Many "financial planners" were, in the past, required to have a simple training course that was taken by people who were planning to sell mutual funds. Pretty rudimentary. In those days, people who had taken the course that stockbrokers take were much more knowledgeable, and many people calling themselves "financial planners" later took a six-component course leading to be a Chartered Financial Planner (later changed, and now the designation is "Certified Financial Planner"). In recent years regulations have been tightened a good deal. However, with the amount of money to which you refer, it's important to have an accountant advise, as they have thorough knowledge of the laws, and in cases such as yours, making any mis-steps can be costly. And accountants are required to keep up-to-date as new rules come out. As you know, the tax rules change frequently. Many accountants are quite conservative, and may suggest investing systems that persons willing to deal with some level of risk would find more safe that they could handle. In our area, if one invests in assets where the amount of the principal can't grow, one loses. All of the return that such principal develops is developed currently. The tax man wants to talk to each of us annually relative to our current income - and in Canada, some types of investment income is taxed at a much lower rate than others (mainly the kind that most folks use). If one earns about 4.5%, and is taxed at 33%, that takes the amount of after-tax money left in hand at 3%. And if the size of your principal can't grow - you need to add some current earnings to it annually in order to keep your purchasing power intact. If you'd given the bank $10,000.00 15 years ago in a 5-year guaranteed certificate, and renewed it twice ... ... when you invested it, the $10,000. would have bought a decent car. Not now, 15 years later. The government quotes figures for inflation, i.e. growth in consumer price index ... ... but most of us don't believe them, as our experience is that prices that we pay are rising faster then the recent 2 - 2.5% that they tell about. Here in Canada, for example, people have been telling us lately that the index doesn't include energy cost!!! Check out your various courses available carefully with a fully qualified person - in your Mom's state and yours. Not in the state of confusion, though, we hope. Moreover, if interest rates rise, as many expect them to do, especially in the U.S., carrying their huge government plus individual debt, plus government going deeper into debt each year (under a conservative regime, no less!) another problem arises for bond holders. If they hold them to maturity, they'll receive the full face amount, but if they want to sell them prior to maturity, the price offered by a potential purchaser will be much lower, for s/he can buy a current issue paying much higher rate of interest. My bias is in favour of high quality stocks for the major part of one's portfolio, even for an old fart like me, past 756 - drat this keyboard ... that figure was supposed to be 75: I ain't in the running against Methuselah! For reasons that I won't go into here, but will tell you if you email me. Good wishes for your Mom's choosing to deal with her assets in a way that won't back-fire later on either her or you her offspring. ole joyful

Hi, This is my first time visiting this forum, and I am so happy to see so many others in great situations. My long term boyfriend and I are raising his two, teenage daughters, 13 and 17. We have all lived together in our house since July 2005 they were 9 and 12, the same year in Oct., their mother died from cervical cancer. I have always thought of his two daughters as my own, since I have never had bio-children. They are my kids, but they call me by my first name. My BF and his youngest daughter have not ever seen eye to eye, and hit a crescendo her 6th grade year when she FALSELY accused him of child abuse to school authorities. She has sooo many problems... pathological lier seems to rule. She and he have never been close, and her mother let her do ANYTHING she wanted from a very early age, due to behavioral problems. For the last two years, I have been basically the one who cares for her concerning 90% of parenting. The good thing is that she and I get along great. But, it feels like she does it to see what she can get out of me. I purchase all of their clothing, encourage them to try new things, to be their best. My BF has been a hands off dad now, afraid she will accuse him of other, more terrible things. CPS can RUIN your life. He and I are in the position of mandatory reporters and her false accusations have had far reaching ramifications, even if they do not have substantial evidence, you are GUILTY and go on the US list of child abusers and your name does NOT come off. We tried to fight it legally, $10,000 later, she went back to the school officials and said it was not true, which appeared to them, we coherst her to resending her accusation. Anyway....I'm sure the amount of care I am involved with my SDs day to day is evident-we talk about everything from how they feel about losing their Mom, to boys and friend problems. The youngest SD will, on big events in her life conveniently leaves me out. Not that she doesn't want me there, and I am. She blanks me out of being there in her mind. Her dad, her sisters, her Godparents-everyone will be included in her thank you, everyone, but me, because in her mind I wasn't there. I threw her a surprise Hawaiian birthday -pool party-sleep over. Got her the electric guitar she wanted, etc... I did not do this for her to feel in- debited to me. I wanted her to have fun and have something to remember, look back with fond memories. She thanked her 14 year old sister for doing everything. Examples as such fill my last three years with her. My mom tells me she will look back and realize. Her dad spoke to her once about how I seem to be invisible to her and she had no good answer. She just clammed up. I feel like I am being taken advantage of, but on the other hand, I really enjoy seeing their faces light up, no matter who does what. I just would like a thank you and know they appreciate what I do for them. How to approach/deal with these issues?? Help.

BY your own words, the requirement that only one parent has the right to sign permission forms is not in the custody order. What you are attempting to have enforced is your interpretation of what the custody order should say. If it doesnt say that specifically, then legally, the school can accept a permission form signed by either parent, since you have joint legal custody. This, of course, is why you seem like the angry controlling person who feels her toes are stepped on. Its not a big deal when I read about it, and I doubt that it is a big deal to the school. THe only way it becomes a problem for them is when you, the stepmom, call up complaining about something that is perfectly legal for them to do. If I were the teacher, I would think you are a whining troublemaker, particularly since the real mom is a volunteer at the school and very involved in the childs life. In short, what I am trying to say is that I think your attitude makes the animosity between your husband and his ex worse, not better. I think you egg it on to an extent. ANd, for the sake of a six year old girl, and for the sake of your own marriage, you are going to need to get a grip on it. Being a step mom is like raising teens. DOnt sweat the small stuff. This definitely is in the small stuff category. WImom and cawfee, dont you just WISH your stepchildrens real moms were half as involved as this real mom is? There isnt anything to complain about here. Both parents are trying to stay active in the childs life. Stepmom in this case shouldnt be stirring up angry sentiments. Oh, I just came back from teacher interviews this evening with my birth sons teachers. I was there, AND his stepfather was there. His real father did a phone interview earlier today. My sons real father has no problem with my husband going to school interviews, since my son lives with us full time, and visits with his real dad. BUT if my ex had a problem, I would have gone myself and discussed what the teacher said at home later with my husband. Also, for what its worth, my husband always checks that its not an issue before he gets involved, as I check before I get involved in areas such as schooling with his children. Its not easy, but someone has to take the high road. If you dont react to little things, if you put the kid first instead of your pride, you find that it becomes much easier in time, and the children do much better. I cant imagine the six year old in this situation, confused about who gets a form and why anyone would be angry about it. Its ALWAYS easier to be angry and blame the other person, than to be placid and accomodating with people you dont like. IN the long run, its worth it .

"Now I am so proud of my DH for unconditionally loving my little girl as his own and I think I will get over whatever it was I was concerned about." Amen!! It sounds like their relationship is fine. My DD gets the same "sad" face on when DH asks her to do something or comes down on her. I have the luxury of knowing what she does with her bio-dad too though. With SF she gets sad look, with bio-dad she pouts. And throws a mini-tantrum. And for me? I get a heavy sigh. When she was younger (like 4) she once threw a crying fit with Grandma because she didn't want to get in her carseat and buckle up. I had never had that issue with her. She was testing Grandma. And Grandma asked me what I would have done, and I told her, depending on how tight time was I would either sit there until she got bored and wanted to go, or I would strap her little screaming writhing body in the seat and go. Kids are smart. They are going to try to work the angles and see what works for them. They test the boundaries. It sounds like you're a little defensive of your daughter (and I KNOW that feeling) and concerned about the difference in parenting between the kids with your DH/SO. I have been too. But I really do think, based on parenting with a bio- and now co-parenting with DD's bio and SD's bio parents.... These are issues everyone faces. Regardless of blood ties. Differences in parenting strategies. Disagreements in how kids should be raised. Conflict between the adults about the children's behavior and what to do about it. I get the "manipulation" too. I've said before that kids are manipulative. And it's not inherently bad, it's just them trying to figure out what works. I think the problem is that she's going about asking in a way that he doesn't like. Have you talked to him? Maybe ask if there's a time where you guys can have a family tv time, pop some popcorn and watch a family friendly show. That way she gets her "hanging out" time and he knows to expect it. I suspect he's not liking the manipulation. My DH hates that too, and I do the same thing "she just wants to be close to us....". But in my case I think he's right. Once I got past my "if she were your daughter...." thoughts I realized there is a more effective way for her to get what she wants, and we're working on teaching her a more honest way of going about things. Like, "mom, I miss you. Can we spend some time together" rather than "working" us and then dropping the "I want..(whiny bomb).