate to your problems of growing your fruit trees.

I resolved the issue...you can ignore the previous post.

Notho, I am confused by your postings. Sorry 'bout that! As you know, the wetlands of Nantucket resulted from the meltwaters of the last glacier. Heavy clay deposits were laid down followed by the lighter gravels and sands. Around depressed land areas vegetation grew, died and thus the iron rich peat layers developed. You have two types of wetlands; those behind the dunes along the ocean and the inland wetlands. Restoration of each type would be done using two different approaches. Why in heck are you out searching for plants foreign to your local wetlands when everything you need is either already on island or neighboring islands such as No Man's Land? All that is needed is an intense propagation project to grow your present natives that thrive in these unique ecosystems. To restore a wetlands along the ocean one would first put in place a sand dune on the ocean side. This would be heavily planted with Poison ivy, Beach plum (Prunus maritima), Rosa rugosa (not native but almost is), beach grasses, etc. These are the plants that glue and hold sand dunes together. Then in the area behind the dune where rain water will accumulate sun dews, wild cranberry, etc. are planted. It may be necessary to first spread peat moss to replicate the original soil. Also, one would plant the same trees (young stock) that are growing a bit further back from the ocean. These trees will never reach full height due to wind, but they are an important part of the beach wetland ecology. Have you noticed them? The inland wetlands are depressed areas usually (not always)at the base of slopes. A disturbed inland wetland may need some slight reshaping and berming. Probably spreading peat moss may be necessary. Then you plant the native blueberries/viburnums around the edge and fill the depression with native perennials/shrubs that thrive in damp areas; Joe Pye weed, Ilex verticillata...you are familiar with the native plants needed. There are so many choices why introduce new types of plants to ecosystems that have flourished for centuries? By the way....are you aware that you are in a part of the world where a 60+ year, ongoing mystery plant search is underway? Within the past few years a rededicated effort is blossoming to find a Prunus maritima shrub that fruits every year despite spring weather conditions. Researchers at Cornell have enter the search plus growers on the Cape. I have personal knowlege that over the last 60 years rooted hybrid cuttings were sent and planted all over Nantucket for trial. Hope you are aware of and part of this search. Should you have noted any Beach plums worthy of bringing to the attention of the researchers I can give you an interested contact name for further information.

My children are older now, not babies or children, but I had the same ideas as you when they were little - limited tv, limits on sugary snacks and sweet drinks, breast feeding, etc. And, like you, my mom laughed or ignored some of them. Fast forward 20 years later, my mom appreciates the way I raised my children and she understands now why I made the choices I did. I am very, very glad I had the rules I did when my kids were young - I was right and I'm glad I held my ground. None of your choices sound extreme to me - limiting sugary snacks, limiting t.v., wanting a schedule and more time just the 3 of you, no trip to the beach at 4 months old - those are all reasonable choices. Cheri is right, your parenting ideas will change as your daughter grows. And she is right, your parents have things to contribute as grandparents. But that doesn't mean that you have to raise your children according to your parents' priorities and wishes. However, keep in mind a few things - whenever you talk about the way you want to raise your kids differently - many grandparents would see that as a criticism of how they raised you, their own child. Before you phrase things, think about how they might come across to your parents as implying that their methods were lacking. Also, be sure and make it a point to mention to your parents what they did right. My mom and I have different ideas about television, putting coke in baby bottles, etc., but my mom is also the person who taught me that when things look hopeless you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and work as hard as you can to change things. That is a gift she gave me infinitely more precious than riches or even education. Be sure and tell your parents what things they taught you that you will pass on to your children. Another suggestion that worked for us is that I told my mom that my husband wanted those rules. My mom simply ignored my rules if they were my rules, but she thinks my husband hung the moon and should have whatever he wants, so she (sometimes) listened if she thought it was my husband's wish. She did whatever she dang well pleased if it was just something I wanted. If my mom was particularly stubborn, my husband told her himself that he wanted it that way. Another thing that works well (with grandparents and babies) is to redirect. If your mom wants to take the baby somewhere, tell her no, now is not a good time, but this weekend would be great, how about then. Or if she wants to give the baby icing, tell her no, but baby loves sweet potatoes, why don't you give her that. Grandparents love to see "firsts" - first bite of chocolate, first time at the beach. Tell your parents, no, you can't take her to the beach this year, but when she's 2 you can take her and be there for her first time. You are being more than reasonable to limit tv, unhealthy snacks, limit visits to less frequently than daily or every other day, and set the expectation of higher education for your children early. Your mother is right, your daughter will express preferences of her own one day in education, food, hobbies, etc. That is still no reason not to set your standards high. If you are raising your daughter significantly different than the way you were raised, it will take years for your parents to change their minds. But when they see your daughter as a teenager, healthy and maintaining a healthy weight, doing well in school, winning awards and doing whatever extracurriculars (sports, violin, girl scouts, dance, whatever rings her bell), trust me, your parents will tell you you did your job well. I want to address something else cheri mentioned - her daughter's desire to use organic food, use cloth diapers, read to her children daily (I heartily endorse the part about reading to your children daily, by the way). The drive to be the best mom she could possibly be was strong in cheri's daughter, and even if her daughter changed her ways, she still probably has a strong drive to do her best. That drive should be honored, respected, and as much as reasonable should be indulged by grandparents. The realities of life will knock some practicality into the heads of young parents - let them have their dreams and give it their best shot. When my oldest was a baby my mother-in-law told me this, "In every young mother's life there comes a time when she has to look at her mother and say, 'Mother, you raised your kids the way you wanted, now it's my turn to raise my kids the way I want'." Be loving, be kind, include and affirm the grandparents, and let the grandparents have their way when it isn't important to you. But stand your ground with kindness on the things that matter. Everything you're asking for is reasonable and healthy for your child.