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rouge_gw

why is it so difficult

rouge
16 years ago

Hi. I'll try to explain this as best I can, and maybe someone out there has some advice. I married my husband a year ago, and we are doing good together. The problem is my jealousy of his past, he's got four kids - two which got taken away from him a few years ago, and two which lives with their bm (I have never seen them). After I met him, I got him to start paying child support, and he owes HUGE amounts of back pay. My family lives in another country, and because he can't get a passport we can't even go see my side of the family. Yes, I do feel alot of resentment for him because of this.

Up until the time we got married, he had always said that the two kids that were taken away were not his biological, that his ex cheated but he still took care of them. This was not true as I found out from other family members. When I asked him he said that he was too scared I would leave him, so he lied.

I love him dearly, but these things don't seem to go away. I am ten years younger then he is, and have no kids. We might not even get any, depends on his reversal (got a vasectomy after the last child). But I feel like I will miss out going through everything for the first time, and it will be his fifth! This is probably at the core of it, he will be the know-it-all, knowing everything what to do and what can I say. He did it four times before.

There are so many things. I thought it would get better, because these things are my problems. I just feel that by marrying the man I love, I ruined my future. Please, I feel so inferior to him because he's had four kids. I don't know what to do.

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