how to deal with Step-Son
marmie22
16 years ago
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16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoimamommy
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Lying Step-Son
Comments (2)As for the cell phone my company has family plans. I can actually go onto the internet and set their usage details. I can block them from downloading things onto their phones. I can block them from calls during certain hour blocks of the day. I can block certain numbers from their phones for incoming or outgoing calls. I can set "always allowed" numbers that they can call 24/7 no matter if the phone has a block during part of the day. So for our kids phones me and my dh have set our #'s as always allowed. And then we block the kids phones from receiving/making calls and texts during school hours and after 9pm. As for his lying, that is a whole other issue. He could be embarrassed. He could not be trying. He could not be getting the help he needs in school. Has he ever been tested for learning issues? I agree with the last poster though and let his mom and dad deal with his lying. You need to stay neutral so you can have a good relationship with your ss. With him living so far away you really should not be involved in any type of disciplining him. Not a good spot for you....See MoreWhat do you do when you can't bare to be around your Step Son
Comments (9)@ justmetoo----His now 21 year old son assaulted me, not the one that lives with us now. His mother does feed him stories and has for years let them in on the finances and done everything in her power to cause trouble and discontent. To be honest, in my opinion, this all went off the rails with this particular child when WE bought him a car. After my husband and I did this he kept the ca for about 2 months and decided that he didn't want it anymore. I had a truck that we were not using so SS came to me and said he wanted to buy it because, a. he wanted a truck, b. it would teach him what it was like to have financial responsibility. I should have seen through that right there, because I don't know many kids that would say that. I was honestly against it because I saw nothing but trouble, but after all the hounding I got from my husband and SS, I gave in just to shut them up. I stipulated that there would be rules, the vehicle would not be his until he paid it in full, it could not be driven out of the local area further than 50 miles, and since it was in my name and under my insurance he was not to haul all his friends around and he had to let us know where he was going. Keep in mind at the time he was 16, so I don't think I was being to unreasonable. That was fine for about 2 months and suddenly he stopped paying (payments were $50/month), breaking curfew, rude, sassy, etc. He wants to put the vehicle under his mothers insurance, because she doesn't have to know where he goes. Then he decides he doesn't want this vehicle and he wants to sell it and buy something else. Now I have no way of knowing what my husband and his son discussed or concocted, and they are famous for making little deals and leaving me out of the loop. (That's another issue) So, I agreed to allow him to sell it with the stipulation that he only keep what was leftover from what he owed us because I just wanted to be rid of the situation.. Well you would have thought I was asking for his first born, because suddenly he doesn't understand why he has to pay for something that had been given to me in the first place and why did I not just give him the vehicle. So he sells it and when my husband does not turn over the full amount to him, he says, "Mom told me you would not give me what you owed me!" HAHA BINGO! So I told my husband, BM is obviously planting seeds in his head, which you can't reason with this woman she is a nut job, we have tried. He gets a new car with his mother and adds it to his insurance and in even more attitude, he came over one night to fight with my husband about this entire transaction. Do I know if my husband has lied to him? No, I do not, however that is no excuse to talk to your father that way. In my opinion, bottom line SS is mad because he did not get what he wanted from us. This is the same child that asked his Dad to change the custody agreement so that he could stay with us more because he did not like living at his mothers house because everyone fights there all the time, per him. My husband even gave him $400 to register his new car that he got with his BM with the understanding that he would pay it back because he is working. This was 6 months ago and the boy has yet to make any attempt to give us anything, in fact he told his Dad in the past few weeks, "I don't have any F*&^ing money, so why would I give you any? I'm not paying you back." NICE! My husband left his son OVER $300 for lunch, food, etc whilst he has been away, gives him money to eat when the SS is at work, school, to go out with his friends....but the boy has a job, he is already in college. I feel that we have done so much for him and all he does in expect more and disrespect more. He will walk right past me in my home and look right through me and not say a word. I feel that I have done more for him in the 5 years I have been married than his own mother does for him. Its just a mess and it makes me very sad because it was NOT always like this. We used to do things as a family, have dinner together, go on trips and now I can't stand the sight of him....See MoreHelp with my step son
Comments (6)I am living the same life, and have been for 6 1/2 years. My stepson is now 15. Believe me, it gets worse as they get older. The shouting is louder and the hygiene problems become unbearable. He has lost his little kid affection for adults, and now he's sullen and rude all the time. Our home is an unhappy place to be, and forget about entertaining friends. I worry everyday that I've created an awful life for my daughter. We've struggled to find a doctor that can help. The pediatrician talks about "counselling" but everytime we bring him to a counsellor, he refuses to talk. We've had an assessment that talked about "indications of ADHD", and then some suggestions for "more structure". Structure helped reduce some of the meltdowns, but it didn't turn a miserable kid into anyone you'd want to live with. We've just taken him to a highly recommended psychologist in a large city for a more in-depth assessment. Hopefully, we get some good advice there. One thing that I can tell you is that I was where you are now four years ago, but without babies. There is a big part of me that's starting to question whether I should have left then, or should leave now. I've devoted a significant portion of my life, and a fortune, to caring for a kid who's a hostile misery. My relationship with my husband has deteriorated and we spend most of our time snapping at each other. It's no fun. I agree with the lady who recommended a special school, especially a residential one. You need to protect your health and raise your babies in a healthy environment. You also need to ensure that you have some enjoyment in life, or you'll end up like me - considering other options....See MoreAdult Step Son controls with anger
Comments (7)I have been struggling, - in the dark at first, but now I have seen the light - with my step son since he was 9 years old. He lost his mother to breast cancer when he was a baby and then I came into his life when he was a preschooler. He was a darling boy who loved his father's attention and knew how to get it. As he became older, he was spoiled by his father and treated fairly by myself, just as I did his brother 9 years older and my own two daughters. He is now 26 years old and I am still struggling. His father is still spoiling him - giving him money even though he has not worked full time since his 6 years in college. He is a full blown narcissist. He bullies everyone including his father. I just can't be around it, so I travel alot to see friends, and family. When I return home there is always something. This last time I figured out his Passive Agressiveness. He always entertains at our home when we are gone, even though he doesn't live here. This time it was taking the couch pillows from the living room - three pillows that match the sofa and the chair. I didn't notice at first, but the next day I checked myself first, "Self, did you take those pillows to the basement for laundering? No they are not down there." I find it very very difficult to stay quiet about the small things he does. In the past, I have confronted him, but then he makes up falsehoods to his father about me - his dramas - to cause trouble and make me look bad. Most of the time, his father and I can't even speak for about a week - the freezer. Well, I am out of the freezer because I haven't spoken a word about this episode. Hope I can keep my mouth shut. The sad part of this is I just don't live at home very much. I will not knowingly choose to be anywhere around this boy - Golden Boy - narcissist. I go to therapy but the therapist wants me to come to see her with Golden Boy. I just haven't been able to get myself to do that. His loft apartment is full of things he has lifted from my home and expensive toys he should not be able to afford. I won't go there anymore. I get angry when I see the things he has taken from me. His father doesn't care. If anyone has any solutions I would love to hear them....See Morehlmhr
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