I have spent the last 2 hours in the hospital with my dd. she is hooked up to an iv getting her 8 week treatment for a chronic illness she was diagnosed with when she was 5 yrs old (12yrs ago). She has been poked and proded so many times over the last 12 yrs it took them over an hour to find her vein today. The treatments control her illness, but make her feel rotten for a while.
MARCOLO. Are you telling me that you would be offending by a picture of her jumping off the blocks at a swim meet on a day she felt good enough to participate? are you also telling me that I came from" poor breeding and poor quality" for keeping this photo in a frame on our sofa table for my daughter to see?
I have found most of this post to be informative, a bit amusing, and sometimes a bit edgy :-). It might be that i am a bit sensitive today but come on folks, we dont have to be mean do we?
I am typing on an ipad, so sorry for any typos :-(

Marcolo, you're totally confusing things. No one here is upset that some choose not to display photos. I think what surprises us is that there IS a rule about not doing it. I don't give a flip if you do or don't display photos. Either way won't make me uncomfortable in your house.

I've just never heard of such a silly rule is all. No need to bash us. Good grief.

I sense a bit of anger....

In better-mannered times, there were good reasons not to put family photos in the living rooms. A "public" room was one where a wide variety of persons might enter--a pastor or elderly aunt; your accountant; an insurance salesman; church ladies coming round for coffee; work acquaintances; and of course close friends and family, too. First, you wouldn't want to share your entire personal life with every one of those people. However, you do want those people to feel welcome, and filling a room with family photos is an excellent way to telegraph, "This space is not for you."

My pastor and church friends happen to like my family too, as does my elderly aunt, otherwise I presume they wouldn't come around for coffee. Salesmen come by to do business with me, often uninvited. I try hard not to be too offended by the interruption. If there is business to be conducted, it is usually at the kitchen table or island, away from pictures.

Anyway, I used to think displaying or not displaying family photos in the living room were simply two alternative family traditions, equally valid. Now I realize that choice is a true mark of a person's breeding and quality. Useful to know, so thanks!

My mom didn't have much money but she loved her kids and hung terrible school-aged pictures of all of us proudly. I miss that home, and more importantly, my mom. I am quite proud of her "breeding and quality" So you're welcome!

Actually, I truly enjoy other people's displayed photos. I love a stairway lined with school portraits or wedding pictures, baby photos, whatever. It gives a sense of family & their history, plus there is something ever captivating about the human face for me. I'd rather look at a photo of people than a photo of a thing or place.

Wow, what a thread! My first thought in response to franksmom's question was a mental vision of the bra hanging on a bedroom doorknob and the issue of Playboy lying on the coffee table at an open house this past weekend. These fell into the area of Too Much Information for me. Photos of people (whether I know them or not) are too uninteresting to notice except as clutter.

Regarding xmas cards -- don't send them (don't celebrate xmas). Don't send any kind of holiday card. I don't know, I find it wasteful, and really, I'm just too lazy.

However, I LOVE getting the picture cards from family and friends. Love it. Look forward to it every year. Love to see how the kids have changed, especially for those I don't get to see all the time. And I don't find it wasteful since I don't throw them away.

I worry that because I don't send them (again too lazy), I will stop getting them. Luckily that hasn't happened yet.

I do not like getting non-picture xmas cards. Honestly those go right into recycling. Maybe because I don't celebrate xmas? But, even if I did, I think I would feel the same way.

For full disclure - I also hate birthday cards. They also go immediately into recycling. I think it is a total waste of trees and resources. I know, I'm a scrooge. Send me a happy birthday email and I'm happy! The only exception is if it's from one of my kids and either they made the card, or they wrote something special inside. Those I keep (see, I do have a heart!).

Marcolo, you're totally confusing things. No one here is upset that some choose not to display photos.

"I consider these "rules" to be absolutely ridiculous."

"But if you live in a modest, informal home, it's ridiculous."

"Pal, I think this particular decorating "rule" does deserve outrage. I don't know of one person IRL, even those many "classes" above me, who don't display family photo's in public areas/front rooms.

...Bottom line is, imagine if we followed every decorating rule there is? Our homes would be cold as all get out. "

"A home without fammily photos to me is more like a model home, or a department store. Just my opinion. "

The rudeness started on one side here. Coincidence? I don't know.

More than that, the folks who do display pictures have defended their choice in two different ways.

First, some think it's not unwelcoming to guests at all, and their guests seem to like the photos. This is a completely legitimate point of view.

Second, some clearly do not care if it is unwelcoming or not. "MY house MY rules MY pictures MY pleasure MINE MINE MINE ME ME ME." The truly shocking thing is that these individuals expect to be admired and respected for that point of view. They are doomed to severe disappointment in that regard.

Well, I guess I'm really tacky because I not only have a few candid snapshots of family around my house, but I actually have the gall to display oil portraits done of my children when they were teenagers! Oh, the horror! Imagine my dismay upon learning that I am causing undue stress to visitors in my home by choosing such personal artwork. I guess if my oil portraits were of strangers then it would be okay to have them on display? Is that the theory? This whole thing is ridiculous to me.

Look, I don't care what anybody does in their own home (or should I call it a house? Seems like I'm tacky all over the place) but in my home I like to surround myself with things that I love - and the thing that I love most in the world is my family. If any guests are made uncomfortable by my choice of artwork then so be it, although, for the life of me, I can't understand why some people think pictures of family are so objectionable as to actually cause them to be uncomfortable, as someone stated above. Really?

Decorate your in house in the way that you love and that makes you comfortable, and I'll do the same. To declare that one style or another makes someone tacky or low-class is actually exactly that - tacky and low-class. Live and let live, people. One way is not better than the other - just different. There is no right or wrong here.

I pretty much understand, Jillinnj. It's either a card, preferably minus canned statement, or a present with a little note-tag message here.

Regarding what to display, besides some communities being much more conservative or liberal than others, rewarding or disapproving of conformity and approving or punishing deviation, some people's houses are much more on display to strangers and much more of a public tool than others.

DH and I live very private lives; few come who aren't friends. Another couple I'm thinking of, though, entertain often and entertain big. They entertain for business (him, executive in a competitive field, sales) and work (her, public garden administrator and fund raiser), various community affairs (both), and church affairs (both). How their house strikes others can impact the success of an endeavor, and, as one would expect, it's properly nice, properly styled, and properly laid out for their needs (as in housekeeper, caterers, and kids all doing their own things out of sight). If there were family photos around the rooms I've been in, I did't notice.

Me, family pix'd go on the front door if we felt like it. We do have preschoolers' treasured art framed and hung in our foyer to greet visitors, and I'm assuming only some find this totally charming, but this is a personal indulgence we can afford. Literally and figuratively.

We display family photos on the family wall in the hallway. The only reason I don't have them elsewhere is because I have no realistic place to put them....YET...but all in due time. Like others have said, they bring us joy and who cares if someone else doesn't care for it.

Would I prefer to spend time with them in person? Sure, but we're 3000 miles apart so family photos on all levels of our house will have to do!

Well said, stbonner!

Marcolo - it seems to me that the bratty behavior is from the guest who is offended by actually seeing pictures of a host's family. You must be very sensitive to find innocuous photos of people to be so cringe inducing. If you make your feelings known on the subject IRL, I bet you will not have occasion to be so put upon too many times in the future.

While I do say that if someone is put off by my family photos, good riddance to them, that is more about their poor critical attitude than about "me, me, me". I would hope that if any of my friends or guests choose not to display photos in their house, that they would not show disdain for my choice when visiting. If I am extending hospitality to someone, I would hope they'd have the class to keep their horror at my displays of tackiness at bay. They can focus on the food or drink that we are offering and try not to let the pictures ruin their visit.

BTW - I happen to find the faces of my loved ones to be pleasing to my eye. Am I biased? You bet I am! I know full well that my precious darlings may not be someone else's favorite people in the world, but they are mine. I'd feel odd not showing them how proud I am. That does not make me a fawning parent nor one who prattles on about their kids. In our home, they are cherished, as is my husband. If that is my crime, I plead guilty. I just hope someday you have an apple of your eye who you will want to showcase in photos. I won't judge you for it, that is for sure. I'd much rather worry about letting them know how proud I am of them than to worry about someone who is an occasional guest being less thrilled with them. I will put up pictures where I feel appropriate. It is not like I am building a shrine and lighting candles to them. Although, if I did, I'd hope to be shown some compassion.

BTW - displaying photos is not incompatible with raising well mannered children who know the world does not revolve around them. They sure as heck know they are the center of our worlds, but we make it clear that the rest of the world is not as enamored. If someone's parents are not their biggest fans, then I feel sorry for them. Our home is our oasis from the sometimes harsh outside world. If we choose to feather our nest by looking at things that make us happy, then we have chosen wisely. If we are not attractive enough for you to put up with seeing in our photos, then I don't think you want to sit in our house having to actually look at us live!

Mostly I just want to say "get over it" and lighten up.

Really, Stbonner, I'm the one who said that huge family pictures in prominent display made me uncomfortable. When I say pictures, I mean photographs. And when I say ginormous, I'm talking the life size ones. I'm honestly not trying to offend anyone, and actually would never tell anyone of this reaction. I guess this anonymous forum allows me to share my "odd" reaction. I don't like that it occurs, but it does. So, please no one go away angry from this forum. It's just an anonymous exchange of ideas. I was raised to keep my mouth shut if I don't have anything nice to say so IRL, I'd wouldn't say anything.

I'm sure I would like the oil paintings of your children. Call me crazy, if you want, but paintings of people are different to me than large formal portrait pictures. I do enjoy seeing informal photos of people, just not huge ones!

To clarify and conclude, photos, large or small, nude or clothed are not going to keep me from spending time at a friend's house. However, the photo of the va-jay-jay would!

If anyone has seen the movie "White Chicks", this is the larger than life photo that one guy had on his wall. This would make me what I call "uncomfortable". A picture is worth a thousand words...

HEHEHE Doonie!

Well thats it then, I'm going to go ahead an hang my most resent picture of me lol. I think mostly we are all learning that we like who we are and what our beliefs are and no one is going to take that away. We are a bunch of strong minded folks who all have general decorating desires in common but maybe not a lot of other things. I can live with that.

If i'm not mistaken, doesn't this 'picture rule' apply only when you are selling your house, as it tends to make potential buyers uncomfortable? Did this originate with real estate agents asking the question or is it another 'dictate' by HGTV?

As for tacky, nothing could be worse than some of those HGTV diy's, so why would/should that advice be taken seriously? ;o)

This has been an interesting read for sure. I was aware that there was a "rule" or something about this topic but have never seen it in anyone's home. Not even my grandmother who was very prim and proper (born in 1908).

I am a believer that a person should be allowed to make the choice for their home. It really is as simple as that. They own the home and there for should be able to decorate as it pleases them. Whether that is family photos in the public areas or not.

I grew up in a house where there were family photos in the family room and hallway. I don't recall if there were any (maybe a couple) in the formal living room. But as a child I wasn't supposed to be in that room it was for grown ups.

In my home, I don't have both a family room and living room. I have a giant great space with LR, Kitchen, and DR combined. I've had tables of pictures, I have a mantel full of pictures, I've had no pictures and currently I have 5 pictures in the space. Three have loved ones that have passed that I can't bear to put up. The other two are of DH & I. They are changed out and updated regularly and they make me happy to see them and the memory attached.

In my hall bath, could be a guest bath to some, I have 1 picture of DH & I but our backs are to the photo and walking into the sunset. Other than that there are no photos in the public area of my home.

I have heard that you should never have personal photos in a guest room as it makes guests feel uncomfortable and I've abide by that. But I wonder how they'd feel if they ever knew those cute decorative looking boxes on the top of my secretary desk hold loved ones ashes. HAHA!

I am in the process of designing a gallery wall for my hallway that leads to the bedrooms. I love pictures, I love photography, I am very sentimental and plan to have things that mean something to DH & I. I hope it doesn't offend anyone to see pictures or mementos of our life together because I'm doing it anyways. :)

It that makes me a "brat" then so be it. I've worked hard my entire life to have a home with my husband that we are proud of and enjoy. I don't want to have to hide the memories for fear of someone who may be in my house for less than a few hours would be made uncomfortable. I don't parade guests around showing them pictures. I don't ask for attention or comments. It's who I am and 95% of the people who are in my home know me and accept me and my quirks.

Life's to short to worry about the other 5% and their reactions to something in my home.

I am a long time lurker, not so often poster, but this topic brought me out.
I too grew up with the "personal pictures not is public space", but don;t always follow this. We have old charcoals of great, great grandparents in the, few living room, few photos.
I am amazed at the rancor displayed by the pro photo faction. Yes it is your choice, but really, not the only choice, and in my opinion, not the best choice.

In my world, this is a public space:

This is not:

" . . . and in my opinion, not the best choice." That's ok. You don't live with me. ;-)

I get the impression that guests in some of these houses would be terrified NOT to tell you what a "warm lovely home," you have or how awesome all your pictures are for fear of making you their enemy--even if your house was straight out of Hoarders.

So just because I like to have pictures of my family out I'm now a hoarder, and I am so insecure that everyone who sees my house has to compliment it? This is beyond ridiculous. To each his own, I said - too bad that my "own" has to conform to yours. I'm out of this thread.

Agreed. They are probably also terrified to speak at all, considering the pro-picture faction's complete inability to understand clear and plain English. "What do you mean MY house is TOO WARM? I keep MY house at the temperature WE like for MY family, and too bad for you!"

If i'm not mistaken, doesn't this 'picture rule' apply only when you are selling your house, as it tends to make potential buyers uncomfortable? Did this originate with real estate agents asking the question or is it another 'dictate' by HGTV?

The rule long predates HGTV.

Interesting point, though. Most people can accept and understand that family photos everywhere make a buyer feel like they are intruding on someone else's private space. But some then want to turn around and pretend a guest has no right to feel the same way. Logic is not a strong suit with the pro-photo crowd, either, apparently.

auntjen, you allow guests into your living room, I presume? Well, since they are already in a "private space," I guess you must also let them rifle through your underwear drawer, or flip through your bank statements, right?

After all, there is no gradation of private versus public in your world--it's just a light switch, on or off. Where others may recognize a spectrum starting on a public street; through your front lawn, where your neighbor might stop by to say hello; your porch, where your neighbor might converse with you, or even come up and visit if you invite them, yet without expecting to enter your house; your front entryway; your living room; and ultimately your bedroom or master bathroom. I think most people would be able to identify a gradation from public to private in these spaces.

Not you though--if a guest is in the living room, they might as well be in your negligee drawer.

I am just reiterating what I am reading in these threads:

"If a guest doesn't like X Y or Z they are not welcome in my home. (Although I don't see where anybody from the anti-picture set said it OFFENDED them...maybe I missed it)"

A guest who does not find SOMETHING to compliment about the decor they are just rude, and they don't deserve to be invited back

My MIL said X about my decor and wonders why she is not invited to my house

BIL said ___ about my ____ and that was his last invitation to my house.

Obviously your guest's behavior is being monitored carefully

I don't give a _ _ _ _ if my guests think I live in the most hideous pretentious house ever. I don't care if they are remarkably incurious about my family.

They are there because we enjoy each other's company for some reason, no other. If they are thankful for the company and the hospitality in whatever way they care to express it, that is enough.

Time to recall this much-loved adage: Never wrestle with a pig. The pig likes it, but you only end up getting dirty.

How unsurprisingly ill-mannered.

It is very clear to any reader that some of the pro-picture crowd must be aware they are doing something wrong. Hence the overdramatic hysterics. The insistence on reading into every post something it clearly does not say. The rigid, doctrinaire insistence that it is wrong not to display family photos, because it makes your house cold, sterile, commercial. The frothing inability to even engage in rational discourse.

Clear signs of guilt, I think.

I have found this entire thread to be so interesting. I never knew about the "not displaying pictures rule" until a friend mentioned that she had worked with a decorator who told said friend that she might want to take some of her family pics down since it was a decorating "faux pas".

In my own home I have quite a few family pics scattered around on tabletops-not many family pics at all hanging on the walls. I don't know why but I guess I do feel like they are a bit "in your face" perhaps. I did recently just hang two 16 x 20 senior pics of my two daughters in what I affectionately refer to as the "lower level" (new finished basement) I think the photographer did an awesome job of capturing their sweet, young spirits. I am proud of my girls and I will enjoy looking at them.

As some others have said, I don't think either view is wrong. I don't think those who choose not to display family photos are "cold", nor do I think the photo displayers are "narcissistic". I think people should live and let live!

I would like to add that although my living room is void of family pics,my child is not devoid of love or pride. She is so much more to me than a pretty picture.

It seems to me that some of us grew up or learned through association what the rules of good manners are. Please and thank you, don't make an ostentatious grab for the check when eating out, never mention how much something cost, use your napkin and your handkerchief, keep your left hand in your lap at the table....yes! even at Mc Donalds or an outdoor picnic table!
And...don't place personal pictures in the public places of your house, and keep the ashes of your pets and husband and any other relatives tastefully in your bedroom, or better yet behind doors in a cabinet. One does not display diplomas nor certificates of merit nor achievement anywhere but at your place of business.
Feel free to think me stuffy and cold because I do not display these things in the rooms where I entertain guests....and I will feel equally free to think you are ill mannered and don't know any better when I see the tastefully framed Olin Mills pictures of your children on your living room wall.

"I will feel equally free to think you are ill mannered and don't know any better when I see the tastefully framed Olin Mills pictures of your children on your living room wall."

LOL! And you would be right because I AM ill mannered...but at least the pictures are tastefully framed! (poking you in ribs, lindac)

Not that another opinion is really needed, but here is a designer's blog post about the subject. In the post she references a book called 101 Things I Hate About Your House which could be fodder for a few more threads here!

As I stated above, folks do tend to bristle when they are told they are breaking a rule.

I had to add my response to the "everyone" has family photos displayed comments though. I, like many others here, don't. Actually I do have one. A pic of my grandmother and her parents taken in 1905. Most people I know don't display family pictures. My parents didn't and I didn't feel less loved because there weren't photos of me all over the place.

Do I dislike family photos in other people's houses? Not really. I don't care for those JC Penney-type portrait studio pics and a huge display of family photos staring at me from across the room does not make me feel welcome but I can deal with them.

Of course, there's a rule against family photographs in the public spaces. Designers don't want their lovely work sullied by bad photographs. Bad photographs might destroy their work.

It's a stupid rule unless you're a designer, of course... or someone who likes to follow rules. :)

The only "rancor" I see by the pro-photo side is the ire we feel at being accused of bad manners. Personally, I don't care whether or not one has any photos anywhere, but the judgment about folks who do choose to have photographs in so-called "public spaces" is just ridiculous.

What next? I'm supposed to greet my guests in heels, white gloves, and a hat?

It stands to reason that times have changed. For instance, the kitchen is now a vital part of the house even when entertaining. It is not just a room tucked away in a corner where the servants prepare the food.

I guess none of you are "White Chicks" fans???

Jterrilyn, your portrait really does scare me! I think it would make a great Candid Camera skit! LOL!

"First, you wouldn't want to share your entire personal life with every one of those people. However, you do want those people to feel welcome, and filling a room with family photos is an excellent way to telegraph, "This space is not for you."

The most fun I've had on this thread is contemplating the photos or portraits I might have in a living room that would in fact share my "entire private life" with guests. Shots from my last colonscopy? Photos of my bank statement? My psychiatrists' notes? Hmmm. Those *would* be oversharing. The fact that I have kids, or parents, or went on vacation to the mountains once....I don't consider those to be oversharing. I'm not in the witness protection program--everyone knows I have kids and going to the mountains isn't a clandestine event.

I have never felt that family photos in another person's home are saying that the space is not for me. If anything, I think they are there to provide info about my host, and they give me an opportunity to say nice things or ask questions that show interest in my host. Which I am happy to do, especially if I don't know the person well and might otherwise be at a loss for light topics.

What throws me is when I bump into an acquaintance and they whip out their cell phone and proceed to show me their whole family album on a 2" screen. One or two are OK but after a dozen or more do you pretend to drop the phone? Just hand it back to them?

To me, that's personal things in a public space.

Oh deedee, now isn't that the truth?! Arghh.

"It's a stupid rule unless you're a designer, of course... or someone who likes to follow rules. :)

The only "rancor" I see by the pro-photo side is the ire we feel at being accused of bad manners.

The irony is perfect.

Of course, no one accused the pro-photo side of bad manners at all (until they started displaying extraordinarily bad manners in this thread). This passion, this fanaticism, to fantasize and imagine and fabricate persecution is really amazing--especially coming from the side that launched an unprovoked attack on other people for daring to follow different rules in their own homes, proclaiming those who dared disagree as "ridiculous."

As I said, I no longer think displaying photos in a living room is simply a different choice--as I did before I read this thread. I think it's an expression of a personal flaw. The praise-circle generation meets the tweeting-my-bathroom-visits generation. Look at me, look at me, look at me, I'm the only one who matters, I'm so special. Such tackiness is embarrassing to watch here, as I am sure it is to their guests.

Wow Bumblebeez nailed it for me, and Cindy also. Photos from the past on some level can be unsettling to me, bittersweet is a great way to phrase it. I prefer not to see old photos all the time, only occasionally.

Marcolo, you are taking this conversation way too seriously.

"This passion, this fanaticism, to fantasize and imagine and fabricate persecution is really amazing--especially coming from the side that launched an unprovoked attack on other people for daring to follow different rules in their own homes, proclaiming those who dared disagree as "ridiculous."

NO ONE is attacking you for "daring to follow different rules." We are objecting to your assertion that we are breaking rules - rules that are completely archaic except from a pure design perspective. - This has nothing to do with ridiculing you for how you choose to decorate your own home. If you are uncomfortable with other people seeing photos in your home, don't display them...or have the butler remove them before he allows your guests to enter your home.

:)

You're not the rule police, hon. Lighten up.

I'm not sure how anyone on the "pro" or "anti" photo debate (did I really just write that?) can take any of this serious!! We are ALL entitled to our difference of opinion so let's just leave it at that. Some like displaying photo's all over their home, others don't think it is appropriate. I think EVERYONE needs to just move on and stick to whatever they want to do or not do and be done with it! i don't feel ANYONE can make such rules towards others homes!

Personally I don't even have a living room AND I am too lazy to put up too many photos!! I wish I could blame my laziness on being pro or anti photo displays!! :)

The opinions that are held with passion are always those for which no good ground exists; indeed the passion is the measure of the holders lack of rational conviction. Opinions in politics and religion are almost always held passionately.
Bertrand Russell, Sceptical Essays, 1961
British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 - 1970)

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?
Plato

Just a little philosophy for the fodder since the humor didn't seem to work...

I don't think Marcolo claims to the the rule police. Marcolo was pro-choice until the photo contingent got all bent out of shape about this rule they supposedly didn't even know existed.

I think there is a lot of misinterpretation --more than usual-- going down in this thread.

Doonie, I think you nailed it. The Bertrand Russell quote was good too.

lirio, you reminded me of something my father (who died last year) used to mutter under his breath when provoked, "All hail the goddess Ydgrun". And mtnrd, for what it's worth, while my mother was eager for a copy of the ultrasound of our first child, my father kept well away from what he saw as his daughter's innards rather than his future grandchild. It was probably thanks to him that I spent my early adolescence reading and rereading a very early edition of Emily Post's "Etiquette", hoping to become the next Mrs. Bobo Gilding (the former Lucy Wellborn). But sadly, born too late for white gloves, calling cards with or without the corner turned down, and "at homes".

I don't know what Bobo and Lucy would make of a world where self-discipline and self-control somehow got traded in for self-esteem, around the time of letting it all hang out, long before Twitter and Facebook, where now friends are those who friend you and privacy is for the faint-hearted. I don't know what to make of it most of the time.

Marcolo and Pal, I can't send you flowers so instead I'll send along a virtual copy of John Betjeman's "How to Get On in Society".

Kindest regards,

Becky

Excellent Donnie!!! I hope this ends it all on a happy note...sorta an agree to disagree gig. Maybe I'll start a post on whether or not one should Ever give the price of things bought lol. Can you imagine "me" starting a post like that tehe. I consider finding deals on CL or garage sales an Olympic sport.

Since this is a decorating forum, I will approach this from a decorating point of view. Nicely framed family photos in a pleasing arrangement are decor. A row of cheaply framed Sears Photo Studio pictures floating 2 feet above the sofa are not. However I don't think that those who would hang photos that way are reading this board. If one has both a formal living room and a family room the aforementioned pleasing arrangement should probably go in the family room, but many people only have one living space, so I think that some kind of balance can be struck, as Jen has shown with her comfortable living room featuring family photos and other art. I have been in homes where the only decorative items are family photos, and it does feel a bit awkward.

How many threads have there been where someone is asking for an opinion on the family grouping of pictures 'staggering' up a stairwell wall? Were you *not* honest and commented on what a beautiful family the poster had? And did you not offer your ideas for arranging those frames in a 'pleasing' format? And when all was said and done, did you not comment how beautiful the final results were? Shame on you for *not* 'doing your diligence' in having enough chutzpah to set the poster straight in her/his ignorance re:family photographs in public spaces. Or were you just 'making nice'? ;o)

I do not need to see 157 different photos of your family if I am merely calling on you to talk to you about the neighborhood association meeting to be held that weekend. I'm NOT your friend. I am a social acquaintance, a term which it seems is not understood in these informal times . There is a different level of interaction expected between someone you barely know and a member of your own family. I feel sad having to explain that fact. It should be self evident that you do not treat strangers as you would your family. The distance from A to D is much further than from A to B.

As an acquaintance, I do not expect to be invited into the family areas of your home. Nor do I want to be. It would make me extremely uncomfortable to be in the middle of rambunctious kids playing baseball indoors while your husband reads the newspaper in his underwear. Those displays of poor manners are for those who can stomach them---supposedly your family. Although I could not stomach them in my own family, I suppose someone somewhere doesn't mind, as all formality has been excised from all social interactions and hourly play by play commentary of one's own self importance has become expected, ala Facebook and Twitter.

I do not need to know that a work acquaintance is experiencing a bad bout of stomach flu, especially the number of times the affliction has gripped him. That experience was the last time I logged in to Facebook. I prefer not to want to know any intimate details of my acquaintance's lives. That is too closely akin to pornography in my book. TMI.

If I were interested in more personal details, the acquaintanceship perhaps would progress to friendship status if the other person agreed with the change. This would leave a still further layer of family status to be pierced. It appears to some to be a quaint and "ridiculous" notion that I can know you and not be your friend or not want any more forced intimacy with you than I have to endure. Braggadocio photographs of your dreadful family fall into the forced intimacy category if they are in the foyer or formal living area of your home where you invite guests that are not family. You are forcing an intimacy that does not exist, and I prefer not to exist.

Your living room is certainly "your" home, but it shows a lack of sensitivity to fill it full of objects that would make casual acquaintances feel uncomfortable. I have zero interest in viewing your KKK memorbilia, your daughter's shadowboxed placenta, and your cheesy fake canvas "oil painting" photographs of your children's graduation. Was it so surprising that they were graduated that you need a daily reminder that they actually passed that milestone? These displays are private and are offensive to me because I do not know you well enough to see these items. Frankly, after seeing them, I'm certain that keeping my distance from any further deepening of the acquaintanceship is probably the wisest course.

@ hollysprings - Provocative yet so completely graceless and affected. I think that your mother did not raise you nearly as well as you believe she did.

you are OFFENDED by seeing an acquaintance's graduation pictures??? WOW, WOW, WOW!!!

imo, it is inexplicably rude to be invited into a neighbor's house to discuss the upcoming association meeting and CHOOSE to be offended by almost any aspect the decor!!
and to group a graduation photo with KKK memorabilia or a displayed placenta or a husband sitting around in his underwear is ludicrous!!!
maybe you write for a preposterous, prime time sit-com?????