I can't change my husband's mind in a hurry, he is very resistant to change. But he is suggestible. I tend to talk about a project I want to do frequently, then when he says no, I set it aside. A few months later, I come to him and tell him there is a problem with a certain space or the way something looks and almost always he comes up with the change I suggested a few months before, as though he just thought of it. (really, he does!)
I don't know what will work for you, appealing to the budget conscious side sometimes works for me. If we could do "whatever project" it would make the home more salable if we ever decide to sell it, or the closet arrangement stuff is on sale this week at the hardware store. We could save $$$ if we do that project this week. best wishes!

Would DH be enlarging the closet or would it be hired out? It sounds as if he either isn't up to the task himself and/ or can't see spending the time and $ when you will be selling the house. Perhaps bringing in some real estate agents and getting their opinions about the closet as well as other things that might impede a sale will help make your case.

My first question is, will you be moving a load bearing wall? If so, may be more than just the fact of moving your closet wall. How about building a closet system in the one you have.....shelves for shoes...rods for long clothes and two rods for blouses/skirts. My husband is handy with doing things too and isn't hard to convince...we are both retired so have lots of time.

What would happen if you just had it done? I don't think that is any different (doing it without his cooperation) than him having the final say of "no". If I wanted something important to me that wasn't a crazy idea (hopefully I would recognize that) and he was being unreasonable (if you believe he is) then I would just do it anyway. I would feel resentful of a man who thought he got to decide these things, so I'd rather have the battle than seethe about it not being done, which I would.

I am with him... why move walls etc when you are selling early next year.

IF it was good enough for you to live with (and you did not change it while you were living there, even though you said you would), I would not bother now either.... JMHO!

I don't think there's any easy answer to that question. In my relationship with my DH, he tends to give me a lot of leeway in making house-related decisions. However, he probably wouldn't listen to me if I wanted to convince him about what type of car he should buy for himself, or what kind of investments are wise. On the other hand, for example, I have one friend who has NO power in her relationship. Her DH has the final say-so on every single decision. I have tried to give her advice, but part of the problem is hers because she has allowed him to have all the power all these years.

For me, if I can't get DH on board right away, I'll email him photos of whatever it is at work, I'll bring it up in multiple conversations, etc., until he will agree just to shut me up!

It doesn't sound worth the effort of moving a wall (and mess and expense) to gain 1 foot of space. I really don't think that is a significant difference.

I know how disappointing it can be to have your heart set on something and not have DH on board!
Like Sueb, I talk about it, show him photos and then I will have someone come out to give an estimate.
By this time, he knows it's important to me and unless he has a valid reason against(and has changed my mind) ... it's going to happen!

Well, since this is a G rated forum, I'll go to plan B.

"The Trojan Horse" method. Come up with a Bigger, Grander, More expensive plan. Then say, oh, you are right that is too much, we could just move the wall then by 1' and it will still really help us out".

I have to agree, that closet size is more important than people think when people are looking at houses. We had a closet that was probably only 5 or 6 feet wide, by maybe 8' deep in the last house. People hated it. This house, we made sure to steal room for the bedroom to make that closet bigger. I am sure that when we go to sell this house, the closet will be the final push the buyer needs to sign that contract. In fact, I think I'll keep pens in there on the island for them to write up the contract while they are in there....oh, sorry, got off on a little tangent.

So, first use the non PG-rated method, then the Trojan horse.

Good Luck.

:)

I am of the don't sweat the small stuff and this small. It's a nothing, so let it go. Manipulation and other means of changing your husbands mind is petty and destructive to your marriage and to your own intergrity. And that's what's important, not the closet, which you see as the hinge to the entire future sale of the house, and quite possibly - no crystal ball here- it isn't.

I have to side with DH on this one. What size is the bedroom? Some buyers may prefer the larger BR vs the closet.

I'm afraid it's going to get costly to gain one foot in the closet. Electrical can't be spliced within walls so that means you'll need electrical work (if wiring is too short), demo, framing, drywall + tape/mud, & painting.
As mentioned above, you may find the wall is a load bearing wall.

I think having enough room for a king size bed and other furniture may rank higher for buyers than the closet.

Since you plan on selling, how about getting a realtor involved? The realtor can give you good advise on the closet issue as well as point out other aspects that might need changing. You will be ahead of the game for next spring.

It's funny. We are looking for an apartment with our daughter in the NYC. Of course we expected small places, but I have come to see that it's first location, then it's closets.

Looking from your DH's point of view. He sounds like he is done with this house. But in my honest opinion, I think if he hears from an unbiased person, he might just come around.

Get someone else to change it for you. I can tell my dh something 'til I'm blue in the face. The he'll have a discussion with someone at work or maybe a family member and then, eureka! It's as if he just thought of this wonderful idea! Ticks me off.

Sameboat, same boat!!! DH is extremely receptive to outside influences, and he will do LOTS of stuff for other people, but not us. One time he brought home furniture of someone he met on Facebook to refinish!!! Has he EVER refinished furniture??? No.... I think he thought I would do it, but I let it sit.

Nancy

We aren't likely to disagree on the big stuff, but I can usually tell him why I like something and have him agree. When we were doing our kitchen, it was often more a case of telling him to look at this, later to look at that, then the next day a couple more....sometimes he just couldn't keep up, but that's not going to help you with a single issue unless you create a lot more headaches.

If I were going to try to deal with your issue, I would get 2-3 bids from contractors and have them specifically look at whether the wall is load bearing and what else might be involved in moving it. I would also talk to 2-3 realtors and find out what they think about how the house will show and what you might think about doing between now and the time you list. Don't bring up the closet -- see what they say first, then you can ask them about it if they don't bring it up.

Be honest with yourself when weighing the two sets of opinions. At this point, it is more about selling a house than your emotional attachment to it or disappointment in not getting the closet done before now. Try to step back and honestly evaluate whether a good cleaning and staging of the closet wouldn't do just as much for you for the cost of a coat of paint (no rule says a closet has to be flat white), an inexpensive light fixture, some matching coat hangers (that you take with you), and perhaps some organizational or storage aids.

Good closet space is important, but you are going to need to get a lot out of 12 inches to make it be the thing that does or doesn't sell the house. Some situations might do that while a lot of others won't. Some clever staging and organizing might do just as much for a lot less.

I had a long reply answering everyone's questions and then lost internet connection.

So to sum it up, it's not a load bearing wall.

There were electric wires spliced when the electrician did our kitchen, they just have to be in junction boxes, at least that's what it looked like.

I know a foot isn't much and checking with a realtor is a good idea. I'd want to make sure it was worth doing. It would still leave us with a decent sized bedroom at 12x15.

This closet has been a bone of contention for the last 15 years. A 3x5 closet might be ok for one person, but not for 2. Maybe in the old days when people didn't have many clothes, but not today, at least not us. It's better now that the kids are gone and I can put some of dh's clothes in another bedroom closet.

Summerfield drew us a neat plan one time where we expand a guest room onto the front porch, and then take a foot out of the master and three feet out of the guest room for the master closet. That would give us a decent closet, and if we stay here, I would want to do the guest room expansion. But if we put wood floor down now, the foot out of the master has to be done now as well, IMO.

When we sell, we need to be able to get as much out of this house as possible so we can buy 2 small fixers. It's either that or my mil comes to live with us, and I know myself, and I just wouldn't do well in prison.

We moved into our home 16 years ago and at that time it was perfect for us. Fast forward to several years ago. All our children were out of the house and this home with a truly bad layout for two soon to be seniors, turned from my dream home to my little house of horrors.

Trying to convince DH to see how important a one level home was to me just couldn't compete with his stubbornness to not sell under any circumstances. We hired an architect and he came up with a 250,000 remodel that would address most of the issues except how to get up and down stairs if we aged in place as DH was insisting. The main drawback other than the big upfront price tag was the significant increase in taxes this addition would have incurred.

I talked about moving constantly but to no avail. I was at wits end and all the reasoning in the world didn't work I finally took the nuclear option and bought my own house. Needless to say DH was not pleased but for me it is my insurance policy in the event that one or the other of us became incapacitated. We are currently renting it to friends on a monthly basis but it is there if we need it.

I really wouldn't encourage anyone else to go such a drastic route as it really hurt my DH's feelings but I was tired of not having a say in the matter and he finally came to see that the home was an investment and gave me peace of mind.

IMO a closet not working is a minor inconvenience especially if you will be moving soon. A whole house not working calls for drastic measures. You may win the battle but lose the war so it may not be worth it.

It may well not be worth it. But it seems the buyers today want everything they see on hgtv. We've got a start on the kitchen, but I prefer white appliances and a new, young neighbor tells me that will hurt us. We've got a good sized family room and dining room. But the first thing this neighbor said when she saw our bedroom is that we need to enlarge the bath & closet. Enlarging the bath is impossible.

But if enlarging the closet even a little with help sell, I'd like to do it. I'd hate to get comments that said they'd like the house if it weren't for the tiny master closet. But if it won't make any difference, or wouldn't pay for itself, I wouldn't do it just to sell. If something happens and mil decides that assisted living wouldn't be so bad after all, we'll stay and then I'd really like the larger closet.

Why don't you take that pressure off yourself? If you stay, then moving the wall a foot could mean not doing the guest room expansion and getting 3 feet -- which makes things a lot different. Get extra flooring so you will have enough to move both walls. Yes, it will cost you a little extra, but you gain the possibility of a bigger benefit. If nothing else, you or a future owner will have the flooring in case of a remodel, a water leak or other damage.

egbar's technique works pretty well with my DH, but not always.

At the old house, I was so sick of the paneling in the LR, but he thought it was fine. So one day, when he was home, I grab a crow bar and head into the LR and start moving furniture and then start attacking the paneling. He was so upset that I was going to destroy the walls, that he jumped right in and started showing me how to do it right. Next thing I knew, the paneling was gone. Problem solved!

I also think getting a realtor's opinion (or two) would be useful, and you may get some other suggestions for your eventual sale as a bonus.

I wonder if you have considered a closet organizing system? It could really take advantage of the available space, and would probably cheaper than moving a wall. Would that be a compromise DH would entertain? Prospective buyers may appreciate a extremely well organized closet as much or more than a bigger one.

I went to The Container Store with my closet dimensions and they couldn't' come up with anything I didn't already have in the closet. There's only so much you can cram into a tiny closet.

I suggest you talk to a couple of realtors. If they feel it won't make a difference, then save your $$ and negotiations or future house.

If the current size of the bedroom is 12 x 16 or 13 x 15 you might have room for a beautiful stand alone wardrobe that would likely be cheaper than the reno and give you a nice piece to take with you when you go. Lived in an old house with small closets for many years, and this solution worked for us.

Well, I'd say you need to find out what the reason is and address that:
1. Is it the cost? Then show him comparable house listings and what their closets look like and estimates of how much it would cost to enlarge the closet.
2. Is it the "hassle" of making decisions and getting it done? Then tell him that you'll handle it.
3. Is it the inconvenience of the actual construction/reno part? Then have it done when he's gone.

If I've read correctly, you've lived with this closet for 15 years and just now want to enlarge it for resale? If it has a decent organizer system and you've lived with it, chances are someone else will too. A closet would not be a deal breaker for me, especially if the possibility exists to enlarge it. I think for the most part layout, kitchens and baths are what buyers zero in on most and can be deal breakers. Anyone looking at homes built prior to the 90's should expect smaller closets. Older homes with small closets sell every day. If everyone in your neighborhood has enlarged theirs and they will be your competition, you have a valid argument.

I've not really had this issue as things are talked about for so long before we actually get into a doing it mode that I don't have yo worry about it. Or in other cases in general I just do what I want as he doesn't care so much other than when it comes to painting as he hates paint fumes. It probably helps too that I have my own income and also got us a 60x40 shop that is his playground and where he makes the majority of decisions without asking me.

Although if I really needed to I'm guessing I could use my daughter to convince him as she has daddy wrapped around her finger for the most part.

For the closet you are talking about though is the 1 ft going to make a difference? What is the shape of the closet? It just doesn't seem like 1 ft could make that much of a difference. Depending on the shape of course, but have you figured how much extra storage space it really would give you?

Free standing wardrobes made to look like built ins might be a really good option like somebody else suggested.

I should have explained the splicing wires better. Splicing can be done within junction boxes but the boxes always have to be accessible, which means they can't be enclosed within walls (per code). If the junction boxes are in the attic then you should be fine.

If you're definitely going to remodel and gain another 3' in the closet then moving the wall for 1' may be worth it. If you're not sure the guest room expansion is happening then I wouldn't put the money in it at the moment.
Do you have a nearby bedroom that you can turn into a walk-in closet? That's what DS did and it worked well for them.

Dh & I talked about it, and have started working on an overall plan. I made chart listing changes one or both of us want to make, and whether they would help sell. Dh wants to approach it as if this were just a house we wanted to flip, putting the least amount of money & effort for the biggest impact. And that is probably a good idea. If it works out that we don't need to live within a few yards of mil and we keep the house, we can still expand the one bedroom and enlarge our closet without tearing up too much of what we do now.

A few of you have mentioned that we've lived with this closet for 15 years and it is just now a problem. But that isn't the case really. The closet has always been something I wanted to change, and at one point it was for dh too. BUT, we have a walk in closet in the family room and dh took it over for his sporting equipment. We have a walk in closet in the garage and dh took it over for his work related stuff. So yeah, now the closet isn't a problem for dh, but even more so for me because now my stuff has been squeezed out of the other two closets. When we were talking today, dh said he has a lot of seasonal clothes he could put in another closet. One guest room closet is packed with our "this doesn't fit right now" clothes, and the other guest room closet is empty, but I told him I have dibs on it for MY sewing stuff. It's only 2x4' but beats nothing. And yes, we need face the fact that neither of us are going to lose weight and get rid of the clothes that don't fit. That will be another small closet open.

jak1, that is probably the best idea - a free standing wardrobe. We have an armoire on the wall next to the closet now, but no hanging space. I could probably rework what is in it now, fold a lot of dh's t-shirts and maybe put baskets on top and ease the crowding in our closet.

"I went to The Container Store with my closet dimensions and they couldn't' come up with anything I didn't already have in the closet. There's only so much you can cram into a tiny closet."

Did you see what they could figure out with another foot added in to make sure that change would be worth it?

Sounds like you are on the right track to talking and figuring out what will work best. Do look at the things you are storing and be honest with yourself about what you need and wehat you are hanging onto simply because you have a space to stuff it into. You may be able to clear out more than just too small clothing. Sounds like it is just the two of you and that you do have pretty decent closet space. If you put the house on the market, you will want to show that off to its best potential -- which means about half empty by your current standards. Starting that process now might make things easier on you both then and in the meantime.

We have an armoire that DH uses with shelves, but it has brackets to hold a hanging rod. Would something like that help -- either with the one you have or another one?

When I went to the Container store, I was just trying to use the space I had at the time. I hadn't thought of adding a foot from the bedroom yet.

The armoire we have has drawers. I'm not crazy about my ironed clothes folded in drawers but dh doesn't really care, so he can have it.