Good for you Momof3! --
Sometimes the good guys do win.

lol, maybe he should have robbed a bank, paid you all the back support he owes & then he'd be in jail for bank robbery & they'd probably reduce his support to $0. (gotta love those liberal laws that give deadbeats a break for doing the wrong thing) But, I'm glad the DA and court didn't allow him to get out of it... because you are exactly right, he is there for non payment so why give him a pass now? That would be redundant & if deadbeats caught wind of that, the court would become flooded with motions to reduce support every time one is put in jail for non support.

BM tried to get her support reduced a few months ago when she hadn't paid in a year. The court didn't raise it, but they did tell her it would go up based on the information SHE was providing. She thought because she went & had another baby, didn't want to work, had to move to a smaller house & had to sell her truck...she thought she could get it dropped to a lower amount. Nope, she was told to use her spousal support to pay it or she'll be in jail. She is now paying $158 twice a month.

Rather comical that this guy thinks his GF should supplement his daily life in jail by appr. $25 a week, but his children should just, pfff, go without and be put on hold.

He could scoot across stateline when he gets out and apply for a minium wage over here. We're currently a $1 an hour over what Indiana is paying. Add on a pt second job for say another 25 hrs a week and he'd have almost a 'free' weeks worth of wage of his current job additonally to hand out to his kiddies. Nope, not an ounce of sympathy to a guy with four kids going through life slacking off on one minium wage job. I'm a bit amazed he thought that little sob story was going to get him off his duty of supporting his offspring.

Not that it matters in your personal case, but I'm curious if the other mothers of his children also pursue the CS rights for their children? I'd think the judges by now would all know him well when he walks through the door and the guy would spare the judge the same old story of "I have four kids, and work minium wage blah blah".

Anyway, glad it went well for you and that you were able to handle the ordeal calmly and fairly stressfree. Good for you!

"They said this costs the state about $53 per day. Plus sperm donor has no expenses because of it. So, the prosecutor believed that should be imputed as income."
Yeah, my jaw dropped on that too!

"The prosecutor stated that he agreed with me in that someone who is put in jail for non support of a child should not be given a break and allowed not to pay for that chiild because he was put there."

LOVE this prosecutor!! I think he did a great job making your case.
Congrats!

I'm sorry but I haven't followed this saga 100%....but I have one question and I am not taking the "guy" side for the sake of being a guy...this dude sounds like a piece of work and deserves everything thrown at him...but....

How can a person pay weekly child support if he is in jail? I'm just curious how this is supposed to work...certainly does not sound like this guy has assets that can be drawn against. Where is the money supposed to come from?

Again, not trying to be smart or sarcastic...just want to know the logic behind this....when I read this I kept thinking "you can't get blood from a stone".

The only thing I can think of is that the money he owes would be accumulated during the time he's in jail and just slapped onto the amount he is already behind...in which case, it's probably a meaningless judgement since if he's in jail for non payment, the odds on him ever paying 100% of what he owes is slim to none I think.

"How can a person pay weekly child support if he is in jail? I'm just curious how this is supposed to work...certainly does not sound like this guy has assets that can be drawn against. Where is the money supposed to come from?"

You know, my SD's mother didn't pay for over a year. Her mother told my DH that you can't get blood from a turnip. (was she calling her own daughter a turnip? lol) because BM did not want to get a job & pay her obligation. If a parent is in jail for refusing to pay their obligation, then the amount owing will accumulate into what is called arrears. If the arrears are not paid, interest is added & it will remain owing to the parent, even when the children are grown & have their own families. When someone owes on a note (say a car note) and they go to jail... the car may sit in the garage, not being driven while they are in jail but the payment still becomes due. The creditor does not halt payments until they get out of jail. The creditor does not care if it's being driven or not. Now, with a car, the creditor will eventually come take the car back and sell it to get some of their money back and then charge the difference... and it will remain owing until it is paid or I guess until it's resolved in a bankruptcy. When a child is entitled to be supported by BOTH parents, I don't think one should get out of paying something when they are in jail because they did something wrong... kids should not suffer because parents don't want to work or want to commit crimes. I could see reducing it when they have legitimate health problems and can't work or are disabled... but then kids are usually entitled to disability benefits.

My son is 24 and I have one of those meaningless judgment but it will never go away & if he ever files taxes, I get his refund. If he dies & has insurance or property, I will be first in line. Of course, I may never collect so I don't count on it... but it's owed and I am glad I didn't walk away and let him off the hook with no consequence.

Thanks everyone!!

This deadbeat actually has 5 kids by 4 moms. He just doesn't have a support order for #5 because she supposedly lives with him.... but that's only when they're together. The other two moms do have court ordered support. He has been to court numerous times for them as well. I just have the oldest so my case will be priority.... except when it comes to him owing the state money due to those other 4 being on welfare. The state gets his taxes first until that's all paid back.

JMT... unfortunately he lives down by the Kentucky/Ohio/Indiana line... darn hillbilly redneck jacked up pos!! Haha! He ALWAYS has a sob story. He's either sick or he got laid off or one of his kids had surgery. Always always always something. Our kid had surgery a couple times and I let him know how he was doing.... he just changed the subject. I hate him!

Kroopy..... this man has repeatedly been slapped on the wrist and told come back on another day... you have till then to get a job and pay. He finally was charged with felony nonsupport. He was sentenced to 3 years all suspended and put on probation. He was given the opportunity to pay again and again. He failed to pay again. He also now has a felony and was caught with a fire arm. Probation violation #2... number one was failure to pay. Probation violation #3 was a drug screen failure. So he was sentenced to serve 18 months, 9 months suspended. Apparently he has another probation violation and hasn't been sentenced yet. Possibly another 18 month sentence. Here's the thing...... he has repeatedly not paid on his FIRST child, nor his SECOND or THIRD or FOURTH child. He just continues to make babies. If he's not going to pay anyway, why not put him somewhere where they can watch him NOT spend his money on drugs or create more welfare babies? (Just fyi.... my son has NEVER been on welfare) I know he can't pay behind bars but I do like that it adds on to what he does owe and he'll NEVER get out of paying that unless he dies. It's not discharged in bankruptsy, it's on his credit report, if he wins the lottery or inherits money or gets taxes back.... or anything.... I'll get it. And to be honest, I don't care if he dies. I'll then get social security.... it pays better. I know I sound like a heartless biotch but I've been dealing with this moron for 12 years. He got me pregnant then decided to get the mom of kid #2 pregnant... they are 3 months apart. I left him because I DO NOT put up with that. He and his family have disowned my son and put me through hell.

Thank you Ima for explaining it!!! You have it exactly right! Maybe your bm is related to this dead beat and my ss bm.... LOL!!! Obviously he thinks if he continues to populate the world with his welfare babies all his problems will just go away. HA!

Amber.... yes I LOVE this prosecutor as well!!! There are three that I've dealt with and 2 of them hit him hard... the other one is mean to us both... I don't like him. LOL! This one was AWESOME! AND... my caseworker that I've complained about was great as well! I called her and thanked her.

Momof 3- Sounds like you have been through a lot with this guy - no wonder you call him sperm donor!

In my state they have a work release program. This guy at my gym is a fireman and he told me his co-worker was jailed for non-payment of child support. They would allow him to go to work, but when he got off work he had to go back to jail.

momof3 - I understand what you've been thru, and feel sorry for you. I've always wondered, and this is not directed at you since you were the first person to have a kid with this d*uchebag...but...all the others...I've always wondered how women can even think about "giving it up" to a guy that has kids with several other women...unless they know he is there for the kids and is being a father to them. In my opinion, they are as stupid and irresponsible as him and almost deserve what they are dealing with.

BUT......I must bring this up....you said...."He got me pregnant"...uhmm....unless he raped you (and if he did let me apologize in advance)...you had just as much to do with this as he did. I only bring this up because my experience in these forums is that whenever a guy says "...and she got pregnant", the guy gets destroyed for saying it from all the ladies present.

Just want a level playing field discussing this stuff, that's all........

Always can count on mkroopy lol I agree on the statement....

Good for you momof3! Congrats! Finally some good news!!!

I think Mkroopy, you misunderstand quite what she might by the way Mom3 worded her statement.

Of course she was a willing partner in the creating of the child. What she was saying was 'he got her pregnant and then the *ss turned around and cheated also getting another woman pregnant'. While she was a willing and active partner in the creation of her child, she never had a clue the dirtbag was dipping it elsewhere...she was not meaning it to be taken as she played no role in the creation of her child. And at the time, the guy had no children with any other women...but suddenly he had two women pregnant at the same time.

When Mom3 first introduced herself here she gave her backstory and at no time did she fail to take responsibility for her own role in having her children.

What she meant was yes, she too is responsible but in no way was she expecting the jerk to have been reproducing another child with another women at the same time. She was not blaming the guy for 'getting her pregnant'. She blaming him for being irresponsible aka two women pg at same time. Mom3 has worked long and hard to support each and every child she has ever created and has never ran or slacked off on her duty as a mother.

What I meant by that statement, Kroopy, was that yes, I had something to do with it.... on my part it was accidental. He admitted to me he did it on purpose. His intent was to get me pregnant. I realize that I didn't take the necessary precautions to avoid it but he intended to make this happen. Though after mom #2 got pregnant (knowing he had a gf that was pregnant) he wanted nothing to do with us and wanted me to have an abortion or give my son up to his sister for adoption. (I'll make it clear..... he only didn't want anything to do with us because I found out about other girl/baby and flew off the handle.... not believing his lines.... he did BEG me to stay with him... only when I refused did he decide he wanted nothing to do with my son)

Yes, mom #2 was an idiot for getting pregnant by a guy who she knew had another coming... BUT and I have heard this from 2 or 3 other girlfriends of his.... he has made up a story that I was pregnant before he met me and my son is not his. To this day he denies he is his. So lets make this clear here..... I met him in March. I saw him every other weekend (I only went to his home in southern Indiana at those times because I didn't have ds16 at those times and refused to associate them together yet)...(I am originally from the Ft Wayne area.... don't live there now though) My son was born on Feb 20, due date was Feb 25. I work for ob/gyn drs. They have a wheel that determines all the dates for a pregnancy. If you put my son's birthday on there it gives you the date of conception to be May 31. If you ask this sperm donor where I was on Memorial Day weekend 1999 he will tell you I was with him at his sisters party that whole weekend. Hmmmmm, yeah, cause that was way before I met him and I was probably with multiple men at his sisters party without him possibly knowing about it.... one of these so called men that he's accused me of is his brother....(This is all sarcasm) because my son has the same blue eyes as his brother... sperm donor has green.... I HAVE BLUE! Every online calculator also puts these dates together. Also, he's accused me of being with a friend of mine... all Italian man, dark hair, thin build... I'm thin. My son is stalky, built like a short man (sperm donor is 5'6), exactly the same as sperm donor. He also looks EXACTLY like him, minus the eye color. He walks like him, he acts like him (not the horribly negative ways), he likes some of the same things.... and he's NEVER been influenced by him what so ever. I had gone 6 years or so not seeing sperm donor and when I saw him in court for the first time after that period it took my breath away because I couldn't believe how much alike they looked. I always told people he looked like me. WAY wrong on that. (I still tell son he does) IF my friend would've been his father, I'd at this point have been ecstatic. He's a good man, makes a good living, and would've been there. Unfortunately I don't just call any man up and accuse them of being the father to my son...(Justin Bieber, anyone? LOL) He asked for a dna test. I showed up and had my son swabbed. Sperm donor was given three different dates to be there. He didn't show up to any of them. They defaulted him. I didn't have anything to hide. I was there. Still 12 years later I'm hearing the same BS, all the while knowing who the kid resembles. He even looks more like sperm donor's sister then he does any of my other kids or my family. I've sent them pictures and on good days they admit the dumb @ss can't deny him. Then they get pi$$ed at me and deny him again. I'm just so glad my son hasn't been exposed to any of this because I've kept him from it. He knows nothing of the ordeal. He is a loved little boy by me and my dh.

Mom #2 was especially dumb because she had a second kid with him. I don't get it, she must've been delirious. Mom #3 was just plain stupid but I believe she has 4 by 4 different men and none of them help with her kids. So apparently she just always makes dumb moves like that. Mom #4 is a SERIOUS IDIOT!!!!!! She is the "fiance"... wtf ever.... Every one of us plus a dozen more have been his "fiance". He uses the term like the word "the".... He's never actually been married though.... he's 30. They cheat on each other more then anyone could even think to cheat. I think they each see someone they want and they just go do it. Then they fight and make up. They've both had STD's because of it. He's disgusting. I wouldn't go near him with a 50 foot pole at this point. YUCK! GROSS! She also sits in the back when I am talking to him on the phone yelling at me and talking for him. I yell back at her to shut the f up, this doesn't concern her. Her daughter looks EXACTLY like my son.... therefore everytime she says my son isn't his.... she should really look at her daughter because apparently she must've been with the same "other" guy I was with.

I agree with you 100% about them being idiots for having these children with him. I think about it all the time. I feel stupid for having a kid with him but at least mine was first. I learned my lesson and NO I wouldn't have been with him had he had that many children period, whether taking care of them or not. I don't want to be with someone with that many kids to take care of. I married dh who only had one. That's a blessing. I LOVE my ss with all my heart. I just know I am not a patient enough person to deal with that many kids.

Amber, I have asked every other time we've been to court to issue work release to him. Because of the fact he's not from that area he doesn't have a job before hand to go to there. They never grant it. I've even begged. The old judge was OLD and NASTY but this new one was very young. Maybe I should've brought it up again. I didn't want to talk as much though because dh asked me to only say what was necessary.

Thank you so much JMT, you said it perfect. Obviously in much shorter format then I did. LOL!!! That is EXACTLY what I meant.

Also, thank you for standing up for me and realizing everything I do for my children. It means a lot!

Kroopy, I felt like I was in a serious relationship with sperm donor. He asked me to move down there with him. I told him I needed to finish college first. I was scheduled to graduate in October that year. (I did finish) While I was at school is when he cheated. I was absolutely devastated. Being alone and pregnant with your second child is the worse feeling I've ever felt. I cried endless nights. It made me feel like I didn't want "his" baby what so ever. I felt dirty and I felt like I was NEVER going to find someone who would want a 21 year old with two kids by different dads. It hurt more then any other hurt I've ever felt. Thank God when I met my son I loved him from that beginning. He's such a cute, sweet mama's boy. :) I am very very protective of him and this makes me HATE sperm donor even more.

Thank God I met my husband when my son was only 11 months old, my ss was 4 months old. We hit it off amazingly and I haven't regretted him since. I did start off somewhat cautious because his son was so young and he didn't have anything to do with bm while pregnant. That made me nervous but it's a totally different situation. Dh and Bm were never in the relationship I was in. It upsets me that dh was wonderful to her and accepted his son without a dna test. (Maybe not his smartest move but he loves him) I've had to prove myself over and over and over again and I didn't have a one night stand. How do "good" people get the crappy end of the deal and crappy people like bm get the good end? UGH.... I just hate bm for not realizing how good she has it with dh. Oh well.

mom3 - I wasn't implying that you really meant anything by wording it that way....it's just that I've seen guys read the riot act when they say something like "...and then she got pregnant", that's all.

Sorry to hear you've been through so much with this guy...hard to believe in these days of DNA testing anyone can really think they can deny paternity and get away with it. It's even more puzzling that his relatives believe him, knowing that he avoided the test. Unreal.

I just got an email back from his probation officer. I asked her what his other probation violation was for. He was charged in the county he lives in with Burglary/Theft and Receiving Stolen Property. When I read that my jaw dropped. He never ceases to amaze me! OMG!

My dh was worried that he'd show up at my doorstep after getting out of jail because of having time to think about it. Well, the probation officer told me she is recommending his entire sentence be revoked meaning he'll serve another 9 months after this 9 is finished. Then he will be sentenced by the other county and that will be served AFTER this sentence. She says he'll be in for quite a while. WOW!!! Just WOW!!!

I'm so so so so thankful that I have my dh and he's such a wonderful father to my son. I've always been nervous that my son would turn out just like sperm donor. I so hope with my dh's influence my son will turn into a great human being. I never want him to meet this man. I don't even think I ever want him knowing truely what kind of man he is.

Thanks kroopy!!! His family is just white trash hillbilly scumbags... I've kinda come to accept it.

LOVE IT! And why can't he work more than one job to support his children? Lots of other responsible parents do it every day.

~Cat