Expected to act like a stepmom
justme312
10 years ago
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emma
10 years agoRelated Discussions
3-year-old son acting like baby; expecting baby in Sept
Comments (6)That's all good advice. Don't respond to the baby talk, except to say you can't understand it. Ignore the other behavior as long as everyone is safe. Denying him anything baby is only going to make it seem more appealing. Let him see for himself, it's not so good. Also, go through his baby book/pictures. He lives in the moment, the fact that he was a baby himself is maybe a fact he's heard, but doesn't remember or feel. Let him see he DID do all those baby things, and yet how much he has grown, how much he has learned, and can do for himself. My kids were each about 3 when the next one was born. It really is a great spacing. Soon you will see your first born fall in love, give love to his new sibling w/no expectations, unconditional. It will melt your heart! This will pass. Be patient. Remember how your first turned your life around, that is what he feels now. This is a big change in his life, he is figuring it out as best he can. Your whole family will readjust and it will be just fine....See Moretoilet acts like it is clogged but is not???
Comments (16)I think you may have missed the real problem: the jet/hole shooting water toward the back of the toilet to get the siphon started sooner. I cleaned mine out and fixed it nicely. Here's how 0. clean your toilet if you need to, this involves putting your hand in the bowl 1. turn off the water supply to the tank 2. flush, holding down so the tank and water level in bowl get as low as possible 3. if you want, use rubber gloves, take a screwdriver (medium shaft length, as short a handle as possible) and poke it into the little hole (towards the front of the toilet), scraping off as much of the scale as you can. Voila. While you're at it, you may want to see if any scale has built up on the underside of the rim as well, and of course you can use your screwdriver or a pumice cleaner to get any scale off the bottom of the bowl into the siphon itself. 4. clean up & done...See MoreNew to being a stepmom, advice needed
Comments (10)"When I made a list of our relationship pros and cons, his parenting was the biggest (and almost the only) issue. Has anyone else had similar experiences?" *Raises hand* I dated a guy for two years that had an 8 year old son. Because he only had him ever other weekend and on Wednesday evenings, he spoiled his son and let him get away with a lot because he "didn't want to spoil the time he had with him". I tried working with my BF about his son, but he got defensive whenever I said something to him about his son's behavior. You are right - it's not your job to fix your boyfriend's children. You did not make them that way or allow them to become that way. Granted, the daughter may be on the autism spectrum, may need counseling, or just some firm parenting, but it is NOT YOUR JOB to fix. The one thing I learned from my experience is I will not wait so long to meet a man's children. I waited a whole year before getting to know my BF's son, and by that time I was already in love with the father, so it was hard to break it off once I started seeing the issues with my BF's parenting. I tried working on the issue with my BF for another year, but eventually I realized that unless he was willing to step up and parent his son, there was nothing I could do. Plus, you have to realize, with step kids your hands are tied behind your back You can't properly discipline them the way you would your own. Unless the dad is willing to step up and properly parent his children, you are only signing yourself up for a life of misery. Sure, his poor parenting may be the ONLY thing wrong with him, but that ONE thing will grow into a monster. There are many things in a relationship that the two of you have to argee on, and one of them is parenting. Of course your BF is upset you want to back off, you are the one doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship. I think I know why he's better with you and your kids. It sounds like you have raised your kids to be respectful, polite and well behaved. It's EASIER to deal with kids that have been raised right. It's a lot harder to RETRAIN kids that have been allowed to misbehave their whole life. And you probably don't get defensive if he tells you something about your kids, or go into denial about their behavior, which is what your BF is doing. And the fact that he wants more time with his kids would make me run for the hills. My BF did the same thing, we were talking about moving in together, and I thought I could handle it since his son would only be there every other weekend and on Wednesdays, but then the BM let the son stay with my BF full time. I knew I could not handle living with his son full time and I told my BF I could not move in with him. He got upset as well, and that was only another indicator to me that the relationship was in trouble (although at the time I didn't break up with him). I remember I once asked the ladies on here if they knew what they did now about step families and all the problems they would go through, would they do it again, and many of them said NO. That was what convinced me that I needed to break up with my BF. It's been three months since I've broken up with him and I don't regret my decision. Sure, sometimes I'm lonely, but a visit back to this site reminds me of why I broke it off and how happy I am now that I don't have to deal with all that mess!...See MoreI don't think my stepmom likes me...
Comments (49)I am trying. I will prob. take a break from it today. I have posted enough today. My first step mom had an affair on Dad. She ran up 75,000 in credit card debt. She ended up marring the guy she was messing around with. Dad put a private eye on her and they had photos of her in a hot tub. When his lawyer pulled those puppies out, her jaw dropped. Her lawyer was like..um..er..we need to talk in private. And she still got 15,000 bucks. I called it the 15,000 bj. Poor Dad. I don't want to see him get burned again. She was 18 years younger then Dad. Dad was like..I made a mistake, a man and women should not be more then 15 years apart. Then he marries a girl that is like 22 or 23 years younger then him. I was confused!! So I have had two step moms that I have had a tuff time relating too. Things could be worse. I know that. Remember when I told you that she asked me to leave Dad's house on xmas day. She could not put up the xmas tree. It's now April. I was like..why can't she put up the tree. Dad has allways kept a clean house. She told me that she could not walk into the sun room and look at the tree because it reminded me of her. My sis says that is a copout. She has probs, and I am the cause of them? She told her shrink that. I don't buy it. She may have probs, but I am not the cause. But I guess she has to put blame somewhere. Heck, she was the one that asked me to leave the house. She said.." i will kick your ass if I find out that you are telling either family or friends about me." Why, does she have something to hide? Is she paranoid? She is on meds and seeing a shrink. She says that is all because of me. I'm just trying to make sense of it all....See Morejustme312
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