I have lived with 'functional' alcoholics for years. They can walk, talk, act 'normal' while having consumed enough alcohol to knock over a horse. Unless you know them, you can't tell, and until they've gone over their usual limit that is when most people will say "oh, Bob is drunk, don't let him drive". DH and I won't allow these people to drive to our home, and NEVER did we let our family members ride with them. Sounds to me like this woman is that way. 10 shots early in the day? Normal to a person like that. She'd likely pour vodka into her juice, pop, whatever she was drinking. You usually can't smell vodka (like you can say whiskey or gin) especially if it's her drink of choice. Whether or not her family knew, hard to say. They might know that she drinks, but assume it's 'socially' and not be aware that she's downing a 5th a day in her Big Gulps. One of the most difficult things to do is to deal with an alcoholic family member, that doesn't fit the stereotype of an alcoholic. Most people think of the mug shots of drunks when they think of alcoholics, not Aunt Betty who bakes cakes for everyone's birthday. Lots of people see nothing wrong with toking. They don't believe it impairs you. I disagree. But I won't go to the point of telling people what they should or shouldn't think. I do know that people I know will not smoke weed around me, or knowingly do so when they know I'll be around, since I do tell them I can smell it on them. We watched an interview with a woman I believe was the MIL, and attorneys for the family. Man. I'm a lay person, but I'd have fired those bone heads in a minute if I was hoping they'd represent my family.

I have talked to DS and he would like more time during the week at ex's house when ex is off work without me taking away his weekends because he can go to friends house to get away if needed and he might catch some extra time with ex. I will allow for the time being but have made him aware that the minute grades slip that I will once again take matters into my own hands so if he wants to be able to spend extra time with his father on weekdays DS knows that it is HIS responsibility to get his homework done. I have decided that all of this arguing between SM and I is only having a negative effect on DS and my relationship with DS so I will leave things alone for now.It is just not worth it to see DS miserable because SM and I are having issues right now which usually happens every few years as I fight for control and realize that she will make DS life miserable if I try to take it away from her and I back off. This has been the norm but this time I am more frustrated than usual because I am always the one that has to give in while they give nothing and it just gets old after awhile. But I have lived with fighting, divorced parents making life miserable and I will not do that to DS. I have lived with a mother that continuously expected me to hate my father as much as she did. And even though I was not telling DS to hate SM, I was just tired of picking up the pieces she leaves behind and telling him to be less trusting so SM cannot hurt him continuously, I do understand why DS would take the message as such when SM is also on him about me keeping him away from her. Both ex and SM are lucky to have their parents still happily married and while we get along for the most part, neither of them know what it feels like as I do firsthand and realize what their actions are doing. Of course, usually it is always my fault and nothing is ever SM fault. SM sent me an email two days ago explaining that she was never going to forgive me for keep DS away from her while she was separated from ex and that she was sorry for nothing because she has done absolutely nothing to feel sorry for. That is the story of life with SM. So I will continue to be the peacemaker to make life easier on DS because I can and that is what I do best as I did for my mother by not visiting my dad for almost eight years because she hated it so much. I hope that one day he will realize how many times I have just had to bite my tongue and go along with it to make life more peaceful for DS while with SM.

Mojo, I get it, I'm packing now! It seems the more I pack, the messier the old place becomes! Books, after all, are neat and rectangular. I've taken 5 bags to the Library Book Sale donation so far, but have boxed up many times more for the move. Some I've schlepped up already. (It amazes the GC!) I've recycled all the old computer books, and those house design books people gave me when they knew I was building - you know, those useless house plans where frequently there are NO windows on at least one outer wall... I've brought up most of my clothing. With our current heat wave, I wish I'd left more short sleeved things down here! The only kitchen stuff still here (besides food) is the stuff that matches each other, since when the place does go on the market, this would be nice for staging. (We call the other stuff, "mutant-ware", and it is handy for camping... or getting a new residence started...) I did have to buy induction ready cookware, so the old rangetop cookware remains here. I'll be moving most of my current furniture. So most of that is staying here until I sell. I did buy a new IKEA sleeper sofa, as the cost of recovering the old one to fit into the new house would be prohibitive. I am also replacing the LAST of the old "college grad do whatcha can afford" presswood bookcases with finish-them-yourself pine book cases, and I bought a NEW office chair ($70, clearance from $200). I know this means my house won't really tie in together as House Beautiful, but it will be House Comfortable and Affordable. I've lived here since 1991. I do like this place, but hated both the kitchen (dysfunctional) and the driveway (steep, curvy, not winter-friendly). Most of the stress of moving is not from leaving here, though I will carry some good memories, but from just sorting through EVERYTHING! Indeed, I've already decided that a couple ceramic cats I brought up about a month ago will be donated to a fall auction held by a group I belong to. Nice, but... they just don't want to be in the new home. (There are some things I like well enough but don't feel the need to continue to house - I like them well enough to not wish to send them to Goodwill - which may well trash them, but rather find homes where they'll be appreciated.)

This is the perfect thread for MY petty peeve. Last year our only close neighbor installed 'decorative' outdoor up-lighting that illuminates front yard trees and the front and both sides of their house, one of which faces our MBR. The city allows this, with a cut off time of 11 p.m. These lights were on all nigh past dawn for weeks until I mentioned the 'light curfew'. They said they didn't know how to alter the timer but would talk to the installer. Time went by. Daylight Saving Time arrived. Now their lights go off at midnight. How's that for 'kinda-sorta' compliance along with tongue stuck out? IDK why people want to make their homes look like public buildings -- funeral homes come to mind. It's for 'show', not safety, as the rear of the house isn't illuminated. (They probably don't want the light intruding into their private space!)