Hi, that must be heartbreaking to have to move away. I assume you or your dh had no choices.

Nope, we had lots of choices. We could have chosen to stay in the state we were in, living like paupers and barely scraping together enough to feed everyone, or he could have taken a job that pays well enough to support us all. We went where the job was, pure and simple. BM wasn't letting him have the skids for his EOW visitation, we couldn't afford to retain a lawyer to fight for them, so it made sense to take the better-paying job out of state and stop the fighting. Now that we are far away and not a "threat" to BM, she lets us have them without much fighting. It's hard not getting them EOW, but we weren't getting them EOW before we moved, so not much has changed, except for the fighting.

I do think it's a shame, though, that there's so much free support for custodial parents to collect child support, but nothing to help noncustodial parents collect their children for visitation. If we'd gotten some help that way, we may have stayed. But we had nothing to lose and much to gain. No regrets!

So you're not a red-headed, curly-haired, singing orphan... you're a red-headed, straight-haired, slightly bratty orphan?

Welcome!!
We're mostly fairly positive about our stepkids (future stepkids, SO's kids, etc), but like everyone, we sometimes get frustrated and need to voice our complaints.
There are a few people here who have some antiSM sentiments and will not always give constructive advice... But even the grouchies have occasional gems to offer.

I'm glad you're here!

We do have an "introduce yourself" thread somewhere, but I suck at the search engine, so I can't find it for you.

My quick story:
I'm FSM to a 9yo boy who I call A__ on here.
FDH and I are getting married in November.
A__ has monster ADHD so can be quite a handful, but he has a big heart.
FDH was never married to BM, and actually A__ isn't biologically his, but is the only dad A__ has ever had, and decided to continue that back when he and BM broke up.
BM can cause occasional headaches, but is mostly alright.
I'm also an adult SD and get along great with my SM.
I am more likely to need help with helping FDH parent, and ADHD management than with actual stepfamily issues.

Hi Anne, I am fairly new here myself. I read your step lively blog and really agree with your position on negativity, venting and positive change.

You are right, I chose this family, and yes I was perfectly aware it would would not be easy. Five years later I find myself saying "I didn't know it would be this hard!" I have found comfort here that other people have similar issues and just understand the demands of a step family.
So, welcome!

Hello Anne.

I am really new - to all of this.
I got enaged 3 weeks ago to a man that I have been dating for 3 years. He is 34 with a son6 and daughter8. I am 25, never married and no kids.

I have known the kids since they where 3 and 5. I have attended t-ball practices/games, school functions, etc. Still, I am very nervous about being a SM officially.

I do not think that I know what I am in for but who ever really does? I probably need all the advice I can get.

The weird thing is ...

I feel closer to the girl as she and I have had some pretty in depth conversations. She seems to take an interest in knowing about me (likes to look through my yearbooks, try on my old prom gowns, tells me about her dreams for her future and asks about mine, etc). But she is stand offish about being all huggy with me (as I am too)

The boy and I never really talk alot. But out of the blue he will start kissing my hand or holding onto me. I am still trying to get used to this - I can not explain it - I want him to love on me but I feel myself get tense like I am nervous or something.