You say your Dad is a dentist? Is he retired or still working. If still working, call him at work, see if you can meet him for lunch.

If he is not working, does he have any old friends, brothers or sisters you can beg to check on him. Same time, do google search on her. If she is from your area, check county records for any lawsuits, marriages with no divorce etc. Do what you can online (my county has some searchable records on line), otherwise you may have to take a day off work to go in. Get all that info, you may then want to see laywer.

So kkny, your advice is guerilla warfare, undermining and spy tactics?
What about diplomacy, assuming the best until proven wrong, and trying to get along first?

A 21-year age difference at your father's age isn't really all that much, and choosing not to work at that age isn't unusual. (Particularly for a newlywed whose husband recently spent time in the ICU.) And at 74, assuming your father's still mentally competent, he has every right to decide for himself how and with whom he wants to spend his time. I certainly can't say that your father's financial security didn't play some role in her attraction to him, but to assume that it's the primary reason certainly sells your father's other qualities short.

For you to consider her a gold-digger and brain-washer has got to be deeply offensive to her. Perhaps she senses your feelings on some level, and that is why she is unfriendly to you now?

You want to protect your father, which is totally natural, commendable even. What about acknowledging your feelings of protectiveness, admitting that you two seemed to have gotten off on the wrong foot, and suggesting that you two start over and try to get to know each other?

It may not help -- but it sure can't hurt. The legal maneuverings, spy tactics and geurilla warfare always remain as back-up options...

Excuse me, asking a chld to leave the house on Xmas day is pretty bizarre. A mother not having custoday of child is unusual. Bears investigation. Better safe than sorry.

How old are you geddy 2007? Why did she ask you to leave on Xmas day?
I agree with sweeby. Try giving her a chance! Why wouldnt she hide in the bedroom if she knows you feel so poorly about her?

Honestly,it is not your relationship,it is your dad's.He is a grown man who can handle himself.If he is happy,you need to stop being so bitter and open yourself up to your stepmom. Otherwise you are only excluding yourself...

I agree with Coolmama that it would be good for you to do what you can to get along. I also agree with kkny, though. It wouldn't hurt to have as much information as possible about this woman. It is a little bit odd that she didn't have custody of her daughter and there may be a good reason for it. That might be good for both OP's dad and OP to know.

Actually a 21 year age difference is a lot at any age. From what I have heard, and have seen substantiated in the case of an acquaintance whose husband is 20 years older than she, it becomes more of a problem as time goes on and the younger spouse ends up as a caretaker. It might not be so bad at 35 and 55, but many 65 year old women are still healthy and interested in traveling for instance, while by 85 many people are not in any shape to travel much.

It sounds from the original question that geddy doesn't have any idea why the woman doesn't like her. I would infer from that that geddy did not do anything intentionally to cause the rift.

Let me try to answer all these questions. This is going to be long inorder to shead light. Yes my Dad is still working, if he didn't they would have no income. I can call my Dad at work anytime I want, but that's not the issue here. (I am answering these questions from top to bottom). Yes Dad has friends and two brothers. I have allready done a google search on her. No, she is from Florida.

I am 41. She asked me to leave the house on Xmas day, because on Xmas eve, I was at Dad's house. It was me, my sister, my stepmom's daughter, her boyfriend, Dad and my Stepmom. I was in the computer room looking at pics of my friends on the computer. My stepmom's daughter and her boyfriend begine to disrepect a friend of mine. I kept my mouth shut. The next night on xmas day, Dad brought up that they were saying that some of my friends on the computer were bad. I was like..yea, I don't discrespect their friends, why do they discrespect mine. I thought it was rude. Dad says,..that's okay, I should of not brought it up. I said..that's okay..I'll have the last laugh. When my stepmom heard me say that, she went into a rage. (the conversation did not even include her). And she slapped a kitchen towel against her legg and goes..what do you mean by that. I was silent because my past experience with her is that when she get's mad..no matter what you say..it doesn't do any good. So she goes..why dont u just leave. And I said..you would be happier if I did would'nt you. And she didn't answer..she just goes..why don't u just leave..so I did.

Dad says she hides in the bedroom when I go over to the house because she feels bad for people to see her without makeup on. I dont' care..I'm family.

She allways plays the victem to Dad.

There is ALOT more to this. But I would be here typing for two hours to explaine it all, and we are all not in the same room.

She was persuing a married millionare when Dad met her. Dad met her in a bar. The first thing she said to me when I met her at Dad's house, after saying hello nice too meet you was, this is not what it looks like. What kind of woman says that?

When the got engaged, Dad did not tell any of his friends. When Dad was in ICU, she when whacko on me (again this is a long story). And she stayed mad at me for two days. I looked at her and said..what is wrong. She goes..the problem is you and I are here at the same time. He's in the freaking hospital, he's my father.

O, and get this...Dad's xmas tree is still up. She has no job. Why doesn't she put up the freaking tree. Dad has allways kept a clean house.

sweeby...What about diplomacy, assuming the best until proven wrong, and trying to get along first? What makes you think I did not take this route? And why are you assuming??? Take your own advice. Now, in your defense, you don't have enough info yet to make a good call. I understand that. You don't. But don't worry..all is good.
I'm looking for a educated voice of reason to correspond via email. And it looks like kkny has common sense, prolly even one of those college degree thingies. I would love it if you email me.

I'm even more confused then I was before about the situation (not really getting what she said about "This isnt what it looks like",or the getting married in a bar...does she drink alot?)

I have been in both situations.I have been the step mom,and I'am the step child also. There were times I truely hated my step dad. I didnt think he was right for my mom.I thought they brought out the worst in each other sometimes.My step dad often had an attitude with me over little things.He has also hollered at me so loud and in my face that I was shaking like a leaf and thought I would faint.
Then something happend. I stopped worrying about it so much. I knew my mom wasnt going to leave no matter what.She loves him,even if they fight,he is important to her.She is an adult and has to make her own choices in life.
So,I just tried to be happy for her.Although I did distance myself alot,but I have a life of my own too.
I now respect my stepdad and we get along pretty good. Sure there are times I may not like him,and likewise,but we deal with each other for my mom.
That's all you have to do.You dont have to like your stepmom.It may never be a brady bunch kinda deal.You just have to tolerate her now and then.If you cant,get with your dad by yourself.
Doesnt sound like she is your idea of the "ideal" woman for your father.But,you have to let him be a grown up,it is his choice who he picks to love and marry~not yours.
Alot of step moms Disengage from step kids whom they cant seem to please.Maybe you should try that.Stop looking for her approval,but dont go out of your way to be rude either.Emotionally un-attach yourself from the situation.
Be there for your dad when he needs you,but dont get too personal into their lives,and things should get better in time.

"This isnt what it looks like"...this is frustrating. Because I can't talk to yall. Where is kkny? She said that because she was sleeping with him. They did not get married in a bar..lol. Did I say that or imply that? They met in a bar.

Please, you are 41, grow up. You wrote:
"I am 41. She asked me to leave the house on Xmas day, because on Xmas eve, I was at Dad's house. It was me, my sister, my stepmom's daughter, her boyfriend, Dad and my Stepmom. I was in the computer room looking at pics of my friends on the computer. My stepmom's daughter and her boyfriend begine to disrepect a friend of mine. I kept my mouth shut. The next night on xmas day, Dad brought up that they were saying that some of my friends on the computer were bad. I was like..yea, I don't discrespect their friends, why do they discrespect mine. I thought it was rude. Dad says,..that's okay, I should of not brought it up. I said..that's okay..I'll have the last laugh. When my stepmom heard me say that, she went into a rage. (the conversation did not even include her). And she slapped a kitchen towel against her legg and goes..what do you mean by that. I was silent because my past experience with her is that when she get's mad..no matter what you say..it doesn't do any good. So she goes..why dont u just leave. And I said..you would be happier if I did would'nt you. And she didn't answer..she just goes..why don't u just leave..so I did."

If you came in my house and put on my computer YOUR photos, I think I would be allowed to comment them, even disrespectfully if I wish, it is my computer in my house, I am free to comment whatever I want and if you don't like it, well you can go.

Okay, they met in a bar so your father was in a bar looking to meet women...So what ? they are adults and surely your father is experienced enough to know what he wish for himself, even about xtrees. Maybe he does not care a fig about it or does not think of his wife as an unpaid cleaning maid.

It is clear that you don't like her and probably she don't like you (so there is no loss from both parties) but IT HIS NOT YOUR JOB TO LIKE HER, you just behave courteously because she's your father's wife. That's it.

By the way, the fact she was dating a millionaire but left him for your father should you reassure you that she's not a gold digger.

One can incourage or discourage anything. Have you ever loved someone? Did you like it when they were disrespectful. Probably not. That's all I am saying. I didn't put the pictures on his computer, or yours. But I can look at the pics from any computer in the world. That's how computers work.
You could also not let me in your house, you can ever be rude, or you can be nice. That is your choice. I pefer nice people. Don't you?

I know you can be disrespectful, anyone can. Including you. Did I mention that you can be disrespectful?

The millionaire she was dateing had a wife. That's why she left. The wife. Not the money. Hell, she wanted the money.

"I didn't put the pictures on his computer, or yours. But I can look at the pics from any computer in the world. That's how computers work. "

The computer was in their house, isn'it ? if somebody is looking at pictures in my house in my presence, I am in my right to comment them.If you don't like my comments, you go, it is not your house.If i don't like the pictures or the people in them, I can say it, it is my house. If you don't want somebody to comment on your pictures, just don't look at them (on their computer and computer time) in their house.

If you think she's just a gold digger, I understand why she does not wanto to see you. and by the way, it is not your place to incourage or discourage your father's relationship, he is a competent adult.

"Because I can't talk to yall."

I dont understand why you're saying this.Why would you post this problem then? We are trying to offer you advice. I'am a step child,as I stated above,so I feel I CAN offer advice...maybe it's just not what you want to hear?

I feel like we got off track here. Perhaps that's my fault. I know that people can act the way they want in their house. Because I can't talk to yall..as in, I can only type to yall. And I am not a good typer. Okay, enough of all that.
I am going to Dad's house tonight. He had surgery on his eyes. Now I'm gettin off track. Hopefully she will be nice. I never know what to expect. She is emotionally all over the place.

I know what you mean...I hate typing because so often it gets taken out of context or whatever.People interpret what they read in different ways.
Good luck tonight,hope it goes well.Keep us posted.

"This isnt what it looks like"...this is frustrating. Because I can't talk to yall. Where is kkny? She said that because she was sleeping with him." First - he is a grown man and she is a grown woman..she should not have to justify she is sleeping with your father, nor should he have to justify it. Second - I sense the attitude from you -I can't talk to yall" - "Where is kkny?" This meaning, you did not want to hear from the rest of us, only kkny because she was saying what you want to hear. Geddy, sounds like you have alot of attitude and a big chip on your shoulder and if you came to my home with that attitude, I would not appreciate it very much either. So it doesn't sound like it is all your SM's fault. Remember - all of on here are stepparents...we know all about the disrespecting stepchildren...that is why we post here. I hope things work out for you...but I did "hear" alot of smart sounding remarks that was probably in your voice when you speak to your SM and father. You have to work at it as well.

Jenny,

Her father is obviously a grown man, but is fast approaching the age where relatives can take advantage of him financially. This can and does happen. My advice to OP is to stay on top of situation.

"Her father is obviously a grown man, but is fast approaching the age where relatives can take advantage of him financially. This can and does happen. My advice to OP is to stay on top of situation."

The relatives possibly taking advantage of elder parents often are grown up sons and daughters. I found interesting that the only thing Geddy talks about is father's and his SM financial situation, professions or lack of etc..and not about their marriage, if his father is happy or not etc...

BTW the fact his SM is retired at 54 could mean simply that she started working early and saved enough to retire early or that she invested wisely: my mother did and could retire at 55, living modestly but with her own income while my father (they have been married for 44 years now) has chosen to continue working in the family company (he is 74) just , as he puts it "to have a reason to wake up each morning". I started working at 22, now I am 43, I saved and was lucky in investing my savings so now I own my house and from two years I could have the "luxury" to work just part-time and from home, so I can finish my PhD and be at home for my twins next year.

This just to say here are many financial situation and arrangement (and I know that my SS'mom thinks I am taking financial advantage f my husband, that is exactly 16 years older than me) and frankly I don't think consenting adults, and married to boot, should justify or explain themselves, especially to somebody that already is disposed to think the worst about them.

jenny, she already explained what she meant by "I can't talk to yall." She meant that it is difficult to express herself via posting on the forum. It would be easier for her to express what she means if she were speaking rather than typing. She also never said she asked for an explaination on the sex life of her father. Her stepmother just blurted out "this isn't what it looks like". Geddy's point is that it is weird to say that. Who blurts out upon first meeting a man's daughter "this isn't what it looks like"?

I think there is more to the story as well including the fact that the woman didn't have custody of her own children. We all need to look out for the people we love in our lives. If I thought my brother or best friend were dating a money-grubbing gold-digger. I think I would be just as concerned as Geddy is about her Dad. Yes he is a grown man, but people in love can't always see the forest for the trees and there is no reason why Geddy shouldn't be a little bit concerned.

I would be protective of my parents too, but if you are going to be in your dad's business like that, then you should just talk to him about it. If you can't do that, then you should not be concerned with his personal life in the first place. Your dad has been around the block and if he's a dentist then he still has a sound mind and can make his own choices. Do you have someone coming inbetween your relationships all the time like some constant detective who thinks she has a right to judge your every move? Some of it does sound fishy, so just talk it out. Maybe she doesn't feel 100% herself with you around? Maybe she just wanted to salvage a little time on Christmas day being able to be herself around your dad without feeling judged. Now that we (the kids)are older in my family, we usually take a couple hours of break time on Xmas and such to give each other some mental space..this way no one gets on each other's nerves. Shooing you off on Christmas does sound a little mean, but if SHE FEELS you are only there to cause tension (whether it's true or not)then she may have needed some alone time with him. To be honest, my first thought reading your post was that you were around 16 yrs old. No offense, honestly. Please don't be offended, but sometimes a stranger online is the best source of cold honesty.. i'm sure i will get some myself when i post my own malfunctions! i'm not perfect either.. just trying to cover all angles to help ya. Good luck with everything. Mixed families are tough.. but you have to remember that it is not your place to referee their relationship. Just talk to your dad.. and i hope he is doing well and in good health. ICU is a scary place.. i know!!

You wrote: "Dad brought up that they were saying that some of my friends on the computer were bad. I was like..yea, I don't discrespect their friends, why do they discrespect mine. I thought it was rude. Dad says,..that's okay, I should of not brought it up. I said..that's okay..I'll have the last laugh. When my stepmom heard me say that, she went into a rage. "

I'm guessing the stepmom may have misinterpreted the "I'll have the last laugh." comment. I have to say, I'm a little unsure what it was supposed to have meant. Coming on the heels of a "your friends look bad" comment, if that 'bad' meant 'disreputable' and not 'unflattering pose' then perhaps she took it as a veiled threat against her kids? That always brings out 'the bear' in any mamma.

You wrote that your dad was still working because if he didn't they wouldn't have any income. Now, does that sound like she is after his money?

There are too many people in this thread for me to effectivley explanine the situation to all of yall. Sorry.
I am also wondering if I should have gone to the...stepchild thread. And I totaly understand that I am not going to figure out why she does what she does by coming on here. But thanks anyway for your kind words, and advice.

Also..Raek..get's major brownie points. I love me some common sense with a side of sensitivity.

>> ... prolly even one of those college degree thingies.

There are a number of things in the OP's posts that make me wonder if we're being taken for a ride.

Good point, patti43 - if Dad's working because they need money, I guess SM didn't marry him for money.

This really sounds more like a 15 year old (no offense to 15 year olds!) than a 41 year old.

Are our collective legs being pulled?

Becuase he working the SM isnt interested in his money???

Get real. He is a dentist -- he could be making good money, own a home, have a retirement plan, etc. etc.

who cares

Saying that because Op has made it clear she doesnt want to talk to us. Why bother discussing this thread any further.

kkny - get real, yourself. A 74 year old man who works because he has to for income isn't a man with enough money to retire. I can see someone working at that age because they want to, but the OP says that they wouldn't have any income if he didn't work.

There are plenty of men out there who are financially comfortable or "set" in retirement and who could be a far better catch for a gold digger than someone who still works at 74 for money.

And I suspect that the father only says that the step mother doesn't come out of her room because she doesn't want to be seen without makeup is only saying that to spare OP's feelings. Perhaps step mom doesn't come out because she actuall doesn't like the OP. Dad probably doesn't want to say that to his kid (his 41 year old kid).

I think it's ironic that the subject of the OP's thread is "I don't think my stepmom likes me", but the whole post is about how the OP (he or she, I don't think we know) is about the OP doesn't like the stepmom. Frankly, from what we've read here from the OP, I'd suspect that the OP gives the stepmom good reason not to like him/her.

But, coolmama, I guess you're right. OP has indicated that we (well, most of us ...) haven't given him/her the answer he/she was looking for, so has decided to take his/her balls and go home.

A couple of things to consider. How much money someone makes, and have much they have in the bank. Are two different things. Dad could stop working tomorrow. He has money in the bank. How much..nunya.
also..define colddigger. It's not in websters..or is it. Who cares..right. also..what's the definiton of alot of money. It is whatever you think it is.
Does that help shead light. Also..I am a male. I do have balls. If some of you get very bitter about this tread, not to worry, there are meds for that.
Thanx and have a nice day.

Well - think I know who the gold digger is!! I think I was right with the attitude accusations. I think I now feel sorry for the SM! and have a nice day to you as well.

Jenny you lost me. Are you saying that I am a gold digger?

Well you just never know who is after someone's money...this is all you seem to be concerned about. I do not know you - but you are the one who put yourself out there for advice. Whether your dad is rich or not - you stated that he is working or else there would be no income. It just looks to most of us that if he is still working - then he needs the money (at 74), which in turn does not support your statement that she may be a gold digger. If he is still working at 74, then safe to say he is of sound mind and if he chooses this woman to be with, then he has the right for that decision. My mother is 68 and her money is her money. I can take care of myself. If she chooses to marry someone half her age - well so be it. None of my business. You do come across as arrogant. If you come across as arrogant to people you do not know, then maybe just maybe you do it to your own family.

I think that alot of children have fear that someone will take advantage of their parents in parents old age. Not necessarily a SM, but could be another relative.

What happens when an adult work his entire life, turn senile, and changes will?

I can take of myself too, but that doesnt mean I would let this happen to my daughter.

"I think that alot of children have fear that someone will take advantage of their parents in parents old age."

Good heavens! He's only 73, and he's still a practicing dentist! If he's senile, the bigger problem is that he's still working on people's teeth with anesthetics and drills.

And it's much easier to keep a protective eye on a loved one when you haven't alienated yourself from that person's chosen spouse. Other than being rude to you, Geddy, what has your father's wife done to HIM that makes you think she's a danger? And what has your father done to make you think he is incapable of looking out for his own interests?

Geddy - It's really pretty simple. If you want your father's wife to like you, you have to be willing to try to like her. I mean, how many people do you like when you know they can't stand you? (None, right?) You have to demonstrate, through your words and deeds, that your father's happiness, not just his financial security, is what's really important to you.

I almost don't know what to say. Or where to start. I am concerned about other things then money Jenny. But, I guess I have to prove my self to you. How I do that..lol, I'm not shure if I can! kkny said.. I think that alot of children have fear that someone will take advantage of their parents in parents old age. Well, add me to the list.
Okay..sweeby..you say that I alienated my self from her. How so, give me 2 examples. And date them please. I didn't say she was a danger. I said that I thought she MIGHT be a gold digger. Heck, I don't know. It just looks like. She doesn't have the answer stamped on her forhead. But does any gold digger? She was activley persuing a MARRIED MILLIONAIRE when Dad met her. So that raised a red flag.
For those women in this thread that are married, would your husband be hurt if you were persuing a married guy?
(okay, that's a different topic).
But it raised a red flag with me. Also keep in mind. She does not have a job. Why..hell I don't know, you would have to ask her. She has my Dad to take care of her, so she does not have to work.
But you know something, whether she is or isn't a gold digger. In a way, I don't care. It's Dad's life and his money. He can do what he wants to. What really upsets me, is that she is rude to me.
She was rude to me when Dad was in the hospital. She was tlaking to my cousin on the phone about money. I told my cuz, why in the heck are yall talking about money, Dad is in ICU, shouldn't she be focused on him and not the amount of money he does or doesn't have. (she was not married to him at the time).
My cuz told me that my SM brought up the money issue.
And she jumped my case over money. I'm like..dang, what do I do? What do I tell this women?
She said..the problem is that you and I are here at the same time. When Dad was in ICU. How would she like it if her dad was in ICU, and i got on her case. I wouldn't do that. I have no need to do that. And the list goes on and on and on and on.

OK - so you could care less about his money..that is great and the best way to be. You do not have to prove anything to me or any of us. First you say you your situtation is exactly what kkny said...worried about someone taking advantage of your Dad, then you say it does not matter to you if she is a "gold digger" or not - then what really bothers you is your SM is rude to you. People are just trying to give you advice of how you could get along with your SM. Me being a SM of 24 and 15 year old man/kid, knows the arrogance that is shown through. If your SM is rude to you, then your old enough to handle it and not go around her. Just take your Dad out for dinner and have him at your home, play golf, go fishing, etc. My point is that from the very beginning of this thread, you have sounded very "overbaring". I could almost bet you are coming through as rude to your SM...maybe you do not realize it. When my SS's were rude to me, at first I just "removed" myself from their presence. Then eventually I threw it back at them. Could you be the one being rude?

Jenny..to be honest, I would have to either email you one on one, or pick up the phone and call you inorder to paint the full picture inorder for you to make a more informned desicion. I am a nice guy. But you don't know that. It's a long story..alot more has happened then I have posted.
Am i perfect. Heck no. Do I warrent being the recipient of her "wierd behavior". Nope. But it has happened. This forum does not have a edit feature. If it did, I would post my email then delete it. But I don't know when you are going to log on and read this.

Most of us who have commented on your post, are on here daily. (and many other people) You can tell anything about yourself that you want to. Alot of the threads on here are very long...but you know what? They are read. You can go into as much detail as you want. I am not saying you are a bad person. Your right I do not know you. I am not perfect. You are a man and you can "disengage" from her weird behavior. Is she a danger to you? We are here for support because we are in blended families. Most everyone here are dealing with step children...under age, who treat us (step parents) not so well. We all offer advice of how we can help based on our situation. We relate mostly to exactly what you are saying about your SM. Grant it - not all SM's are great ones - but the majority I believe are. So type until you can't type anymore.

I am trying. I will prob. take a break from it today. I have posted enough today. My first step mom had an affair on Dad. She ran up 75,000 in credit card debt. She ended up marring the guy she was messing around with. Dad put a private eye on her and they had photos of her in a hot tub. When his lawyer pulled those puppies out, her jaw dropped. Her lawyer was like..um..er..we need to talk in private. And she still got 15,000 bucks. I called it the 15,000 bj. Poor Dad. I don't want to see him get burned again. She was 18 years younger then Dad. Dad was like..I made a mistake, a man and women should not be more then 15 years apart. Then he marries a girl that is like 22 or 23 years younger then him. I was confused!!

So I have had two step moms that I have had a tuff time relating too. Things could be worse. I know that.
Remember when I told you that she asked me to leave Dad's house on xmas day. She could not put up the xmas tree. It's now April. I was like..why can't she put up the tree. Dad has allways kept a clean house. She told me that she could not walk into the sun room and look at the tree because it reminded me of her. My sis says that is a copout. She has probs, and I am the cause of them? She told her shrink that. I don't buy it. She may have probs, but I am not the cause. But I guess she has to put blame somewhere. Heck, she was the one that asked me to leave the house. She said.." i will kick your ass if I find out that you are telling either family or friends about me."
Why, does she have something to hide? Is she paranoid?
She is on meds and seeing a shrink. She says that is all because of me. I'm just trying to make sense of it all.

"I made a mistake, a man and women should not be more then 15 years apart. Then he marries a girl that is like 22 or 23 years younger then him. I was confused!!"

This is your dad's own fault then.Tell him to stick to women closer to his age.I dont mean to sound harsh,but what else do you really think a woman that much younger is intrested in? Not his looks probably.You see it all the time,your dad needs to wake up and smell the coffee.

You tell me, your a woman. If she is not intrested in his looks could it be...his money? Aww..we are back to my orginal post, I don't think my stepmom likes me and might be a gold digger. Me telling my Dad to stick to women his own age is like me telling you that you should start playing golf.

Well,then no disrespect your dad,but that is all he is going to attract is gold diggers. Yes,I'am a woman,and the thought of being with a man that much older then me is a gross thought. There may be a very small percentage of women who are with men that much older for love,but it is probably like 2% out of 100.
My point being,if he is old enough that he could be their father...they might look at him as such for financial support.

Well I certainly don't have a problem with older men, but it does sound like your father may have a problem with much younger women. Why didn't you say so earlier on?

OK - So assuming she is a gold digger and that she's more 'like' her predecessor than not, I'd say ignore her. (She may go away in the not-too-distant future.) Just stay on good terms with your father and be there to help pick up the pieces if and when she disappoints him.

You might try tactfully addressing your concerns with your father to make sure his retirement savings are protected in the event of a divorce. Or better yet, talk to your uncles and have them do it.

Oh please get real,

Most SMs hate the skids. go to a site like www.stepsforstepmothers.com

dedictated to Sms

they hate they kids, they delite in putting down skids, they are happy when they are gone.

they want skids gone

get real -- THIS IS LIFE -- deal with it

Helenar,that is not exactly helpful as much as it is judgemental. How is going to stepsforstepmothers.com going to help OP when he is a step kid???
We are trying to make suggestions,not jump to conclusions.Clearly there is alot to this story then meets the eye.
If step mom is a good digger,she may not like OP.But this does not mean ALL step moms hate their step kids.

helenar...you get real! Maybe you hate your stepkids...but do not put that on the rest of us.

My stepkids will be writing on forums later on in life...

I don't think my Biomom likes me...

My Biomom and my stepmoms never go shopping together.
C...I can be funny too.