We have a fairly new master bedroom addition. We have curtain panels and will soon be adding bamboo/woven wood roman shades. I would select your furniture first. Window treatments are expensive, but so is furniture, and furniture is generally something that will last a lifetime. Once you have that in place, it might be easier to select window treatments.

Porkandham, that brings me to the second problem, we can't find bedroom furniture we like either.

The traditional look seems to heavy, the modern looks too stark. I've looked at most of the furniture stores, online and even craigslist.

It's my indecision that is holding me back and I don't know how to narrow the focus.

Should I go with the modern look and soften the room with fabrics and bedding? Keep the clean lines of furniture with the softness fabric gives?

Even if I were to to do that, I'd still struggle with the window coverings. Neither the shades nor the drapes seem quite right.

Oh, darling girl...
There is work to be done before you are ready to get out your checkbook!

If I were your designer, I'd bring you a big pile of a variety of shelter books (the industry term for all those lovely magazines like Elle Decor and Architectural Digest and Country Living and House Beautiful and Coastal Living and the rest....). I might also throw in some big design and decor books from the library - both new ones and old ones.

I'd give you a pad of yellow post-its, and your husband/partner a pad of blue ones. I'd instruct you to go through the mags and books by yourselves, and to put a post-it on everything that you love. If you can tell exactly what you love about it, you'd make a note on the post-it, but mostly you'd just flag everything you really liked. No editorializing, no "oh, I could never afford that," no "he'd never go for that," no "I shouldn't want this, but this photo makes me so happy," no "what would people think." Just a sticker on everything you react to positively.

Then I'd sit down with the pile and, based on my experience and training, I'd determine what characteristics run consistently through what you like. It might be a color scheme that keeps repeating, or an arrangement of furniture that is similar, or a thematic thread, or a balance of openness and cozy retreat...
Then I would think about what you and your partner have in common, and how you differ.
And I'd discuss my findings with you. Then we'd have a starting point based on your underlying dreams, your authentic sense of happiness at home, and how you share the space you live in together.

You can do this yourself. Put yourselves through the exercise, and see what you learn. You will likely discover that you do have a clear sense of what you want.

Now - aren't you sorry you asked!!!

I think a lot of looking and reading is in order. Drapery with grommets is about as casual as it gets. Although that style looks great it is not usually associated with elegant and traditional. Maybe a book of curtain styles with line drawings and pictures would be a good place to start. Stephanie Hoppen has a great book on curtains.

I found Joni's tutorial on curtains was very useful. Here is the article she posted on Cote de Texas.

As others have said, lots of pictures will help you find your style. This article has lots of photos and explanations why some stuff works and why some doesn't.

Grab a beverage, and get ready to read!

Here is a link that might be useful: Cote de Texas curtain article

Bronwynsmom, yes I'm very glad I asked and ecstatic that you responded with such helpful guidance!

We've done part of what you instructed but you took it to a much much higher level. I started an ideabook on Houzz quite awhile ago. I made my notations as you indicated but with more reserve then what you indicated to do. I can definitely see the logic in why a no holds bar examination actually helps narrow the focus. My DH will reluctantly look through pics for awhile, but not enough where I get the feeling of what he likes. He always seems very happy with what I pick out (perhaps he's just glad we finally have something) but he does truly does seem to like it - at least most of the time.

kswl- I was surprised to hear that since we've seen some fairly modern looks done with floor-to-ceiling drapery and really like the look

Speaking of floor-to-ceiling drapery, we were recently on a vacation and immediately when we went in one particular room, I was captivated with the room. I don't even remember what the bed looked like now but I do remember the drapery. Even though I say I don't like the heaviness of drapery, I guess I gravitate towards them more then I realize ESPECIALLY IRL!

beekeeperswife, thanks for the link.

I love that look too, aloha--- it is very clean and uncluttered and has a modern vibe that can be a welcome relief from a room that's otherwise too predictable. But it is a super casual style nonetheless. A good ID should be able to help you integrate that look into a more traditional setting so that it looks great. But if you just tell your designer you want "traditional" it's unlikely s/he would think of curtains with grommets.Transitional style would use an unexpected fabric or pattern for a grommet curtain that would make it fit in with more traditional furnishings.

IMO transitional and eclectic are the hardest styles to get right, because people seem to think that both mean "anything goes" when in fact the different elements in those rooms have to be even more carefully edited than most. Hoppen's book on curtains is a great primer on the dressmaker details and fabrics that go into really fine curtains. Many of them are deconstructed with respect to linings and it's interesting to see how they are made. Good luck on your room!

Places you've stayed are a great way to get inspiration for your own rooms. We stayed in an old victorian mansion that had a book-lined library with lots of wood trim, cozy seating, and a table with brandy and some snifters on it for guests. Every night after dinner, we went there and sipped our brandy before going to bed. It was luscious. We used that inspiration to design our own library.

A hotel room we stayed at in an old mansion in England had a window nook with a desk in it, that I loved...we used that as inspiration in our guest room. They also had a heated towel bar in the bath...yup, that's in our master bath now. The colors in guest room were inspired by blue and yellow flowers that were blooming in Wyoming when we went to yellowstone.

And yes, I have a whole notebook full of magazine pics that helped inspire the room we ended up with.

My point is, if you use something that you love as the inspiration for the room, you will love the room. And it gives you some direction and guidance upon which you can build the room. It makes decision making sooo much easier.

If you remember where you stayed, you may look on line...a lot of places have pictures of their rooms and public spaces posted on their website. It may have been the color of the room in addition to the drapes that you liked.

This was one fab room we stayed in...note the drape treatment over the bed which can be seen in the mirror...lovely.

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You don't need to buy a complete bedroom set all at once. I think you are overwhelming yourself. Break the job down into smaller pieces.
Buy the bed you love. Live with it. Get to know it. Then start adding pieces. You might find it's easier if you are only thinking about one item at a time.
In bedrooms I think it's much easier to go with plain colored draperies and put the wow fabric on the bed and chairs.

kswl. I think the thing that appeals to me about grommets are the way they stack so neatly w/o taking much space. We have wonderful views out of most of the windows, so I really don't want to have anything that takes away from the views. Even if I had window coverings in our great room, I don't think I'd hardly use them for actual privacy etc. We love both the daytime and night time views.

Annie, I wasn't able to find our hotel room online, but I have googled many "hotel rooms" just for ideas. I comb whatever pics I can check out. Actually I do have something in our current bedroom that I love. We have a very traditional electric fireplace that we purchased a few years ago. It is a beautiful piece of furniture. The person who purchased our previous house, wanted us to sell it but we declined. I didn't have a "home" for it in our new place at that point but I knew I would find one. Well that home ended up being our bedroom. I love it so much that I had decided even if it didn't "go" with whatever I picked out, I was going to keep it. Besides it being a beautiful piece, the "flame" actually looks more real then our gas fireplace in the great room. Between the beautiful view outside and the fireplace, it feels like a sanctuary when the lights are off. When the lights go back on, it's a whole other story.

We have been trying for at least 12 months to find a headboard & 2 nightstands. We would find a headboard we liked but the nightstands weren't right at all, or we'd find the nightstands and the headboard wasn't right. So last night we ended up going out looking at just headboards. We came across one that we've admired for awhile but the nightstands as I said weren't right (when the headboard was nice). It happened to be in the front of the store, and we both kept admiring it. We went throughout the store and found another headboard that we sort of liked and another which a PART of one I kind of liked. I was just trying to see what was out there new if anything. I had to remind myself, why I didn't get it, since they've had it for awhile. The only reason was because of the nightstand. The headboard is simple but elegant, it gives the bed a strong presence in the room, even with the views, and it goes wonderfully with the fireplace. We are about as unimpulsive as you can get (we over think all purchases) but we surprised ourselves and actually purchased the headboard and new mattress & boxsprings. The bed will be delivered tomorrow! It's a bit scary just taking the plunge (if you consider 12+ months a plunge) but I think we are going to be very happy with it.

We've never had a king sized mattress, so now we need all new bedding. I've got some ideas of what I want but will go through the task of getting an idea of what I want like Bronwynsmom directed. I know I like a layered look, solid colors and very good quality linens. I will look some more to see if I see anymore of a trend. I'll see if my DH has time. Luckily it's summer, so we don't have to hurry out and get anything for warmth. We can get by with a queen comforter for awhile. Does anyone have any favorite linens you like? or good webstores? We've always purchased mediocre quality before, but recently we've been exposed to nice quality bedding, and I'll never go back.

I'm going to have to kick some decision making up into high gear since our previous queen mattress is now in our master bathroom where we'll have to sleep until we have enough bedding to sleep in our bedroom. My DH is so cute. He pulled out some candles to make it as nice as sleeping in our master bath could be. With a DH like that, a girl has to make the bedroom that much more special.