I did put a smiley face in the title :)) So, yes, Sandy read my rightly. I was trying to be funny in a frustrated way. What with thrips and cut TV cable, I was a little stressed on Monday googling for something to save my flowers and stiff from shoveling granite gravel. So when I saw the three emails, I naturally took it personally and assumed these nurseries were out to get me. My gut cried out, "How can you tempt me to buy more roses when I can't take care of the ones I have?" I wanted to call "Foul!" Hence, my post. When I reread it, I was afraid someone might miscontrue my intent, so I went back and inserted the :)) in the title. I certainly don't begrudge the nursery people (dear sweet folks that they are) from making a living or even from becoming millionaires. (As to Patricia's reference to politicians, ditto.) I mean, just stop and think what COULD have happened. Someone could have been offering $7 roses that I just HAD to have - in quantity. What would I have done then but succumb to the temptation? So, of course, I was irritated with them. They need to lay off me. I do love them, these charming rose nursery people, just not so much right now. But I heartily encourage everyone else to buy, buy, buy...and post photos. Sherry

And the good die young.....My mom was a saint and died of lung cancer very young. My dad is a #@&*$# and is full of cancer & has been for 9-10 years and keeps on getting remissions. I think his days are numbered now, his oncologist says if the chemo he's on now doesn't help there is nothing more she can do for him. He's 1/2 through this session and the pet scan last week shows more growth. He still drinks & smokes & chases trashy women & treats his family like dirt. I feel bad that I can't feel sad for him, I know he's very scared now, but he's still being an a--. I provide him with a nice house in Sun City, a car and pay his utilities but he couldn't even be bothered to spend an evening with me, my kids & grandkids when I was in AZ last week. OOPS, I think I got off the subject.......

(((((Pidget))))) I'm sorry it's hard right now. You do a spectacular job of juggling everything all the time and a set-back like this is like a kick in the teeth. Hopefully you'll come of this OK and soon be back on track. Vent all you want, I know how hard you work at keeping everything going smoothly and speedbumps stink. Good luck getting it all taken care of and I hope you love your new job! Oh, nurse? I have a boo-boo finger, what kind of band-aids do you have? I require a fun one!

I wholeheartedly agree with all of the above and I have had a lot of the same issues as you have. My son is also no longer my oldest, has a different last name than the rest of us, is "bounced" between his father and I (my ex and I have him an equal amount of time- am I crazy about it? no, I share the same feelings that you do, that he shouldn't have to be "bounced around" like this, but, he seems to have adjusted very well to it, so, for now, since there are no real issues, I am just letting it ride for now) my hubby and I initially disagreed on the "spanking" issue and now we have a new baby. My stepson calls me by my first name and my son calls my hubby by his first name. We have explained their roles in our family to them very carefully and what is expected out of them as a part of our family (i.e., everyone will be treated with kindness and respect or there are consequences). I don't want my son to call my hubby "Dad" because he has a Dad who loves him very much and takes good care of him. My ex husband and I are responsible for his upbringing, not my hubby. The same goes for my hubby and my stepson. I am not responsible for his upbringing. I play a role in his life, and that is as a caring adult who is concerned about his wellbeing, but I am not the primary decisionmaker in his life and I accept that. I try to save special outings for when all of us are together, which isn't too difficult in our case because we have the boys on the same weekends. The times when I have my son but don't have my stepson are generally weekdays, so we don't really do anything other than dinner and maybe an outing to the park (right across the street) if its nice out. It does sometimes happen that there are holidays when we don't have all three and occasionally there is an event in which one or the other can't go, but, if my son were to rub that in my stepson's face or vice versa, the guilty party would get a lecture on treating his brother with respect. Also, i agree with someone else's suggestion that our kids have to learn that is just the way things work out sometimes- things can't always be exactly equal although we give it our best effort. the spanking issue- tough one. maybe i was wrong in how i handled it, but I made it clear to my new hubby, before we got married almost a year ago, that I would not tolerate violence against any member of our household. my ex-husband and i split up because he decided to take his anger out on me physically one day. once was enough for me, i filed the papers one week later (and only waited that long because my attorney was on vacation). why is it "domestic violence" if a husband strikes his wife out of anger, but not if he strikes a child? i don't see a difference. i believe, one, that a child that is hit only learns to resort to violence to solve problems and two, that there are other ways to correct children (like the ones you mentioned, which are the methods i myself use). i have never laid a finger on my son (he will be five in march) in anger and he is very well behaved and polite. i get complements on his behavior all the time. when he gets out of line (and I agree with someone else's posting that four year olds can be rambunctious, that is just part of being a normal four year old), i first point out that what he is doing that is not acceptable and then tell him what will happen if it continues(time out, loss of privileges, etc). if he does it again, then the promised consequences do happen. it works. Children want approval from adults. By the same token, I try to be generous with positive reinforcement. no offense to your husband, but i don't think your daughter will respect him anymore just because he has "spanking" privileges. you and your ex are the ones to decide the appropriate method of discipling your child, because, like it or not, your daughter already has a father. your husband has to accept that. my hubby had the same issues accepting that at first, but i was very firm with him about the fact that, yes, as a member of our household, my son had to respect him and obey him, but that any consequences of my son not doing so had to come from me as his mother and not him. by the same token, i don't interfere with the way my hubby is raising his own child. luckily, my hubby has agreed not to spank any of the children in our household, out of respect for my feelings on the issue. i really wouldn't know what to do if he didn't and suspect our marriage wouldn't last long if he would not respect my feelings on this issue. as a victim of domestic violence, i feel very strongly (as you can probably tell and i am sorry to use your posting as a soapbox) that the reason we have such a problem with domestic violence in this country is that we teach our sons that hitting people is the way to make them do what you want and we teach our daughters that they should submit to being hit if they step out of line. By now you probably have had your new little one, congratulations! I hope things are going well.