Lol! I got the username from my old cat Tiger who was a Ginger Cat & the lettuce part, well from the catlettuce he used to throw up once in while & leave me on the floor-I know gross! My son used to always say "Mom!! Tiger left "catlettuce" on the floor!!" I'd post a pic (of me not the cat-lettuce) but not sure how?

Kathline, "LOL. The way i read it, this was the incident that was being talked about that happened the other night." I wasn't as clear as I could have been! Sorry! :) "I think you should be quite pleased that your daughter immediately confessed to the truth when confronted in a calm rational manner by you." I am pleased she confessed. But she didn't "immediately told the truth when you asked her", she lied when I asked her, then when I told her no snack until she remembered, she suddenly remembered. Then I asked her if she had forgotten or she just didn't want to tell me, and we went through the whole, I'll be more mad if you lie routine, then later she "remembered" that she had chicken strips or something like that.. I agree that "overreacting by punishing a child, when the child does voluntarily tell the truth, at six, after being questioned, can do more harm that good in the long run, as the child ages and the ability to be less than honest becomes easier to get away with". In this case, she didn't get the snack she wanted. But I don't think I was overreacting, because how can she not remember what she had an hour prior? This is a kid that can tell you what she had to eat six months ago. She didn't want to tell me because she thought she'd get in trouble. I explained she'll get in trouble more if she lies. She wasn't punished harshly, but I think it was a good lesson on ommission. I also explain why I want to know what she had, so that I can make sure she's getting good nutrition. Since I started making her lunch, which she's happy with, I know exactly what I packed, and they are not allowed to throw food away, so I know what she comes home with. But I think she is testing me, because the other day, again, I asked her, how was lunch, did you eat it all "yes", did I pack you enough food "yes". Then we get home and she wants a snack. And I realize she did not eat her breakfast that I left out for her but had eaten the honey I had left out in a little bowl for her to put on her cereal (DD takes her to school in the morning and she told him she had eaten already). And I look in her lunch bag and she still has 1/2 of her sandwich and vegi sticks. Her "punishment" for lying was that she didn't get a treat, she could eat the rest of her lunch for a snack. No wonder she was hungry, she didn't eat lunch. And we talk about what to pack the night before, so I'm not giving her food she won't eat/doesn't like. She has a major issue with food. She is a tiny little thing (38.3 lbs and 39" at age six), but all she wants is junk food, partially because that's all her bio-dad gives her, and we just got her back after a summer there. So I'm a little more strict when I get her back so that I can get her back on the routine of eating veg, protein, whole grains, fruit, etc. But she does eat good too. Yesterday she had two bowls of homemade chicken soup and asked for more. And, wanted it for dinner. But when I gave her bread and butter with it, she decided to only eat the bread and her whole bowl was untouched. I deal with this by usually giving her bread after 1/2 or so of the bowl is gone. My point is I think she is testing me. She wants to know what she can get away with. Last night, after not eating her soup and only eating the bread she wanted bubble gum. She knows the rules, no dinner, no dessert.

Hi, This is my first time visiting this forum, and I am so happy to see so many others in great situations. My long term boyfriend and I are raising his two, teenage daughters, 13 and 17. We have all lived together in our house since July 2005 they were 9 and 12, the same year in Oct., their mother died from cervical cancer. I have always thought of his two daughters as my own, since I have never had bio-children. They are my kids, but they call me by my first name. My BF and his youngest daughter have not ever seen eye to eye, and hit a crescendo her 6th grade year when she FALSELY accused him of child abuse to school authorities. She has sooo many problems... pathological lier seems to rule. She and he have never been close, and her mother let her do ANYTHING she wanted from a very early age, due to behavioral problems. For the last two years, I have been basically the one who cares for her concerning 90% of parenting. The good thing is that she and I get along great. But, it feels like she does it to see what she can get out of me. I purchase all of their clothing, encourage them to try new things, to be their best. My BF has been a hands off dad now, afraid she will accuse him of other, more terrible things. CPS can RUIN your life. He and I are in the position of mandatory reporters and her false accusations have had far reaching ramifications, even if they do not have substantial evidence, you are GUILTY and go on the US list of child abusers and your name does NOT come off. We tried to fight it legally, $10,000 later, she went back to the school officials and said it was not true, which appeared to them, we coherst her to resending her accusation. Anyway....I'm sure the amount of care I am involved with my SDs day to day is evident-we talk about everything from how they feel about losing their Mom, to boys and friend problems. The youngest SD will, on big events in her life conveniently leaves me out. Not that she doesn't want me there, and I am. She blanks me out of being there in her mind. Her dad, her sisters, her Godparents-everyone will be included in her thank you, everyone, but me, because in her mind I wasn't there. I threw her a surprise Hawaiian birthday -pool party-sleep over. Got her the electric guitar she wanted, etc... I did not do this for her to feel in- debited to me. I wanted her to have fun and have something to remember, look back with fond memories. She thanked her 14 year old sister for doing everything. Examples as such fill my last three years with her. My mom tells me she will look back and realize. Her dad spoke to her once about how I seem to be invisible to her and she had no good answer. She just clammed up. I feel like I am being taken advantage of, but on the other hand, I really enjoy seeing their faces light up, no matter who does what. I just would like a thank you and know they appreciate what I do for them. How to approach/deal with these issues?? Help.

Congratulations, Raek. I agree with pretty much everything everyone else has said about the kids being there. If it was me, I'd make a point of saying something directly about it to those folks who I thought most wanted to have their kids there or who would be the most offended by it. Just b/c I and so many of us have learned the hard way that it's the things that go unsaid that can fester the worst. So I wouldn't necessarily count on it getting back to them thru a third party, and I wouldn't worry about being very diplomatic about it either. I'd just say "I'm sure you were wondering why there were kids there after I specifically told folks we couldn't afford to have any kids there. I had absolutely no idea that FIL's friend was going to bring his kids, and I was pretty irritated about it myself. Just wanted to apologize for what I didn't intend to be ---but ended up becoming anyway--- a big discrepancy." I'm sure 99.9% of people would accept this direct acknowledgement of the issue. If you don't directly acknowledge it, probably half the people wouldn't even remember it the next day and half would kinda wonder and a few would simmer. If any of the people who didn't get to bring their kids were people you are ESPECIALLY close to, like really close family or best friends (and especially if you're also close to those kids), I might make an effort in the future to include the kids in some fun group get-together that otherwise might not have occured to me to include them in. But I'd only make this xtra effort if you think the parents or the kids themselves took it really personally.