The MN DNR has some websites showcasing landscaping with native plants in the Metro area... never could put up a link that actually worked, but try www.dnr.state.mn.us/gardens/nativeplants/index.html You've probably run across most of this in your "idea stage" for converting to natives, but in all the available info from the DNR there must be a key to local regs or at least as to what is generally considered acceptable on one's own property. We had a few hotly contested incidents when I lived in Maryland. And it was decided that there was a big difference between simply letting a yard revert to unkempt weeds and gardening with native plants.

All your comments and advice are terrific. I'm not involving the police on this one. I have involved them before though. A "neighbor" (such a benign word for a family of human miscreants) decided he could cut branches off my trees and dig up plants hanging over my backyard fence. He believed in his tiny brain that he had a property right to do so. Behind my house we have a large public alley, basically a road. He lives across the road and he and his dad clean all organic matter out of their gravel with a tweezer. Of course, my yard is an affront to their sterile GRAVEL-WORLD. After he cut branches the first time, I got him to agree to not do it again without my permission. Of course, he couldn't help himself, because the voices in his head kept telling him to cut. That's when the police told him to stop or they'd arrest him. They told him what he thought was his right was only in his imagination, not actual law. After I worked for several years to get chicanes (2 half traffic circles) installed on our street to slow traffic, I was labeled a property rights thief by a psychotic neighbor. She convinced the neighborhood drunk and others that I had violated his property rights. Even though most neighbors liked having the chicane, the evil-doers (Rumsfeld would have called them "a group of dead-enders")vandalaized the chicanes, my property, and even took the lug nuts off one of my car wheels (under cover of darkness). Anyhow, I lived here in a hostile environment for about 4 years. yes, that's how long the anti-chicane activists persisted. Their evilness and inability to get their way ate away at them and they all moved away. It's now really quiet and nice here. So, this cherry thing is small potatoes. A couple days after this cherry incident, a man was killed in an altercation around his caring for plants in a traffic circle.

bnicebkind--There isn't enough space on here for me to tell it all. Suffice it to say that she undermined, interfered, and manipulated everyone around her. We just caught the brunt of it because we lived closer and were more available to her. I bit my tongue constantly, tolerated it for 9 years and let it roll off of me. Finally had enough and when I tried to talk to her about it, she didn't like it. Luckily my husband stood with me, or I guess we would be divorced by now. She is just an evil person and after 5 years of being totally away from the entire family, we have peace. The stress of it was creating health problems for me, although at the time I didn't recognize it. Afterwards, all the health problems quickly disappeared. That is what made me realize how bad stress can be. We have all the normal stresses in life, but we don't have outsiders contributing to the stress. I have healed from it, but I will never forget it. Even after this much time, none of it has lessened in my mind. Occassionally someone tries to "pop in" on our lives, but we have managed to quickly knock them back in their holes. In fact, just recently SIL tried to contact us, but I quickly stopped that one and let her know in no uncertain terms were any of them welcome. I refuse to allow them the opportunity to create that kind of havoc in our lives again. When people make your life miserable, then you need to remove them from your life. It doesn't matter who it is and I don't believe in "blood is thicker than water". We have no regrets other than I regret I took it for so long. I do occassionally wonder who her vicitm is now, because I know she has one, but I am thankful it isn't me anymore.

callmerae, I got interrupted, so I'll continue... About treating kids the same. The kids are different, I'm the same. One child could have a strong willingness to please, and that child would be very sensitive to punitive treatment and be very hurt. Whereas another child may have experienced a lot of turmoil in their young life, and be somewhat immune to punishments. (punishment was never in my parenting dictionary) What may benefit one child, may not benefit another. One child will be more insecure than another--I think that you need to be aware of the child to the extent that you are able to help a child. For instance, if an older child doesn't brush their teeth, you wouldn't handle the same behavier (or lack thereof) as a much younger child. What I mean to say is that I believe in logical consequences. I also believe in asking for forgiveness when I realize I've been wrong. That still happens. I also learned to take my time and think things through before I would make up my mind about something. My kids and I had an agreement that before they would come to me about something--that they needed to have all their facts. I couldn't make decisions if I didn't have all the facts. Of course, I'm now talking about older kids. Sometimes I would ask my kids what they thought should be done. I would let them choose their own consequence. They liked that, and it was fine with me. Guess what! It worked. If my kids didn't clean their room, I closed the door. The room would get so messy that I finally would call them into the room and say, OK--I'll help you. Then I would sit there and just point to something and say, OK, now put that away. I might have done a little--but just enough to let them know they had help. That's how so many things got done around our house. I helped them and they helped me. Sometimes things didn't get done in a timely fashion--but stuff got done--and years go by and who gives a good gosh darn. Your relationship with the children and your husband is much more important than any household chore. Believe me!!! Sometimes I would sit at the table at night trying to figure out how I could get them to feel like a part of things. Some ideas worked, most didn't. LOL But you see where I am going with this. The kids have to see how they fit into the picture--how they can predict what's going to be happening. They need to know that they matter. I sure didn't always do what my kids wanted--good grief. But there were lots of things that they were able to have some input. They liked that a whole lot!!! Callmerae, I think that we assume our kids know what we mean, when so often there are words that they don't understand. This is especially true with the ages in your home (and younger). Another thing...when you talk to a kid, be in front of them--kneel to be at their eye level, or sit together at the table, or put their buts down on the kitchen counter. But be at their eye level. Look them in the eyes. My one kid was very short, he used to set himself on the counter--did for years. Maybe it made him feel better. Now some people would feel threatened by that. I never did. When my kid got himself up on the counter to talk to me--I knew he meant business. LOL (an old lesson) Talk to them in a way that they know you are--being funny, being silly, being serious, being angry--but communicate. Don't call out orders or reminders from a distance. Get their attention. If you think you are being ignored--tell them so, in a nice way. Ask a child to tell you back what it is that you want of them--not in a punitive way--but because you want to be sure you are communicating. Most of all, make sure you are giving them positive attention every day. Don't assume that children appreciate you--and don't expect it. If they should, then you know that child is very sensitive. But just don't expect a child to understand the turmoil you are feeling, or appreciate the fact that you are at odds with the dad, AND children shouldn't not be hearing about private matters between you and your husband. Don't forget, the way you and your husband talk to each other will be mirrored by your children in the future. You are teaching them the tools they'll have to fall back on when they are older. When a kid does something right, or listen to you, or says thank you, whatever--always acknowledge their appropriate behavier. Say thank you often. When you have to say no, say it as kindly as you can--and don't repeat it. Let your no be no and your yes be yes. You may not agree with your husband. Perhaps if he sees that you are giving of yourself--as I already know you do!, he will come around. He has to think about it. Continue to learn and improve. Best to you.