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mudhoney

Am I wrong to be so resentful?

mudhoney
8 years ago

My husband gave my stepson, who just turned 17, quite a bit of money to buy gifts. He bought gifts--for his mother, his father and two friends. Nothing for me, not even my name on the gift to his father (as he has done before). The irony is that I spent quite a bit of time, effort and money on a gift for him this year (unlike previous years when his father knew exactly what to get him and took care of it). I'm having a really hard time getting over this.

I work very hard, at a demanding job, but I don't even want to come home at night because of this demanding brat. He pretends I don't even exist, won't even return a "hi", won't make room in the hallway for me. Everything I do, from talking to my husband or cat, to cleaning house, puts him in a hissy fit. We have full-time custody, but his mother doesn't give us any of the child support that is due, and we are lucky to get one weekend to ourselves a month. The tension in the house is becoming unrelenting.

I just feel like I am ready to blow up. His father is ill and I don't feel like this is a good time to talk with him--he doesn't seem to have a clue that this bothers me. Is it unreasonable for me to feel this way over a stupid gift? How can I learn to detach more so that this petty stuff doesn't eat at me? I just feel like our relationship will never be salvageable after this. For 10 years I tried so hard to be his friend, make small talk, say things to boost him up, and now he treats me like dog meat. I stuffed my frustrations and opinions for all that time, just so his Dad could raise him to hate me. I'm just holding my breath until he is old enough to move on, but I'm afraid he is nowhere near mature enough to do so.

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