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em11_gw

Does anyone else get emotionally attached to their furniture?

Em11
10 years ago

The reason I ask is because we are about to purchase a new sofa. The one we have is almost 10 years old and actually still looks pretty nice. It's just my husband and I, so it's been well taken care of.

However, during a summer family get together, my teenage nephew was rough housing with my 5 year old nephew, tossed him onto the sofa, and leaped upon him in a WWF wrestling type of move. The frame underneath the sofa was cracked completely in two. I could hear it from the kitchen. The younger child was fine, though.

I love that sofa. It was custom made, very traditional, maybe even a bit stuffy, but such a classic English design. We've tried to repair it, but short of stripping it down and rebuilding it, it's never going to be reliable again. And then besides that, it is ten years old, and I think I'm ready for a change.

I've another one in mind already, a nice leather Chesterfield, which is something I've thought about for several years. But goodness, I am sad about getting rid of my current sofa. I don't think it's worth donating, because it's broken, so we'll probably just dispose of it. I plan to take the fabric off, have it cleaned, and perhaps do something with it, but it still makes me sad.

Anyone else get so attached to furniture? I feel like I'm tossing out a pet or something. It's utterly ridiculous, right?

Comments (59)

  • allison0704
    10 years ago

    I've never gotten attached to an upholstered living room sofa, but I do have an upholstered wicker sofa I do not ever want to loose. I also get attached to our houses and many accessories - most are old that I either purchased at local antique shops or when traveling. If something doesn't scream at me, it doesn't come home, so everything is personal for me.

  • Cloud Swift
    10 years ago

    Only rarely and so far not to a piece of upholstered furniture - only to something made well from lovely wood. Sofas and chairs lose my interest when they get to looking shabby.

    My problem is that I don't enjoy shopping for replacements, so I tend to keep stuff until it really desperately needs to go.

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  • dedtired
    10 years ago

    Yes, a few things. I have a chair in my den that came from my great aunt's house and holds lots of memories for me. The entire den was furnished with her furniture and I slowly got rid of all of it but this chair and a table. The coffee table was my mom's, but it is the perfect size, so it's not a problem. It still has crayoning inside one drawer that my brother did when he was a kid The chair is a bit sad looking.

    The worst for me is a desk that my father made for me. It is a really nice desk for a home made project, but it has it's problems and isn't working so well for me. I want to replace it but that means getting rid of it since I have nowhere to put it. I just can't bring myself to get rid of it.

    Funny how some of our stuff owns us instead of the other way around.

  • sochi
    10 years ago

    Normally, no, not furniture. Except for one piece, a rather ugly but very, very well used upholstered rocking chair that I nursed my two kids in for years, held them all night as babies and toddlers when they were sick, I read them their first books in that chair, etc. It has served us well (kids are 6 and 9 now), but I can't imagine parting with it. It is actually kind of gross now, but..

  • User
    10 years ago

    I have a dresser that I was going to give to a friend last year but couldn't pull the trigger I didn't think I was attached to furniture until then. I had to call and apologize that I could not part with it. I was the first dresser I had since I was a baby. It has gone through many different paint jobs and different people in our family have used it but ......................I couldn't let it go. It is not good quality or anything special but I can't remember a time in my life where it has not been there. I guess after moving so much it was the only constant.

  • DLM2000-GW
    10 years ago

    I do get attached to things, furniture included. Oddly, I'm only attached to case goods, not upholstered pieces but most of my case goods have a story, either family pieces or things I hunted down at estate sales and little shops and then refinished or painted.

    dedtired you're so right about being owned by our stuff.

  • patty_cakes
    10 years ago

    Most definitely! When my DH and I separated years ago, the first thing I bought was a Rice bed since it was one of those things I lonnnnnged to have~it's now 22 years old. Since I never buy anything I don't really love, I've become attached to just about everything in my home. It doesn't have to be an expensive item either, a wicker trunk that serves as a coffee table/ottoman in my family room is a perfect example. It holds the grand kids toys, is still 'nice to look at', and was purchased at Big Lots about 7 years ago. A metal tole lamp, 2 antique crysta chandeliers, and a grouping of vintage Godey fashion French inspired prints are other examples, not expensive, but all work so well in various rooms.

    If you 'hold out' until you find things you absolutely love, you'll save money in the long run, as well as having extra satisfaction in your home.

  • peegee
    10 years ago

    Like Allison, my furniture would not have made it into my house unless it was already special to me, calling my name....I have never tired of my most comfortable chair: an antique oak platform-rocker morris chair bought in the mid 70's - recently had the cushions reupholstered. The elderly couple I purchased it from had refinished it at some point and it looked 'new'; still looks exactly the same. I intend to use this favorite chair for the rest of my life! No matter where I end up! I certainly have other pieces with which I have a strong emotional bond and feel for your unexpected situation. I like the idea of making something from the fabric- maybe a toss pillow or two for the new couch? Might soften the transition.....

  • blfenton
    10 years ago

    Would I get attached to a 10 year old couch that given that it is only 10 years old and given the standards of construction on furniture these days, isn't surprising that the frame cracked - no.

    I am, however, emotionally attached to my grandmothers dining room table that is 90 years old and to a sideboard that has been in my family since 1890, both of which I now own.

  • sjhockeyfan325
    10 years ago

    Can I just send some of you my husband's grandmother's monogrammed table linens that she got when she got married -- they're over a hundred years old, and the napkins measure 36" inches square (you read that right!)? (Fortunately, my daughter-in-law wants them!)

  • Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
    10 years ago

    I am attached to the amount of work it takes to find new things I love so in a sense, yes. Replacing even small things is so laborious and time consuming that I hold on to things forever.
    But as mentioned, truly worn out things do get me motivated and I won't keep things past their prime. But I can usually focus on only one thing at a time...a lamp, for instance, which will need shades, more work.

    This post was edited by Bumblebeez on Mon, Aug 26, 13 at 21:18

  • mitchdesj
    10 years ago

    I am emotionally attached to my paintings and sculptures, but not furniture since I can replace the furniture and I don't have heirlooms or family pieces.

    I do have some good quality pieces I would rather not ever have to replace but no emotions about it.

    In the case of your sofa, did you consult an upholsterer to see if it can be reframed ?

  • finallyhome
    10 years ago

    I'm "financially" attached. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my furniture except it's old and doesn't match. I want something different and "put together" but hate to spend money when it's just fine.

    I'm single with no kids, so stuff lasts a longggggg time.

    Attached? To my money. I'm trying to change.

  • tammy518
    10 years ago

    Oh, yes, I definitely am emotionally attached to my furniture and I hate it! My husband and I have been separated for over two years and he let me have the pick of the nice furniture we had collected over the years. I'm in a new house now with all my old, familiar stuff, and it's so lovely and nice to look at, but then I think it would be great to travel lightly and just have what I "need" more than what I "want." :/

  • joaniepoanie
    10 years ago

    Well on second thought I wouldn't say attached but it did give me pause recently when I had to part emotionally from my childhood furniture from the 60's. it was a 9 drawer white dresser with a melamine/Formica like top...modern looking. My parents took it with them from so cal to las vegas in 1989 when they retired to use in the second bedroom. Dad died in 06 and mom in 07, just as my oldest friend from 3rd grade was separating and relocating back to so cal and needed furniture. We were both thrilled she was able to take the dresser we had both grown up with so to speak. She was very close to my folks and also took some of my mothers pieces. Fast forward to June when she calls to tell me she is moving to Hawaii to be closer to her son and what should she do with the dresser. My first inclination was to have it shipped east even though I knew it wasn't a high quality piece and not worth it. When she told me the top had yellowed considerably and some of the drawers didn't slide well, I knew it was time to say goodbye. She sent me some pictures and then donated it to a needy family along with mom's pieces, which made us both happy.

  • cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
    10 years ago

    Yes, mostly to family pieces that have been handed down through generations, but I do have a sofa I love because of its story. Back in the early 90s, I was a singe parent living with my parents after my divorce. Finally able to move into my own place and was heading down here to Virginia. The Radisson Hotel in Philadelphia was closing and selling all their furniture. Since I had basically nothing of my own at that point, I thought I would go and see if I could get a couch in my price range. Stood in line for hours before I got in, but I lucked out and was able to buy a couch that was perfect for me in size, shape, and upholstery. I have recovered it once. It is a very well-made comfortable piece and I would be sad to lose it. It is something that always makes me feel hopeful because that is how I felt when I bought it for about $200!

    That said, it might be poignant to get rid of it, but the life, joy, and energy of children in a home would certainly make up for that. Smile and enjoy your new sofa when you get it! And tell the kids to take it a little easy on the furniture ;)

  • alex9179
    10 years ago

    A lot of my furniture holds an emotional attachment for me because they were given to me by family, some of whom are gone.

    My kitchen table is at least 90 yrs old from Great-Aunt Gertie, given to me by my mom's parents (Grandad is mentioned below).

    My dining table is actually a game table my grandparents had in their kitchen my whole childhood. Lower than average, with really comfortable chairs (only 4) in that '60s Spanish style. I don't care. People will sit in those for hours.

    The buffet is from their blonde walnut mid-century dining set.

    My "entertainment center" is comprised of a couple of '50s dressers that my mom bought me. I haven't seen hardware like it, anywhere.

    A bench/low table my Grandpa made especially for me.

    A pair of bookcases my Grandad made especially for me.

    I made our headboard and absolutely love its imperfectness.

    I have a fainting couch that my uncle purchased, was kept by my mom for a long time, re-upholstered by my Grandpa.

    The one piece that I don't have family ties to, yet I love, is a club chair from a thrift store. The upholstery is horrendous and it's one of my upcoming projects. It is SO COMFORTABLE, that I'm loathe to let it go. I'm not so much emotionally attached, as functionally :)

  • Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
    10 years ago

    I would not keep anything I thought ugly, unattractive or nonfunctional, however, I do have warm fuzzies seeing/using the pieces of furniture and accessories that were a part of my childhood home.

    One of the spare bedrooms has my grandmothers sewing table (sewing machine removed by me) and it's a lovely bedside table, good looking lines, finish and wood grain. The same room has my brothers childhood desk/hutch now painted and used as a card writing area. Both pieces please me in the way they look but the sentiment is deep.
    The same room has many other sentimental things of the same nature, but they are all attractive pieces.
    I belong and connect to the room in ways I do not in other areas of the house.

  • threeapples
    10 years ago

    Yes. I get emotionally attached to all kinds of inanimate objects. I too wish I wasn't so melancholic.

  • anele_gw
    10 years ago

    Sorry to go off topic, but a teenager tossed a 5 y.o. on a sofa and leapt on him-- so hard it cracked the frame???? I think he needs some supervision . ..that is WAY too rough with a young child. Thank goodness he was OK, but that should not be happening!

    Anyway, yes, I do get attached. I bought some tables that are so pretty but I have to babysit them. I think of where else I could put them, but I'd have to babysit them there, too (because of my DH, not the kids). I have been thinking of changing them to something I don't care about, but can't bring myself to!

  • outsideplaying_gw
    10 years ago

    Yes, my childhood vanity dresser with bench and tilt mirror and a Windsor rocking chair that was my great-grandmother's. Both are in excellent condition and will be passed to my daughter who wants them and loves them as much as I do. She borrowed the rocker for a while to rock her own daughter but it was a bit uncomfortable for nursing.

    Other pieces, I am not so wedded to for the long haul. DH hates to get rid of anything that is still standing on its own, so I have to do some convincing sometimes that it is time for a piece to go.

  • hhireno
    10 years ago

    Am I emotionally attached to my furniture? No.

    Looking around my house I see things I enjoy looking at and using, things that serve me well, things that even have some memories associated with them but I can't say I'm emotionally attached to any of it.

    I keep things a long time because I don't like to shop for replacements. It's once and done for me. I'm not going to look for a new sofa or whatever item until the old one is no longer functional.

    I have a few pieces from childhood but if another family member wanted them, I could pass them along without regret.

  • Em11
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Thank you for all the feedback. It's been great to read about people who love things like I do. This was my first topic post here, although I've been reading for a few years and have commented once or twice.

    I know what I have to do. It's got to go. You all have reminded me of the things that I'm really attached to, such as the Lexington rice bed and highboy that my mom got me nearly twenty years ago for my first real pieces of forever furniture, my mom's mid century modern chair that she often sat in while feeding me, my grandmother's sofa table and sewing box, and my mom's china.

    The sofa was way cool, but it's broken. We did consider repair. A good friend is a furniture upholsterer and restorer, but I think that deep down, I want a new one. I'll make pillows from the fabric, because they'll actually look great on a brown leather chesterfield.

    As for the five year old, he's as tough as the teenager, and probably is the one that started it, but both did get reprimands from their moms. I just wish their moms had been as worried about my sofa. Can't say I wasn't glad when that get together was over and everyone went to their own homes. My husband and I are happy with a fat cat that sits on its own floor pillow and doesn't move much.

  • southernstitcher
    10 years ago

    Glad you have closure on your loved piece! Were I the teen's Mom, I would have offered to pay something, and then made him also pay some. Reprimand is one thing, but no consequences for breaking someone else's posession is the thing that ensures it'll happen again, usually.
    Enjoy your new furniture!

  • Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
    10 years ago

    Post more Em! Thoughtful posts are always appreciated by those who hang out here.

    As far as the sofa, unless I missed it, you didn't mention the brand so generally, ten years is an acceptable time for a sofa life. If it was a really well made sofa and you paid big bucks, it's not, but given the parameters, I would say, "Great! I get to buy a new sofa!" and move forward.

  • anele_gw
    10 years ago

    Since you want a new one, I suppose this is a "good" way to get one, but as others have said, it would have been nice to have had some compensation.

    Heh, heh about your fat cat! I love fat cats. One of ours is a little hefty. She has big bones, though, or that's the story we tell. Such a difference compared to one of our others, who is so lean (Jack Sprat and all that!). He is the one who is always literally right in the middle of things, even the dance parties that the kids have (lying on the floor), ha, ha!

    Post of picture of your kitty and furniture!

  • Valerie Noronha
    10 years ago

    Yes, I do as well. I redid my DD2's room a few years ago and put in a vintage highboy chest with a matching bookcase which I had painted in a creamy white. When DD1 left for college recently it made sense for DD2 to use her furniture as it included a large study desk with hutch top which she needed for her school work. So in the switch there was no room for either piece, plus neither were DD1's style and I wanted her to still feel like she had a nice room she could come home to on school breaks. I ended up replacing it with the IKEA Expedit bookcase which was more practical for her present needs and selling the highboy which I had painted a creamy white on CL. What made me feel better is it went to a teen-aged girl who was redoing her room and really liked it - so she will appreciate it. For now I kept the bookcase in DS's (also in college) room. It doesn't really go, but I am contemplating either painting it a grey and experimenting with Chalk Paint or stripping and refinishing it back to it's original mahogany. DH would just like me to sell it to the girl who bought the highboy as she liked it and it would keep the two pieces together as a set. Not sure why I don't just sell it and am holding back.

    I also had to dispose of a full sized Mahogany pineapple bed I had in college aged DS's room. Again, I loved that piece, but it was dwarfing his small room so I sold it on CL. It took awhile to sell but eventually went to a couple starting a board-and-care in their home who wanted to surround their clients with nice furniture. So, that sale gave me a good feeling as well.

    I did also have a small ceramic wall piece from my childhood with a prayer painted on it. It was in DD2's room, but not rehung yet and she broke it by accident. I felt terrible about it and so did she. As I comforted her, I told her it was more important to me that she remembered to say her goodnight prayers than having a plaque on the wall; she no longer needed the plaque as a reminder, but I had hoped it would be something she could pass along to her own children so I can really identify with the emotional loss when something is broken.

  • patty Vinson
    8 years ago

    YES, I am! Since I don't buy sporadically, but need to feel an emotion of sorts when buying, i'll use the word 'love' loosely. When the day comes that I need to downsize on my household 'acquisitions' it's gonna be sad time.

  • ingrid_vc so. CA zone 9
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    No, I don't get attached to furniture. I've lived in dozens of different places in three countries and things always got left behind. I really enjoy furniture when it looks good, but when it gets shabby I'm ready to let go. What I can't part with is my Chinese porcelain collection and my paintings, especially the ones my husband did. When I get older I'll sell off my porcelain pieces one by one since no one will know what anything is worth except me. Until then they're a cherished part of my life every day.

  • Joan Wilson
    7 years ago

    Yes, I'm one who is emotionally attached to furniture. I've had my living room set for 15 years. The sofa especially is sinking/lost support. I have even tried placing support boards under the sofa, but even that is no longer helping. After tons and tons of furniture shopping I finally decided on a new set of living room furniture. I had planned to donate the furniture but now at the last minute I have frantically placed the one and a half chair in my office. I will donate the sofa and the coffee table only but I can't part with my favorite chair. I fear that my new set will not be as cozy and/or comfortable.

  • ingrid_vc so. CA zone 9
    7 years ago

    My dining room table belonged to my parents and so did the old, ratty chair under it, and there's another wooden chair that I saw my grandmother cover with fabric many years ago, and it's as though the life lived around them has seeped into them. They're all gone now and this is what's left of them. The new furniture for the living room that I purchased ten years ago has no such associations, but every piece of art and antique Chinese porcelain that I own is tied to my heart strings.

  • 3katz4me
    7 years ago

    Not really - only some antiques I grew up with that originated with grandparents who died before I was born. The rest is just replaceable material stuff that has no special meaning to me.

  • aprilneverends
    7 years ago

    Hmm..to some point. I also moved a lot..forming strong attachments would be dangerous)) But I am definitely more emotional about some pieces. Either in my memories, or some things I have now, but took me a long time to hunt them down. Things that have a whole story attached to them.

    What I'm definitely very attached to-my most favorite art and books. These move with me..

  • aprilneverends
    7 years ago

    PS not ridiculous at all-I definitely still animate most of the objects around me:) Even the ones I don't especially like..

  • just_terrilynn
    7 years ago

    I had an odd attachment to my big thick boos meat block island. In the new house I had no need for it. I had lovingly taken care of it and it was in near mint condition. It took me forever to sell on CL as people wanted it for the price of a stick of gum. Eventually though it went to a good home. I wonder how it's doing this morning.

  • katlan
    7 years ago

    No, not attached to anything I own. There are a few small items that have sentimental meaning because they belonged to my parents. I like my home and furnishings and "stuff", but I could sell it all in a minute.

  • User
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    Absolutely. Case in point: When we were planning to downsize and building a smaller home, I "pre-sold" my Stickley breakfast table and chairs as we weren't going to have the space to use them. The woman I promised them to was building as well, and couldn't use the set right away so we just held on to it for her. When things fell apart with our build job and we found the new home we're now in, we realized we would have the perfect spot for the set, and I sheepishly went back to the woman and asked if she would consider letting me buy back the set from her. The more I thought about having to give it up, the more it upset me. I actually cried over the very thought. She was most gracious and did allow me to buy back the set - something I'll always be grateful to her for. I knew I would probably never again be able to buy furniture of that quality, and was thrilled at being able to keep it, and also realized how much it really meant to me.

  • Sister Sunnie
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    We always have these crazy stories that go along with our family furniture, how it was found, the work done on it, family memories associated with, etc....so yes we are a family with emotional attachments to our furniture. Usually nothing valuable but rich in laughs or memories...... case in point our youngest daughter fell in love with a green leather chair at goodwill. She was in grad school in the city at the time. so it was a financial reach for her to purchase it, a physical struggle to fit it in her compact car and she had to store it for months before use. In the meantime she named it Watson (another family trait) and worried over that darn chair (was it cold, was someone going to steal it from her car in the parking garage). Years later in her first real home and Watson has a place of honor and a long oft repeated story to go with. Do you think she'll part with that piece of furniture anytime soon??

  • cacocobird
    7 years ago

    When i was forced to downsize, i had to get rid of a lot of my furniture. i bought each piece with love, and enjoyed having them around. i'm still sad that i had to give it up.

  • Em11
    7 years ago

    Wow, I hadn't thought about this post in quite a while. I see it was nearly three years ago that I originally posted the question. Well, I've got a new sofa now, a brown leather chesterfield that I've always wanted, and I love it. I made a couple of pillows out of the old sofa and they do look great on the chesterfield. Other than that, I haven't looked back. Funny how the new sofa totally made me forget the old one.

  • User
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    Yes, absolutely. We bought several dining sets and returned them all because I couldn't part with the cheap farmhouse table I had bought as a set with some equally cheap windsor chairs 30 years ago. Our best holidays and memories while raising my daughter were at that table and nothing else felt right. So I gave up looking, tossed the chairs and refinished the table instead. I found chairs that fit perfectly with it and as a set, it's beautiful now. I'm so glad I didn't settle.

    We have some antiques and other pieces I would insist on storing before I'd agree to sell too but most things I'm attached to because for the first time instead of just buying something that we can afford or will work, I'm holding out to find pieces that I or we (when DH wants to be involved) truly love and make me or us (accordingly) happy to begin with.

  • amylou321
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I've never been attached to furniture, but I remember when I was little,we would travel from Alabama to Wisconsin every summer to visit family. We always stayed at grandmas. Grandma had this light blue shag carpet in the living room. I never really thought much about it until when I was about 18 or so, mom announced that all grandmas kids were going to chip in and replace the 30 year old carpet at grandmas house. I was very upset,and to my surprise ALL 5 of my siblings were too. She ended up choosing a light blue,non shag carpet. That helped,but not much. That house never felt the same again.

    She also had this big painting of a lovely Spanish woman. My grandpa was in insurance,and the painting was a payment to him. (She always called it "grandpa's other woman") I don't know why,I always loved it. Those are really the only two things that stick with me about her house. She died last year. A few weeks ago, mom and all 9 of her remaining siblings got together to clean out the house. Imagine my delight when a large box arrived on my doorstep,containing that painting. It's very big and old fashioned, and does not go with anything in the house, but it will be displayed on the hall wall with love.

  • josh degeorge
    3 years ago

    After I had my kidney removed from Stage 3 cancer, my couch held me as I suffered and healed. I just put it out to the street today after a solid 16 years service to me and my heart aches. I didn't expect this and writing this you right now is helping me own the sadness. Thanks for listening.

  • calistas
    3 years ago

    This is a very old thread, but I definitely get very attached to items that have good memories associated with them or that have been in the family for decades. I love to redecorate and have old items painted or reupholstered. I have some dear pieces that I no longer need and that won’t fit through the attic access (it’s climate controlled up there), and I am really struggling with what to do. They are no longer in style, so finding them a loving home is unlikely. (I should probably talk to a therapist or read that book by the Japanese woman who organizes. ) Maybe something else will catch my eye and persuade me to let the old items go...

  • Lumi Lynn
    2 years ago
    last modified: 2 years ago

    Yes, when my husband and I first moved into our own place, my parents bought us a 40" tv and a huge entertainment center. It had tons of shelving which worked great because we are both gamers and there was plenty of space for all of our gaming consoles, and games. One day my husband goes and buys a new one from some lady selling hers behind my back, doesn't bother measuring it, and it was missing shelves. He takes a hammer to mine and throws it in the trash in pieces and only then realizes the one he bought doesn't even fit in our living room. So yes I'm emotionally attached to my now broken entertainment center that I loved, because it was perfect, and now I'm sad, angry, and really dislike my husband

  • Jane Maxwell
    last year

    I get emotionally attached to everything..especially my sofa … my husband and i bought it when we first got married. We snuggled on it…I slept on it when i was pregnant…. We played with the baby on it…. our pets slept on it… now they are all gone. I dont think I could ever part with it.

  • calistas
    last year

    Me, too! I even get attached to certain quilts, etc. At least it saves us $$$!

  • Paul F.
    last year
    last modified: last year

    YES! Worst thing ever is to inherit furniture that you feel you can't get rid of.

  • calistas
    last year

    Absolutely! My guest room furniture is all huge, elaborate, Victorian pieces that I inherited from my late mother. (Looks like Downton Abbey.) Beautiful, but not something I would ever buy for myself. Yet I can’t imagine getting rid of it and knowing that some idiot would probably slap chalk paint all over it…

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