How do you have an in-law live with you and keep your sanity?
16 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (46)
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
Related Discussions
Do you have room to keep your finds?
Comments (22)Welcome to all my relatives. I live in a small 4 room house. DH has one bedroom for his office, stuff,& twin bed on boxes. Mine has my huge computer desk, and no floor space to put anything of any size. My cat sleeps by my electric radiator heater. I have long plastic storage boxes under my bed, a small four drawer unit in my closet, & am hiding a new gardening book that I paid #30 for & that was 1/2 price, an extra shelf hung on the closet door piled high and underhung w/ clothes. Storage container under my "puter desk. A bench at the foot of my bed piled high w/ papers & books, also on my bed that rotates from my desk chair to bed day/night. And the list goes on. My living room is called a ware house by one son, but it is oxygen blessed w/ way of the many house plants and I want more. My kitchen has 2 aero gardens hung on the wall, plants on all windosw sills, DH put 2 extra shelves on 2 windows. I use plastic shelving units because the kitche is bereft of adequate cabinets. DH built shelving down the basement stairs for pantry & it is maxed out w/ food. Oh yes, the bathroom is a postage stamp size room for one person unless one is in the tub. The steps are over populated w/ stuff also. The bottom of the steps received a shelf unit yesterday that is not full yet. The window has 2 plastic crates w/ a box on top for storeage, w/ 2 6" pots of onion sets on top w/ 8 noses up to get the afternoon sun. 2 rose bushes live there and the garlic pot went outside 2 days ago. I finally brought up the last 5 amaryllis buulbs from the basemnt yesterday, cleaned out the pots, cut off the roots and repotted them w/ fresh dirt that lives outside the back door on the walk w/ 2 other bags of potting amendments. My basement is a vertiable warehouse of food, dishes, laundry machines, storage storage, junk, empty boxes, exercise equipment that we threaten to use some day. My DH keeps paint cans, et all in one corner........ His garage is worse, no car has been in the 2 car building since we moved here 3 years ago. Sunday he hauled out an oil tank to make room for shelf units so he could unload tools etc. from his car plus the stuff he brought home from his mothers, she is moving into assisted living... He put up a canopy for his car, and it only fits 2/4 way under it now because of the stuff he hauled home, & I stacked there. Being a handy mand he has all kinds of advantages to adopt other peoples cast offs that might be usefull someday. Not to mention what is lined up against and behind the garage, including the suburban he got 25 plus years ago, along w/ the other 2 suburbans that live in the front of the garage along w/ my buick and the 23 foot trailor we hauled to Oregon and back 17 yeass ago, overloaded and had to stop to put stuff in a storage unit that we retrieved coming back a year later, & only 1/2 of it came back... and it is full too.....another trailor lives on daughters property, full of goodies, like a small pot belly stove I want to use for a plant stand someday, and my 30 year old Mother Earth magazines. Hoarding is an addiction according to an article in Readers Digest last month. If/when I move to my won home I will have a gigantic "curb sale" Not to mention all the 70 plus pots of flowering plants in the yard. When I get my own home they go w/ & some that will get dug up too. 3 violet leaves I propagated produced 13 babies & I put the original leaves back in water. YUP I belong to this family... Vangy love to play in the dirt & in the kitchen w/ food....See MoreDo you have trouble keeping up with your berry picking?
Comments (7)Well, I think that happens to everyone pretty much, unless they're retired or something. I know that this summer, I've neglected my garden a LOT compared to last year, because I've been doing major home improvement projects that I neglected for a couple of years to do my garden. You just take the good with the bad, and realize that NEXT YEAR will come fast. Six months ago, it was snowing here and I was just starting to sow peppers, etc., indoors under lights. It practically seems like yesterday. Now, those things are bearing, frost will be here soon, then the holidays, then it will be time to start again. The cycle of the seasons. Most species of berries don't self-sow all that much from what I've found. Black raspberries, mulberries, and shadberries can be bad. The rest not so much....See MoreHave You Ever Had to Decide Between Your Job or Your Sanity?
Comments (18)First of all I want to Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your advice & compassion. I have been very stressed over all of this and I could feel the genuine concern you have for our situation. Just to fill in a few blanks, we are both now 56 yo. DH has his BA & MBA & a certified Project Manager. He worked AND went to school at same time. I'm afraid I am lacking in the educational department. I have 2 AA degrees in nothing marketable, & got my RE License about a month(2006) before the market started crashing-but left because of my DM deteriorating health at the time. But, actually I was the main caregiver for both of my parents from 2001 until 2007 in our home until they both passed. Dad had cancer & Mom had Alzheimer/dementia. About 2 months after my DM died (Dec '07) I started babysitting(Feb'08) for my 2 granddaughters until just this past November '09, when I started working part-time again. Can't believe I did the formula, diapers, potty-training all over again, but my girls were a good distraction from my grief. My DS & DDIL paid when the could, what they could,--most of the time, not at all, but I just wanted to help them out & make sure the girls were safe with me. It was never about the income, it was all about what was best for my GDD's. Last summer I looked into a local university here & wanted to start school to get a Gerontoloy Certificate ( would take 18 months) & eventually work in Hospice & for seniors. (Heck, I am a senior now too according to Bob Evans--lol) I guess I am just destined to be a caregiver all my life. I started the application process & was told I would probably be eligible for Finacial Aid, but I think working Full Time has to be my priority now. I've been brainstorming to think of any additional means of bringing in some income--like maybe renting out the in-law quarters of our home. Selling off some jewelry--only about $200.00 worth, but every bit has to help. We're down to 1 car which we "juggle". Right now, everything just seems up in the air. We might know more by this week-end, when either my DH's project goes well or comes crashing down & him with it. I am preparing for the crash down, because in the past few weeks, anything that could go wrong, has gone wrong. Like servers going down for hours, connection problems etc. One manager just walked off the job, because he said he couldn't take the pressure anymore. So, Thank you, thank you, thank you, all for taking the time just to let me talk/write about this & for listening. I know there are those here with far worse problems (health etc) & my problems are miniscule compared to theirs, but I thank you again for your suggestions & support. God Bless ~~ katclaws...See MoreHow long have you lived in your home and do you plan to stay?
Comments (87)Dh and I have lived in our current house for our entire marriage, 17 years. Truthfully, it was being built when we got married, so we lived in an apt for 2 months, then my parents for a month then it was ready. We live on the outskirts of a waterfront tourist town. We were supposed to be here for 3 years. Dh was in the Navy and this was not supposed to be our forever home as we anticipated being transferred by the Navy. However, dh realized the Navy was not meant to be his career as he didn't want to constantly move once we had kids. We wanted to live close to one of our families, but unfortunately, they live on opposite coasts. He is from the San Francisco Bay Area, and I am from the Wash DC area. Since it was the height of the tech boom at the time dh was getting out of the Navy, and we simply could not afford a home in the Silicon Valley, he got a job here, which fortunately is only 25 minutes from my parents. And here we've stayed. It is NOT my dream home. I don't even really like it. It was small when we moved in, and even smaller after having four kids! We looked around at moving to a different home, but absolutely love our neighbors and our community so finding a home that fit our needs was very difficult. We live in a high COL so home prices made it hard to find something that fit our desires while still being affordable. 10 years ago, we added on and while the space has helped, it hasn't changed the fact that our floorplan isn't desirable to us. We live in a waterfront community with very strict building codes, so we worked within that and have maxed out what we can do w/o completely gutting the house and starting over. With four kids in private school and one off to college in four years, I've pretty much resigned myself that we won't be moving anytime soon, nor can we really afford at this point to do any major changes that would help. I am constantly looking at houses for sale in the area, but the only affordable ones are in tract home subdivisions and that's not type of community we desire. So we make do with what we have. And it's not that my house is bad, but it's not set up well for entertaining, something I'd love to do more often, we had to give up our fabulous screened porch when we added on and cannot add another due to space constraints. I miss that terribly. On the bright side, we have wonderful neighbors, live in a waterfront neighborhood so the kids can fish, swim, kayak, ride their bikes freely (community is a peninsula w/no through traffic), etc. My dream is to move into the historic district in our tourist town where we can walk and bike everywhere. We live 5 miles from there now, but not on bike-friendly roads (though dh is an avid biker and rides them, no way my kids can). There are some really fabulous Arts & Crafts cottages, as well as many other architecturally interesting homes that date back to the 1700s. My hope is to move into one of them some day and have that be our forever home, with a second home in another climate. I wish I could love this home and think of it as my forever home, but it is not ideal for aging. We have three floors, with bedrooms all on the third floor as the garage/rec room are "under" the main living level. My parents still live in the house I grew up - they are going on 50 years there. They will stay until it's too much for them as it's perfect for aging, a rancher. All that said, as much as I want to move, the idea of moving is dreadful to me, which is probably one of the reasons I haven't really pushed for it. The thought of trying to keep my home in "show" condition with four kids, a huge dog that sheds, well, not fun. So perhaps a small part of me continues to find something undesirable about any of the houses I'm always looking at. I figure if I'm going to go through the hassle, the house has to be pretty close to what I want! Love all the interesting stories!...See More- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 11 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 10 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 10 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 10 years agolast modified: 10 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 8 years ago
- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
- 6 years ago
- 6 years ago
- 6 years ago
- 6 years ago
Related Stories

MOST POPULAR10 Tips for Organizing Your Closets and Cabinets
Add to the enjoyment of your home with these easy organizing strategies and containers — after you pare down, of course
Full Story
MOST POPULARDecorate With Intention: 12 Remodeling Sanity Savers
When the idealistic visions subside and reality sets in, these tips can help keep your spirits up and your work on track
Full Story
FURNITUREHow to Keep Your Upholstery Looking Good
You wouldn't expect your car to maintain itself. Show your sofa and chairs the same courtesy with this 3-part strategy
Full Story
DECORATING GUIDESDitch the Rules but Keep Some Tools
Be fearless, but follow some basic decorating strategies to achieve the best results
Full Story
MOST POPULAR10 Strategies for Keeping Surfaces Clutter-Free
The universe wants your coffee table to become a clutter magnet — but you can fight back
Full Story
ADDITIONSParents' Places: Ideas for Integrating an In-Law Suite
Get expert advice and inspiration for adding a comfy extra living space to your home
Full Story
SMALL HOMESHouzz Tour: A Young Couple's Bright and Cheerful In-Law Suite
A smart, budget-friendly makeover transforms an in-law apartment into a home for a graphic designer and her husband
Full Story
KITCHEN DESIGNHow to Keep Your White Kitchen White
Sure, white kitchens are beautiful — when they’re sparkling clean. Here’s how to keep them that way
Full Story
HOUZZ TOURSMy Houzz: 2 Dwellings Keep Things All in the Family
Grandparents get a newly built guest cottage in Portland, while the main bungalow benefits from a major overhaul
Full Story
TRADITIONAL HOMESHouzz Tour: A Historic Remodel Keeps the Romance Alive
It was love at first sight for the owner of a 2-centuries-old house. She and her husband renovated it with tender loving care
Full StorySponsored
stargazzer