I need some advice � or maybe a reality check. You ladies (and guys!) seem to be great at giving both.

I�m in a 1.5 year relationship with my boyfriend. We began living together about 10 months ago. He has 4 children from his previous marriage � ages 14, 13, 10 and 8 � All boys except the 10 year old. They live with us full time. I have a 2 year old son from a previous relationship. The 14 year old and 8 year old are great � I care about them and have no issues with them (or very, very rarely � which to me is pretty great for "stepish" kids!) It�s an entirely different story with the 13 year old and the 10 year old. I haven�t bonded with either of them and honestly don�t think I ever will. The 13 year old has autism. He�s disrespectful, combative, mouthy � he hits (his siblings and my toddler) and everything has to be his way all the time. Granted, he has autism, so some of this is to be expected. Maybe I didn�t realize how difficult his behaviors would be before we moved in together, but I am also pretty tired of them. He doesn�t do that kind of thing in school or when his father is around � he knows better. But the minute dad turns his back or I�m alone with them he�s trying to push the 14 year old down the stairs, refuses to do his (meager) chores, hitting little neighborhood children or kids in our house�Seriously, I�m over it (and so are neighborhood parents�two families already refuse to let him come over). He wears me out. The 10 year old (and only girl) is an emotional trainwreck. She is horribly attention seeking and constantly makes up illnesses/injuries for attention (once she told me something was wrong because she kept trying to yawn but nothing comes out!). Dad tries to keep all this in check, but he�s extremely lenient with these two � he very clearly shows favoritism toward them over his other two kids (the 14 year old can do nothing right, the 13 year old and the girl can do nothing wrong. The 8 year old is lost in the shuffle which is sad because he�s practically perfect.) And then there�s my son � the 2 year old � who I had when I had basically given up on ever having a child � (Miscarriages and ectopics before him). Of course I love him tremendously, and since he�s 2 he requires a great deal of attention.
Here�s my dilemma. The children�s mother is barely involved. She�s an addict who sees the kids maybe once a month for 2-3 hours. She pays no support and dad won�t force the issue. So we have them All. The. Time. �and honestly, I�m worn out. He won�t ask BM for money but has no problem expecting me to take the kids shopping for school clothes, etc. He frequently makes statements like they�re OUR kids � and ok, I feel somewhat motherly toward two of them, but certainly not the other two. And they aren�t "ours" - we aren�t married and I�m beat. I feel like I can�t pay attention to my BS because Attention-Seeker has to get in the mix immediately or interrupt when I�m trying to talk to/play with him. He�s learned to hit from the 13 year old. To add to the mix: I�m 15 weeks pregnant! It�s awesome but I find myself becoming increasingly annoyed with the tons of demands that these kids make, and honestly a little scared to add another baby to this craziness. And maybe it�s not that the demands are out of the ordinary but OMG THERES SO MANY OF THEM AND ITS ALL THE TIME. I never get a break. Ever. Maybe there isn�t a dilemma � maybe I just need to vent and really think about the situation I�m in before things become �permanent� (though there are no plans at this time � thank goodness). Can I really do this? And more importantly, do I WANT to? I seem to be spending a large amount of time fantasizing about the 13 year old going to live with mom or about me being single again. Ugh. Maybe I�m just a selfish pig. Any (constructive) comments are definitely welcome. Please don�t argue�I don�t have the energy. LOL